Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!! - Page 83 - Fandom Forums
Fandom Forums



Go Back   Fandom Forums > Anime & Manga > Naruto Series > Naruto Manga

Naruto Manga Talk about the manga series Naruto here! Remember, this is manga only. No anime!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-03-2012, 04:09 PM   #1231
Bazooka_Joe
Genin
 
Bazooka_Joe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 78
Thanks: 601
Thanked 23 Times in 13 Posts
Bazooka_Joe is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Vishnu, your fan fiction was the best. I have never read anything as awesome as it was ;] YOU ROCK MAN
Bazooka_Joe is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Bazooka_Joe For This Useful Post:
Narut0360 (10-09-2012), Vishnu (10-03-2012)


Old 10-03-2012, 04:25 PM   #1232
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Thank you very much. I'm happy that many of you think so about my fanfic.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-2012, 01:11 AM   #1233
Narut0360
Genin
 
Narut0360's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Boston
Posts: 221
Thanks: 533
Thanked 296 Times in 105 Posts
Narut0360 is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Vishnu, You and your FanFic are one of the main Reason that this Forum has been revived and your writing got me to start my own fanfic and for that i say THANK YOU for all your time spent trying and succeeding in entertaining us with your stories...
__________________
Check out my Fanfiction from the very Beginning on page "37" in Naruto Fan Fiction Thread and it continues on pages "47,49,57,61,62,63,70,71,72"

Thank You and Enjoy
Narut0360 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Narut0360 For This Useful Post:
KiddJutsu (10-09-2012), Vishnu (10-09-2012)
Old 10-09-2012, 03:47 PM   #1234
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narut0360 View Post
Vishnu, You and your FanFic are one of the main Reason that this Forum has been revived and your writing got me to start my own fanfic and for that i say THANK YOU for all your time spent trying and succeeding in entertaining us with your stories...
Thank you for the kind words Narut0360. I really appreciate that my writing made you create such a wonderful story. And i'm also glad that my story kept you entertained for such a long time. I'm looking forward to ser your next chapters.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Vishnu For This Useful Post:
Narut0360 (10-09-2012)
Old 10-19-2012, 03:01 PM   #1235
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

So guys, as i promised, i will post here the first part of my new work. But i have to give you a warning. It's not related to Naruto or any of my previous fanfics. Even though you will find some similarities regarding the names and some locations, it's a completly new, different fanfiction. I made it small, so you could give me an opinion first. If it's not much of a bother, please read it and hit me with everything you got, because i really need opinions.

Chapter one: The Begining.



Rome. Curia of Pompei. 15 march. 44 BC.

The scene shows a man walking on a street. He is wearing the nobility's clothes and he has long brown hair. It's night. Suddenly, from a corner, another man appears. He is dressed entirely in red. The first one stops.

The man dressed in red: It is done?
First man: Aye. I did it myself. He is dead. I stabbed him with my own dagger.
The man dressed in red: Good. Here is your payment.
He hands the first man a bag filled with gold.
The first man: May i know your name before you leave?
The man dressed in red: You may not. Just one question. What were his final words?
The first man smiles: E tu...Brutus?

Europe. 2012. October.

The scene shows an amphitheatre, filled with students, somewhere in Europe. Everyone is waiting for the teacher to show up and start the presentation. The panel is focused on the third row. A young man is sitting next to a young woman. He is quite tall, with black hair, brown piercing eyes and a funny demenour. He is laughing with the girl next to him. She is quite beatiful, with long chestnut colored hair, and brown eyes. She is amused by the jokes told to her by the young man. Next to them is another young man with curly short brown hair. Suddenly the door is opened. The teacher enters the room and one hundred twenty students remain speechless. Blood is slowly staining the teacher's white shirt. As he makes one more step, his eyes goes white and he falls down on the ground. Dead. Everyone stares shocked at the scene. The teacher has a sword impaled into his back. Behind his corpse, four men appear. All of them are tall, and wearing long black robes. Two of them are sporting a short blonde hair, one of the has black hair and the most interesting one is the last man. He has long vibrant red hair, an eyepatch covering his left eye, and piercing purple eyes. He is smoking a cigar. He goes next to the teacher and takes out the blade impaled in the man. The expressions on each student's face is a mixture between shock and fear. All of them but one.

