Join Date: May 2009
Location: The Halls of Irreverence
Thanked 18,707 Times in 4,853 Posts
Re: Jesus, not the first
Where did black Jesus ever come from? Jesus was a jew, therefore an Arab and Caucasian decent. If he was a particularly pale Arab, boom, the white, bearded Jesus is completely plausible. HOLY SHIT!
But Jesus probably didn't exist the way we think of him anyway.
Also, HR believes we were made from clay. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Hey, I have a good one:
A long time ago, the lands of the earth were covered in a massive flood so that no land remained. It was a perilous time, in which the few surviving animals of the world bound together, clinging to the sides of logs to stay afloat. But soon, they began to go hungry, surviving only on the sea animals the hunters were able to pull out. Man was particularly helpless, unable to swim like the loon, the beaver, the muskrat or even the bear. But the man could dream and one day, the great creator sent him a dream that land could be found under the waters and a new continent could be made. But the man had no way of retrieving this land. So, first the beaver volunteered, claiming he could retrieve the dirt from the bottom on the ocean like he did to build his dams. Down he dove and was gone for half a day. When he surfaced, he came empty handed claiming there was no bottom. Next the Loon offered to go, knowing more about hunting and diving deep for fish in the waters. He too was gone half a day but surfaced, empty handed, claiming there was no bottom. Next, the muskrat went and he disappeared beneath the waves. He was gone a day, then another day and another and the remaining animals feared for his safety. Then, on the third day, muskrat floated to the surface, dead. The animals morned until they saw that he had something in his hands - muskrat had managed to pull some earth to the surface. He had sacrificed himself for the good of the rest. In honour of this sacrifice, turtle offered his shell to bear the weight of the earth, keeping the new island the animals made afloat. As the days and weeks went buy, more earth began to collect on the turtle, some from brave scavengers willing to follow in muskrat's sacrifice, some picked up form the currents until a great island formed. Turtle was never found again.
And that is how North America came into being.
Work that in some how. You really need more talking animals for your "truth".
It's amazing to me that, unlike in the real world, people on the internet will wear "everyone thinks I'm a moron" as a badge of honour.