Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or anything.
Okay, so I'll warn my readers: This is a Yaoi story! =)Praise it, complain it? Up to you.
The teen shifted at his side, glaringly bored at the ceiling. He felt so drowsy; he needed at least some sleep. How many restless nights has he been having so far? But how can he sleep when he goes fighting here and there. He pulled a piece of fabric over his eyes, leaving his orange hair sticking out like a wad of grass. He remembered, one night, he awoke screaming. He rubbed his throat feeling the burning sensation. That was the worst nightmare he had ever had, seeing his blue-haired friend dying in front of him. Was it bad? He couldn't answer his won question. A soft yawn escaped him, and he decided to again sleep. Thank God, he can finally take a nap….. What was that? He thought. He sworn to himself he felt some reiatsu. But he didn't even dare to mind it; instead he gently and slowly closed his eyes, trying to catch some sleep.
A hard object crash landed on his bed, startling him from his very light sleep. Waking up like this rarely happens. He doesn't even get up when a car honks loudly, or when there are people shouting to the top of their voices beside him. He shot up from the bed, ready to fight, ready to kill, and ready to win. This reiatsu seems familiar. He looked to see a red-head staring at him like he was going to gut him in and out. A growl came from the orange-head teen.
"Don't you just barge in! I think I deserve some sleep and privacy. After all I've done." Yelled Ichigo, running his hand over his head.
"I have no time for this." Renji said coldly.
"Tsk. Don't you always say that, huh? What? Are you going to again let me fight those fuckin' weirdos?"
"It's not the hollow, it's about you."
"What about me? What have I done again? God, you people just piss me off!" Said Ichigo, as he, stood up from his bed. Renji rolled his eyes and heaved a great sigh.
"What? What is it?" Ichigo asked irritated.
"You're being summoned."
"Oh no! No! No! No! I'm tired okay? I'm tired saving the world, true I like winning but please just give me a space, I really.."
"He's back, Ichigo, he's back." Renji interrupted, looking sadly at him.
"Grimmjow's back." He added. Ichigo stood there in his position. He felt his stomach lurch, a gulp went down his throat, his lips went dry, eyes were beginning to be dimmed red, and most of all his heart went as hard as a stone. He just can't believe what he just heard.
"Come." Renji murmured as he stood from the bed.
The Senkai Gate opening in front of Ichigo made him feel uneasy and uncomfortable. Why in the world he left me here? Why too will he go to "HIS" side? Was this really real? If it is then why did he decide to come back? What'll happen to him next? He had come back for what reason? Did he come back…..for me? He thought to himself. There were so many questions that he had in mind, but there was not time for that. It's been a month since Grimmjow left and betrayed Soul Society. If there was one thing Ichigo could have done again, it probably would have been never leaving Grimmjow recklessly that faithful day. He was blinded by the darkness and evil thoughts at that time. There were near the damn door already, behind it is the Captains' room. The hard part was, he can't even move an inch. He was too afraid. Slowly the guards opened the door for the both of them. It was easy to enter; but it was not easy looking at the person inside it. The person that you love most… Love? Ichigo thought. He took a step back; he was not ready for this. With things like this, love never works. Why did he even think of love at the first place? No! He can't enter, and can't see his face again, he was too weak, and he doesn't want to feel pain in his heart anymore….. He slowly fell on his knees; he could hardly believe what's happening to him right now. Renji saw him. He sighed. He didn't want what he's looking at, a person who desperately doesn't want to look back at the past. The kind of person who had already accepted the pain, and who had moved on.
"There's a fine line you know," Renji said, his eyes searching for something, anything, just to keep him going.
"…between want and must, between need and gotta have. You WANT to get out from here, and forget all the pain he has given you, but you MUST enter that door. You're going to NEED Grimmjow for all of your life, but you GOTTA HAVE strength in facing him." He said looking down at the teen that began staring at him; he had pain in his eyes.
"How do you know…..if you love someone?" Ichigo asked looking down at the ground, his hands laid on his lap, fidgeting with the cloth of his pajamas. Feeling an awkward conversation coming into the view, the red hair turned to look at the sky as he scratches his head; red coloration began spreading at his cheeks.
"You don't know?" Renji looked down to see Ichigo swinging his head side to side. He continued to do so as Renji continued to stare.
"Berry, you can stop." Feeling slightly dizzy, Ichigo held his head in one hand, anticipating eyes on the red-haired male.