The man with the red hair turns around and looks at the other three that are with him.

Red-haired man: Search for them.
The three men are looking around the amphitheatre and soon their eyes stop on the young woman and the man with curly hair.
The one with black hair turns around and looks at the red headed one.
Black-haired man: Lord Asclose. There they are. I have found them. The young man with curly brown hair and the girl next to him. Third row.
Asclose turns his head and looks at the two mentioned. Everyone, including the duo is freaked out by his gaze. Except one. The young man with black hair, sitting next to the pointed woman is calm. His demenour changed drastically. He went from being carefree and joyful to a menacing, serious and focused presence.
Asclose: Those two? Bring them down here!
The young woman tries to run, but the man with black hair catches her hand.
Young man: Stay down Arinasa. And don't panic. He cannot...they cannot reach you as long as I am here. I promise you!
Arinasa calms down a bit, impressed by Claude's calm state.
Arinasa thinking: What's with this feeling? His mere words paralyzed me! I feel like...he can really deal with those guys! But...
Arinasa: Are you insane Claude?!? He wants something from me! Let me go!
Claude with a menacing tone: I thought that i told you to sit down. Don't worry. Let me handle this.
The other young man, the one with the curly hair looks at Claude and speaks: Do you really think that you can handle them?!? Are you nuts!?!
Claude smiles: Come on Max. I told you...as long as i am here, they won't lay a finger on you guys.
Suddenly Asclose spots Claude.
Asclose: I think that i have lost my hearing. Did you just said that you can handle us, and that we shall not lay a finger on them?!?
Claude turns his attention towards Asclose.
Claude: That's exactly what i said. Do you have a problem with it, Asclose?
Asclose: Such impertinence. How do you dare to call me like that?
Claude smiles: Come on, Asclose. What's the matter? I cannot call you Lord, because you're not my Lord. Also, my statement was entirely correct. You won't get your chance at killing Max and Arinasa as long as i am here.
Asclose: You amuse me. What makes you think that we are here to kill them?
Claude: Don't take me for a fool. You're here because of the prophecy. You are here to make sure that your master shall rise again without anyone to stand against him.
Asclose shocked: Who...who are you?!?
Claude smiles menacing: I am...nobody. And yet i represent a threat for the four of you. If you want to deal with me, i must warn you that not even one of you will make out of this room alive. I will kill every single one of you. Instantly. Got it?
Asclose stars laughing and at the same moment both Max and Arinasa vanish from his side and land in the middle of the amphitheatre. They are both held by Asclose's henchmen.
Asclose: Fool. Do you really belive that a mere human can hurt us? We shall decapitate both of them!
Claude smiles and throws another menacing glare at Asclose.
Claude: You're an idiot, Asclose. Let me say this: if one blade is near them, i will sever the hand that is holding it. I just hope that you won't make such a mistake. Are we clear?
Asclose smiles and waves his hand towards the white-haired man.
Asclose: Jaganath...kill the woman!
Jaganath takes out his sword and approaches the woman, preparing to strike her.
Claude is shown smiling, but his eyes gave him away. The look that he has, is deadly.
Jaganath makes a large swing and slashes towards Arinasa's neck. Moments before the sword cuts her neck, three distinct souns are heard. Arinasa's scream. A blade hitting something. And the sound of metal cutting through flesh. Also, a powerful wind blow appears inside the amphitheatre.

