wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE

popion · 03-20-2009, 12:09 PM

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/h...-200903181648/

POPE Benedict last night claimed that placing a bible over an erect penis before intercourse is the only guaranteed way to prevent the spread of Aids.

May cause chafing
Speaking before his tour of Africa, the Pontiff said Aids could only be tackled by the 'traditional teaching of the church' and not a latex rubber sheath that contains infected semen and prevents it from transferring the virus to another human being.

Experts said that either the Pope is suggesting the bible is used like a condom, or he doesn't know what a condom is.

Dr Emma Bradford, of Reading University, said: "I guess you would have to rip out a few pages of Leviticus and then somehow fashion them into a condom-like device using lots and lots of masking tape.

"Or you could shred the pages, soak them in water and construct something that looks a bit like a paper maché cigar tube."

Dr Bradford added: "It has to be one of those two because suggesting that the African Aids epidemic can be contained simply by reading the bible would be criminally insane."

Since his inauguration in 2005 the Pope has continued the Church's strong opposition to condoms by calling for abstinence, supervised heavy petting and whacking it repeatedly with a wooden spoon until it goes all soft again.

Meanwhile the Vatican has issued this year's list of approved non-penetrative carnal techniques including pearl necklaces, light genital branding and something called 'Dutch steamboating'.

also:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009...a-condoms-aids

wtf is with this guy?

The Madness · 03-20-2009, 12:18 PM

Well... he is the pope. I mean, can't get much more retarded than that. He believes in talking snakes and shit.

Tzu Men · 03-20-2009, 12:32 PM

I guess I'd skeet on my bible too if I had one.

popion · 03-20-2009, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Well... he is the pope. I mean, can't get much more retarded than that. He believes in talking snakes and shit.

retarded is way to small to describe this

Vanity · 03-20-2009, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by popion

POPE Benedict last night claimed that placing a bible over an erect penis before intercourse is the only guaranteed way to prevent the spread of Aids.

Well durrrr God totally approves of fornication if you slap your dong around with The Word a bit.

manta · 03-21-2009, 10:05 PM

And if you don't want to get her pregnant, milk it and the little dudes will not suffer so much.

Konnaha_yellow_flash · 03-21-2009, 11:48 PM

Lol, if that doesnt work, just go to page 12 and skull fuck judas to get rid of herpes!

Freshgrease · 03-22-2009, 12:06 AM

They should little Bible condoms with random sex-related scriptures. I buy one if they made one say "MISSIONARY SEX ONLY" because I would lulz.

emachina · 03-22-2009, 12:58 AM

All joking aside, he means that men and women should follow the teachings of the bible. No fornication before marriage and no fooling around with someone else while you are married. I'm not perfect, and I'm by no means a saint. But considering those same doctors who are calling the Pope criminally insane for promoting abstinence also consider the spread of AIDS in Africa an epidemic, maybe a little self control would not be to much to ask from people. If over 70 million people in America had AIDS, rest assured, I would not be looking for any one night stands.

kluang · 03-22-2009, 01:46 AM

Yeah he's gay

03-22-2009, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freshgrease

They should little Bible condoms with random sex-related scriptures. I buy one if they made one say "MISSIONARY SEX ONLY" because I would lulz.

What would you need condoms for? =D

Quote:

Originally Posted by emachina

All joking aside, he means that men and women should follow the teachings of the bible. No fornication before marriage and no fooling around with someone else while you are married. I'm not perfect, and I'm by no means a saint. But considering those same doctors who are calling the Pope criminally insane for promoting abstinence also consider the spread of AIDS in Africa an epidemic, maybe a little self control would not be to much to ask from people. If over 70 million people in America had AIDS, rest assured, I would not be looking for any one night stands.

Know what else prevents AIDS? Condoms. Condemning them is retarded no matter how you try and smear it. He's a dumbshit. And people who do what dumbshits say aren't that bright either.

RNB · 03-22-2009, 02:30 PM

Song of Songs is one of the best books to jack-off to! It is practically the centerfold of the Bible (strangely it is near the center.)

emachina · 03-22-2009, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miburo

Know what else prevents AIDS? Condoms. Condemning them is retarded no matter how you try and smear it. He's a dumbshit. And people who do what dumbshits say aren't that bright either.

And people who talk big on the internet are usually small dicked basement dwellers.

uchiha-anwar · 03-22-2009, 03:53 PM

So if he stick it up his ass..it will protect him from anal cancer?

/retarded

Jaxon · 03-22-2009, 04:46 PM

You know that's a spoof article right. The pontiff didn't physically suggest using the book itself as a contraceptive.

