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Old 05-15-2012, 02:41 PM   #721
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Hehe...about Hinata...funny thing. Hinata won't have just any role. Her role, will be the most important and not just in Konoha. The Civil War has a reason, it's not just a side plot. As always, more and more twists will occur. Initially my plan was to make Naruto and Sasuke use the three treasures, train a little bit and fight another final war. But it seemd to linear for me. So i changed everything. By introducing the angels in the story. God and Lucifer are the most powerful beings in the universe. But there is something..even more powerful. Something that none of you will expect, something that everyone, including me, ignored so far. Anyway thanks for the good words.

Jekyl: you're doing an amazing job. Keep going man.
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Old 05-15-2012, 02:46 PM   #722
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

It's cool that you keep yourself busy but why not make your own story instead of this.

Meh w/e for me it seems a waste of time but aslong as you don't think so well that's what matters I guess.
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Old 05-15-2012, 03:49 PM   #723
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Wow just when I thought everything was getting wrapped up in your story Vishnu, you give us a bunch of twists. So cool.
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Old 05-15-2012, 04:00 PM   #724
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

dude, you got a lot going on. what is it that we have ignored?

i mean you've eluded to zero having a big part. hinata is going to have a big part. there's some being more powerful than God and Lucifer.

i know kiddjutsu will be asking for it (the next chapter), but take your time man. i know you will regardless. can't wait to see how it all plays out.
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Old 05-15-2012, 05:15 PM   #725
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Ok, like J_H said, I'm all over that story Vishnu. Not to be left out J_H, more from you wouldn't be bad either dog. But I have questions on both stories because obviously I'm excited but confused and need some clarification.

Ok J_H: What is up with Benten? Is the chick sympathetic to humans and loves being around them? Is she there to infiltrate Konoha from the inside? But she didn't kill Kiba & left to fight, so is she now attached or something? Question on that.

Now about the discussion on powers of Raijin & Susake: What exactly is the difference between Raijin's elemental powers & non-elemental powers of Susanoo? And Sasuke called him the God of Storms, so how is that non-elemental? Love the face-offs but if they have no chance it doesn't really lead hope of victory.

Also, what about Suijin, does he ever interact with Hinata? Do they train? Does she have to show Suijin her sealing abilities as proof or something to that effect? And where the hell is Naruto? I love how he is literally in the wind but we don't get a sense of what he's mastered, what's really left, how exactly the train to put him to the max. And because Naruto can use clones to amplify his experience you would assume his gains would come quickly. But man, you are killing it seriously.

Now Vishnu, why are you trying make my head explode. First off, love how you took my suggestion on the Byakugan. It has a new level now, new color, and it leaves Hinata the possibility of gaining it since she is from the head family bloodlines. Now, where the hell did the story go. Before today there was by far the most epic battle about to take place. Konohamaru had the kunai to infuse the Sage chakra to give the shield for the battle. Everybody was primed, Zero looked to be an incarnation of the Creator on Earth, Naruto & Sasuke had the 3 artifacts to figure how to activate with their eye doujutsus, and the troops from both sides were lining up in front of Kohona battle royale, and then Boom!! We got a whole new set of circumstances.

So clarify, how did the Creator & his split half not end up being the most powerful?
The other brainwashed gods have equivalent abilities, meaning powers from heaven, but Naruto now having his abilities derive from the heavens he was ripping new assholes out of those previous gods. But now he is like a chicken sh*t before the archangels. How is the best badass left so powerless all of a sudden? He & Sasuke are now captured, unable to use powers against their captors, so how can they fight back. Can't have people of their caliber captured without means of kicking somebody's ass. I mean Naruto has Sage powers, senjutsu, the highest level doujutsu, the FTG technique, and the nine tails for unlimited power reserves. But Michael took his lunch in like two moves. So clarify how the future story gets back to the fight approaching, how Michael can whoop Naruto but at the same time need Naruto to take Sasuke. Just that part seems not to jive very well in terms of execution.

On the plus side like J_H said, its more story for me to ask get continued.
You dudes really came back with force. J_H, another question, how do the newest Jinchurikki get chosen & display their new powered up abilities after they get the bijuu powers?

Naruto360 & J_Uz, how you guys are still on tap for another drop too. Really like those too.

