View Full Version : Boy Killed Anally When Office Chair Explodes!

02-21-2009, 06:29 AM


Well, stories don't get much worse than this. A 14-year-old boy in China was killed when his chair exploded, sending chunks of metal into his rectum. The bleeding this caused killed him.

The alleged explosion came from the gas cylinder that was in the base of the chair, the part that allowed the user to adjust the seat up and down. The canister gets compressed when you sit on it, but can it actually create enough energy to make the seat cushion explode like that and kill a man? I doubt it, but this is what people are reporting.

In other news, I am working from a beanbag from now on. Sweet merciful crap.

Article here (http://i.gizmodo.com/5157354/boy-killed-anally-when-office-chair-explodes)

So how do you people that are sitting on them chairs feeling right now, hawhaw!

02-21-2009, 03:49 PM
I don't know how to respond to that. I sit on those types of chairs a lot so now I will be think about it when I sit down and hope that my ass doesn't explode.

Tzu Men
02-21-2009, 03:58 PM
Well... After reading that I've shifted on the seat to the edge of it. And I haven't moved...

I think if I adjust it from now one I'll get off it first. Whoopie cushions will also be prohibited as a precaution.

Seriously that's a messed up way to die, what the hell will they put in the obituary without making it sound comical?

Babyface BK
02-21-2009, 04:08 PM
That is fucking jokes and that title aswell. I still don't believe that seat just suddenly exploded, it must've been a prank that went wrong. Also he fucking died, bleeding from the ass lol. How the fuck do you stop your ass bleeding if you cut it haha.

02-21-2009, 04:27 PM
I would be pissed too if I was a chair and someone made a habit of farting in my face.

02-21-2009, 04:42 PM
K, now I feel distincly uncomfortable sitting here on my ANAL DEATH THRONE.

02-21-2009, 05:59 PM
its the worst thing to die... dying in your bleeding butt.

Sprout fancier
02-21-2009, 07:05 PM
I see IKEA failed to keep this under wraps!

02-21-2009, 08:55 PM
IKEA is in Sweden (the most manly of all countries BTW). Chinese probably tried to undercut an already cheap product by making it CHINESE-class cheap.

EDIT: What I meant was, Chinese aren't going to buy Swedish stuff when they could just use their own stuff.

02-21-2009, 09:09 PM
I lol'd pretty hard.

02-21-2009, 10:06 PM
Here's what happened:

1) goku100 posts a funny news story
2) FG actually makes a decent post
3) Jaxon inserts awesomely funny post

Good thread I say.

02-21-2009, 11:02 PM
I'm sitting on that exact same chair.
Hell, it's even the same color.
Fuck this, I'm getting a comfortable, non-exploding plus anal-death chair.

02-22-2009, 01:24 AM
Time to go buy that $500 kevlar seat cushion.

02-22-2009, 07:47 AM
wow, that is actually really weird and strangely hilarious. I know I speak for many when I say, I am never sitting in one of those chairs the same way again :D

Hurricane Chronicles
02-22-2009, 07:11 PM
Wouldnt it be bitch if you went to hell after that lol that would just top it off

02-22-2009, 07:14 PM
That would be hilarious. Dieing anally by and chair and hell, what could be better? XD

Hurricane Chronicles
02-23-2009, 10:57 AM
That would be hilarious. Dieing anally by and chair and hell, what could be better? XD

Getting raped anally by the devil himself lol

definitly a SouthPark reference

02-23-2009, 10:01 PM
BMAO!!...guess wat dat means..haha..buh eh seriously not funny...Man dats a fuked up way to die tho...U kno im always playing the whole hydraulic thin, makin it go up n down..guess i shud stop..I can imagine the obituary

Here lies Joe John
Caring son
Loving Brother
A Victim of Anal explosion

02-25-2009, 12:15 AM
Holy Shit. :eek:

02-25-2009, 12:29 AM
i was like O_O when i read the title..then when i read the story..it reminded me of 1man1jar.
im glad my laptop is close enough to my bed where i can sit on the bed..and not a chair.

02-25-2009, 05:33 AM
That's nuts...literally...

What a way to go out with a bang...

03-22-2009, 09:09 PM
This isn't funny..exploding chairs kills over 1 person every year.

The Madness
03-22-2009, 09:24 PM
Well, he was Chinese.

1 out of 2 billion is no big deal.

03-23-2009, 05:05 AM
At least the guy died, it wouldn't be very comfortable living after getting chunks of chair in your ass. Actually, it wouldn't be comfortable living after getting anything up in your ass.

You are excused though, FG.

04-03-2009, 07:42 PM
my foot is covering my bum right now :D

04-10-2009, 02:53 PM
I didn't realize those chairs could explode.
What a way to go...