Should parents be in control of a child's future? - Fandom Forums
Fandom Forums



Go Back   Fandom Forums > Indepth Interests > Debates Section

Debates Section Enjoy a good discussion? This is the place for you! Only knowledgeable discussions allowed!

View Poll Results: Should parents be in control of child's future carreer?
I agree that parents should make the decisions 1 2.78%
I think the kids should make the decisions 8 22.22%
I'm half and half...... 27 75.00%
Voters: 36. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-27-2007, 06:51 PM   #1
sheik
S-Ranked Shinobi
 
sheik's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: on the planet earth in the good ol USA
Age: 23
Posts: 2,696
Thanks: 315
Thanked 20 Times in 11 Posts
sheik will become famous soon enoughsheik will become famous soon enoughsheik will become famous soon enough
Should parents be in control of a child's future?

I have noticed lately there have been few topics in the debate section and good topics are harder to find. Most threads have been on issues that we tend to be a bit one sided so I wanted to throw this.

Should Parents be in control of a child's future?

What do you think it should be like?

If you want to do a low paying job but your parents want you to better yourself, should the parents prevent you of making the choice and the parents stop you because they believe you will regret it and it will ruin your life....(i.e. pornstar, etc...)

or

If your parents want you to be a doctor but you always had a passion for cars and fixing them, should you follow your dream? Should they be in control of what you wanna do?
__________________

What happened to Typhoon_4434?
made by rasenganfox


Last edited by sheik; 03-27-2007 at 06:53 PM.
sheik is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2007, 07:12 PM   #2
DarkAztek
Sand Man
 
DarkAztek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 31
Posts: 3,324
Thanks: 64
Thanked 582 Times in 189 Posts
DarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to all
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

Until the age of 18, parents can do (and should be able to do) quite a bit to their kids. If a kid wants a job, it isn't any kind of abuse for a parent to not allow them to work there.

However, once you're 18, your parents cannot force you to do ANYTHING. The problem that goes hand in hand with that is that you probably won't get any support from your parents unless you bend to their wishes.

That may or may not make them bad parents depending upon the circumstances.
__________________
[CENTER]
Nam Myōhō Renge Kyō[/CENTER]
[CENTER]
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/HookerBodyShots/shark.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER]

[center][b]Filler content[/b][/center]
DarkAztek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2007, 08:03 PM   #3
LonelyNinja
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

Like DA said, up until 18 the parents should be able to do what they want to their kids. However, I don't think parents should set the kid's future life in stone. What I mean is that parents shouldn't have control over what college or job their kid is going to have when they're older. If the kid is 8 then the parents shouldn't be trying to get him to work as a politcian or send him off to Yale unless he wants to.
  Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2007, 08:36 PM   #4
Genjutsu Genius
Chuunin
 
Genjutsu Genius's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: In a flower field! Somewhere over that rainboww!! =]
Age: 19
Posts: 491
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Genjutsu Genius is on a distinguished roadGenjutsu Genius is on a distinguished road
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

The child should equaly control what they do, and parents should monitor them, and if need be, change what they do.
__________________

Fanclubs: [Haruno Sakura, Final Fantasy]**♥

I made my siggy and my avvy! Shuddap, I know I suck!
Flowers!
Genjutsu Genius is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-27-2007, 10:01 PM   #5
MikeyM1979
Hokage
 
MikeyM1979's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: New York
Age: 34
Posts: 6,907
Thanks: 15
Thanked 604 Times in 577 Posts
MikeyM1979 has much to be proud ofMikeyM1979 has much to be proud ofMikeyM1979 has much to be proud ofMikeyM1979 has much to be proud ofMikeyM1979 has much to be proud ofMikeyM1979 has much to be proud ofMikeyM1979 has much to be proud ofMikeyM1979 has much to be proud ofMikeyM1979 has much to be proud ofMikeyM1979 has much to be proud ofMikeyM1979 has much to be proud of
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

In certain ways, yes, a parent should be there to control things. Early on. Later on, a parent should be there to guide the person and support them. Parents in control later on will just end up with kids who rebel a lot. Later on, they should help influence, not control the son/daughter.
MikeyM1979 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2007, 01:06 AM   #6
kluang
One Punch Man
 
kluang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 6,404
Thanks: 3,166
Thanked 4,595 Times in 2,087 Posts
kluang is a splendid one to beholdkluang is a splendid one to beholdkluang is a splendid one to beholdkluang is a splendid one to beholdkluang is a splendid one to beholdkluang is a splendid one to beholdkluang is a splendid one to beholdkluang is a splendid one to beholdkluang is a splendid one to beholdkluang is a splendid one to beholdkluang is a splendid one to behold
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

I believe parents should guide when their kids is 18-19.
Lower then 18 they should talk of why they want their kids to do this. Let them understand. Don't force on the kids. They the one that will pick your old folks home though.
__________________









To err is human, to forgive, divine. Humans aren't machines... they have souls, feelings. They live, they die, they love, they hate... And yes, they even make mistakes.....

