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Old 08-11-2012, 02:28 PM   #15069
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Shrike - a lot of my response was pretty much to refute the "Jerk"'s stance that if you don't have sex before marriage, it won't work out. Ever. End of story. I fully accept that sex is an important part of relationships, but to go out and attack someone else's belief that they shouldn't wait because if they do they'll be unhappy later is weak. There is nothing wrong with either approach so long as you maintain some level of integrity with yourself.

I'm mostly with you - I enjoy sex and wanted a sexually healthy portion of a relationship from the get go (even if I had to wait a bit for it). Which was the final paragraph and what makes "Jerk"'s argument really one of a shithead: he went out of his way to tell the girl she's an idiot for believing the way she does. More than one route to happiness that we cannot say "no, this is the only way." I get that you wouldn't probably enter into a longterm relationship with someone who says "wait until we're married", and that's fine, no one is forcing you to. What I was saying is that it was an idiotic statement to say that its wrong. That's her belief and she's welcome to it. It doesn't affect me, so I can support it.

I do sort of believe that people who want to wait are either "super duper religious that I might get ostracized or stoned" or "I'm just not ready". The former usually comes with a lot of extra issues, like fanatical parents, but has matches within the religion so not unfeasible. What gets me is the "I'm just not ready" really seems incompatible with today's society and there is lots of pressure, as the girl says, "to give it up on the 3rd date". It's insane and to attack her and her religion, even when I don't agree with it, is just the sort of sex centric and male-driven attitudes that do more harm than good when it comes to relationships, in my opinion.

The part of "physical attraction" was in a sense just a comment that I find people who want to wait but find themselves in a relationship in which they want to have sex, they usually do and just don't tell anyone. Yeah, there's still stuff to work out in a sex life (there always is), but if there is attraction, two honest people will figure out how sex fits into their lives. For some, it's hop into bed and fuck like bunnies. For others, it's "wait until I'm ready". Both are fine.

And I don't know what's wrong with you fools. I only have ever been with one girl who I felt was wife material and married her. Shit was simple. (Note: my love life was pretty pathetic before her.)
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