Originally Posted by Shikamaru
the second one is great, but those cant be the top jokes. Most of those are lame lol
Feat of Strength?
A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen.
After several minutes, the older worker had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got."
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles.
Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right, Dumb Ass, get in."
I remember reading this somewhere else, it cracked me up. I'll edit a good joke into this post in a bit.
Edit: A guy walks into a bar and sets a paper bag on the counter. The bartender comes by and asks what's in the bag.
The man responds by reaching into the bag and pulling out a little man, about 9 inches tall. He reaches in again and pulls out a little piano and sets it down. Finally, he reaches in again, retrieves a tiny piano bench and sets it down. The little man moves the bench up to the piano, sits down, and starts playing a lovely piece by Mozart.
"Whoa! Where'd you get him?" the bartender asks. The man pulls a magic lamp out of his bag.
"Rub it and a genie will come out," he explains.
The bartender rubs the lamp, and a genie pops out. He says, "You may have one wish, but each person gets one wish and one alone. What will it be?"
Without hesitation, the bartender says, "Give me a million bucks!"
Nothing happens for a few seconds. Then a duck enters the bar, followed by another, followed by more and more until the place is packed with ducks.
"What the hell?" the bartender yells at the man. "I asked for a million bucks, not ducks! I think your genie's a bit deaf!"
"Well, no shit," the man replies. "Do you think I asked for a 9-inch pianist?"