When kluang finds you creepy and wrong then you are beyond horrible.

He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe.



Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Being Malaysian is about driving in a German car to an Indian restaurant for an Indonesian food, then travelling home, grabbing a Pakistani kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. Because we have no originality.






kluang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2007, 01:16 AM   #7
cursesealer
ANBU
 
cursesealer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: At someplace somewhere with someone that somebody knew
Age: 27
Posts: 1,413
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
cursesealer is a glorious beacon of lightcursesealer is a glorious beacon of lightcursesealer is a glorious beacon of lightcursesealer is a glorious beacon of lightcursesealer is a glorious beacon of lightcursesealer is a glorious beacon of lightcursesealer is a glorious beacon of lightcursesealer is a glorious beacon of lightcursesealer is a glorious beacon of light
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

Parenting is very touchy cuz you want your kids to be free and explore many wonderous things but at the same time if your too open then they'll be either totally corrupted, scarred or dead and if your too strict then the child will be socially and emotionally cut off from everyone and be all hated for. Parents should serve better as 'boundary lines'. They are to let the child roam and stop them when they get to close to danger. Many many parents dont do that and easily f**k up a good future. At least those I know of. Parents need to just help guide children until about 13 then begin to lighten up and by age 18, if the child can show to be a mature, well responsible and smart adult, then it's okay to completely let go of the parental chain and set the child free.
__________________

member of the Akatsuki FC


My apprentice in training: naruto_the_demon_fox


One day, when I have enough money,
I shall buy all of the world's belguim waffles and pancakes.



cursesealer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2007, 12:12 PM   #8
SASUKE GURL
ANBU
 
SASUKE GURL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: eww...whore...=)
Age: 22
Posts: 1,434
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
SASUKE GURL has much to be proud ofSASUKE GURL has much to be proud ofSASUKE GURL has much to be proud ofSASUKE GURL has much to be proud ofSASUKE GURL has much to be proud ofSASUKE GURL has much to be proud ofSASUKE GURL has much to be proud ofSASUKE GURL has much to be proud ofSASUKE GURL has much to be proud ofSASUKE GURL has much to be proud ofSASUKE GURL has much to be proud of
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

half half
children should be control cuz well..its their life and they choose their own path
and parents just help them choose it...they guide you....thats what i think...i dont kno
SASUKE GURL is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2007, 02:46 PM   #9
Vanity
Succumb
 
Vanity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 928
Thanks: 3,426
Thanked 5,991 Times in 2,240 Posts
Vanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really nice
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

I agree a lot with Lily. While I’d like to say parents should be “guides”, that doesn’t quite put it in it’s right context. Guides((of a sort)) can only tell a child what is wrong and right, but something more has to discipline them and be firm when they have done something that is wrong.

I believe a parent should have a large sway on a child’s morals and upbringing, and should be fairly strict with rules and such, but that should lighten up as they mature ((not get older, mature)). Habits and personality traits are developed when we are children, so that is when one should try and help mold them.

Some would argue that parents would be making little copies of themselves in that case. I suppose they’re right. But if a parents does not teach their child, society and what they see will. Even if one does not teach and shape, they will look at your actions. Sometimes, children need to listen to what we((speaking from a parents point of view)) say and grow from that, not what we do.

She also made the point hat sometimes, what parents teach children is not always going to be what determines their outcome. While yes, a good parent could raise a bad person, a bad parent could also raise a very good child. It’s more or less about the child’s ability to learn, and grow as a person.
__________________
My nerves are bad to-night.
Yes, bad.
Stay with me.
Speak to me.
Why do you never speak?
Speak.
What are you thinking of?
What thinking?
What?

I never know what you are thinking.
Think.
Vanity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2007, 05:06 PM   #10
DarkAztek
Sand Man
 
DarkAztek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Age: 31
Posts: 3,324
Thanks: 64
Thanked 582 Times in 189 Posts
DarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to allDarkAztek is a name known to all
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

Basically we're arguing over whether or not a parent should be permissive, authoritarian, or authoritative.