So looking forward to what comes next with both fellas. Great stuff.....
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Old 05-15-2012, 07:29 PM   #726
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
Naruto360 & J_Uz, how you guys are still on tap for another drop too.
Here it is.....

“Welcome home”

Sasuke is seen walking alone, he is dressed in similar garb to what he wore vs., Gaara at the Chunin exams, except he has his sword and a Jonin vest.

“come out already, your embarrassing yourself, following me like that.”

Hinata comes out, “ I was not trying to follow you the way your implying, Sasuke.”

Suddenly Sasuke turns without warning and throws a projectile at Hinata she catches it but it explodes soon as she does.

Sasuke is smiling then he starts laughing but it is a happy laugh not sinister.

As we see Hinata she has cream on her face like from a pie.

Sasuke is pointing and laughing, then someone comes out of the woods.

“we are supposed to be training, you two. Not playing games.”

It is a boy no older than 12, he has red hair in 9 braids resembling Killer bee. They reach past his shoulders. He has shades on a short bow staff on his back, he is dressed with a white shirt with the chain mail showing on his chest and up to his elbows. His pants are brown with white shoes on. He has black gloves on that have seals on the palms and fingers cut out. He has the kanji for Lion on his left shoulder and the kanji for Blue on his right.

They two stop and poof into two other youths,

A girl and a boy.

The girl, “Sorry Leo, but this is kinda like training, we are practicing our jutsu.”

The boy is quiet, but nods his head in agreement.

Leo, {Quantoz Nara and Quantez Inuzuka, the twins. They were adopted by two different clans but stayed close through it all. They are a handle full now but with training they could be deadly when they are older. Where are our Sensei’ at anyway?}

Quantoz is the female she wears her long brown hair like Shikamaru. She is wearing grey sweat shirt that is too big for her and what is shown of her legs s covered with black tights. She has a medium size scroll on her hip, that she moves form side to side to move out of her way.

Quantez is wearing a back pack that is kinda big for him. He is wearing a black jacket with a purple shirt under it. His pants are brown with pants and black shoes. They both like Leo are wearing shades.

Suddenly “wind palm: push back!”

They are all sent flying back and land on their butts.

They all look up to see two figures looking down at them.

Leo, “Sensei Hinata, we were…”

Interrupting figure, “Yes I saw your teammates were playing games, pretending to be Hinata and me. The you came along and looked down at them while scolding them.”

They all get up and beginning following behind there two Sensei’s Sasuke and Hinata.

Soon they get to and area unfamiliar to them but it is part of the battlefield during the War. There is much debris still present fallen tress, stones, broken weapons tron old clothing .

Sasuke, “we are here to train, no more games. You all have been through different things before coming to the Academy. You, all three of you went through something very traumatic.”

Hinata, “yes, because of that you all already stronger than your other classmates in some ways, but do not ever think you are better than them. Unlike the other teams you do have a particular advantage, even though your names are different ..”

Sasuke, “your all Uzumaki, your part f the same clan, your are a closer family than the rest. Somehow Kabuto tracked your families down, kidnapped your mother’s and forced them to be subdued to experiments while you were still in the womb, he was a monster.”

We see the effect ids having on the kids.

Hinata, “so we are saying remove your glasses, we are the only ninjas here that can train you in everyway you need it.

All of them have Byakugan eyes with a Sharinghan pupil.

Sasuke, “Now team Hinata Sasuke, let’s train those eyes!”

Elsewhere we see Naruto with his shirt off and just wearing his black pants with an orange strip down the side. He is sweating, and has a determined look on his face.

“I got you now!”
A tall male that also has his shirt off, he has a tan and wears blue shorts.

“no way, Gaijin. This is how a true Uzu does it!”

He rushes towards Naruto spins holding something to avoid Naruto.

Naruto, {wow, his moves are hard to predict!}

“told you, I win!”

He is shown slamming a ball into a towering hoop, they are playing basketball!!
The hoop is at least 100 yards high.

Later we see Naruto walking with the man.

Naruto, “that was fun but I am ready to start training.”

Soon they arrive at a huge coliseum, inside we see Ronin and several others dressed unfamiliar to Naruto even for Samurai.

Ronin, “well it is ready, this is your new armor, and temporary weapons, you will learn how to use all of them before it is over.”

