The Longest Thread Ever v28 - Page 550

OG · 12-24-2009, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RNB

Basically, I just went to playboy's site, and jacked-off to some Victoria's secret thing. My friend came over ten minutes after. It was weird.

I was scared shitless when it happened. I thought something was wrong. Then I felt guilty because I did it on Christmas, and because I actually did it. I was a Christian at the time so I had that guilt. I have some funny/deranged stories of trying to resist "Satan's power." It is a contributing factor towards my extreme dislike of Christianity/religion. You really are insane, whether or not you act as if you should be in an asylum.

then you should have watched the victoria secret fashion show or clips of it. <.<

funny/deranged stories from rnb about how he was trying to resist "Satan's power?" seems lulzy, tell us sometime XD

Tabris · 12-24-2009, 11:41 PM

I don't like the idea of proving you care for someone by being forced to buy them something on a specific day of the year (Christmas, valentines day, birthdays, anniversaries)
it's not like "oh yeah, i think of you often and got you this"
it's "you're on the list of people i HAVE to buy gifts for, or I'm a terrible person."

I hate that about Christmas
that's why for the past 2 years only Doug has gotten a Christmas present form me
twin sister? nope.
mom and dad? none for them.

Vanity · 12-25-2009, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RNB

Basically, I just went to playboy's site, and jacked-off to some Victoria's secret thing. My friend came over ten minutes after. It was weird.

I was scared shitless when it happened. I thought something was wrong. Then I felt guilty because I did it on Christmas, and because I actually did it. I was a Christian at the time so I had that guilt. I have some funny/deranged stories of trying to resist "Satan's power." It is a contributing factor towards my extreme dislike of Christianity/religion. You really are insane, whether or not you act as if you should be in an asylum.

You're retarded.

jimmer45khb · 12-25-2009, 08:24 AM

Marry Christmas suckers

**Miburo** · 12-25-2009, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RNB

Basically, I just went to playboy's site, and jacked-off to some Victoria's secret thing. My friend came over ten minutes after. It was weird.

I was scared shitless when it happened. I thought something was wrong. Then I felt guilty because I did it on Christmas, and because I actually did it. I was a Christian at the time so I had that guilt. I have some funny/deranged stories of trying to resist "Satan's power." It is a contributing factor towards my extreme dislike of Christianity/religion. You really are insane, whether or not you act as if you should be in an asylum.

lolololololawesome

I had to talk to a nun/psychologist when I was a wee lad in catholic school (because I got into a couple of fights and dumb shit), and I remember her asking about shit like jerking off. I was like nine or ten or some human puppy age like that. I admitted to wacking it a few times. Then she asked me about what I thought about when doing it and shit. Fucking weird. I said my teacher (She was hot). Then she got out this children's book about masturbation and was going through it with me. I remember it saying it's totally cool to jerk off to thoughts of your sisters, cousins, aunts, etc. so long as you're just thinking about it and not actually trying to stick it in any of those people. And god wouldn't hate you or anything.

She was a nun (Read: woman) though, so she obviously didn't know what she was talking about. But still, that's pretty hot that she randomly brought up masturbation with a little kid. She was young and decently attractive too.

I'm going to go look up some nun porn before going to my grandparent's place now. Fuck yeah! Merry Christmas.

OG · 12-25-2009, 01:34 PM

wow. a nun actually said its cool to jerk off to your family. its cool to think sexual thoughts about your family as long as you dont act on them.

LOL.

RNB · 12-25-2009, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OG

then you should have watched the victoria secret fashion show or clips of it. <.<

funny/deranged stories from rnb about how he was trying to resist "Satan's power?" seems lulzy, tell us sometime XD

Well, one time I attached myself to the carpet on the ground and told Satan to flee from me. For ten minutes I tried not* to think about sex. After that I just got up and was like, "Holy shit, I am fucking crazy." Then I went and relieved the stress.

EDIT: *

OG · 12-25-2009, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RNB

Well, one time I attached myself to the carpet on the ground and told Satan to flee from me. For ten minutes I tried to think about sex. After that I just got up and was like, "Holy shit, I am fucking crazy." Then I went and relieved the stress.

sounds to me like you would be an interesting friend to have in that state lol XD

**Miburo** · 12-25-2009, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OG

wow. a nun actually said its cool to jerk off to your family. its cool to think sexual thoughts about your family as long as you dont act on them.

LOL.

Well, the book said it. She was just sorta reading it to me. I don't remember what the book was called, but I'd definitely recognize it if I saw some of the pictures and shit inside it. Couldn't find it with google though. = /

Quote:

Originally Posted by RNB

Well, one time I attached myself to the carpet on the ground and told Satan to flee from me. For ten minutes I tried not* to think about sex. After that I just got up and was like, "Holy shit, I am fucking crazy." Then I went and relieved the stress.

EDIT: *

Whoa.

