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Old 08-10-2012, 07:22 PM   #15072
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

I always miss debates.

Anyway, I dunno guys. This guy Jerk sounds like he needs a vent, but it doesn't seem so far away from my logic. I mean, sure, he came out as a moron when he said the shit about using your body while you are young or whatever, but his stance is okay.

For me, sex is an important part of the relationship. No matter how old I will get and how much less sex will I have if I am in a long term relationship, there is a part of it when the sex is important and it can very well break your relationship no matter how "similar" you two are. Read below in my response for further explanation.

Originally Posted by ACt View Post
"You better have sex before entering into a long term relationship/marriage because if the sex is bad the whole relationship will suffer and fail."
But it can be true. I mean, I can meet a super awesome chick who is a cool person and all and when we go into bed she lies there like a mannequin without letting a sound because she is all shy or whatever and I feel like I'm fucking a corpse, I would tell her to at least try to change that or bye bye. Really. There is a level of tolerance for this sex stuff. For example I've been in a relationship where this girl wants to turn off the light every time before sex because she is shy. Another one was afraid of my dick (what the fuck??) so she did the same. She said penises scare her, but that didn't stop her from swallowing my load (because she likes to please people). What? No really, there is a level of weirdness I can take and talk it over.

Some things are just too much. There are people who are not too much into sex. Not joking, met several. There was this one chick who kept saying that "it doesn't matter to her". Well, it matters to ME. I want her to want me. I don't want to have someone who is all like "sure, we can have sex, yeah", but jump on my dick like I jump on her pussy.

Originally Posted by ACt View Post
If you based the choice of your marriage heavily based on sex, once the sex life slows, you're probably going to be less happy. Wouldn't be surprised that most divorces occur because A) after the sex there is nothing in common B) they loved the sex that when it waned they wanted the excitement back and left for someone else.
Marriage is a different thing than a relatioship, so I wouldn't know, but the same works for marriages if they are sudden or happened when the two were young.

You say that they might have nothing in common after the sex, and I agree, but the reverse is also applicable. Albeit a lot less in importance, you can discover that your sex life is very boring and that you are pretty much stuck with it when you get married.

That is why, for me, it's important to try out things before the marriage.

Originally Posted by ACt View Post
People can have completely healthy and reward relationships without sex and, quite honestly, when put less emphasis on sex, they develop stronger happier relations with another. If there is physical attraction, the issue of sex will work itself out - this girl wouldn't be the first to ignore a religious decree to get some.
What if there is very little physical attraction but a lot of attraction to the personality? There is that, too. Besides, it doesn't mean that sex will work itself out if there is simply physical attraction.

And honestly, I can't have a healthy relationship without sex. I need it, and it completes my relationship. If the sex part is bad, than it means I will need to sate my appetites somewhere else, meaning cheating on my wife, which sucks balls. Sure, the sex part gets less important later, but never unimportant. There are too many cheaters out there just because their sex appetites are not sated (and they thought they will cope with it or that it will work out).

Originally Posted by ACt View Post
If someone wants to wait, I'm prefectly ok if they tell me a magic man tells them to. It doesn't affect me. If someone tells me their magic man tells me that I should wait when I don't want to and my partner is willing, THAT'S when you get to call them crazy. Atheists need to accept that people are going to believe in god and so long as it doesn't impact their lives, they can stop calling people stupid.
But it does affect you. If a chick tells me that the said magic man wants her to wait until marriage, I can respect that, but I cannot stay in a relationship because it affects my perception of a relationship. I don't care if the girl is an atheist or a believer; she can be whatever she wants, but if we don't talk things out to the best of both of our interests, then too bad.

Originally Posted by Mibs
I don't understand the sexual compatibility thing they were talking about. Like, if a chick is wife material then I probably find her pretty damn hawt and non-bitchy and shit. I can't imagine a situation where when I go to bang her she'll be so horrible at it that there is no hope of me ever enjoying banging her. If she's doing something crazy stupid like axe kicking my ballsack or something...I'll just tell her to stop. She'd have to have a vagoo full of razor sharp fangs or something. But even then, I dunno. I could probably even live with that. It'd be like battling a kraken with my dong. It'd be like she married me because she knew I was the only dude bad ass enough to be able to bang her. Fucking awesome.
But there is such a thing as sexual compatibility. I learned that the hard way (just like everything else), as I am sure you did, too.

You can think at first that the chick is wife material, but as the relationship progresses, things change. For example, she was super happy in the first 4-7 months, never bitched about a thing and loved everything about you. Then, for example, comes a period where you spend much more time with her then you did before. She appears bitchy, completely unorganized and whimsy (like my woman atm, which I somehow cope with, for now), blames everything on you, can't say sorry even when proved wrong, etc etc, and nothing of that did you even get a glimpse of before.

The same thing goes for sex, too, so it's important to check all grounds before going to the altar. At first it can be weird or it can be great. If weird, sort it out by talking or by sexing a lot. If it can't be sorted out than you already got a problem which would be kind of a big deal if you already married this woman. If great, keep it up, it can be a big boost for your relationship, but still keep your head up, things can turn after just a few months and she could be riding her dildo or neighbor more than your dick. Edit: see what I told ACt about her being a mannequin and shit. Stuff like that.

The point is, my stance is that you should try everything with that person before deciding to take them to the altar. That includes everything about sex, picnics, nights out and living together.

Last edited by Shrike; 08-10-2012 at 08:52 PM.
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