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Old 05-11-2012, 08:09 PM   #676
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

“The New Class”

Rakia, Eiyuu, And Hiroshi have just been told about the “bell test”.

Naruto and Konohamaru are standing beside each other.

Naruto, “Oh him, don’t worry he is not part of this, see ya lat Konohamaru, lol”

Konohamaru, “later, Ni chan.”

he disappears in a poof of smoke.

Hiroshi heads straight for him, “the future Hokage is coming through!”

Eiyuu, {this is gonna be interesting.}

He jumps out of sight.

Rakia, “you’re an Idiot!”

Naruto, {hmm, okay so it’s gonna be him then?}

Hiroshi trys to challenge him with fists but he can’t land a hit on him.

Hiroshi, “hold still, (hand signs) earth style quakey shakey!”

Naruto, {what? He knows earth element jutsu?!}

The ground shakes where Naruto is standing and puts him off balance.

Hiroshi, “got you now, gimme that bell!”

He reaches for it while Naruto is off balance, when…

“the bell Is mine!”, Eiyuu from behind, tries to tackle Naruto.

Naruto throws down a smoke bomb. To cloud the area.

We see Eiyuu tackle a figure and …

Hiroshi, “got him, that was easy, I don’t need no sensei I already beat the strongest ninja in the village!”

As the smoke clears we see Eiyuu has tackled Rakia and Hiroshi has his foot on her as well.
Eiyuu, “oops, ha ha, uh sorry Rakia, how did you get in this mess anyway?”

Rakia, “this is only the beginning, you have til the sunset.”

She turns back into Naruto then he disperses..

Hiroshi, “ a clone and transformation? When did he do that?!”

Else where we see Rakia walking up to the training grounds, she is meet by Naruto appearing in front of her with a slight flash of dark orange light.

Naruto, “You decided to join the rest of your team? They actually didn’t notice you weren’t there, thanx to me.”

Rakia, “look Uncle Naruto, we both know I am the best Genin here, do I really need to be par t of this silly test?”

Naruto, “I chose you because of your unique character, you could be a great ninja one day, like Dad, but right now. Your just full of yourself. Get there in two minutes or your automatically sent back to the Academy!”

He flashes out.

Later we see an Uzumaki symbol on a sign in town.

We see an older man with short red hair and a Jonin outfit on.

He is seated at a table with other ninja, most have red hair some have black a few have black and red, and at the head of the table is a tall chair with a woman seated. She looks like an older Kushina with red hair and a streak of grey in the front.

A ninja, “Soutoku Keshia, we are very grateful that we have this entire section of the Konoha City built for us, but should we plan to relocate and have our own village again?”

Soutoku Keshia, “Well that is an option, we aren’t here against our will, but this section as you call it is the size of an entire village, we are separated by the Kushina bridge created by Naruto and his friends, the water that runs under it is there only because of his jutsu.”

The other ninja quietly mumble in agreement.

Another Ninja, “I , Narobi Uzumaki want to express as well that we make our own decisions here as well, also we are the designated protectors of the Kurama Seven as well, a great honor.”

Soutoku Keshia, “you are correct, Narobi, but we do share that duty, there are four of our clan and three…”

We see the Uchiha crest displayed on a building. It is also sectioned off form the village bu tthere are many different pathways connecting to different parts of Konoha City. Some are dressed in there Konoha police garb walking around. Instead of a Uzumaki symbol on there backs they have the Uchiha crest.

Now inside a building we see 8 ninja standing, all in different variations of Uchiha clothing and Jonin vests.

Ninja, “where are they?’

Kabutachi walks in and the others kneel, he glances at them all.

“rise please.”

A ninja, “we do it out of respect Senpai, you are the hero of the Clan you and your brother.

Kabutachi, “Naruto or Sasuke?”

Soon two others walk in one is dressed similar to a Kage but no hat, the other is dressed like an ANBU ninja.