"You really don't know, huh?" He folded his arms across his chest, eyeing him.
"I was raised by a stupid father, mother died when I was small. I turned to a shinigami and knew how to kill. I came to this 'Karakura School' and we never studied…" Ichigo coughed,
"… 'love'." Renji halted his working mind for a moment.
"Renji?" Ichigo asked after a moment of silence. Without any warning, the red-haired male took Ichigo by the hand and led him through the door. If they were going to have an awkward conversation, it is best be not around Soul Society. Something important was going on, this needed to be finished first. Both male had finally entered the door. All of the Captains were present. Renji loosened his fingers from Ichigo's hand and he found that it took a moment before Ichigo did the same. A smile crossed Renji's face but quickly pushed it aside; he placed his hands at Ichigo's back and gave him a push. The young teen sighed, and continued walking. He walked past Byakuya, and he had the gut feeling, he wanted to kill Grimmjow in his own bare hands. Then he looked at Hitsugaya, a raised brow was he can give. The orange hair turned his sights away from the small male. Ichigo continued walking in silence; he straightened himself, a solemn look on his face. Oh God! How he wanted this to end! There he was, a blue-haired dude standing in front of Captain Yamamoto. Ichigo stopped at his position.
"G-Grimmjow…" Ichigo bit his lower lip, trying to hold back the tears. At least, he's back safe. He thought to himself. Ichigo change himself to be what he wanted him to be, Ichigo wanted Grimmjow to accept him, and while the time he was gone…..he tried his best to change. Be braver and stronger; hold something that a shinigami needed and grasped. What the hell am I thinking? Love, then now…Grimmjow? Ichigo place his hand on his forehead, he was going psycho now.
"So….you betrayed your village just for the power of Aizen, and to kill your brother, am I right?" Captain Yamamoto questioned the young shinigami. Ichigo removed his hand away from his face; he looked at Grimmjow, even though his back was turned at him.
"You know what…within one month; you were put down as a missing-shinigami of Soul Society?" Ichigo winced as he heard the Captain say these words. His eyes waited for what Grimmjow would say…..what he would do to protect himself from this.
"I know." Grimmjow said. 'I know?' What the hell, why 'I know'? That's not going to help him at all. Ichigo thought. He kept looking at Grimmjow with a painful expression. Will this ever end? Sighing, Captain Yamamoto rested his chin on his palm.
"I want you to know….what you will do to make up been with our enemy. You almost destroyed Soul Society by joining Aizen's force!" Grimmjow nodded.
"I know that I can't do anything right now, but my words are what I have to convince you that I've learned my mistakes… I don't regret Aizen's curse…..that is the truth, I just see that…. I have no use and that; I have nothing left now that I'm here" Grimmjow said. He's so honest…too honest… Ichigo looked at the captain then at the boy whom he…
"I'll…..discuss this over with our elite captains," Captain Yamamoto said standing up.
"You are all dismissed." Hearing that, Ichigo abruptly turned his back from Grimmjow. He continued walking silently. He had never uttered a word ever since he had the conversation with Renji. It was painful enough that Grimmjow didn't care anymore about anyone, especially him. He wasn't this sweet boy no more. Ichigo seemed so weak at this moment, but he didn't care, all what he wanted was to go home, and pretend this never happen. Who also wants this to happen? When you already have moved on, and then the problem just comes back to you! Isn't that painful and annoying? Even it is annoying, Ichigo felt his heart ached. He walked faster than ever, his bangs covering his eyes. Even though one month has passed without the presence of Grimmjow, he tried to stay in control. The young teen did his best to wait for him. Wait? I thought I have moved on? His hands were beginning to turn into angry fists. Well, I'm happy that he's already safe. True he wanted to move on, but how can he ever forget about the boy he truly…A hand caught his wrist making Ichigo stop and turned to see who it is, Renji.
"Oh…..it's you." He said turning away from him looking at the position where Grimmjow stood, unfortunately he wasn't there. He turned to see Renji.
"He isn't there; now let's get back to the 'conversation' ". Renji said who began to walk. Ichigo looked puzzled as he stared at the back of the Renji's head, unsure of what this 'conversation' was. Ichigo kept his sights on his friend. His vision blurred for a moment. He shut his eyes, his hand unconsciously tightened around Renji's, and allowed himself to be lead forward blindly.
Renji soon lead Ichigo into his room. His fingers loosened from Ichigo's hand and he found that it took a moment before Ichigo did the same. Renji turned to see the young teen.
