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Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

http://tyrannyoftradition.com/2012/0...n-heavy-metal/

Quote:

Rick Santorum has been on the offensive lately, but his target has not been Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney or even President Barack Obama. For the past week, Santorum has been using his campaign to take aim at an issue he feels to be the single most dangerous force in America today: Satanism in heavy metal. “If you listen to the radio today, many of these brand new, so-called heavy metal music bands like Black Sabbath, Venom, The WASP and Iron Maiden use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people,” announced Santorum at a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop in Valdosta, Georgia on Thursday.

Santorum’s popularity in the polls has grown substantially since he began speaking out against metal and its assault on traditional values. He has spent much of the past week in the Midwest encouraging young people to stay away from metal artists and listen to performers like Michael W. Smith and Pat Boone. In a recent Gallup Poll, 87 percent of Republican voters think that the biggest problem in America today is “the demented bloodlust of teenagers caused entirely by heavy metal music.”

In the past, Santorum has accused heavy metal of being the cause of some of the worst crimes in American history including the attempt on the life of Ronald Reagan in 1981, 9/11 and the passage of Obama’s Health Care Bill. He stepped up his rhetoric in a speech on Wednesday when he implied that heavy metal is the cause of many forms of mental illness as well as lactose intolerance.

It’s probably not a coincidence that since he began his crusade against metal that his poll numbers have been surging upwards. Picking out a small and unique group, singling them out as “other” and using them to frighten the masses is a proud tradition in American politics. However, many commentators believe that his call for metal internment camps goes too far. Santorum has openly advocated the forced re-education of metalheads. They would be forced to endure 30 days of non-stop “values based” music that promotes the American way of life as well as the free market. In order to leave, they will have to sing the chorus to at least one Celine Dion song.

In response to Santorum’s metal onslaught, Mitt Romney officially denounced his earlier position of “tolerance towards all fans of extreme music”. This, in spite of the fact that GWAR played his inauguration as governor of Massachusetts back in 2003. But things have changed since 2003 and embracing heavy metal music is about as popular selling baby organs on Ebay or clubbing seals. Romney will need to begin pretending to be something else if he plans on facing Obama in the general election in November.

Anyone else find humor in this idiot claiming Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden are "brand new"?

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

Quote:

Originally Posted by kael03 (Post 2102078)

Anyone else find humor in this idiot claiming Black Sabbath and Iron Maiden are "brand new"?

Exactly what I thought after reading first paragraph. Then I thought people that would vote for any of the republican nominees are the actual biggest threats to America. Then I thought about how it's impossible to tell the difference between the crazy shit these guys actually believe and a parody, like some sort of poe law thing.

And then I thought about Crazy Window Washer Guy at work the other day talking about politics and he was ranting about how crazy that Newt Gingrich douche is. Which is funny because Crazy Window Washer Guy is also pretty crazy. And it got even funnier because he was saying to me "How does President Gingrich sound to you?" And I'm like "Holy shit, horrible beyond words." And he's all like "fuck yeah" or some shit. Then some dude comes into the store and Crazy Window Washer Guy asks him "How does President Gingrich sound to you?" And the dude is like "I love the sound of that, it would be fantastic." And Crazy Window Washer Guy and I are all like shaking our heads in disgust and shit. Basically, it was the first time I ever wanted to give Crazy Window Washer Guy a Brofist. He's usually just crazy annoying.

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

What...the...fuck. Heavy metal causing lactose intolerance AND 9/11.

Oh and GWAR played at Romneys' gubernatorial inauguration? I suddenly like him just a slight bit more.

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

Same time post. Pretty awesome.

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

Quote:

Originally Posted by ask me anything (Post 2102081)

Oh and GWAR played at Romneys' gubernatorial inauguration? I suddenly like him just a slight bit more.

And then you realize he's a fanatical mormon that is just as bad as the rest of the nominees minus Ron Paul (the only republican I would ever willingly vote for).