Kabutachi, “Soutoku Senshi, is there something I can do for you?”

Soutoku Senshi, “no we are going to do something for you, or he is.”

The ANBU ninja steps forward removes his mask and reveals he has MS, “I want to give you back your Uchiha heritage, Senpai. I am gonna use Izanami to switch our destinies.”

Kabutachi looks at him without a flinch of movement.

Else where we see a view of turtle island then we zoom in on 7 Naruto clones fighting each other, they all have red chakra cloaks and are doing major damage to the area. Then they all charge of bijuu balls and send them towards each other.

Suddenly another Naruto appears in the center at the collision point of the Bijuu balls.

A huge explosion occurs when the smoke clears, he is standing with a huge Bijuu ball hovering over him it took the impact and absorbed the balls into itself.

Naruto, “are you all done now? You can’t help yourselves hmmm, I guess freedom is too much for you? To want to go back to the way it was before?”
Naruto clone, “Kurama, we were just bored, that’s all, besides none of us liked the way it was before.”

Kurama Naruto, “well just don’t destroy the island and be ready if Naruto ever needs us!”

The Naruto with two tails and cat eyes with a lightning element aura, “the Kurama & will always be ready to assist Rikudo Uzumaki!”

Sunset and we see the team bruised and tired all three laid out.

Naruto appears and looks at them, {I see, clever.}

He turns and says, “Hey Eiyuu, your pretty clever huh?”

Turns to his left side and instantly goes Sage mode and slams his fist in the ground and pulls out Hiroshi, “you got some god jutsu too Hiroshi.”

Then throws a kunai strait at one of the clones laying on the ground, at the last second she moves out the way and the others disperse that were laying on the ground.

“Rakia, you have excellent amount of chakra, you guys passed, Team Naruto is gonna be awesome!”

They all look at each other, {weirdo.}

Naruto, “well be dressed and ready tomorrow morning, we have a mission, it’s secret Kakashi Sensei hasn’t even told me what it is yet!”

Later that night in a field of grass we see Hianta and Naruto just laying and talking when.

Naruto, “you can come out now, any longer and you would a reminded me of Pervy Sage just watching like that.”

Kakashi comes out, “Hey Hinata, do you mind?”

Hinata, “oh no, go ahead Lord Hokage, I will see you before you sleep, Love.”

She leaves.

Kakashi, “Naruto, I have something to tell you. Your mission tomorrow is dealing with gathering a new army, one to combat our current enemy. Since it is our best judgment to think his first if not soul target is Konoha City. I can’t ask or expect the villages to help”

Naruto, “well since the Sand village and Mist village joined us as part of Grand Konoha City we are very powerful we are the size of all of them combined. The old villages are used as training grounds and military and humanitarian aid points now.”

Kakashi, “Not to mention you’re the Amerikage now, lol.”

Naruto, “ no no that’s just honorary, they are very well off without me they have a leader. He was a surviving member to the first Akataski, before Nagato passed.”

Kakashi, “well either way, you are on the way to the land of Steel, it is north of the Land of Iron and very powerful maybe even more than the Land of Iron.”

Naruto, “Steel? That is only legend, but why me, politics isn’t my strong suit, ha ha.”

Kakashi, “you an your team are going there to train, it has to be you because It is the Samurai Family known as, Uzu, the origin of the Uzumaki Clan. They are your family just as the Uzumaki clan in Uzumaki town are.”

Naruto, “hmmm, well, okay! You know I’m always up for training, nothing wrong with learning stuff! So how do we get there?”

Kaskashi begins to walk away, “your cousin will be waiting for you at the gates in the morning, see ya.”

He disappears!

Naruto, “cousin!? What cousin?! Kakashi sensei!”

Next morning we see the team at the gate waiting, Naruto is saying goodbye to Hinata.

Suddenly, Naruto’s eyes flinch and he is instantly in front of the New team blocking a volley of short blades coming towards them.