"So," he began once Ichigo's attention finally focused on him,
"….tell me everything." Immediately, the teen sighed. He now knows what this conversation was….How Do You Know If You Love Someone? The teen found himself sitting at the side of his bed.
"Everything what? I asked you the question remember?" Ichigo reached out to get the guitar that was on his bed beside him, he instantly played with it.
"Ichigo, you're like a children's picture book you know? You're simple to read! Obviously, something is bothering you, especially with that loaded question you asked."
"Well I'm sorry I'm so easy to read." He pouted making louder strums, deliberately keeping his eyes away from Renji, who took the liberty of standing in front of him.
"It's not a bad thing, Berry. It is…how should I put it? Hmm…it's like you hide behind nothing, straightforward…" still unsatisfied with the explanation he finally added:
"….pure." Ichigo stopped playing with the guitar; he looked up to Renji, an eyebrow raised.
"You know my family, Abarai, and who they are. Those kinds of people always hide behind masks to never let others take advantage of them, such as my father. But you, you never hide anything, what you feel you show on your face. You do not deceive; it's a good thing, Ichigo." Still uncertain if he should consider it a compliment or an insult, Ichigo refused to comment. Renji sighed and began sitting beside him.
"Are you going to explain, or am I going to have to guess?"
"I don't think you can guess this," Ichigo chuckled as he sets aside his guitar, smirking lightly as he turned to his red-haired friend.
"Well, let's see…" Onyx eyes turned from brown to gaze out in front, Ichigo's mind began to list all the possibilities with the information he had.
"Love, nyah! I don't know! When someone asks about that, they are unsure if they are experiencing themselves. Since you say you're inexperienced, it makes sense. Now…who can Ichigo Kurosaki fall for?" Renji said, thinking.
"He never showed interest in Rukia. Inoue is a possibility, though unlikely. There's always…well Matsumoto, or more possibly…..never goes a day when Grimmjow aren't together, even if they are always fighting….and if he doesn't know that he's in love because they're always fighting…" Eyes wide, heart racing, Renji abruptly stood to his feet, pointing an accusing finger at Ichigo.
"You're in love with Grimmjow!" Instantly, Ichigo's face took on a red color, startled by the sudden accusation.
"Who ever said I was in love!" He quickly retorted.
"I never did! I just asked you how you would know!"
"It's obvious that you are if you asked a question like that!"
"No it isn't!" Renji calmed himself down. This conversation was going nowhere.
"Okay, I'll ask you, calmly this time. Are you in love with Grimmjow?"
"No!" Ichigo shouted immediately, his chest constricted tightly.
"I mean….no, no I'm not….maybe…..I don't know, alright? I don't give a damn if I'm already gay or something." He said, feeling tired all of a sudden. Renji sat himself down once more. He looked at the teen's form, his heart suddenly reaching out to the confused boy.
"Are you not going to punch me or what because I maybe in love with….a guy?"
"Love is love, I can't do anything about it." Renji said.
"When did it start?" He added silently.
"When what?" Ichigo returned, refusing to look at his friend.
"When did you start thinking that?"
"….I don't know, maybe a week or longer, I was slow at realizing you see, Like I told you, I've never really…..felt like this before." Ichigo forced himself to speak through a closing throat.
"Truth to be told, Berry, I've never experienced love either." Surprised, Ichigo lifted his head to get a better view of his friend; the male was red in the face too and refused to return his stare.
"Yeah," Renji cleared his throat,
"…..I've never really taken liking females and never been that brave enough to cross that line towards males. But I've read books. Love comes in all kinds of forms, shapes and sizes. There is love for a friend, for a stranger and even to an inanimate object but they are all different. Especially the love that cause two to join indelibly. When you truly love someone, you always want them there, no matter how many times you fight or argue. At the end of the day, you just want the fighting to stop and for all to be forgiven. Love doesn't always make sense, I know, but it doesn't have to. Plain and simple, you want them with you, through the good and the bad. Your heart beats abnormally when they are around you, you start feeling self conscious, and all you want is to touch them. Whether it be holding their hand, or holding them entirely. You feel like you're nothing without them." Renji paused for a moment, a warm smile creeping along his face.
"Wow…..talking about being expert in love." They continued to sit in silence, each having their own thoughts to think about. The red-haired male sighed and stood to his feet. He fixed his appearance as much as he could.