Naruto, “uhm, armor? Looks strange for samurai armor, but I told what I needed to maximize my training potential.”

Ronin, “ that is covered, but you will not be labeled Samurai when you complete all the training. This is something new, well there is a legend amongst the Uzu clan. That one day we will have someone that can learn and become the first of the next level of warrior. Someone that can master being a ninja, master the way of a samurai, and then master the ways of the untouchable element.”

Naruto, what is all this your talking about? Where are my students Ronin?”

Ronin, “oh don’t worry they are being trained in the physical and tactical ways of the Samurai only. I will leave the ninja training and jutsu to you brother. But first we begin your path to becoming Shogun of the Uzu!”

He slams his hand down on the ground and a seal covers the entire field. It si quickly filled with Samurai, each holding the weapons he is to train in.

Naruto is smiling okay, weapons training it is. How long does it take to master these weapons?”

Ronin, hmmm all of tehm, well to become proficient I would say at least several years each.”

Naruto, “hmm give me a day. Seal summoning: shadow clone jutsu!”

His seal glow pulsating with chakra as he creates two clones for ever Samurai.

Ronin and the other Samurai are leaving the giant arena, “when you have master the weapons put on that armor and find me at the Pit!”

Naruto, {no problem, I will put that weird armor on in no time. I wonder how my students are.}

We see a cleared area where the kids are sitting waiting for some one.

They all notice a shadow, then look up to see a red haired dark skinned man with a Black Kung Fu outfit on with the buttons orange. He has a goatee and a rugged short afro.

“so children I am Jericho Uzu, trainer of only the best. I am the next phase of Naruto Uzumaki’s training, but for now I will assess you for my sister, sh ewill train you for the duration, you will not be permitted to leave until you have mastered the ways of the samurai.”

Rakia, “permitted? We are the students of Naruto Uzumaki, the best ninj aever! Wee aren’t pushovers!”

Hiroshi, “I agree, old man, you don’t need to assess anything, we are gonna be ninja’s not Samurai anyway!”

Eiyuu, “hmmm, you kinda old to be training. That why you just standing there staring? Ha ha”

Jericho, “I am done assessing you. Now for the test.”

Rakia, “what? Look we will go along with this training only because Sensei Naruto is, so we wanna….”

Jericho, “shut up child, my honor I will not arm women, children or an unarmed defenseless opponent. But once you came to this ground you all became students. Now Gaijins, If you don’t take me down I will personally kill Naruto myself!”

They all look surprises then focused.

They all stand up and get in a formation, (in unison) “Let’s Go!”

Next: “For Our Master”
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Old 05-15-2012, 07:48 PM   #727
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
Ok, like J_H said, I'm all over that story Vishnu. Not to be left out J_H, more from you wouldn't be bad either dog. But I have questions on both stories because obviously I'm excited but confused and need some clarification.

Ok J_H: What is up with Benten? Is the chick sympathetic to humans and loves being around them? Is she there to infiltrate Konoha from the inside? But she didn't kill Kiba & left to fight, so is she now attached or something? Question on that.

Now about the discussion on powers of Raijin & Susake: What exactly is the difference between Raijin's elemental powers & non-elemental powers of Susanoo? And Sasuke called him the God of Storms, so how is that non-elemental? Love the face-offs but if they have no chance it doesn't really lead hope of victory.

Also, what about Suijin, does he ever interact with Hinata? Do they train? Does she have to show Suijin her sealing abilities as proof or something to that effect? And where the hell is Naruto? I love how he is literally in the wind but we don't get a sense of what he's mastered, what's really left, how exactly the train to put him to the max. And because Naruto can use clones to amplify his experience you would assume his gains would come quickly. But man, you are killing it seriously.

J_H, another question, how do the newest Jinchurikki get chosen & display their new powered up abilities after they get the bijuu powers?
I will try to clarify without spoiling things too much.

In regards to Benten, the answer is she in no way loves the human beings. That's all I can say for now. Let's just say she's diabolical, cunning, conniving, and sexual.

Raijin is the god of the lightning and thunder. Susanoo is the god of storms. A storm is compromised of the two aforementioned elements along with wind and water. Hence why he is out to destroy the three elemental gods. Then he will be the "supposed" strongest god. Also, Susanoo is the perfect opponent for Raijin and Sasuke. Their lightning and thunder is more powerful and complete compared to his, but he also has some affinity for water and wind.