Rakia, “what? Where did that come from?!”

Hinata prepares herself and points, signaling Naruto.

He makes a clone and it flashes out.

Soon a man in dress like Afro Samurai walks out with spike red hair he looks like Naruto except taller and more build. He has his hands up with Naruto clone walking behind him holding a rasengan to his back.

Naruto relaxes and disperses the clone, “your him huh? What was that about? Family doesn’t attack family!”

Hinata, {family?}
Samurai, “I am Ronin Uzu, brother. Apologies. I saw you wrapped up with that female over there I was testing to see if you actually left your duties unguarded.”

Eiyuu, “duties? We are his students you ignoramus, beat him up Sensei.”

Ronin, “students? I thought you were watching this females kids, ha ha. My mistake. Let’s go shall we?”

He turns and begins walking.

Rakia, “I don’t like him, I think ill kill him later.”

Hiroshi, “sure you will, hey Hinata Sensei, tell Uncle Kakashi not to die til I come back okay?”

Hinata, {what a strange boy.} “good bye Naruto.”

Naruto waves then he and hi steam catch up to Ronin.

Ronin, “well are you ready?”

Naruto all just look at him.

“well then”

He claps his hands, “Rasen bridge open! Two Uzu and three traveling!”

A huge tunnel of spiraling light opens and covers them then they disappear.


Hinata has Byakugan active, “gone.”

Next, “Welcome Home.”

Last edited by jericho Uzimaki; 05-12-2012 at 11:56 AM.
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Old 05-11-2012, 10:03 PM   #677
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

There's an edit feature for a reason. Also, dude, seriously, it's fan fics for Naruto. It's not like they are award winning writers.
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:09 PM   #678
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Kael03 - first off, who the f*ck are you? Critiquing my critiques, really? Like you're the damn warden in the Naruto Forum or something. Talk your thumb out of your a$$ now and suck it easy you f-ing clown. Nothing is directed to you or about you so you could just avoid even addressing what I post but no, you gotta make noise just because you can. I'm here reading people who take the manga and put creative twists to is, period. And I give props to people who do it in a way thats enjoyable. How in the hell is that your business bro or something you gotta try to comment on? You a suck-L, meaning losers in the states where I'm from. So back off when you see me posting giving props to the writers in a FAN FICTION THREAD you dip sh*t.

And oh, I apologize for posting my replies from my iPhone. I tap left and it goes right on occasion so I will apologize for that. But man, get a damn grip. You stepped way out of bounds my friend. So back it up and keep it moving.

And like I said, keep it coming fellas.
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:40 PM   #679
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Simmer down, kiddo. My post was about the 3 back-to-back posts basically blowing your load over fan fics of a manga that, in all honesty, isn't even that well written anymore.

As to who I am. Well...you'll figure that out soon enough if you keep on overreacting like that from 1 single critique.
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:51 PM   #680
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Wow this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
Kael03 - first off, who the f*ck are you? Critiquing my critiques, really? Like you're the damn warden in the Naruto Forum or something. Talk your thumb out of your a$$ now and suck it easy you f-ing clown. Nothing is directed to you or about you so you could just avoid even addressing what I post but no, you gotta make noise just because you can. I'm here reading people who take the manga and put creative twists to is, period. And I give props to people who do it in a way thats enjoyable. How in the hell is that your business bro or something you gotta try to comment on? You a suck-L, meaning losers in the states where I'm from. So back off when you see me posting giving props to the writers in a FAN FICTION THREAD you dip sh*t.
Seems like a disproportionately rage filled response to this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by kael03 View Post
There's an edit feature for a reason. Also, dude, seriously, it's fan fics for Naruto. It's not like they are award winning writers.
KD-Take a pill, why I don't ya... Or am I an "suck-L, dip sh*t, a$$, f-ing clown" too?

