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Old 03-20-2009, 12:09 PM   #1
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wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/h...-200903181648/

POPE Benedict last night claimed that placing a bible over an erect penis before intercourse is the only guaranteed way to prevent the spread of Aids.

May cause chafing
Speaking before his tour of Africa, the Pontiff said Aids could only be tackled by the 'traditional teaching of the church' and not a latex rubber sheath that contains infected semen and prevents it from transferring the virus to another human being.

Experts said that either the Pope is suggesting the bible is used like a condom, or he doesn't know what a condom is.

Dr Emma Bradford, of Reading University, said: "I guess you would have to rip out a few pages of Leviticus and then somehow fashion them into a condom-like device using lots and lots of masking tape.

"Or you could shred the pages, soak them in water and construct something that looks a bit like a paper maché cigar tube."

Dr Bradford added: "It has to be one of those two because suggesting that the African Aids epidemic can be contained simply by reading the bible would be criminally insane."

Since his inauguration in 2005 the Pope has continued the Church's strong opposition to condoms by calling for abstinence, supervised heavy petting and whacking it repeatedly with a wooden spoon until it goes all soft again.

Meanwhile the Vatican has issued this year's list of approved non-penetrative carnal techniques including pearl necklaces, light genital branding and something called 'Dutch steamboating'.

also:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009...a-condoms-aids

wtf is with this guy?
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:18 PM   #2
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

Well... he is the pope. I mean, can't get much more retarded than that. He believes in talking snakes and shit.
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:32 PM   #3
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

I guess I'd skeet on my bible too if I had one.
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:35 PM   #4
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

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Well... he is the pope. I mean, can't get much more retarded than that. He believes in talking snakes and shit.
retarded is way to small to describe this
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Old 03-20-2009, 12:52 PM   #5
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

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POPE Benedict last night claimed that placing a bible over an erect penis before intercourse is the only guaranteed way to prevent the spread of Aids.
Well durrrr God totally approves of fornication if you slap your dong around with The Word a bit.
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Old 03-21-2009, 10:05 PM   #6
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

And if you don't want to get her pregnant, milk it and the little dudes will not suffer so much.
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Old 03-21-2009, 11:48 PM   #7
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

Lol, if that doesnt work, just go to page 12 and skull fuck judas to get rid of herpes!
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Old 03-22-2009, 12:06 AM   #8
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

They should little Bible condoms with random sex-related scriptures. I buy one if they made one say "MISSIONARY SEX ONLY" because I would lulz.
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Old 03-22-2009, 12:58 AM   #9
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

All joking aside, he means that men and women should follow the teachings of the bible. No fornication before marriage and no fooling around with someone else while you are married. I'm not perfect, and I'm by no means a saint. But considering those same doctors who are calling the Pope criminally insane for promoting abstinence also consider the spread of AIDS in Africa an epidemic, maybe a little self control would not be to much to ask from people. If over 70 million people in America had AIDS, rest assured, I would not be looking for any one night stands.
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Old 03-22-2009, 05:50 PM   #10
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

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Originally Posted by emachina View Post
All joking aside, he means that men and women should follow the teachings of the bible. No fornication before marriage and no fooling around with someone else while you are married. I'm not perfect, and I'm by no means a saint. But considering those same doctors who are calling the Pope criminally insane for promoting abstinence also consider the spread of AIDS in Africa an epidemic, maybe a little self control would not be to much to ask from people. If over 70 million people in America had AIDS, rest assured, I would not be looking for any one night stands.
Hurrr, what is rape?

Considering that a good number of countries in Africa are in civil war and basic civil unrest, with almost NO government self control really isn't an issue. I don't think you really understand what it is like over there, I doubt anyone in here does unless they have been there (including me.) But it is not like fucking Miami where you could just go the Roxbury, have a one night stand and be safe. It is more like, a small town being torn up by rebels and having most of the women raped by people who have aids. Not really their fault fuck face.
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Old 03-22-2009, 06:08 PM   #11
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

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Originally Posted by themadness0308 View Post
Hurrr, what is rape?