The scene shows a disturbing picture. Arinasa is crouched. A man is standing right in front of her. The man stoped the blade that was aimed for her throat with his finger. Jaganath is shown. His chest was slashed and his arm from the shoulder down, got severed. The scene shows Claude, adopting a menacing posture. He appeared in an instant in front of Arinasa and slashed Jaganath. Claude sports his own sword. But a much more elegant version than the four men have. His sword has an elegant gold hilt, with a lightning shaped guard and straight blade. At the top of the hilt, an eagle's head is present. His pose is a dominant one, but his eyes are the one's that are scary. He has an angry glare. And yet he is still smiling.
Claude: I told you...
Asclose shocked: Who are you?!?
Claude: Just a moment, please...
He turns around and helps a confused Arinasa to get up.
Claude: Are you OK, love?
Arinasa: Yeah...i'm...fine...
Claude: Excellent. Now, please, stay behind me. It will all be over in a matter of moments.
Asclose shouts as he takes out his sword: I asked who the hell are you!?!
Claude turns around and looks at Asclose. The man, scared makes a few steps back as he meets Claude's eyes.
Claude: You want to know my real name? Ok...i think that i should tell you my name...as a final courtesy...before i kill you...you should know that i'm also a Lord...
Asclose: Before you kill me?!? A Lord?!?
Claude with a serious, mrnacing tone: I had many names during the last 10.000 years. The mankind gave me many names. But i'm known among the Lords as Vishnu...founder and the First Ruler of the Celest City, Dark General and main character in the Prophecy!

The end.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com

Last edited by Vishnu; 10-19-2012 at 03:05 PM.
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Vishnu For This Useful Post:
Bazooka_Joe (10-20-2012), ivhturp2 (10-28-2012), J-man123 (10-20-2012), KiddJutsu (10-21-2012), Numinous (11-27-2012)
Old 10-19-2012, 08:18 PM   #1236
nickers
Academy Student
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Florianópolis
Posts: 5
Thanks: 0
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
nickers is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Vishnu, that was outstanding. I'm only sad we won't get pictures of this hehe
Looking forward for next chapters.
Few things on my mind tought, you said it is not Naruto related, but erm.. Celest City? Will be hard no to relate that to your previous fanfic, another one.. Don't know if you will make this fic long or not, but on mangas at least im used to read, the character is not really proficient on anything at all, he builds it, and Claude as you've presented seems like an already well built one.
I'm only thinking that he is not the main one as it'll be Max and the girl. Claude will be those other 2 sensei and they could somewhere on a farway timeline surpass their own teacher since Claude tells the Asclose guy is there to kill the both i just mentioned to make sure his master has no threat on being back

Anyway, looking forward for the next ones, AND for the fics that haven't been finished up by other peeps x.x
nickers is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to nickers For This Useful Post:
KiddJutsu (10-21-2012), Vishnu (10-20-2012)
Old 10-20-2012, 03:53 AM   #1237
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nickers View Post
Vishnu, that was outstanding. I'm only sad we won't get pictures of this hehe
Looking forward for next chapters.
Few things on my mind tought, you said it is not Naruto related, but erm.. Celest City? Will be hard no to relate that to your previous fanfic, another one.. Don't know if you will make this fic long or not, but on mangas at least im used to read, the character is not really proficient on anything at all, he builds it, and Claude as you've presented seems like an already well built one.
I'm only thinking that he is not the main one as it'll be Max and the girl. Claude will be those other 2 sensei and they could somewhere on a farway timeline surpass their own teacher since Claude tells the Asclose guy is there to kill the both i just mentioned to make sure his master has no threat on being back

Anyway, looking forward for the next ones, AND for the fics that haven't been finished up by other peeps x.x
Well, i know it's hard to not relate it to my previous fanfics, but it's an enitrely new setup. This is the story that i had in mind before i started the Naruto fanfics. In those i just took elements from this story and adapted it to fit with my previous fanfics. Also, about Claude...my writing style is different than the one used in a manga. Also there isn't a main character. The story will be fragmented between Claude, Arinasa and Max. Each one of them is the main character. Also, here, the plot is much, much more complexe with many twists. Anyway, thank you for the observations, and i'm glad that you enjoyed it.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Vishnu For This Useful Post:
Numinous (11-27-2012)
Old 10-20-2012, 09:07 AM   #1238
nickers
Academy Student
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Florianópolis
Posts: 5
Thanks: 0
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
nickers is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Ok got it. And if possible a bit more eager for the continuation x.x
Guess until it comes up I'll resume my Dance of Dragons reading ^^