You probably could have made whatever point you were going for here, without sounding like a child about it.
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Old 05-11-2012, 11:55 PM   #681
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

I would like to point out that I'm born and raised in the united states, going on 27 years. Never in my life have I heard "losers" referred to as "suck-Ls". When the hell did that come into play?
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Old 05-12-2012, 12:31 AM   #682
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Axiom - its amazing how often people love to concern themselves with comments of others. And my God, this is the model forum of decorum now? If you step out of bounds people respond, period. The difference is you deem it necessary to care what other people write.

Kael - which brings me to you. First, we're both 27. Second, If Naruto isn't well written and doesn't matter, why are you reading it? And reading the Fan Fiction thread no less. Third, suck-L is hip hop slang so my bad for speaking what you won't understand. But never forget this started with you trying to tell me not to give props to people writing creative twists to a story you say isn't worth the read anymore. So cut out the judgmental mess bro. And I'm not sure of who you are, so you got me there I guess. But I care little about that. And this is out of character for me but that pisses me off you feeling the need to try and tell me to be calm. You, get away from this thread if what you're reading is so beneath you.

And again, looking forward to the continuations fellas....
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Old 05-12-2012, 12:55 AM   #683
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
Kael - which brings me to you. First, we're both 27.
Really? Because you're wanking to fan fics of this manga like it was A Song of Ice and Fire or something.

Quote:
Second, If Naruto isn't well written and doesn't matter, why are you reading it?
This is answered in every other chapter thread, I swear. I'm reading this manga because it was well written at one point (I've been reading this manga for about 5 years now, and I've read from chapter 1). Then Kishi allowed his publishers to dictate the pace of the story, and rainbow speeches became the ultimate ending to a villain, with a sprinkling of obsessing over armadillo dick.

Quote:
And reading the Fan Fiction thread no less.
Never said I read this. But when it's constantly the "newest post" because of you blowing your load over everyone else's writings, while contributing nothing to the thread, it becomes slightly annoying.

Quote:
Third, suck-L is hip hop slang so my bad for speaking what you won't understand.
Really? Never heard anyone use that term...ever. Not on college, not from my neighbors, and I live in a student ghetto. No where has "suck-L" ever been used. Hell, a quick googling yielded nothing that would associate "suck-L" with "loser". The Urban Dictionary link called it a variation of "suck" as in "you suck".

Quote:
But never forget this started with you trying to tell me not to give props to people writing creative twists to a story you say isn't worth the read anymore.
First off, I never said Naruto isn't worth reading. I said the writing isn't very good anymore. There have been chapters where Kishi has surprised us (Naruto/Bee/Itachi vs. Nagato), but they are becoming increasingly rare. So please stop trying to put words in my mouth.

Second, I never said for you to not give props, I said that there was an edit function for a reason. Multi-posting is against the rules, and Beniot is becoming more a stickler for the rules in this section (I'll likely get another "warning" for spamming with this).

Quote:
So cut out the judgmental mess bro.
Not being judgmental. If I was being judgmental I would've cited other manga/manwha that are worth more effort to create fan fics about. You're the one that flipped their shit when someone told you to FUCKING EDIT your posts when you have another thought to add to a similar post.

Quote:
And I'm not sure of who you are, so you got me there I guess. But I care little about that.
Hey, you and I agree on something. I don't give a fuck if you know about me. The ones that do know me will tell you eventually to not fuck with me.

Quote:
And this is out of character for me but that pisses me off you feeling the need to try and tell me to be calm.
Oh goody, you gave me a weakness to exploit! I'll keep that in mind for the future, knowing that in order to piss you off I just have to randomly pop in and tell you to use a function of the forums meant to avoid getting infractions by following the rules.

Quote:
You, get away from this thread if what you're reading is so beneath you.
You, are not the owner of this forum. So you can't say jack shit to me about getting out of a thread. Last I checked the internet isn't censored in the united states so I can go wherever the fuck I want and say whatever the fuck I want to whoever the fuck I want.