Out of all the elements, wind is the strongest. In the natural world, it is the only element that can eradicate or change the form of other elements.

Suijin is going to "protect" Hinata because of her unborn daughter. Suijin will never train Hinata. That's not to say she will not get any training.

And with Naruto... be patient. I can tell you now, you're not going to get alot of his training, because honestly, it's a lot of meditation. I feel like I've got more interesting things going on.

And I can promise, the next chapter will have a fight between two gods.
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Old 05-15-2012, 07:56 PM   #728
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by Narut0360 View Post
Thanks J_H, The Gama Bros they are not gone and are not forgotten, but the last time we saw Gamakichi he was big enough to carry Tsunade so i decided to make Makura and Koudo who would be small enough that they could come with Naruto on his missions. i"m also thinking they will have a bigger purpose for being there as i hinted with the reference of the Great Toad Sage or as i called him the Geezer sage.

i agree with you on keeping Kakashi as Hokage for now, since it frees up Naruto to go out on mission and to save the world lol.

Now i'm in thinking mode on how i'm going to continue this, How do You and Vishnu and even jericho Uzimaki keep coming up with new stuff. You guys are like the Energizer Bunny you keep going and going and GOING....Mad Respect for all you guys.
Sorry for not responding earlier. I remember one of the technical writing professors in college telling me that any good story, whether it is fictional or real, it has hooking opening, a fulfilling body, and a conclusion that is precise.

In my writing, I know which direction I want to go. I know how I want to end my fanfic. The body is made up along the way. You just have to make sure there is a smooth transition and flow. Keep things precise, not to leave any plotholes or any stone unturned so to speak.

Another thing that works in my favor, honestly is my personality. I plan things out, but I also know how to "wing it" and so far have not had too many mistakes with "winging it". So in that area, I'm able to add certain aspects to my story that I never really intended to, but they've added to the story.

I can tell you right now, Vishnu has done that, because he's said so. Maybe not in those exact terms, but he's told us he's changed his mind and the direction of his fanfic a couple of times. That's part of being a good writer. It's ok to change your mind if you don't like something. But when you've got something good, go with it. And be precise.
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Old 05-15-2012, 08:24 PM   #729
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Thumbs up Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jekyl_hyde View Post
I will try to clarify without spoiling things too much.

In regards to Benten, the answer is she in no way loves the human beings. That's all I can say for now. Let's just say she's diabolical, cunning, conniving, and sexual.

Raijin is the god of the lightning and thunder. Susanoo is the god of storms. A storm is compromised of the two aforementioned elements along with wind and water. Hence why he is out to destroy the three elemental gods. Then he will be the "supposed" strongest god. Also, Susanoo is the perfect opponent for Raijin and Sasuke. Their lightning and thunder is more powerful and complete compared to his, but he also has some affinity for water and wind.

Out of all the elements, wind is the strongest. In the natural world, it is the only element that can eradicate or change the form of other elements.

Suijin is going to "protect" Hinata because of her unborn daughter. Suijin will never train Hinata. That's not to say she will not get any training.

And with Naruto... be patient. I can tell you now, you're not going to get alot of his training, because honestly, it's a lot of meditation. I feel like I've got more interesting things going on.

And I can promise, the next chapter will have a fight between two gods.
Oh now see that becomes much more clearer too because Raijin was telling Sasuke to back down as if he was their kryptonite or something. And yes, wind is the highest level but now its clear he has a combo affinity to make himself the storm god. I'm much more clear on that. Can't wait til you drop it bro. And that fight with the gods will be outstanding I'm sure. As for Naruto's training, if he's doing a bunch of meditating you may think of treating it as the Waterfall of Truth when he was learning to control his anger on the Animal Island w/ Killer Bee to win control of the nine tails.
This thing is a excellent read man.....
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Old 05-16-2012, 09:58 AM   #730
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

awesome job guys cant wait untill the next one's thanks for the good read guy's
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Old 05-16-2012, 11:54 PM   #731
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Ok, the release this week was pretty much a letdown. So I'm looking forward to an infusion of storylines in the Fan Fiction. Certainly cant depend on the official manga to come around for a few chapters probably. So gentlemen, start your engines.....
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Old 05-17-2012, 11:04 PM   #732
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Continuation from page 47


Quote:
Naruto Fan Fic Chronicles: Naruto’s Summit

....2 Days Pass....