"Go get him, I've never give up on you, Berry." The male smiled and gave him a pat in the arm. The male dashed through the window and disappeared. Ichigo saw the whole thing. He began lying on his bed, eyes staring at the ceiling. He lied there in silence, mulling over thoughts that still made no sense to him. If I was the one, to be asked, how do I know if I'm in love with someone, what would I reply? Well, maybe….You feel like you're nothing without them; they have a piece of you. You accept them for who they are. Mistakes and all. And even when you know their flaws, you just can't seem to let them go. He thought. But I think, he doesn't like me back! Oh what the hell am I thinking? He got his pillow, covered his face and screamed. He wanted to stay like this forever.
- "I told you, he was the same cold bastard as before." Renji told him crossly. He didn't want to think about Grimmjow at this moment…after trying to help for his comrade….and then getting an answer from him….Renji had realized that he had abandoned Soul Society…and everyone that belong to that Village. Even though he never spoke about the confrontation he had with Grimmjow a few months back, to change the way he thought towards his comrade….whatever it was really damaged Renji mentally. Ichigo had tried his best to not believe anyone….and he convinced himself that Grimmjow was only doing this because he had to kill his brother…but, as weeks went by…..then a month, everything….everyone began to question him. You can say….to him, it was experiencing hell.
"Grimmjow doesn't care for you….you should be careful Ichigo, one day, he might use you."
"I told you Berry, DAMN. Why won't you fuckin' listen to me? Grimmjow is a cold hearted bastard, don't trust him!" His friends ….the people that meant everything to him hurt him so much….just by saying these words and Ichigo only sobbed throughout his time waiting for him. There was hope for him…there had to be hope for him, because he was Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. How many times did he protect him? He wanted to convince himself so badly….that Grimmjow was still the old boy he had ever loved…..and cherished. Now that he was back…. Ichigo Kurosaki didn't know what to do.
"He's all that I have…" He said silently to himself.
Really….Ichigo? A voice suddenly he can hear, a sweet and soft voice.
Is he really someone that will accept the fact you love him…? Do you think he will feel the same way? Please….do not wait for him to come back to you.
"Stop it…." Ichigo covered his ears, trying to shut the voice up.
He hurt your feelings, he destroyed your life, and he doesn't even care for you!
"G-get out! Just! Go way! Shut the fuck up"
Promise me, you'll never get near that man. Something bad will happen to you, something unexpected.
"Who are you for me to listen?" Ichigo shouted. It took seconds before it could answer.
I am you. –
Ichigo woke up tears blurring his eyes as he shivered from the coldness even if his room was warm and musky, didn't opened the air conditioner. It took him a moment to register where suddenly something beeped on the left. He whirled his head immediately to see where the sound came from. It was his cellphone which his dad bought for him last year. He awoke even before his cellphone beep which almost never happens because not even cannon shots will be able to wake up fast. (Unless if he can feel reiatsu, he'll really wake up). He rubbed his eyes to see his room better. It's weird you were never supposed to remember your dreams but then again if you've been having it almost every time you slept for a whole month straight who wouldn't? He thought to himself. As if by instinct, he immediately grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around himself. Shivers running up and down his spine. He wanted to cry, and make this unbearable pain in his heart….he gulped…HE'S here.
"Ichigo." Spoke someone from his left which made his body still. Ichigo hesitated to look him in the face.
"Ichigo." He said again. You can hear the irritation in his voice, he hated repeating himself. Ichigo sighed, sat up not wanting to play this out longer than it should. He turned to face the guy that made not only his heart beat fast but the hairs on his back stand up, and his breathing labored because he wasn't looking at a guy, he was looking at a God.
"Grimmy." The name sounded like velvet in his lips.
"Why did you want to meet me?" He beat himself up mentally for having to ask that why else would he want to meet up with him if not to visit.
"Berry." Grimmjow looked straight in the eyes of Ichigo. His dazzling sky blue eyes boring into Ichigo's plain brown ones. It took all his strength to look away. Ichigo loved it whenever he looked at him straight in the eyes before whenever Grimmjow did, you can only see love and nothing else but now, you could see the fury and the hate etched not only on his eyes but his face as well.
"This isn't easy for me." Grimmjow said forcing the teen to look back to him. Ichigo looked at him, aside from hate and fury, he saw determination in those eyes and he knew even before he spoke what he was going to say. Ichigo removed the sheets around him, stood up, and walked up to him. He placed a finger on those luscious soft lips which he always worshipped.
