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Old 08-26-2012, 11:45 AM   #1
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Jokes R Us



If anyone know a good joke please share


A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc.

The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"


Note: No adult jokes please
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Old 08-26-2012, 01:33 PM   #2
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Re: Jokes R Us

Are you a dude or a chick?
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Old 08-26-2012, 01:40 PM   #3
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Re: Jokes R Us

"it" has to be a dude
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Old 08-26-2012, 01:47 PM   #4
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Re: Jokes R Us

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Solitude View Post
Note: No adult jokes please
Two guys walk into a bar...

Fuck you.
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Old 08-26-2012, 02:10 PM   #5
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Re: Jokes R Us

Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
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Old 08-26-2012, 02:27 PM   #6
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Re: Jokes R Us

@kael it's sad, really sad that this person ES could be a kid posted not to say no adult jokes and you still manage to curse... very academic of you...
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Old 08-26-2012, 02:30 PM   #7
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Re: Jokes R Us

Quote:
Originally Posted by gringie View Post
@kael it's sad, really sad that this person ES could be a kid posted not to say no adult jokes and you still manage to curse...
Fuck you, like I give a shit.

Quote:
very academic of you...
Um...the word you are looking for is "mature", academic has a completely different meaning. Stop trying to use big words to not look like a dumbass, it's not working.
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Old 08-26-2012, 02:44 PM   #8
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Re: Jokes R Us

academic should fit for u too genius....and a mature person wouldn't be wasting his time on a fandom forum
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Old 08-26-2012, 07:38 PM   #9
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Re: Jokes R Us

A mature person would realize life is what you make it and not have such narrow ideas of "maturity." As long as you're not a drain on society and avoid interference with the Rights of others then go ahead and do whatever you want.
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Old 08-27-2012, 02:44 AM   #10
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Re: Jokes R Us

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miburo View Post
Are you a dude or a chick?
Male

Quote:
Originally Posted by kael03 View Post
Two guys walk into a bar...

Fuck you.
Why guys why

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
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Old 08-27-2012, 03:43 AM   #11
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Re: Jokes R Us

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Solitude View Post
Why guys why
Because you said not to.


A priest and a rabbi...Fuck you.
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Old 08-27-2012, 05:00 AM   #12
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Re: Jokes R Us

Once a fat man fell from a building and lost conscious,he woke up in a hospital and said wow I'm alive,on this the doctor said yes you are alive but on whom u fell r dead.
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Old 08-27-2012, 05:17 AM   #13
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Re: Jokes R Us

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Solitude View Post
Once a fat man fell from a building and lost conscious,he woke up in a hospital and said wow I'm alive,on this the doctor said yes you are alive but on whom u fell r dead.
No comment. Kael your jokes are better. Tell us again the one with the priest and the rabbi.
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Old 08-27-2012, 05:23 AM   #14
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Re: Jokes R Us

We have found the Karen of the forum
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Old 08-27-2012, 08:02 PM   #15
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Re: Jokes R Us

Quote:
Originally Posted by gringie View Post
...and a mature person wouldn't be wasting his time on a fandom forum
So by your on admission you aren't mature, since you are also here.

See what I did there?




























































Probably not.
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