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

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...the single most dangerous force in America today: Satanism in heavy metal.

Never mind drugs, gangs, hate groups, politicians, child molesters, rapists, lobbyists, Republican nominees...

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“...use satanic imagery to corrupt the minds of young people..."

Not like radical Christian churches have done the same thing to young people.

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...a 10,000 dollar a plate sock-hop...

Because I can relate to a man who spends ten grand all willy-nilly.

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He has spent much of the past week in the Midwest encouraging young people to stay away from metal artists and listen to performers like Michael W. Smith and Pat Boone.

I'm making a note to specifically avoid Michael W. Smith and Pat Boone.

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In a recent Gallup Poll, 87 percent of Republican voters think that the biggest problem in America today is “the demented bloodlust of teenagers caused entirely by heavy metal music.”

Eighty-seven percent of Republican voters are insane.

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In the past, Santorum has accused heavy metal of being the cause of some of the worst crimes in American history including the attempt on the life of Ronald Reagan in 1981...

Or, you know, a man having a serious hard-on for Jodie Foster.

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...9/11...

...What.

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...the passage of Obama’s Health Care Bill.

Because when I think "Black Sabbath," I think of affordable healthcare for the common man.

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...he implied that heavy metal is the cause of many forms of mental illness as well as lactose intolerance.

It's times like these that I wish I was an alcoholic.

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...to frighten the masses is a proud tradition in American politics.

America, FUCK YEAH!

Quote:

Santorum has openly advocated the forced re-education of metalheads. They would be forced to endure 30 days of non-stop “values based” music that promotes the American way of life as well as the free market. In order to leave, they will have to sing the chorus to at least one Celine Dion song.

This man needs to be tried and convicted for conspiracy to commit crimes against humanity.

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

Fuck yeah@ above post.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kael03 (Post 2102083)

And then you realize he's a fanatical mormon that is just as bad as the rest of the nominees minus Ron Paul (the only republican I would ever willingly vote for).

I said a slight bit.

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

Are any of you Republicans? Because I laugh at your party quite regularly.

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

I am not. I like to class myself in the party of "Path of least stupidity"

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

I don't know how anyone could be a Republican these days. I mean... Fuck, look at them.

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

Quote:

Originally Posted by kael03 (Post 2102083)

And then you realize he's a fanatical mormon that is just as bad as the rest of the nominees minus Ron Paul (the only republican I would ever willingly vote for).

Romney seems to me to be the most level-headed candidate, at least since Huntsman dropped out (relatively speaking, of course). Ron Paul has several good ideas, but at least a few that I think would be incredibly damaging to the US.

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

if he comes after pokemans, o hell no

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal (Post 2102098)

Really? Romney comes off as such a joke to me. I really kind of despise all the nominees this time, not one of them makes me want them to run this country, I actually worry if some do. I do like some of Paul's ideas, but him being president would be a pretty big gamble, in my opinion his plan for presidency could either be exactly what this country needs, or it could not even work and end up, like you said, incredibly damaging the US.

Also, this dude sounds like a complete nut case. I would understand it more if he had a vendetta against like, all kinds of rock, rap, hip hop and shit. This dude has a serious grudge against metal. The things he says in that article are kind of insane. I think we should come up with idiot internment camps for all the assholes like him. It would at least be more beneficial than locking people up for listening to metal.

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

Quote:

Originally Posted by OG (Post 2102115)

if he comes after pokemans, o hell no

Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Hell would surely be raised (pun intended) if that were to happen.

Re: Santorum: declaring war on heavy metal

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Originally Posted by xxMESTxx (Post 2102116)

Did you miss the "relatively speaking?" Of the circus of current candidates, Romney and Huntsman were at least not outright ridiculous on most issues. Compare anything Romney has said to Gingrich's goal to build a permanent lunar colony by 2020 and tell me his policies and ideas aren't relatively more grounded.