"You don't have to say anything, I understand." Ichigo said not looking at him. Instead, he stared at his own pale white feet. Just then, Grimmjow caught Ichigo's finger which was still on his lips with his hand and placed a gentle kiss on it enough to make Ichigo shiver with delight.
"Berry…." He whispered.
"….look at me." Ichigo shook his head not wanting to look at him because if he could see Ichigo right now he would see a face shining with tears. He hated it when he cries. Just then Grimmjow caught Ichigo felt a finger lift my chin and even if he could swat it away, he just couldn't. It seemed too, he didn't have the strength! Instead of seeing repulsion on Grimmjow's face, he smiled the smile that couldn't falter to brighten anyone's day that simple smile instilled hope in Ichigo that he won't leave.
"Please." Ichigo stammered, wincing as he heard his pleading voice. He hated begging and Grimmjow hated naggers as much as he hated seeing Ichigo cry.
"I'm…..sorry." Was all he said before he gently placed his lips on Ichigo's forehead, not lingering even two seconds and left Ichigo on the floor, kneeling and sobbing uncontrollably, heartbroken and completely and utterly shattered.
"I didn't really want you to leave me, I just needed air, I just wanted…." Ichigo said to himself, gasping for breath. Tears began filling up his face. It was 11:15 in the evening; it was so dark outside and was also dark inside his room. He began wiping the tears that had just fallen. He inhaled and exhaled heavily. He fumbled his way to look for the lamp switch but even before he could reach the lamp it flicked open for him momentarily blinding him. When he finally stopped rubbing his eyes and opened them, he saw a shadow looming beside his bed. Ichigo froze thinking whether to fight or shout or just find something to whack this person. But then he heard the person's voice and suddenly not only was Ichigo's body frozen, but his heart as well. He knew that voice even if he was miles away. Ichigo struggled to find his voice through his throat that suddenly dried up and before he could even answer the person's face came closer until Ichigo could make the person's face because of the light from the lamp.
"You really think that I would leave you? I would not do that ever again." Grimmjow said going towards him.
"I'm back…" Those words struck Ichigo in the heart. Grimmjow smile etched not only on his face but eyes as well. Grimmjow was back to his old self.
"Well, let's go!" Grimmjow said giving a hand to Ichigo.
"What? W-Where?" The teen asked, as he unknowingly, took that opportunity to take that hand. The teen was now on foot. Still sniffing. Red eyes also remained. Grimmjow led out an inaudible chuckle as he makes his way to the cabinet at the side. He opened it and looked at it. Ichigo sure is a neat freak. The fresh all day boy. He got a plain black shirt and tight jeans that really fitted him.
"Here ya go!" He said giving it to the teen that looked anxious. As soon as the blue head disappeared into the room, Ichigo was half naked, already pulling his old shirt off to replace with another. Grimmjow walked out.
"Come on, we're wastin' time! Geez, you dress as a fast girl does." He said in a mocking tone, though the glare he got in return told him that Ichigo wasn't in the mood for teasing. Damn! Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He needs to learn how to act like a teen, trying to be all mature and shit…. Grimmjow thought going towards the door. He was awarded with the sound of rattling wood, causing the door to shake a little. Grimmjow winced. If it broke, then Berry would have to kill him.
"Excuse me! I didn't know that I was going out, so sorry to tell that I'm wearing pajamas! And I'm not like you; look at what you're wearing! It's like you seek attention, attention from a woman. " A small tint of red shaded the teen's cheek. Grimmjow was wearing a black shirt that bear open at his chest for everyone to see how hot he is. Dark skinny jeans and Retro sneakers to complete the perfect look. After Ichigo was done, he got a handkerchief that was on his table hoping to catch him off guard but fussed when Grimmjow caught it as if he was expecting it.
"Better luck next time." He proclaimed as he smirked. He was about to open the door when Ichigo shot past him, opening the door to run out. Grimmjow chuckled and made his way out into the cool evening air. He kept his handkerchief at his pocket. Ichigo stared at the red motorcycle that was parked in front of him. Oh how he missed to see it and feel it. He saw a brown coat folded at the seat. Grimmjow went to get it and gave it to him.
"The weather's cold, please wear it."
"Wait! How come, I can't feel your…reiatsu?"
"Golden necklace. It was given to me when my mother died." He said holding the necklace that was around his neck.