Scene Zooms in on a snowy landscape, where the snow is constantly falling.
The scene Fades out white and cuts to a table.
We Zoom in on the table to see four hats are present, we Zoom in closer to see a hat being place on the table. We Pan out to see that the hat belongs to the Raikage and if we Pan out more we see that all Five Kages are standing around the table and we continue to pan out until you can see all who accompanied the Kages Standing above on a balcony



Kakashi- Well I’m glad everyone could make it on such short notice.

He motions with his hands to tell everyone to sit

Raikage- of course we made it, But now where is that brat Naruto who ordered it? I owe him one for tricking me.

Mei- I do as well he called me scary looking and disguised himself as an old man, so I was not able to punish him for the comment.

Kakashi- HEhe…he {Cough cough}

Mei- what was that Kakashi?

Kakashi- oh sorry, just had a tickle in my throat.

Akatsuchi- Is this like Naruto, to call a meeting but be late for it.

Kakashi, Konoha Team, Gaara, Kankuro and Temari – YES!!

Gaara- But I am surprised he is not here by now.

Kakashi- I am sorry for Naruto’s………

The conversation of the Kages fade out and the conversation up in the balcony fades in.

Shikamaru- How is it Naruto is that fastest man alive and yet he is late?

Killer Bee- yo Yo YO Shika, a Hero is Neva Late 4 Any Date & Naruto in a Flash will Neva make U Wait!!! You Got Me?!

Hinata- Yeah Shikamaru, Bee is right. Naruto might not always be there when we want him, but when we NEED him he’s always there for us!

Shikamaru-….

Killer Bee- You go Home Girl

The next panel shows Kankuro in a flashback about Gaara words about Naruto


....
Skip ahead




Flashback ends

Kankuro thinking


Kankuro- Naruto, the moment you met and Fought Gaara, You gave Me back my Brother, you gave us our Kazekage, You changed him for the better. And for that…

Kankuro stares down at Gaara from the balcony who is still talking with the other Kages

Kankuro{still Thinking}- I will wait.

Onoki- We can and will Wait for Naruto, this war is not going anywhere without him.

Sakura- When did you get here?

Onoki- I’ve been here, but I had to go lay down my back was killing me from the trip here.

Kurotsuchi- Old man are we sure we need Naruto, the meeting seems to be almost over as it is.

Onoki- Watch what you say about Naruto, he is the one who brought peace to us for Five years, this meeting will truly only begin when he arrives, we must wait to hear what he has to say.

Kurotsuchi is shocked about Onoki’s Praise of Naruto.

Kurotsuchi- Ok Old man….

Sakura is Yelling at Shikamaru

Sakura- Shikamaru TAKE IT BACK!!!! Or I will Clobber YOU!!!!

Shikamaru- What a pain… It was only a joke

Scene cuts to Temari in thought

Temari- For some reason Naruto I always talked down to you.




Temari- Even after what you did for my Brother

Temari has a Flashback of what she told Naruto

Temari- "Naruto… You really are a mysterious person. You have the power to change people… Chiyo-sama was always saying how she didn't care about the future of the village… She wasn't the kind of person who would do something like this for Gaara…

Temari- And even though I have see what you can do I kept on having doubts in your abilities




Temari still in thought


Temari- and you kept proving me wrong time and time again, and like the old man said you brought us peace…. So I too will wait.

Scene cuts to Sakura Clubbing Shikamaru on the head

Shikamaru- Wait… Ouch… OK OK! I take it back I’m sorry…. It was only a joke.

Sakura{Hmph}- Good.

Sakura stops Clubbing Shikamaru on the head and turns to face Sasuke.

Sakura- Sasuke I am worried about Naruto, why do you think he is so late?

Sasuke- I have no clue, but knowing Naruto it will be an interesting answer.

Killer Bee is seen walking over to Sai who seems to be spacing out looking off into the distance.

Killer Bee- What ya thinkin Kid? it B lookin like you are Flyin higher than a bird on grass u Dig….