Considering that a good number of countries in Africa are in civil war and basic civil unrest, with almost NO government self control really isn't an issue. I don't think you really understand what it is like over there, I doubt anyone in here does unless they have been there (including me.) But it is not like fucking Miami where you could just go the Roxbury, have a one night stand and be safe. It is more like, a small town being torn up by rebels and having most of the women raped by people who have aids. Not really their fault fuck face.
I'm always glad when people show their tolerance and open mindedness. I guess I'm free to have an opinion, unless it differs from the majority of those on the internet. However, this article, spoof though it maybe, did not include rape. The Pope's comments, in actuality, were not directed at rape victims. Or those who suffer from bad blood transfusions or anything of the sort. He was talking about the men and women in Africa who are having random sexual encounters.

The population of Africa is 922 million. 60 million people there have HIV or AIDS. That's 15% of the population. So basically, about 1 in 7 people have this disease. The Pope basically said abstinence is the best way to avoid contracting this disease. Holy shit. Common sense. But since it's the Pope, he's a retard, or a dumbshit or whatever other insults you want to throw at the man. But it's common sense.

Do I feel for these people? Yes I do. Is the Pope's message the perfect answer. No it is not. There needs to be more support, more education, better medicine sent in. Basically a huge laundry list of shit that needs to happen before the problems in Africa are solved. But until then, taking every measure one can to help slow the spread of this disease is a course of action that should be taken. Should condoms be made available to Africans, yes. Yes they should. But condoms are not 100% effective in preventing the spread of HIV just as it is not 100% effective for the prevention of a pregnancy. So abstinence is the best course to help reduce the number of new sexually transmitted cases of HIV. Plain and simple.
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Old 03-22-2009, 08:57 PM   #12
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

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But until then, taking every measure one can to help slow the spread of this disease is a course of action that should be taken. Should condoms be made available to Africans, yes. Yes they should.
And the Pope has spoken out against the use of condoms. Which means, yes, he is a fucking dumbass. So before you start talking down to us about being super duper mean and other crybaby shit like that, while at the same time hypocritically trying to insult us with generic fail insults, maybe you should try to know what the hell you're talking about first.

Or keep posting stupid shit while pretending you're smart. Doesn't matter to me.
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Old 03-22-2009, 08:58 PM   #13
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

The only ways I can see a condom not being 100% effective is because of the user's fault. If you leave it on the car all day taking heat, put it in your wallet, or don't even know how to put it on very well or use it well of course it ain't gonna be 100% secure condom. Plus I know idiots that do it with a condom then they finish without one, brilliant. Me I leave it nice and cool on my room, watch the expiration date and if im to far from home then 5 minutes waiting on a pharmacy ain't that much. I treat condoms like altars and thanks to that i am free of being spooked. Plus

Quote:
The population of Africa is 922 million. 60 million people there have HIV or AIDS. That's 15% of the population. So basically, about 1 in 7 people have this disease.
You really don't know how fast and wide a disease without a cure spreads. It is Africa and while the south part of it is very well developed, there will always be idiots on any part of the world. Now the big part of it... thats a different type of setting, civil wars, not much technology, not much education in some it is a gun or agriculture plus the damn disease supposedly came from there. But you can criticize Brasil, now that country really needs education about condoms.
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Old 03-22-2009, 01:46 AM   #14
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

Yeah he's gay
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Old 03-22-2009, 03:03 AM   #15
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Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

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Originally Posted by Freshgrease View Post
They should little Bible condoms with random sex-related scriptures. I buy one if they made one say "MISSIONARY SEX ONLY" because I would lulz.
What would you need condoms for? =D

Quote:
Originally Posted by emachina View Post
All joking aside, he means that men and women should follow the teachings of the bible. No fornication before marriage and no fooling around with someone else while you are married. I'm not perfect, and I'm by no means a saint. But considering those same doctors who are calling the Pope criminally insane for promoting abstinence also consider the spread of AIDS in Africa an epidemic, maybe a little self control would not be to much to ask from people. If over 70 million people in America had AIDS, rest assured, I would not be looking for any one night stands.
Know what else prevents AIDS? Condoms. Condemning them is retarded no matter how you try and smear it. He's a dumbshit. And people who do what dumbshits say aren't that bright either.
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