Many more twists? Oh this will be interesting haha

And btw.. why don't you try to take your writting and ideas to some pro level and see how it goes? You like doing it so much and do so well that you should consider making a life on it
nickers is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to nickers For This Useful Post:
Vishnu (10-20-2012)
Old 10-20-2012, 05:29 PM   #1239
Bazooka_Joe
Genin
 
Bazooka_Joe's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Poland
Posts: 78
Thanks: 601
Thanked 23 Times in 13 Posts
Bazooka_Joe is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Great reading as always. I dont even mind Celest City. It was your idea to begin with so i dont see problem in using it other fanspred.The one and only problem is the length of it:P simply to short;]i'd like to know more bout the characters and all
Bazooka_Joe is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Bazooka_Joe For This Useful Post:
Vishnu (10-21-2012)
Old 10-21-2012, 02:54 AM   #1240
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

This was just the first chapter. I didn't make it too long because i wanted to see how you guys appreciate it first. Thank you for the good words!
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-21-2012, 11:27 AM   #1241
KiddJutsu
Sannin
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 245
Thanks: 468
Thanked 195 Times in 141 Posts
KiddJutsu is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vishnu View Post
This was just the first chapter. I didn't make it too long because i wanted to see how you guys appreciate it first. Thank you for the good words!
Being that I was avid reading your first fan fic I'm partial to the Vishnu character. What I gather is that this is a more future driven story given that Celest City exists, Vishnu is over 10,000 yrs old, and has requisite skills already to work with. Love the writing, although I'd say no need to be so extreme with some details like the sword description. That part I'd save for describing the abilities and history of our main characters in the story. But the imagery starting your first chapter is pretty killer. It's hard not to be drawn into the action when a classroom teacher gets gutted out the gate lol.

So questions:
When do we get background?
What's the theme on character abilities? Is it more conventional weapons like swords, bullets, etc. Or are we tapping from Naruto and combining with other stuff? I'm eager to see where you go with that.
What type of time period is it? I guessed more futuristic past Naruto but it wasn't stated. Just a few as you get us back started on something fresh.
Thanks for the return.
__________________
Two fingas like a playa!!
KiddJutsu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to KiddJutsu For This Useful Post:
Vishnu (10-21-2012)
Old 10-21-2012, 11:29 AM   #1242
KiddJutsu
Sannin
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 245
Thanks: 468
Thanked 195 Times in 141 Posts
KiddJutsu is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

As for N360, J_H, Jericho: Very much wanting to read from your guy's stories. They've been missed. Although Jericho has been coming strong on his predictions though.
**Sorry for the double post. My first in a couple weeks.
__________________
Two fingas like a playa!!
KiddJutsu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to KiddJutsu For This Useful Post:
Narut0360 (10-22-2012)
Old 10-21-2012, 02:34 PM   #1243
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
Being that I was avid reading your first fan fic I'm partial to the Vishnu character. What I gather is that this is a more future driven story given that Celest City exists, Vishnu is over 10,000 yrs old, and has requisite skills already to work with. Love the writing, although I'd say no need to be so extreme with some details like the sword description. That part I'd save for describing the abilities and history of our main characters in the story. But the imagery starting your first chapter is pretty killer. It's hard not to be drawn into the action when a classroom teacher gets gutted out the gate lol.

So questions:
When do we get background?
What's the theme on character abilities? Is it more conventional weapons like swords, bullets, etc. Or are we tapping from Naruto and combining with other stuff? I'm eager to see where you go with that.
What type of time period is it? I guessed more futuristic past Naruto but it wasn't stated. Just a few as you get us back started on something fresh.
Thanks for the return.
Thank you for the opinion. I really appreciate it. Now to answer your questions:

The backround on each character will be revealed as the story goes on. Obviously the backround on Claude/Vishnu will be the most hard to get in the first chapters. Glimpses of his past will be slowly revealed.

The theme on character abilities is various. As you said there will be used conventional weapons such as swords, firearms, but some of the characters will also possess supernatural abilities, such as wind bending or fire manipulation. There won't be any seals, or handsigns used. The attacks will be different from Narutoverse, and much more Bleach/ Fullmetal Alchemist oriented. Of course that some elements will be borrowed even from my previous fanfics, because they are definitory for the upcoming characters that i will introduce.