OG · 12-25-2009, 04:41 PM

this book? <.<

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42fP58EcBuY

Darth-Nero · 12-25-2009, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tom_servo

Your posts kinda reminded me of this fairly amusing vid.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYb3o8irBQM

AVGN aka James Rolfe (Or Rofl) is the shit,Fucking hilarious.

UchihaTaijiya · 12-25-2009, 08:04 PM

RNB that sounds like a minor episode of delusion. Religion may have been the trigger but there could always be a less 'obvious' underlying factor. Get yo' head checked one day.

Or get some friends and jerk that beef ~

8]

Oh and man, I fucking like Christmas.

zer0systm · 12-25-2009, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miburo

Well, the book said it. She was just sorta reading it to me. I don't remember what the book was called, but I'd definitely recognize it if I saw some of the pictures and shit inside it. Couldn't find it with google though. = /

Whoa.

Well it deff's wasn't published in Tasmania, otherwise it would have given you the green light to go your cousin, aunt, mother....

Servo · 12-25-2009, 09:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darth-Nero

AVGN aka James Rolfe (Or Rofl) is the shit,Fucking hilarious.

Yeah man, I can't help but get a kick out of that funny motherfucker. Especially since I played most of those games in my youth that he reviews.

RNB · 12-25-2009, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UchihaTaijiya

RNB that sounds like a minor episode of delusion. Religion may have been the trigger but there could always be a less 'obvious' underlying factor. Get yo' head checked one day.

Well, now that I don't partake in religion I have not had any sort of problem. Really, I don't see how raising your hands and jumping for Jesus is any less crazy than what I did. The only difference is that their picture might look a bit happier than mine. I followed religion as if it was everything. I wasn't legalistic about it. I didn't think I would go to hell if I jacked-off or anything like that. I just thought it was bad and a betrayal to the God who loved me. It is just the perfect example of someone valuing irrationality and thinking that the more irrational you are, the better.

12-24-2009, 11:41 PM	#8237
Tabris Sexy Lady Join Date: May 2005 Location: in a box, out side your house, with binoculars. Posts: 778 Thanks: 5,590 Thanked 4,314 Times in 1,962 Posts	Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28 I don't like the idea of proving you care for someone by being forced to buy them something on a specific day of the year (Christmas, valentines day, birthdays, anniversaries) it's not like "oh yeah, i think of you often and got you this" it's "you're on the list of people i HAVE to buy gifts for, or I'm a terrible person." I hate that about Christmas that's why for the past 2 years only Doug has gotten a Christmas present form me twin sister? nope. mom and dad? none for them. __________________ C&H FTW official co-owner of the digimon fan club!

12-25-2009, 08:24 AM	#8239
jimmer45khb Monkey D Luffy Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: AZ Age: 29 Posts: 624 Thanks: 3 Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts	Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28 Marry Christmas suckers __________________ CO-Owner of The Nine-Tailed Fox Demons fc One Piece FC Final Fantasy FC Proud Owner of Kage FC Member of

12-25-2009, 01:34 PM	#8241
OG [잊지 말아요] Join Date: Aug 2005 Age: 26 Posts: 7,624 Thanks: 2,244 Thanked 4,189 Times in 1,817 Posts	Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28 wow. a nun actually said its cool to jerk off to your family. its cool to think sexual thoughts about your family as long as you dont act on them. LOL.

12-25-2009, 04:41 PM	#8245
OG [잊지 말아요] Join Date: Aug 2005 Age: 26 Posts: 7,624 Thanks: 2,244 Thanked 4,189 Times in 1,817 Posts	Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28 this book? <.< http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42fP58EcBuY

12-25-2009, 08:04 PM	#8247
UchihaTaijiya sublimis ab unda Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 2,777 Thanks: 7,387 Thanked 3,312 Times in 1,249 Posts	Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28 RNB that sounds like a minor episode of delusion. Religion may have been the trigger but there could always be a less 'obvious' underlying factor. Get yo' head checked one day. Or get some friends and jerk that beef ~ 8] Oh and man, I fucking like Christmas. __________________ If the elephants have past lives yet are destined to always remember It's no wonder how they scream Like you and I they must have some temper And I am dreaming of them on the plains Dirtying up their beds Watching for some sign of rain to cool their hot heads And how dare that you send me that card when I'm doing all that I can do You are forcing me to remember when all I want is to just forget you If the tiger shall protect her young then tell me how did you slip by All my instincts have failed me for once I must have somehow slept the whole night And I am dreaming of them with their kill Tearing it all apart Blood dripping from their lips and teeth sinking into heart And how dare that you say you'll call When you know I need some peace of mind If you have to take sides with the animals Won't you do it with one who is kind And if the hawks in the trees need the dead If you're living you don't stand a chance For a time though you share the same bed There are only two ends to this dance You can flee with your wounds just in time or lie there as he feeds Watching yourself ripped to shreds and laughing as you bleed So for those of you falling in love keep it kind Keep it good Keep it right Throw yourself in the midst of danger but keep one eye open at night

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