The fact of the matter is that a parent CANNOT just be a guide. That's more like a friend than anything else. A parent's job is to raise you, not to mollycoddle you or to do shit like what some of you are talking about. Lemme quote an interesting article I that I read:

Quote:
Arguably one of the most, if not the most important aspect of a growing child’s life is the presence (or lack there of) of their parents. There are many different types of parenting styles. There is no set type of parent but rather a continuum with punctuated qualities in parenting style. Three parenting styles that have been identified by multiple investigators include authoritarian parents, permissive parents and authoritative parents. Authoritarian parents establish rules and expect the obedience of their children. Authoritarian parents tend to be the strictest of all three styles. Children with such parents will often hear phrases such as “Because I said so” “I’m your mother/father, that’s why” and “if you don’t ______ you’ll be grounded”. Parents who value their children’s unwavering obedience above all else, would most likely chose the authoritarian style because it might have that desired effect (Meyers, 2003). Permissive Parents on the other hand are almost the opposite. Permissive parents ask little of their children, tend to punish infrequently and often appease their children by submitting to their wants and desires. (Meyers, 2003). In this type of relationship, children have a large amount of freedom as their parents are much more liberal with rule making, if any rules are established at all. Examples of living with permissive parents might be having a very late curfew or little to no household chores. Authoritative parents are a combination of authoritarian and permissive. They make demands of their children, but they are also open to discussion. When setting rules and limitations for their children, they explain the reasoning behind those rules. Authoritative parents encourage discussion with their children and are more flexible with rule making, sometimes allowing exceptions. For example, “You can stay out an hour later than your regular curfew because you did all of your homework and chores” (Meyers, 2003). These three types of parenting styles can be compared to that of the hardness of the beds in the Goldilocks and the Three Bears fairy tale; too hard, too soft and just right. As we know, correlation is not causation, however, studies have shown that most often, children with the highest self-esteem and social competence tend to have authoritative parents. According to Meyer, the correlation between social competence and authoritative parenting can possibly be explained in three ways; 1. children’s social capability influences parenting, 2, parenting influences children’s social capability, or 3. there may be an underlying third factor that influences both (2003). When parents are open to discussion, understanding and reasonable with their children it makes for a better relationship. When parents are consistent with the rules they establish and subsequent consequences to actions are predictable, children feel as though they control the outcome (Meyers, 2003).

Although parents play a key role in the lives of their adolescent children, adolescents are looking to establish their own identities; to become individuals. The transition from dependent child to assertive and independent teenager however is a gradual process. Adolescence is usually a time during which children argue with their parents often, not necessarily about large scale issues but more mundane things such as chores, school work and bedtime (Tesser and others, 1989 as cited in Meyer, 2003). As children mature from adolescence to adulthood, the emotional links between parents and their children begins to losen a bit. Teens will go through many stages and emotions, such as resentment, anger, frustration and rebellion. Throughout this period though, most arguments are not destructive, with few parent/adolescent relationships ending in serious rifts (Meyers, 2003). The adolescent parent relationship can most often be viewed as a bell curve. Two experimenters Frank (1998) and White (1983) noted that “During their early twenties, many still lean heavily on their parents. By their late twenties, most feel more comfortably independent of their parents and better able to empathize with them as fellow adults” (as cited in Meyers, 2003). The movement from adolescence to adulthood seems to have increased over the years. Possible reasons for this include the longer amount of time adolescence spend earning higher education and are therefore are financially dependent on their parents for longer, the subsequent delay in career choice and the increase in the age of marriage (Meyers, 2003).


20 bucks says that nobody but Miburo will read any of that.
__________________
[CENTER]
Nam Myōhō Renge Kyō[/CENTER]
[CENTER]
[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v293/HookerBodyShots/shark.jpg[/IMG][/CENTER]

[center][b]Filler content[/b][/center]
DarkAztek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2007, 05:18 PM   #11
Jaxon
CHEEKI BREEKI
 
Jaxon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,393
Thanks: 3,584
Thanked 12,472 Times in 3,664 Posts
Jaxon is a splendid one to beholdJaxon is a splendid one to beholdJaxon is a splendid one to beholdJaxon is a splendid one to beholdJaxon is a splendid one to beholdJaxon is a splendid one to beholdJaxon is a splendid one to beholdJaxon is a splendid one to beholdJaxon is a splendid one to beholdJaxon is a splendid one to beholdJaxon is a splendid one to behold
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAztek View Post
20 bucks says that nobody but Miburo will read any of that.
I read it all, before I even saw that little note =P

Where'd you find that article? It's good.