The timeline...the action is set in the modern days, using realistic events and characters, such as various organizations, personalities, landmarks and events happening around the world. From time to time, the action will tap into the past, in the history. The world war two, the Roman Empire, the Genghis-han era, the old Testament. Many topics will be reached in this work, and i can guarantee this: the plot is very complex, intricate better said. Lots of characters will be introduced, and each action that one does, will affect the future events. Themes like religion, philosophy, literature, music, art, politics will get "touched". I'm hoping to make this story one that is able to call itself a novel. And i'm sure that with your help guys, and with your reviews, we will be able to this story wonderful.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Vishnu For This Useful Post:
Numinous (11-27-2012)
Old 10-22-2012, 01:00 PM   #1244
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The second chapter is up.


Chapter two: Legends alive!

The panel shows Asclose who backs down, shattered by fear.*

Claude is shown smiling.*
Asclose: You just said that your name...but it's impossible!!! Lord Vishnu is dead! He is been dead for at least 1000 years !!!
Claude: Is he? As far as i know, i'm still alive and well, Asclose...
Asclose: You're lying! Lord Vishnu was killed during the First Crusade, at the Siege of Jerusalem! I saw him die! I saw him!!!*
Claude: Are you sure that you memories are not deceiving you? Do you really belive that a mere sword, a mere blade can bring me down?
Asclose: I saw how Godfrey of Bouillon impaled Vishnu in his heart! You are just a liar!*
Claude starts laughing: Godfrey of Bouillon ! A funny character. He actually thought that he killed me back then.*
Asclose: Then tell me something...why would Lord Vishnu fake his own death? Why would he deceive everyone?
Claude: Because i knew that this day would come. I knew that you were going to come after her. And after him. The Prophecy will take place!!!
Suddenly another voice is heard. From the door, another man enters the room. He is wearing an elegant suit, with white shirt and red tie. His whole appearence is an outstanding one. On his left hand, he wears a ring with a diamond. He is using a cane to walk. The top of the cane has a dragon head on it. His hair is grey, slicked back, medium lenght and his eyes are blue.
Unknown man: Hello Claude. Long time no see.
Claude changes his posture when he sees the man. He takes himself an elegant posture and makes a small reverence.
Claude: Arthur...indeed. Long time no see.
Arthur also responds with a reverence, showing his respect for Claude, even though the age difference is obvious, between the two men.
Asclose is again shocked.
Asclose: Lord Arthur!!! You shouldn't have comed yourself here!
Arthur: And why not Asclose? You should go away. This is above your level of understanding. Claude's claim is true. He really is our dear Lord Vishnu.
Asclose: Understood, Lord Arthur. Then i shall leave you...
Arthur smiles: Good.*
Asclose waves his hand, and the two men left alive leave the room with him.
Claude: Farewell, Asclose...until we meet again!
Arthur turns around and looks at Claude.
Arthur: Well...which name do you prefer? Vishnu, or Claude?
Claude smiles: I think that i like Claude better. It's more...human.
Arthur: Well then, my dear Claude...how are you?*
Claude: Fine Arthur. I'm trying to save this girl's life. I guess that you are here to make sure that i won't succeed.
Arthur laughs: Indeed. Indeed. That's exactly why i am here. You know the implications of letting her alive.*
Claude: I'm sorry to disappoint you, Arthur. I have made my choice a long time ago. I will protect her. No matter what. No matter who is going to stand in my way.*
Arthur: If i recall well, you were the one that was against the Prophecy in the first place, Claude. What happend? What changed your mind?
Claude: The reality. The world is rotten. And why is that? Did you ever asked yourself, Arthur?*
Arthur: Because the mankind is corrupted. Obviously.
Claude: I used to think that too. But not too long ago i reached a different conclusion. It's rotten because of us. The Gods. We made it that way. We constrained the humans to belive in us. If they lack the answer to a question, they turn to us. All the mysteries that are not yet understand by the human mind, are related to our kind.
Arthur: And your solution would be to wipe out our kind from the face of the Earth? Do you imagine the chaos?