"Even you say you're strong, you still can't feel my reiatsu! Anyway, it worked on you didn't it? You thought that I left you. Hehehehe….you're so cute when you…." Grimmjow hasn't finished his sentence, because Ichigo grabbed the coat and gave him an evil stare, which means "I'll drown you to the deepest part of the sea!" That was his motto every time Grimmjow teases him. Ichigo turned away from him and rode on the motorcycle. Ooooppsss…he's not in the good mood as always. Grimmjow thought to himself.
The loud humming of the motorcycle was the only thing making any sort of disturbance to the silence hanging around the group of sour looking travelers. The entire ride had been dead silent. Grimmjow was lost in deep thoughts, yesterday actually. While he was out, stalking the night as only he can do, a vision passed through his mind. Almost someone slipped in the video, pausing his own world to play this unknown tape on fast forward. Grimmjow shook his head, focusing on the road again. The vehicle hovered over the cold night; a line of trees outlined the perimeter of the forest near by. The moon was clouded, adding more chill to the now freezing air. The younger teen sighed, turning to look at the scenery around him. Grimmjow felt the teen's small hand crumple his shirt. He turned slightly ad caught the once normal boy in his vision. The way Ichigo gazed out the scenery, his brown eyes hazed over with some unknown emotion, was near heart-breaking. Thoughts of his vision flooded back into mind. This child knew nothing more than death, lots and lots of death. The silence surrounded them once more; the humming of the vehicle grew softer and softer. The road began to get a little bumpy. Ichigo jolted suddenly, his other hand flying to grab the male's shirt. He buried his face into the nook of the other's broad shoulders, slowly looking to catch sight of two blue orbs. They blinked. Another bump and the younger, once more, hid behind the male. He wondered why the road turned so rutted. His brown eyes trailed upward again, seeing the ominous trail up ahead. Ichigo's out of body feeling quickly dissipated; his brain ran on over drive; the only function his body would allow was the use of inaudible words and the raising of his hand to point ahead. Grimmjow came back to the real world, the noise of his motorcycle hitting rough road finally hit his ears. His head whipped around just in time to see the fall up ahead. Why it had no safety trail? He didn't know and cursed inwardly for the people who were responsible for this road. His hands gripped tightly onto the handles, roaring the quite engine to life. Grimmjow grunted as he forced the machinery to turn. The motorcycle protested to the sudden commands given to it, grunting as it spewed gravel. The world stopped. Heavy breathing was going on with both males, Ichigo kept his grasp on the male while the other was lost in deep meaningless thought. Noting moved. No one dared to move. The world suddenly felt like if a single thread of string supported it. Then the world suddenly started to tilt off to one side. The younger male's arms began to frail violently, feeling his weight shift in the wrong direction, his legs slipping off the seat. His eyes caught sight of the drop below, fear pulsing through his veins. No matter how forceful one drills into his mind to be fearless at all costs, when faced immediate death, all that flies out the window. Ichigo was near certain his death was below him when his own coat began to strangle him, suspending him in the mid air. His head was buzzing with no real noise; everything was startling to turn dark around him. A low, rough grunt sounded above him; brown eyes turned to catch with blue ones. How had he gotten himself into this? Grimmjow replayed that one single thought over and over in his mind. This brat was more trouble that he was worth. He grunted once more, finally able to pull up the teen. He tripped over himself. How? He didn't know, he just did and both fell into the ground opposite of the drop. The teen wheezed, trying to take in air as he wrestled with a coat. He felt utterly disoriented and he just wanted to get away from the cliff as much as possible. The male, on the other hand, just wanted the teen off of him. With strong hands, he grabbed the smaller's shoulders, easily picking him up and throwing him off to the side. A pile of sand scattered everywhere as the smaller fell, the seeping cold slipping through his clothing. He gave out a small yep.
"Damn Berry! You're too much trouble for what your damn worth!" As soon as the words slipped from Grimmjow;s mouth, he immediately regretted them. He wanted to reach out and take back the words as soon as his eye landed on the younger's male brief expression. Ichigo's eyes filled with a pain he knew all too well, the feeling of never being wanted, a feeling Ichigo never wanted to have and his only wish was that this certain emotion was killed long ago with the rest of them at the Soul Society.
"Hey….Ichi…" Grimmjow spoke almost uncertain.
