View Full Version : the truth on yoda

08-21-2005, 07:02 PM
Yoda has been a beloved star wars character ever since The Empire Strikes Back. To most people, he seems wise, smart, brave.....

I am sad to tell you that these things are not true.

One of the weirdest scenes in the star wars original trilogy is when luke first meets yoda. Yoda acts very....odd, don't you think? A lot of fans will say that Yoda is testing Luke's patience.

Let me tell you this:
In that scene, Yoda was drunk.

Yes, I know you'll laugh, you'll call me an idiot, but think about it. Stop and think! Nobody in the jedi council expected palpatine of being a sith unitl it was too late. The same is true with Yoda: nobody knows that he's an alcoholic. After all, the whole reason that he couldn't defeat Palpatine or Dooku was because he had a hangover during both of those fights.

When Yoda was mixing that "stew" in his hut, he was really brewing alcohol to sell to minors on Tatooine. Why do you think that Luke thought it tasted funny? The reason that Yoda fled to Dagobah in the first place was to escape the police that were chasing him.

But that's just the begining. You see, Yoda used to be a gangster.

After all, no matter how wise a jedi seems, one who is 900 years old has quite a past, don't you agree? A past that can be forgotten over the centuries.

It's a good thing that Mace Windu never looked underneath Yoda's jedi council chair, because he would have found many copies of "Twi'lek Playboy" there. You see, these are the things that Yoda reads during his private "meditation".

08-22-2005, 12:04 AM
Just... LmaO

08-22-2005, 01:21 AM
..... what? .... I just...... huh? Interesting theory...

08-22-2005, 03:26 AM
I New It!!!!!

08-22-2005, 11:09 AM
I can't believe you could even think that...Even though if f***** funny! LMFAO

Deo Death
08-23-2005, 10:46 PM
OMFG STAR WAR!s This had to be the stupidest thing I've ever heard... though it does make sense.