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Old 12-19-2012, 04:14 PM   #1351
jekyl_hyde
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narut0360 View Post
First off, Congrats on the Baby Boy!! & lets hope he is more Dr. Jekyl in him than Mr. Hyde lol.... But I'm getting off topic, So Again Congrats!
I want him to have some hyde in him, so he can take care of his big sister if I can't for whatever reason.

Quote:
Secondly, Its good to be back but as you pointed out I'm a little rusty at being unpredictable, but once i get back into a groove which i hope to be soon i think i will be back to normal.

Finally, can you clarify or highlight what you want me to be more descriptive about in the previous chapter so i can see my error and improve my writing for my continuation, it would be a great help..... But only if you have time.

Thank you for your comments and again Congrats!!
The vision on the moon's face that Hinata is seeing. That's a great closing moment for a scene/chapter. Be a bit more descriptive about that. It will add to and clarify the emotion of the character witnessing it (in this case, Hinata).

Remember, there is a huge difference in foreshadowing and being completely predictable.
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