"Shut up! Just shut up, Grimmjow! If you don't want me around, fine! Not like I want to be around you! Just leave me here if that's what you want! Why do even want to lag me around anyway!" Deep within himself, Ichigo knew that he never wanted to hear that answer. He ran his sleeve across them, not wanting Grimmjow to see him cry, yet again. It was stupid of him to even have feelings. So why…? The teen turned on his heel and took off, his footing slipping slightly in the sand. Stupid, stupid Grimmjow! Ichigo's head jerked back; with awkward footing he found his body doing a one-eighty. His boots slipped on the slick stone, unable to keep himself stable, sending him forward what felt like a hard stone.
"If I wanted to get rid of you, I would have…"
"You already did that to me! Are you planning to do that again?" Ichigo hissed, realizing that his rock was none other than Grimmjow. He pushed harshly against the male's chest.
"Grimmjow. Let go, let go, let go, lemme go!" Hot tears threaten to rise once more, just the fact that Grimmjow had said it casually, said that he was too much trouble than he was worth, fear and other emotions rose all up too suddenly for the teen to handle. He wanted distance; he wanted time to compose himself. The spiky blue haired male could feel the hot tears that ran down the teens face onto his chest, the light water soaking through the thin fabric of his shirt. Everything was wrong, the brat's response was wrong. He was suppose to yell, he was suppose to get furious and spew insults, throw punches, not this, defiantly not this.
"Ichigo, will you just shut up and listen to me!" Grimmjow practically yelled into the younger male's ear. Ichigo froze, his eyes running with tears now. He stiffened, muscles aching but he said nothing, kept quiet as instructed.
"I….will never do that to you again, okay?" It sounded Grimmjow wanted to say more but he remained silent. Ichigo shivered, feeling the cold even more as his own body was pressed against the males, the thin materials of both coat and shirt did nothing to block out the cold weather, or the cold coming from Grimmjow. The older male must have realized this for he began to unclasp his hands, allowing the teen to take a step back. Ichigo turned his gaze to the ground, his entire body shaking. He hated feeling this weak, this vulnerable and it was only this one stupid male that made him feel that way. He ran a sleeve across his eyes once more, feeling them burn. They felt puffed too.
"…Let's get back on the motorcycle, alright?" The teen spoke now words; he simply turned and began to walk, head lowered. The rest of the ride was kept in silence.
"You lost…the coat?" Grimmjow raised his hands in defense, a guilty grin spread along his features. But the teen was far from being in a forgiving mood. Anger filled him, making him take on a shade of red.
"Was it my fault you left it behind?"
"Yes! It's your fault, all your fault if you just-." The male gave a loud, exaggerated sigh, turning from the smaller male and began to walk down the streets of the market place. After a long ride of silence, they have finally made it to their stop, a small city in which Grimmjow did not bother learning the name of it. It was a simple stop for them to eat and pick up supplies.
"Oi! Don't you dare turn your back on me when I'm talking! Grimmy!" A grin spread across the face of the older male. Ichigo had always reminded him of duckling, never straying too far from its mother. His blue eyes trailed along the markets shops, his mind wandering off. Why exactly did he get so distracted? It's not like he had never seen the brat get all emotional before. So why did it affect him that much? He ran a hand through his blue hair, giving another loud sigh. A small body ran into him, causing his sigh to be cut off short. Grimmjow's eyes trailed down to catch sight of the small teen rubbing his sore nose.
"Grimmy! Why'd you stop!" Brown orbs looked upward towards the tall man, caught in his sudden stare. Hesitant, Ichigo took a step back, suddenly feeling at a lost for words under the male's stare.
"W-What?" Ichigo could feel a small heat rise to his cheeks as the male continued to stare. He had never seen Grimmjow looked so concerned, if that was the right word. Before he had time to utter another word, the blue-haired began to reach over him, placing his large hand on Ichigo's head. His fingers slowly combed through the boy's hair. It was a strange yet comforting feeling, making Ichigo feel all the weirder.
"G-G-Grimmjow?" The light-headed feeling quickly dissolved in the male's head upon hearing alight squeak that emerged from the smaller male before him. His hand froze, not knowing how to continue without looking any guilty. Why was he doing this? Nothing to seem fit, at all. Thinking never got him nay place good, thinking always got him into trouble. That's why he was a man of all action and at this point….he was begging his brain for a sweet escape. Oh! The irony. With a quick flick of his wrist, Grimmjow relieved the boy from a single strand of hair on his head, his blue eyes pretending to examine the single piece of hair. He easily let the wind carry it off; amusing himself lightly with the expression the brown eyed male gave. Ichigo rubbed the top of his head vigorously, though it was one single strand of hair, he could still feel the pain. He looked upwards to glare at the male.