/facepalm

03-20-2009, 12:09 PM	#1
popion Hunter-Nin Join Date: Jan 2009 Age: 24 Posts: 1,305 Thanks: 0 Thanked 81 Times in 81 Posts	wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/h...-200903181648/ POPE Benedict last night claimed that placing a bible over an erect penis before intercourse is the only guaranteed way to prevent the spread of Aids. May cause chafing Speaking before his tour of Africa, the Pontiff said Aids could only be tackled by the 'traditional teaching of the church' and not a latex rubber sheath that contains infected semen and prevents it from transferring the virus to another human being. Experts said that either the Pope is suggesting the bible is used like a condom, or he doesn't know what a condom is. Dr Emma Bradford, of Reading University, said: "I guess you would have to rip out a few pages of Leviticus and then somehow fashion them into a condom-like device using lots and lots of masking tape. "Or you could shred the pages, soak them in water and construct something that looks a bit like a paper maché cigar tube." Dr Bradford added: "It has to be one of those two because suggesting that the African Aids epidemic can be contained simply by reading the bible would be criminally insane." Since his inauguration in 2005 the Pope has continued the Church's strong opposition to condoms by calling for abstinence, supervised heavy petting and whacking it repeatedly with a wooden spoon until it goes all soft again. Meanwhile the Vatican has issued this year's list of approved non-penetrative carnal techniques including pearl necklaces, light genital branding and something called 'Dutch steamboating'. also: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009...a-condoms-aids wtf is with this guy? __________________ Pretty fly naruto amv

03-20-2009, 12:18 PM	#2
The Madness Passion Rules Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: MA, US Age: 24 Posts: 1,102 Thanks: 2,546 Thanked 4,643 Times in 1,768 Posts	Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE Well... he is the pope. I mean, can't get much more retarded than that. He believes in talking snakes and shit.

03-20-2009, 12:32 PM	#3
Tzu Men hostis humani generis Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 715 Thanks: 4,027 Thanked 2,707 Times in 864 Posts	Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE I guess I'd skeet on my bible too if I had one.

03-21-2009, 10:05 PM	#6
manta No Leaf Clover Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Tropic Age: 26 Posts: 411 Thanks: 1,017 Thanked 1,357 Times in 703 Posts	Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE And if you don't want to get her pregnant, milk it and the little dudes will not suffer so much. __________________

03-22-2009, 12:06 AM	#8
Freshgrease ▂▅▇█▓▒░◕‿‿◕░▒▓█▇▅▂ Join Date: Feb 2005 Age: 25 Posts: 4,112 Thanks: 1,489 Thanked 1,005 Times in 546 Posts	Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE They should little Bible condoms with random sex-related scriptures. I buy one if they made one say "MISSIONARY SEX ONLY" because I would lulz. __________________

03-22-2009, 12:58 AM	#9
emachina Jounin Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 825 Thanks: 449 Thanked 626 Times in 209 Posts	Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE All joking aside, he means that men and women should follow the teachings of the bible. No fornication before marriage and no fooling around with someone else while you are married. I'm not perfect, and I'm by no means a saint. But considering those same doctors who are calling the Pope criminally insane for promoting abstinence also consider the spread of AIDS in Africa an epidemic, maybe a little self control would not be to much to ask from people. If over 70 million people in America had AIDS, rest assured, I would not be looking for any one night stands. __________________ One Piece! Hell Yeah!

03-22-2009, 01:46 AM	#10
kluang One Punch Man Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,426 Thanks: 3,199 Thanked 4,697 Times in 2,110 Posts	Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE Yeah he's gay __________________ To err is human, to forgive, divine. Humans aren't machines... they have souls, feelings. They live, they die, they love, they hate... And yes, they even make mistakes..... When kluang finds you creepy and wrong then you are beyond horrible. He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Being Malaysian is about driving in a German car to an Indian restaurant for an Indonesian food, then travelling home, grabbing a Pakistani kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. Because we have no originality.

03-22-2009, 02:30 PM	#12
RNB El Topo Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Age: 20 Posts: 1,169 Thanks: 3,294 Thanked 1,887 Times in 822 Posts	Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE Song of Songs is one of the best books to jack-off to! It is practically the centerfold of the Bible (strangely it is near the center.) __________________ "Nature loves to be hidden." - Heraclitus

03-22-2009, 03:53 PM	#14
uchiha-anwar Missing-Nin Join Date: May 2008 Age: 26 Posts: 641 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE So if he stick it up his ass..it will protect him from anal cancer? /retarded

03-22-2009, 04:46 PM	#15
Jaxon Groovy. Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,397 Thanks: 3,608 Thanked 12,545 Times in 3,693 Posts	Re: wtf? PUT A BIBLE OVER YOUR PENIS, SAYS POPE You know that's a spoof article right. The pontiff didn't physically suggest using the book itself as a contraceptive. /facepalm

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