Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28
I only read like Half of all that.
I may be the only woman in the world who does this, but i ALWAYS make my intentions for a relationship (friendship or other wise) completely clear after like... two or three conversations, if not the first one. It seriously shouldn't take much longer than that for any woman to know if they are attracted to a dude.
Ladies should know by now that letting a guy do sweet things for you and go to dinner with you is gonna make him expect something she's not looking for or willing to do (sex or a relationship. some dudes just want a relationship)
I'm gonna say that this is mostly the ladies fault.
I think woman need to be straight up like right at the beginning and, for the love of all that is good(!), DO NOT LET HIM PAY FOR ANYTHING! That is called LEADING HIM ON.
Nothing aggravates me more than girls who let dudes they are not interested in pay for shit for them, then whine "I don't know where he got the idea that i might date/bed him, or that those outings were dates."
Guys could also help the situation by, once they recognize that they are interested in the girl, being deliberate and upfront.
If he's just looking to sleep with her then I think "friendzone" doesn't actually apply, as he's not interested in being her friend, so now the relationship is simply terminated.
On the other hand, if you start to have feelings for a long time friend, 100% of the time you should ask if they wanna date you. Why? most people wont because they are afraid of "Risking the friendship." guess what: That friendship is already changed! You've exchanged it for the sentiments that are there now, and you can never go back to what you had before, even if you never confess to your friend.
TL;DR: I've always firmly believed in being upfront about any feelings you may have, boy or girl, (including while you're in a relationship, always tell your significant other if you are unhappy or pleased right away so you can work through the bad together and build a strong relationship... but I digress) and i think that would really help to put a stop to the ridiculous friends zone bitching.