"Why'd you do that for!" Ichigo protested as he continued to rub his head. The spiked hair male gave a loud laugh, turning to continue his walk down the market street.
"Boy, you are getting old. Your head is riddled with white hairs!" The best excuse he could come up with. Ichigo followed after the male, a slight growl emerging from his throat. Grimmjow was acting suspicious and it was as clear as the night.
"Grimmjow! Stop being stup-" Once again, he ran into the blue-eyed male. With a light scowl, brown eyes turned upwards to the male.
"Now what?" Grimmjow had suddenly stopped in front of a vendor who was selling coats. The weather was getting colder, plus he needed to replace the coat he lost. His eyes followed to the old pump vendor who looked at them with smiling faces.
"Can we get miniature sized coat please?" The male asked with a serious face. Ichigo's face took on a shade of red; it was stupid of him simply assume Grimmjow was talking about him but he knew the male well enough that he would crack any short jokes when he could. With a light jump, the smaller teen laid a good smack on the side of that mess of blue-haired. Grimmjow winced slightly, an amused look on his face.
"Okay, the next smaller size then." Grimmjow replied with a slight laugh.
"Grimm-" The orange-haired growled through clenched teeth. The white-haired woman gave a tiny laugh, going around back to her stand. She fluffed out the thick material and handed it to Grimmjow.
"This should fit the young man." She replied with as soft voice.
"This seems too big ma'am, do you have anything sma-" Before the male could respond, Ichigo stole the coat and tried it on. He outstretched his arms, taking a feel to the material. Grimmjow watched discreetly, a small smile taking form. As he watched the smaller male, he couldn't help but realize that Ichigo grew a couple inches since their first encounter. He was defiantly getting older; soon he would be old enough to go out on his own. Soon he will be strong enough to fend for himself. Soon…Grimmjow won't be needed anymore.
"Grimmy, what's wrong?" A small voice punctured through his thoughts; Grimmjow realized that the teen was watching him with concern.
"Huh? What? Oh, that coat doesn't fit you, told you. You need a smaller size kid." Ichigo scolded as he outstretched his arms out once again; the sleeves hung over his hands looking as if he borrowed the coat from an older brother. Grimmjow blinked once as he watched the male tug at the sleeves. He was just joking when he said that the boy needed a smaller size…it wasn't like he knew the brat's size right? He gave a long tired sigh; he was trying not to think about anything. The male stopped suddenly. He thought of it for awhile…..It's seems like I think, I left something…..he thought to himself.
"Dammit Grimmjow! Did you really have to walk so fast? What's the rush?" Oh, the kid. He left him behind. Oops. A stupid smile crossed the older male's features. Ichigo immediately glared.
"And don't smile just to get out of it! Stupid!" The teen began walking on his own now, tugging the coat. For one, the cold had been biting at him furiously and second, he wanted to hide the tint pink on his cheeks. Back at the stand, he was still examining the coat when he realized that Grimmjow was no where near him. He had asked the woman and with a smile she told him that Grimmjow had already took his leave. Ichigo's eyes had grown wide with fear as he searched throughout the market. The stupid male's head was no where to be seen. His breathing had picked up as he began walking through the crowd. It wasn't that he wasn't used to people, it was that he wasn't used to so many people without Grimmjow around. He never thought that he could be so dependent on the stupid male. And just the relief that filled him when he caught sight of the tall male it made the small teen want to whimper. But of course he didn't, because that was just plain stupid. Why would he whimper? The hot on his cheeks increased slightly as he tried to block out all those stupid memories.
"I'll pay you back for this coat. You're the last person I ever want to be indebt to." A smile played on Grimmjow's face as he walked along side the teen. His eyes kept on the boy.
"You can pay that back once you grow out of it…" Blue eyes shifted. "If you ever do, Berry." The teen fumed, raging brown eyes shifted to glare at the male. He growled softly, deciding that satisfying the male with a response was not in his good intention. Just let it go. He thought to himself. Repeatedly. The blue-haired smiled; this fuming overreacting teen was the one he had grown attached too and never wanted it any other way.
Thanks for reading, I'll update it as soon as possible. XDDDD