Claude: No, Arthur. I imagine the peace. Don't you remember how beautiful was the life when you were just a king? King Arthur...it was better than Lord Arthur.
Arthur smiles: Well, it's Merlin's fault. He corrupted me. He brought me into your world.
Claude: And you have been a valuable asset my friend. Now...don't turn against me. Come with me. Help me.
Arthur smiles menacing: I'm sorry Claude...i really am. But just as you did, i have made my choice. The girl shall die. The Gods shall survive. We will not be brought down by a mere child.
Claude smiles too menacing: You're naive, Arthur. You are much, much younger than me. You fail to see the entire picture.
Arthur: And if you're not able to show it to me, Claude what should i do?*
Claude: I'm sorry that you're so blind that you need me to show you.
Arthur: Then...i guess that this is it.*
Claude takes a subtle battle stance. He positions himself in front of Arinasa protecting her. Arthur slowly raises his cane, pointing it at Claude.
Claude smiles: I see that you're still adept with your cane.
Arthur laughs: One doesn't change his nature so easily!
Claude to Arinasa: Stay behind me. No matter what happens. It's the only place where you're safe. Got it?
Arinasa confused: I got it!
Claude turns his head and looks at Arthur.
Claude: Shall we?*
Almost instantly from the tip of Arthur's cane giant flames emerge. Flames that are pointed at Claude, Arinasa and Max. As the flames are getting closer and closer, Claude is shown focusing his eyes on the fire. Just a moment before he gets striked down, a powerful gust of wind appears and cuts through the fire.
Arthur: I'm impressed. You can still summon the wind. Even though we are in the human world, and you're holding back, you are still impressive Claude.
Claude: Your fire manipulation is not any lesser, Arthur.
Max gets suddenly up and goes near Claude.
Max: I will help you beat this guy!!!
Claude looks at him with an amused face.
Claude: Sit down, Max. You're no match for Arthur.*
Arinasa almost screaming: Who is this guy?!? What's going on?!?
Claude looks at Arthur and smiles: A moment please. I must explain the situation. Do you mind?
Arthur: Of course not. It's a gentleman's job.
Claude turns around and looks at Arinasa.
Claude: Well...it's complicated. A long, long time ago, there was a prophecy made. And you're part of it, love. That's why, here, today...these people came to kill you. And about this man...he's name is Arthur. He is known in the legends as King Arthur, ruler of the Camelot.
Arthur smiles: That was a long time ago, my friend.
Claude shifts his attention to Arthur again. This time he is serious.*
Claude: Max. Prepare to take Arinasa.*
Max: Take her where?!?
Claude: You shall follow me. When i give the signal, run towards the door as fast as possible, and wait for me outside. In the parking loot.*
Max: Got it!
Claude: Now...Arthur...are you ready?
Arthur smiles: It was about time.*
At the same moment both men make one step forward. Claude takes out his sword, and Arthur strenghtens the grip on his cane.
Claude almost whispering: Release...Sciffer....
Suddenly his sword gets runned by electrical surges. At the same moment, Arthur's cane bursts on fire.
Claude: Max...take Arinasa out. Stay away from the building and wait for me in the parking loot. Are we clear enough? If you don't follow my instructions, you will be killed.
Max with determination: Got it Claude!!! Let's go Arinasa!
Arinasa: NO! What about you Claude?!?
Claude smiles with determination: Don't worry about me. Get out of here. Now!
The panel shows Max grabbing Arinasa and exiting the amphitheatre. Claude is shown facing Arthur.
Claude: Hey Arthur...do you remember why i was feared during my reign?
Arthur: Because of the legends that the Dark General gave birth.
Claude: That's what everyone thought back then. But that is not the real answer. I was the Dark General but that was a different step in my evolution. No...i was feared because nobody alive knew my abilities. My real abilities. Because each time, one got the chance to see a glimpse of my power, that man died. I killed everyone that managed to make me use a fraction of my power.
Arthur: And your point is?
Claude with a menacing glare: You're about to witness my power...Arthur...
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Vishnu For This Useful Post:
KiddJutsu (10-22-2012), Numinous (11-27-2012)
Old 10-22-2012, 01:00 PM   #1245
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The scene shows Max in the open space near the building. He is going towards the parking loot with Arinasa.

