He stopped as his hand went to his face and the other rested against the doorframe to support him. “I was miserable! It looked as though you still had feelings for me but then you would shoot me down! The only way I could deal with it was to make myself cold to all the looks and things you would say……….eventually I just put up a cold front whenever I saw you……….or when I heard!! You and Sasuke ‘moved in together’! I was crushed! You know what it is to think the person you were engaged to moved in with another man only two weeks after? Thinking you were sleeping together? Making love?!”

Naruto had a look of incredulity on his face. How could she have missed that?

“I’d have preferred a quick death over that torture any day,” he whispered.

Sakura swallowed hard and new tears came out. “We thought it was going to be a week hiccup,” she croaked.

Naruto’s eyes softened. “But…………sniff…..you-,”

“Did what you would do……Naruto,” she whispered while cutting him off.

Naruto’s eyes went wide and tears streamed down his face.

She looked at him. Lips trembling even more till her mouth parted and her face contorted. “If it came down to breaking my heart and my safety you would have acted as though you fell out of love with me. You would do anything to keep me safe. That was your nindo and you never go back on it.”

They were both sniffling now and both crying. Sakura stared at him but he could not bear to look at her. He knew she was right. And thinking back on all the horrible things he did and said to her these past few months.

He dwelled on it for a minute but turned back to meet her eyes eventually. They were clearing things up so best get everything out there.

“What now?” he asked

She slowly bowed her head and put her face into her hands as her body shook.

Naruto wiped his eyes quickly before starting again. “Don’t…………………don’t give me this lifeline,” he said while holding up the envelope, “and tell me I can’t use it,” he finished brokenly.

He felt so much pain at the moment he did not know what to do.

She cried into her hands. Long and loud sobs. “Naruuutoooo………sniff…………i-……sob……I can’t.”

He tilted his head and his face contorted too. He bit his bottom lip before it parted and trembled and sobs came out of his own mouth. “Why?” he croaked.

Her hands dropped to her sides slowly and she stared at him. Leaving herself totally vulnerable to the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with.

‑*