Anyway, that pretty much sums up what you should think if you have an unbiased viewpoint and some common sense, IMO. In theory, you get all the plus points of hardline and liberal parenting, but without the drawbacks, like a lack of respect or a submissive personality.
Jaxon is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2007, 06:01 PM   #12
Vanity
Succumb
 
Vanity's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 928
Thanks: 3,426
Thanked 5,991 Times in 2,240 Posts
Vanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really niceVanity is just really nice
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAztek View Post
Basically we're arguing over whether or not a parent should be permissive, authoritarian, or authoritative.

The fact of the matter is that a parent CANNOT just be a guide. That's more like a friend than anything else. A parent's job is to raise you, not to mollycoddle you or to do shit like what some of you are talking about. Lemme quote an interesting article I that I read:
That's why I said they're more than guide =P Children need to be raised, they have enough friends.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAztek View Post
20 bucks says that nobody but Miburo will read any of that.
I read the whole thing =P It's a good article.
__________________
My nerves are bad to-night.
Yes, bad.
Stay with me.
Speak to me.
Why do you never speak?
Speak.
What are you thinking of?
What thinking?
What?

I never know what you are thinking.
Think.
Vanity is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2007, 05:09 PM   #13
shadowclone
Genbu
 
shadowclone's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ebon Hawk
Age: 26
Posts: 2,568
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
shadowclone is just really niceshadowclone is just really niceshadowclone is just really niceshadowclone is just really niceshadowclone is just really niceshadowclone is just really niceshadowclone is just really nice
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

^^^you are correct my friend.


i didnt even bother to read it but your comment will suffice. i absolutely agree with a parent's job is to raise you and not to patronise you. =P
__________________
Video cards used to have way cooler names. Now they read like Star Wars robots. – Mark Wilson

So true.

shadowclone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2007, 05:47 PM   #14
D4rKR34v3r
ANBU
 
D4rKR34v3r's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Wow, if you are reading this stop trying to stalk me
Age: 20
Posts: 1,589
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
D4rKR34v3r has much to be proud ofD4rKR34v3r has much to be proud ofD4rKR34v3r has much to be proud ofD4rKR34v3r has much to be proud ofD4rKR34v3r has much to be proud ofD4rKR34v3r has much to be proud ofD4rKR34v3r has much to be proud ofD4rKR34v3r has much to be proud ofD4rKR34v3r has much to be proud ofD4rKR34v3r has much to be proud ofD4rKR34v3r has much to be proud of
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

Half and Half. They can help guide us when we are younger and do not know crap. But what they cannot do is deny us from being something we want, like Artist, Computer Technician, or Trucker. They can't do that. We control our future, but parents can help us if we make the wrong decision until we get old enough to understand what we truly want. You parents Shouldn't want you to be a doctor if you want to be a mechanic, or truck driver. It should be about what your passion is and not the money, because you are going to be working for that Job for a long time, and if they are not Driven, then they will quit and be a bum
__________________
D4rKR34v3r is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-28-2007, 10:36 PM   #15
Miburo
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkAztek View Post
20 bucks says that nobody but Miburo will read any of that.
Lol.

I think DA and Jaxon hit on this pretty well already, but eh. I too feel that, of the three choices, a style which follows closely to an authoritative style of parenting is probably the best way to go.

Laying down rules and guildlines, as well as punishments for breaking or disobeying them and then following through with them, establishes a good foundation for the understanding of consequences and the importance of obedience (And I'm sure a bunch of other things, probably. ^^). While at the same time, explaining the reason why rules are in place and allowing input from the child(ren) shows them that you're fair, just, and understanding...which in turn enhances their trust and respect for you (and others who act reasonably). This way you can be strict without seeming like a tyrant (Or douchebag, or whatever). To me, that just makes a whole hell of a lot of sense.

And I agree with DA (And I guess Vanity to a degree) when they say parents shouldn't be just friends or guides. Yeah, it's good to have a positive relationship with the kiddies, but at the end of the day the parents are in charge and what they say goes. Using a style of parenting similar to that authoritative style should keep a good parent-child relationship together while keeping the little bastards in-line.
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:00 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.