Arinasa: What do you think that is happening in there?!? Have we went insane?!?
Max: Arinasa...we just witness how our teacher got killed by those men. We both got grabbed and traveled at least 10m in a second. Those people were wielding swords. One of them tried to decapitate you, but Claude appeared almost instantly and severed his arm like it was nothing! Also...the conversations...is this real?!?
Suddenly an explosion is heard and the building behind them bursts on fire!*
Arinasa is heard shouting: Claude!!!!
From the rooftop another explosion is heard and a man appears on the top of the flming building. He jumps from almost 20m distance, and lands in an elegant manner. The panel shows an unscathed Claude that is smiling.
Claude: What happend?
Arinasa shocked: How did you...?!?
Claude: I'll explain it on the way. Now...i need to do something.
He places his hand on the ground and suddenly a flash of light is seen. A hologram on a teen boy appears. The boy has spiky red hair and a cocky attitude.
Boy: Vishnu...
Claude: Please, reffer to me as Claude, Robert.
Robert: Got it. What's up?
Claude: Send the team. I want twenty of our men at their families. I want their relatives protected and evacuated as soon as posible. Asclose made contact today.
Robert: Well, Asclose isn't much of a threat.
Claude: Arthur came with him.
Robert shocked: Arthur?!? Arthur himself?!? And what did you do?
Claude: I killed him. At least i hope so. Because of the smoke i couldn't see if i striked his heart or just his chest.
Robert: True...that fire ability of his was always a pain in the ass.
Claude: Nevertheless i want twenty of our guards at their houses. Protect the families.*
Robert: Got it, Claude. What about you?*
Claude: Send my one of my cars. Teleport it at my coordinates. Send me the Sesto.
Suddenly a flash of light is seen. Max and Arinasa look behind them and shock is written on their faces.
Max barely speaking: That is your car? That?!?
Arinasa: Woow...
The scene shows a new Lamborghini Sesto Elemento waiting for them.
Claude smiles: Hello beautiful...
He opens the door and looks at the two.
Claude: Get in. Arinasa, you will stay on Max since this baby has only two seats.
The men and Arinasa get in the car and Claude powers the engine. The sound of it is amazing.
Max: I always wished one of these...
Claude smiles: Let's have some music...don't you think?
Arinasa: Wait...where are we going?!?
Claude: To my base. Your families will be there. I will explain everything there.
Claude pushes the music button and soon the song Back in Black from AC/DC is heard.
Claude with admiration: Bitchin...
The last panel shows as he accelerates the car and vanishes from the area.

The panel shows Claude driving on the highway at a very high speed. He executes maneouvers with the car as it's nothing.

Max: Just a curiosity, Claude...how fast are we really going?!?
Claude as he lights a cigarette: Almost 300 km/h. Why?
Max: But...if i recall right...you don't have a license...
Claude laughs: That should be your last problem right now. Actually i have a license, since i drive. Actually, i'm driving *cars since the first one was ever produced.*
Max speechless: Aham...
Arinasa: Were are we going?!?
Claude: To Vienna. There is my base. I shall leave you there Max with your familiy and i will come back for you soon enough. In the meantime, you will stay with Robert, the man that you saw in the hologram. He will explain everything to you.
Arinasa: And where am I going?
Claude smiles: It's a surprise.*

The scene shows Vienna. It's morning. A sleek black Lamborghini stops in front of an old palace. The door opens and a butler appears with Robert next to him. Claude gets out of the car and hugs the young man.

Claude: Robert...explain everything to Max, please. I must go. I'm taking Arinasa to my place. She will be safe there.
Robert: At least you will still be in Europe.
Claude: Indeed. Summon the others please. I want an entire division of the Blue Guard here. They must protect you and Max. In the meantime, until i come back, initiate him please.*
Robert: Understood.
Claude turns around and looks at Max.
Claude: Max, your family is waiting inside. I'm sorry for what happend, but soon you will understand everything. I promise you. Now, until we meet again my friend...
Claude hugs Max and gets back in the car. He throws a look at Arinasa and smiles.
Arinasa: Now...what are we doing?
Claude: Heading towards my place. You will be safe there.
Arinasa: But where is this place of yours?
Claude: Paris, love. We are going to Paris. Also...you might wanna fasten your seatbelt. There are 1240 km until there, and i intend to make that distance in four hours maximum!

