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Old 12-21-2009, 09:37 PM   #1
DarkAztek
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Christmas parties

This weekend, snowed-in somewhere in Boston, I went to an epic Christmas party. In a 2 bedroom apartment, a buddy of mine wanted to throw an Ugly Sweater Party. It was fun, we drank and had a ball... And then things got weird.

I'll start with the only thing I actually have photographic evidence of (see attachments): At one point, after an uncounted number of drinks, these 2 guys (who I don't know) convince me it would be a great idea to go to the bathroom together. ...No, not for a BEEJ-train. We climbed up into the crawl space above the shower and began to explore. What did we find? An ugly Christmas sweater.

So of course, we thought that was awesome and decided to be crazy about it. Less than 5 minutes later, I was successfully put up into another equally small crawl-space. I mean, completely. I couldn't get down. I start freaking out and we think we might have to call the fire department to get me down. From this point onward, I have no personal recollection and can only tell you what happened based on what I have been told.

My head apparently found a weak ceiling board and smashed through it. At this point, my right leg is dangling out of the hole I went in and the rest of me is coming out of the new busted hole I created. Best part: It was in a different room. WHAT room? Oh just one of the hosts, currently in the middle of getting some. He stops, freaks out, and pulls me down while cursing me out. I think I might have gotten a concussion.

It is at this point that the neighbors come down. They were also partying upstairs, came down, and merged their 8 person group with our 20-something group. BEST PART: They are between the ages of 65 and mid-to-late-seventies. One of the guys comes over to me after he heard about my excursion and he offers me a blunt which I GLADLY accept.

Literally just as I light that sucker up, there is a knock at the door. The police are not happy and decide to end our little party. The geezer who gave me the weed turns and says, "Eat that fucker!" So of course, being intelligent, I do. There was roughly 5 grams in said blunt.

From here there is a dark space of which nobody really filled me in. I woke up in the morning underneath someone's bed. Mind you, if you eat a shit ton of weed, in about 4-5 hours you will start being retardedly high. I woke up baked out of my mind, head pounding, and underneath some guy's nasty bed... With two people having sex on said bed above me.

I pull myself out and start moaning which causes the couple to FLIP SHIT because they had no idea I was there. I start freaking out because they are freaking out. I stumble out the door, out of the apartment, and proceed right to the train station. I managed to get home from there, in the foot or so of snow, more fucked up than I have been since college. Without a jacket or my ugly sweater.

Freezing my nurples off, I get to my place to discover I had left my keys at the apartment. At this point, I say "fuck it," take a rock, break my window, get inside, and pass out on the couch for 2 more hours.


This is the short version of this story. There was a lot more drinking in between scenes, the damage to the ceiling really wasn't that bad since it was one of those big tile things that can be replaced for about $5 or a piece of cardboard. My window... I just told the landlord some damn kids did it and got it replaced for free.

No worries, everything is fine now... I just live an absolutely retarded life.
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Last edited by DarkAztek; 12-21-2009 at 09:42 PM.
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