Sai-………..Oh sorry, I was thinking of a New Nickname for Naruto

Killer Bee- Watcha Got ?

Sai- …Delayed Flash

Killer Bee- Delayed Flash?..... Bwa hahaha HWawa!!!!!

Scene Cuts back to the Kages Conversation

Raikage- SHUT IT BEE!!!!! Do NOT INTERUPTS US AGAIN!! You hear me?!

Killer Bee- Sorry Bro, but this Kid made the craziest Nickname for Naruto.

Makura- Cool Boss you got another Nickname.

Naruto- Trust me , if Sai made it Makura it Sucks…SO am I Late to the meeting?

Every kage and everyone in the Balcony smiles while Hinata blushes and Bee…

Killer Bee- BWahahahah Hehe !!!!

Raikage looks up and Killer Bee goes Silent

Kakashi- Yes Naruto you are late, what happened?

Naruto- Sorry, I ran into some trouble on the way here.

Koudo- well technically we were never in any kind of trouble

Makura- Yeah they were the ones in trouble the moment they talked bad about Konoha.

Naruto- Shh Makura…

Kakashi- who was it?

Mei- well who ever it was they must have been powerful to stay and fight you.

Makura- not the case at all.

Koudo- yeah they had no clue who boss was until they saw a flash and it was too late.

Naruto- Excuse these two, it was 20 Sound Ninja who tried to attack me.

Raikage- Was it Tobi’s doing?

Naruto- Na, I don’t think so. Like Makura and Koudo pointed out, they had know clue who I was, and if they did they would have probably brought more men to attack me. …Anyways should we start this meeting?

Akatsuchi- Well we were just about done

Naruto- oh…?

Onoki- No you weren’t !!

Onoki flies from the balcony and lands next to Naruto

Onoki- We were just waiting for you to arrive, to hear what you have to say.

Naruto looks down and smiles

Naruto- Thanks

Onoki pats the back of Naruto’s knee and motions Naruto to come and sit at the table. Once Naruto is seated, Onoki flies back up to the balcony.

Raikage- Well?!

Naruto- How should I begin…

Gaara- start off with how you have been these past five years.

Naruto nods and takes a deep breath

Naruto- Busy but good.

Kakashi- as we are all pleased to hear that you’ve been good these past five years Naruto. War is upon us can you continue on with the needed info you have gathered.

Raikage- Yeah, hurry it up!

Naruto- Of course.

Naruto closes his eyes crosses his arms and leans back in his chair.

Naruto- From what i have gathered these past 5 years is word that Tobi has found a weapon that could change tide of the upcoming war.

Akatsuchi- Wouldn’t he have used this weapon in the last war, if he had such a thing?

Gaara- Not if he did not have possession of this something in the last war.

Naruto sits up straight in his chair and opens his eyes

Naruto- Correct Gaara, but this weapon is not a something it is a someone….

Kakashi- who? Maadara is gone.

Raikage- the past Kages are sealed

Akatsuchi- He does have the seven Bijuu..

Mei- yeah but he had them last time

Gaara- and Naruto and Bee Handled them pretty easily anyway it has to be someone new.

Naruto- well I’m not sure about that Gaara. In my Reconnaissance these five years I intercepted many messengers and they had the same message “NOT FOUND” until a month ago the message changed….

Raikage- Spit it out boy!!!

Onoki floats down from the balcony and hovers and places his hand on Naruto’s Shoulder.

Onoki- do not pay any attention to him boy, but please continue….

Naruto takes a deep breath in and exhales four words.

Naruto- WE FOUND THE SAGE!!!

Shocked faces fills the room from the Balcony to the Kages Table to even the Floating Onoki.

END

Last edited by Narut0360; 05-17-2012 at 11:13 PM.
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Old 05-17-2012, 11:17 PM   #733
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

N-360, that is fantastic sir. Wish I had a critique but I don't. Just ready for that next passage now that Naruto has finally arrived. Rock on sir....
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Old 05-17-2012, 11:22 PM   #734
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Tell me did you mind having to go to that website and look at the Manga? because i really did not want to go into detail if i could use Kishi's work instead of mine.
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Old 05-18-2012, 12:00 AM   #735
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

well done narut0360.

loved the joke by sai.
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