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Old 04-01-2010, 08:42 AM   #25
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Re: 490 Predictions/Spoilers

My April fools prediction. I will do the real one tomorrow.

Maury Povich Presents
"Thats not my baby!"

Maury Povich: "Our show today is based around several angry women who have all come together to deliver one message to several men, "This baby is yours and its time you owned up to it." Normally Konoha is known for keeping quiet about situations such as this but due to a sudden influx of pregnencies there is a need to establish some responicibility. Which brings us to our first guest. Meet Sakura Hurano."

Sakura walks out as the crowd chants "Ho!" at her. Sakura gives them the finger then sits down in her chair.

Maury: "So tell us your story Sakura. Why is it you are here and why you personally have made it your goal to find the father of your baby?"

Sakura: "I am here because of certain things that happened several weeks ago While I was at a party after Naruto beat Pain. I got drunk just like everyone else and as a result my memory is a touch foggy but I do remember waking up the next morning finding that someone had snuck out of my place while I was assleep but left behind one big surprise, Im now pregnent. I was supposed to be on the battlefield and hospital helping the best but now I have to raise a brat. I just want to find the one who knocked me up and then knock that person upside the head and I think I know who it is."

Maury: "Who do you think was the one who knocked you up?"

Sakura: "Naruto."

Maury: "We recently caught up with Naruto to ask him about Sakura's claims and here is what he said."

Naruto video plays. Naruto is standing at a sidewalk with Kakashi.
Naruto: "Sakura has always been such a bitch to me. Always making me go after things for her without her taking responicibility. She says that I got it on with her but more likely she is just trying to dump it on me so she can go on with someone else."

Kakashi: "I agree with Naruto. Sakura has lately proved how useless she is everywhere she goes and we have always had to carry the load for her. Now she thinks that since she got pregnent she must dump it on someone else. Since she always has relied on Naruto to cover for her she thinks she can dump it on him. I say to hell with her. She can take care of that baby herself."

The video ends and Maury is back on.

Maury: "And here now is Naruto and his two friends Sai and Kakashi."

Naruto walks out with Sai and Kakashi. The women in the crowd boo at Naruto as he walks out. Sakura gets angry and gets out of her chair.

Sakura: "This is your baby naruto whether you like it or not! I know it was you I had sex with at that party! That is how I got pregnent."

Naruto: "I have never even touched you Sakura and after all my comments you still would never give me the time of day! No I know for a fact that is not my baby!"

Sai thinking: "Sakura really seems to be so angry about such a happy moment. If only Naruto was the same."

Kakashi: "Both of you sit down! You have already caused us enough embarrassment as it is. Sai stop daydreaming and sit down."

Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Kakashi, and Maury all sit down.

Maury: "So Naruto what exactly makes you think you didn't get Sakura pregnent?"

Naruto: "Its because I haven't gotten any from Sakura at all. Not even a kiss, a bj, or even a hand job! I have gotten nothings but beat up by her!"

Sakura blushes as Naruto mentions the things he never got from Sakura while Kakashi covers his face with his hands.

Kakashi: "Quiet down Naruto and stop making an ass of yourself. Blowjob. Shesh."

Sai thinking: "If Naruto wanted me to blow wind on him all he had to do was ask."

Naruto: "Sakura and I have never gotten it on and yet she is always making my life miserable. The more likely thing that happened is that she probably got it on with her dreamboat Sasuke and now she is trying to dump the baby on me. So I don't have to take it any more Im agreeing to a dna test just to prove that Im not the father as is my sensei Kakashi and Sai whom Sakura has also claimed may be the father."

A crewman walks over to Maury and hands him a note.

Maury: "I have the results of the DNA test right here. Naruto Uzimaki according to the dna test you are.........not the father of Sakura's baby."

Sakura: "WHAT!!!!?"


Maury: "Quiet please. Kakashi according to the dna test you are...........not the father of Sakura's baby."

Sakura bursts into tears and Kakashi tries to console Sakura while Naruto is waving his arms and celebrating. The crowd digs naruto and starts a "Go home hoe" chant for Sakura.

Maury: Quiet please! Sai according to the dna test you are...........the father of Sakura'a baby."

Sakura, Kakashi, and Naruto turn to look at Sai who is blushing like crazy.

Sakura: "I got it on with him!!!!?"

Naruto starts busting a gut and falling over laughing his ass off.

Naruto: "HA HA HA Thats who you got it on with Sakura. You got drunk and banged retarded Sai!"

Sai thinking: "I do not think I can take any more of this embarrassment."

Sai faints and Naruto busts a gut while Kakashi covers his face with his hands and Sakura starts sobing again.

Sakura: "I can't believe I actually got it on with Sai and now Im gonna have his baby! Oh god no!"

Sakura runs to the back as Kakashi follows after her. Naruto start up a "You fucked sai!" chant with the crowd.

Maury: "We will be right back after a break from our sponsors!"
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