Again, I never said the readings are beneath me.
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Old 05-12-2012, 03:11 AM   #684
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Maybe a mod can move the last handful of these posts next to jekyl_hyde's thread of bullshit in the chit chat board.
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Old 05-12-2012, 04:19 AM   #685
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

And did I miss the part where if you're directing something to somebody they can't speak for themselves? Vishnu always does and we dialog about his storyline. Why that bothers you cry babies is beyond me. And my man, I'm not 5 but you are a clown for this sh*t his evening. And hey, you may post something worth giving props for and then if you choose you can say whatever. But cut the Sheriff of the Naruto Manga forum out please. This discussion and the name calling tonwards me was utter nonsense. I either give props, idea suggestions, or both to people who write excellent stuff. So you never have to worry about anymore than that from me. If you don't like me posting to J_H or Jericho about future posts, keep the sh*t to yourself. Won't kill ya I hope.
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Old 05-12-2012, 06:11 AM   #686
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Completely ignoring the above discussion, I'd like to give kudos to J_H, J_U and Vishnu for the awesome reads. Keep it up guys.
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Old 05-12-2012, 07:27 AM   #687
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
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Hey, you and I agree on something. I don't give a fuck if you know about me. The ones that do know me will tell you eventually to not fuck with me.
Careful guys! Don't fuck with this one, he might write a post about you on the internet!

Seriously Kidd, these dudes love to fap each other and argue about the dumbest shit. This is what gets them off. If a triple post is going to piss Kael off then he needs help. Any-who, if I were you I'd quadruple post!

Keep up the praise brah!


PS - Kael, please don't do anything, not trying to "fuck" with you. Don't hurt my feelings
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Old 05-12-2012, 11:25 AM   #688
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Lightbulb Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by Chidorilol View Post
Careful guys! Don't fuck with this one, he might write a post about you on the internet!

Seriously Kidd, these dudes love to fap each other and argue about the dumbest shit. This is what gets them off. If a triple post is going to piss Kael off then he needs help. Any-who, if I were you I'd quadruple post!

Keep up the praise brah!


PS - Kael, please don't do anything, not trying to "fuck" with you. Don't hurt my feelings
That's what the hell I'm saying! You get exactly what I'm talking about. Circus clowns never think the jokes are bad apparently. I'm glad somebody gets that.
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Old 05-12-2012, 04:04 PM   #689
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Wtf man?This all shit started because of the edit button? I thought that this was the Fanfic area. Kiddjutsu, as much as I appreciate your comments cut it out. This is not the place to argue on such stupid things. Kael was right, you were triple posting. End of discussion. You don't pick internet fights with people that are actually intelligent. Hell, if you would have done it with KYF i would stayed out of this, but you're not talking to idiots man. So listen to Kael he didn't said it in an offensive manner. I appreciate that you are liking our stuff, but dammit man...they have a reason for telling you to start editing your posts. This it's a place where we post our short ideas, personally for me it's a place to practice my english and keeping my writing skills not rusty. So stick with the comments for the fanfiction here and don't argue. Because there are people who actually wants to read our stuff, and they only see a wall of text where you're arguing with kael and mest.

And about the fanfic now...

I decided to change a bit the mithology. The indian gods will be slowly replaced. Vishnu will be revealed as a pawn to much more powerful deities. It took a lot of research, because i wanted everything to connect perfectly, but in two days the chapter will be up. I just started working on it, and it's going to be awesome. The Hyuuga riot will take place and it will change everything. Again. So thanks for the kind words so far. And don't start fights anymore guys!
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Old 05-13-2012, 04:00 AM   #690
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

wow! do you fags do this to everyone who is new to this forum??.....you fuckin geeks...what do you gang up on ppl in forums because you've been a pussy your whole life?

kael your the fucking worst bro....you troll around naruto related threads all the time bashing anything to do with it....... that alone makes you an idiot.....
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