The scene shows the George V hotel near Champs Elysee. The Lamborghini stops right in front of it. Immediatly a butler appears and opens the door for Arinasa. Claude also exits the car and he throws the keys to the butler. Arinasa grabs him by the arm and they enter the hotel. They are headed towards the reception where a mid-aged man with grey hair is waiting for them.

Man: Bonjour, Lord Claude. Welcome back to George V.
Claude smiles: Bonjour Gèrard. How are you my friend?
Gèrard: I'm thrilled to see you again my Lord. What brings you back to the City of Lights?
Claude: As always...bussines.
Gèrard: And yet i see that you are going to mix it with pleasure this time, my Lord?
Claude: No, Gèrard. No. Just bussines.*
Gèrard: Understood. My apologies my Lord. Now...i have already prepared the rooms. Master Robert gave me a call. The Imperial Apartament is waiting as always.*
Claude as he throws 20 bills of 500 euros on Gèrard's desk: Thank you my friend. Arinasa, let's go.
Arinasa whispers in his year: Did you just paid 10.000 euro for our room?!?
Claude laughs: No love, that was only Gèrard's tip.*
Arinasa shocked: Who are you?!? You drive a Lamborghini and you just left a 10.000 euro tip?!?*
Claude: Well love, when you live as long as i did, money...is never a problem.*

Soon they enter the Imperial apartament and Arinasa is furthermore shocked. Everything is luxury. Paitings, statues, fine leather couches, the sealing is painted in an abstract mode, *the curtains are dressed in Swarowski crystals.*

Arinasa: Wooww...
Claude: I'm glad that you like it. Now...sit down. We need to talk.
Arinasa: I'm all ears.
Claude takes out his pack of cigarettes. He lights a Davidoff and smiles.
Claude: Let me start with this: the world as you know it...is a lie. From an unknown time, superior beings have existed. Like me. We don't know where we are coming from...we don't know what our purpose is...we know nothing. Some of us posses different abilities, like the fire manipulation that Arthur has. Some don't. One ability is common. Immortality. We cannot die by normal means. At some point we were all living at peace. But...3000 years ago...a man made a prophecy. A prophecy that changed everything. He said, that there will come a day, when a woman shall bring down the Gods. When she will destroy the foundations of our thrones. At first, i was against this woman. I was prepared to kill her. But soon, i realized what she would mean to the world. A new era...she will represent the dawn of a new era for the human kind. That's why...today we are divided in two factions. The one that want to kill the woman...and us who are protecting her. Arinasa...you are that woman. You shall bring down the realm of Gods. You will end the superiority of some beings. You will release the humanity.*
Arinasa shocked: Me?!?
Claude with a serious face kneels before her: Arinasa...i, Lord Vishnu, Swear to protect you at the cost of life, to teach you everything i know, and to guide you towards your destiny!*
Arinasa: You don't need to be so formal!!!
Claude smiles: Actually i do.
Suddenly a voice is heard.
Unknown man: So you've made the vow...
Claude turns around and looks at the newcomer. The man is wearing a large black jacket and has long grey hair. His whole appearence is the one of a frail old man.
Claude with respect on his face: Hello old friend.
Unknown man: Claude...long time no see.
The two men hug eachother. Claude turns around and looks at Arinasa.
Claude: Arinasa...this man is one of our closest friends. Meet Leonardo Da Vinci!

The end.

As always give me your sincere thoughts guys. You know that i appreciate any criticism. This chapter is just a prelude for what's coming next. It introduced some legendary characters and everything that i wrote will make sense in the upcoming chapters. Even the parts with 10.000 euro tips and Lamborghinis. Trust me. It's not just for show.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com

Last edited by Vishnu; 10-22-2012 at 01:02 PM.
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Vishnu For This Useful Post:
ivhturp2 (10-30-2012), Numinous (11-27-2012)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:34 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.