Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28
Computer operational. Online once again, comrades. Feels good. Offline mode is horrible.
There is pretty much no porn anywhere. At first I found a video tape (VHS or some shit. I don't even remember) with some porn on it in my closet from when I was a little manly beast kid, but I don't have a video tape player so I tossed it. Then I found an old porno DVD I had from whenever DVDs were sorta new and tried watching that. It was shit. I can't jack to that shit. It was all weak old school porn where dudes and chicks just banged while loud elevator music drowned out all the other shit. I need hardcore interweb porn now. Fucking multi-tab shit where I'm switching between japanese chicks getting dispensed from sex vending machines and midgets and fucking drunken college parties and whatnot.
And you know how you're sitting around at work and shit and you'll suddenly think about something awesome like "Hey, is it possible to knock a dog out by punching it?" or whatever? Well, I do, and normally I can just google that shit and find out. But without interwebs you can't do that. So I was pretty much forced to punch my dog in the face thanks to no interwebs. So that sucked. And still, maybe my dog is just tough as fuck from hanging out around me all the time, or maybe I'm not punching it the right way like there might me a certain trick to it or some shit. I dunno, because I can't check. What am I suppose to do, go to a library or some shit? I don't have a library card. Fuck that. (Just checked, dogs can be knocked out but it's just really hard to do. Even cars hitting them don't usually knock them out, it seems. The more you know. Thanks interwebs.)
Oh, and playing Dark Souls without being able to check GameFags and shit was kinda hard because I wasn't sure what to do after ringing the second bell. Pretty awesome game, by the way. You make a dude then there is this little tutorial thing where you smack a non-combative enemy or two then walk through some double doors and have to battle a 20 foot tall fucking demon swinging around a giant fucking demon hammer thing with you bare hands. Well, you can run away from him and grab some weapons and shit if you're a pussy, but fuck that. Took me two hours or so because I lost a few (quite a few) times, but I eventually punched it to death. Fuck yeah, manly. You can also make flaming cestus weapons to punch additional demons and dragons and shit to death. Good shit. Looking forward to skyrim because it seems like I can punch dragons to death there too, but they have much better beard options for when you're making your dude. Know how I know this? Just saw that shit on the interwebs. Goddamn, I love interwebs.
Also, fuck yeah, you guys I suppose. Fuck yeah, glorious AG story updates for me to read. But first, time to fap. And make sure I read all those naruto mango chapters I missed, haha!
Edit: Oh, and I saw a fuck-ton of ad-bot shit. Deleted all the ones I saw, and banned all the bots. And maybe some legit posters, I dunno.