Join Date: May 2011
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!
So guys, as i promised, i will post here the first part of my new work. But i have to give you a warning. It's not related to Naruto or any of my previous fanfics. Even though you will find some similarities regarding the names and some locations, it's a completly new, different fanfiction. I made it small, so you could give me an opinion first. If it's not much of a bother, please read it and hit me with everything you got, because i really need opinions.
Chapter one: The Begining.
Rome. Curia of Pompei. 15 march. 44 BC.
The scene shows a man walking on a street. He is wearing the nobility's clothes and he has long brown hair. It's night. Suddenly, from a corner, another man appears. He is dressed entirely in red. The first one stops.
The man dressed in red: It is done?
First man: Aye. I did it myself. He is dead. I stabbed him with my own dagger.
The man dressed in red: Good. Here is your payment.
He hands the first man a bag filled with gold.
The first man: May i know your name before you leave?
The man dressed in red: You may not. Just one question. What were his final words?
The first man smiles: E tu...Brutus?
Europe. 2012. October.
The scene shows an amphitheatre, filled with students, somewhere in Europe. Everyone is waiting for the teacher to show up and start the presentation. The panel is focused on the third row. A young man is sitting next to a young woman. He is quite tall, with black hair, brown piercing eyes and a funny demenour. He is laughing with the girl next to him. She is quite beatiful, with long chestnut colored hair, and brown eyes. She is amused by the jokes told to her by the young man. Next to them is another young man with curly short brown hair. Suddenly the door is opened. The teacher enters the room and one hundred twenty students remain speechless. Blood is slowly staining the teacher's white shirt. As he makes one more step, his eyes goes white and he falls down on the ground. Dead. Everyone stares shocked at the scene. The teacher has a sword impaled into his back. Behind his corpse, four men appear. All of them are tall, and wearing long black robes. Two of them are sporting a short blonde hair, one of the has black hair and the most interesting one is the last man. He has long vibrant red hair, an eyepatch covering his left eye, and piercing purple eyes. He is smoking a cigar. He goes next to the teacher and takes out the blade impaled in the man. The expressions on each student's face is a mixture between shock and fear. All of them but one.
The man with the red hair turns around and looks at the other three that are with him.
Red-haired man: Search for them.
The three men are looking around the amphitheatre and soon their eyes stop on the young woman and the man with curly hair.
The one with black hair turns around and looks at the red headed one.
Black-haired man: Lord Asclose. There they are. I have found them. The young man with curly brown hair and the girl next to him. Third row.
Asclose turns his head and looks at the two mentioned. Everyone, including the duo is freaked out by his gaze. Except one. The young man with black hair, sitting next to the pointed woman is calm. His demenour changed drastically. He went from being carefree and joyful to a menacing, serious and focused presence.
Asclose: Those two? Bring them down here!
The young woman tries to run, but the man with black hair catches her hand.
Young man: Stay down Arinasa. And don't panic. He cannot...they cannot reach you as long as I am here. I promise you!
Arinasa calms down a bit, impressed by Claude's calm state.
Arinasa thinking: What's with this feeling? His mere words paralyzed me! I feel like...he can really deal with those guys! But...
Arinasa: Are you insane Claude?!? He wants something from me! Let me go!
Claude with a menacing tone: I thought that i told you to sit down. Don't worry. Let me handle this.
The other young man, the one with the curly hair looks at Claude and speaks: Do you really think that you can handle them?!? Are you nuts!?!
Claude smiles: Come on Max. I told you...as long as i am here, they won't lay a finger on you guys.
Suddenly Asclose spots Claude.
Asclose: I think that i have lost my hearing. Did you just said that you can handle us, and that we shall not lay a finger on them?!?
Claude turns his attention towards Asclose.
Claude: That's exactly what i said. Do you have a problem with it, Asclose?
Asclose: Such impertinence. How do you dare to call me like that?
Claude smiles: Come on, Asclose. What's the matter? I cannot call you Lord, because you're not my Lord. Also, my statement was entirely correct. You won't get your chance at killing Max and Arinasa as long as i am here.
Asclose: You amuse me. What makes you think that we are here to kill them?
Claude: Don't take me for a fool. You're here because of the prophecy. You are here to make sure that your master shall rise again without anyone to stand against him.
Asclose shocked: Who...who are you?!?
Claude smiles menacing: I am...nobody. And yet i represent a threat for the four of you. If you want to deal with me, i must warn you that not even one of you will make out of this room alive. I will kill every single one of you. Instantly. Got it?
Asclose stars laughing and at the same moment both Max and Arinasa vanish from his side and land in the middle of the amphitheatre. They are both held by Asclose's henchmen.
Asclose: Fool. Do you really belive that a mere human can hurt us? We shall decapitate both of them!
Claude smiles and throws another menacing glare at Asclose.
Claude: You're an idiot, Asclose. Let me say this: if one blade is near them, i will sever the hand that is holding it. I just hope that you won't make such a mistake. Are we clear?
Asclose smiles and waves his hand towards the white-haired man.
Asclose: Jaganath...kill the woman!
Jaganath takes out his sword and approaches the woman, preparing to strike her.
Claude is shown smiling, but his eyes gave him away. The look that he has, is deadly.
Jaganath makes a large swing and slashes towards Arinasa's neck. Moments before the sword cuts her neck, three distinct souns are heard. Arinasa's scream. A blade hitting something. And the sound of metal cutting through flesh. Also, a powerful wind blow appears inside the amphitheatre.
The scene shows a disturbing picture. Arinasa is crouched. A man is standing right in front of her. The man stoped the blade that was aimed for her throat with his finger. Jaganath is shown. His chest was slashed and his arm from the shoulder down, got severed. The scene shows Claude, adopting a menacing posture. He appeared in an instant in front of Arinasa and slashed Jaganath. Claude sports his own sword. But a much more elegant version than the four men have. His sword has an elegant gold hilt, with a lightning shaped guard and straight blade. At the top of the hilt, an eagle's head is present. His pose is a dominant one, but his eyes are the one's that are scary. He has an angry glare. And yet he is still smiling.
Claude: I told you...
Asclose shocked: Who are you?!?
Claude: Just a moment, please...
He turns around and helps a confused Arinasa to get up.
Claude: Are you OK, love?
Claude: Excellent. Now, please, stay behind me. It will all be over in a matter of moments.
Asclose shouts as he takes out his sword: I asked who the hell are you!?!
Claude turns around and looks at Asclose. The man, scared makes a few steps back as he meets Claude's eyes.
Claude: You want to know my real name? Ok...i think that i should tell you my name...as a final courtesy...before i kill you...you should know that i'm also a Lord...
Asclose: Before you kill me?!? A Lord?!?
Claude with a serious, mrnacing tone: I had many names during the last 10.000 years. The mankind gave me many names. But i'm known among the Lords as Vishnu...founder and the First Ruler of the Celest City, Dark General and main character in the Prophecy!
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Last edited by Vishnu; 10-19-2012 at 03:05 PM.