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Old 03-04-2007, 10:22 PM   #1
Code
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There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

Here are several answers to the popular question:
Why did the chicken cross the road?


KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good of man.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

OSAMA BIN LADEN: That chicken knew nothing of its mission (ha ha ha) only that it would be a martyr.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and uccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

BILL CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.

L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

FRIENDS: It's really none of our business what the chicken decides to do. :/

GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on the run!

Last edited by Code; 03-04-2007 at 10:23 PM.
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Old 03-04-2007, 10:26 PM   #2
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

The Osama, Saddam, Colonel Sanders, and Bush reasons made me lol.
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Old 03-04-2007, 10:57 PM   #3
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

I really lol'd at the colonel sanders one, but the Hemingway and Gates ones made me lol too.
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Old 03-04-2007, 11:33 PM   #4
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

Quote:
Originally Posted by Code View Post
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on the run!
By far the two greatest ones. I <3 Einstein.

Last edited by Mal; 03-05-2007 at 10:09 PM.
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Old 03-05-2007, 03:19 PM   #5
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

Oh, wow. I actually enjoy this thread thoroughly.
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Old 03-05-2007, 10:29 PM   #6
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

ANDERSEN CONSULTING
^ too fuking long x.x.......the chicken crossed the road to get away from ANDERSEN CONSULTING >.>.....

anywho nice post lol
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Old 03-06-2007, 01:59 AM   #7
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

Quote:
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

BILL CLINTON: I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.

L.A.P.D.: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
hahahahhahahhaha

Quote:
GEORGE W. BUSH: The chicken crossed the road because he was an evil-doer, and we smoked him out of his hole and got him on the run!
i wish to die laughing....... wish granted.....xD
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Old 03-06-2007, 03:11 AM   #8
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

I say lololololololollololololol

hahahhaha. my stomach burst open....
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Old 05-18-2007, 05:39 PM   #9
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

NO YOU ARE ALL WRONG!! you see, the chicken crossed the road, beacause the bacon people of Nygarzon-5 (1594th planet) were on the same side of the road as the chicken, which is a DIRECT violation of the Neptunian concil code dated Crubemary 56th 3265.
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Old 05-18-2007, 05:48 PM   #10
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dhiz Kanichioko View Post
NO YOU ARE ALL WRONG!! you see, the chicken crossed the road, beacause the bacon people of Nygarzon-5 (1594th planet) were on the same side of the road as the chicken, which is a DIRECT violation of the Neptunian concil code dated Crubemary 56th 3265.
Ohmygod, you're so random, it's crazy, it's like, we totally don't know what you'll say, you're really different and making a cool name for yourself, it's always a party with you!

Not funny. Quiet.
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Old 05-18-2007, 06:15 PM   #11
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dhiz Kanichioko View Post
NO YOU ARE ALL WRONG!! you see, the chicken crossed the road, beacause the bacon people of Nygarzon-5 (1594th planet) were on the same side of the road as the chicken, which is a DIRECT violation of the Neptunian concil code dated Crubemary 56th 3265.
No one likes you. In here, or in real life. Get out.
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Old 05-19-2007, 12:44 PM   #12
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

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Originally Posted by Ninja48 View Post
No one likes you. In here, or in real life. Get out.
too harsh but true
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Old 05-18-2007, 06:20 PM   #13
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dhiz Kanichioko View Post
NO YOU ARE ALL WRONG!! you see, the chicken crossed the road, beacause the bacon people of Nygarzon-5 (1594th planet) were on the same side of the road as the chicken, which is a DIRECT violation of the Neptunian concil code dated Crubemary 56th 3265.
I may kill you tonight.
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Old 05-18-2007, 06:22 PM   #14
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dhiz Kanichioko View Post
NO YOU ARE ALL WRONG!! you see, the chicken crossed the road, beacause the bacon people of Nygarzon-5 (1594th planet) were on the same side of the road as the chicken, which is a DIRECT violation of the Neptunian concil code dated Crubemary 56th 3265.


anyway i never saw this thread,and it rocks. i love the buddha one


And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. > life

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Old 05-18-2007, 06:00 PM   #15
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Re: There is no definite answer to why the chicken crossed the road

I agree with Jaxon

also this is a VERY old thread, from like last month
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