Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!! - Page 89 - Fandom Forums
Fandom Forums



Go Back   Fandom Forums > Anime & Manga > Naruto Series > Naruto Manga

Naruto Manga Talk about the manga series Naruto here! Remember, this is manga only. No anime!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-25-2012, 05:41 PM   #1321
KiddJutsu
Sannin
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 245
Thanks: 469
Thanked 195 Times in 141 Posts
KiddJutsu is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by luffyus View Post
@vishnu i really like your writings but man why are u adding all this characters from the book off history(darwin,houdini.newton,mozart???w tf man seriously?)? when are u going to add saddam hussein or George W BUsh in your fiction?
Are you fuckn for real! Keep this bullshit to yourself. I tolerate some dumb shit in this forum but get the hell outta here with this nonsense. This a FANFIC, emphasis on fiction dipshit. You are required to be here reading something you find weird. Keep the shit to yourself dummy.

Vishnu, when is the next installment up sir?
__________________
Two fingas like a playa!!
KiddJutsu is offline   Reply With Quote


Old 11-25-2012, 05:59 PM   #1322
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
Are you fuckn for real! Keep this bullshit to yourself. I tolerate some dumb shit in this forum but get the hell outta here with this nonsense. This a FANFIC, emphasis on fiction dipshit. You are required to be here reading something you find weird. Keep the shit to yourself dummy.

Vishnu, when is the next installment up sir?
In a couple of hours my friend. Probably in one hour to be more exact. Thank you.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2012, 06:05 PM   #1323
KiddJutsu
Sannin
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 245
Thanks: 469
Thanked 195 Times in 141 Posts
KiddJutsu is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vishnu View Post
In a couple of hours my friend. Probably in one hour to be more exact. Thank you.
Looking fwd to it.
__________________
Two fingas like a playa!!
KiddJutsu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to KiddJutsu For This Useful Post:
Vishnu (11-26-2012)
Old 11-25-2012, 06:10 PM   #1324
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Chapter three: Friend or enemy?!?



The panel shows Robert's castle. Vienna. Everyone gathered there and they are holding a council.

Leonardo: So...what should we do?
Darwin: For the time being, we cannot do anything.*
Newton: It seems that Claude's betrayal destroyed what was left of the Resistence.
Houdini: Claude...was the Resistence.
Henry: We cannot go down. We must do something. Don't tell me that all our struggle was in vain...
Suleyman: It seems so.
Mozart: I...i am so angry...i cannot belive that he simply tossed us away.
Max: Did we ever mean anything to him?
Robert and Arinasa remain silent as the group discuss.
Henry: I propose this: why don't we hunt down the enemy Aerhis and Duodenae? You know, like Freud, Rasputin and why not...Flamel. That should give us something to do, until we figure it out what will we do against Claude.
Darwin: It's actually a good idea...
Robert sighs: No it's not...don't you see...we have...lost the war. We have lost everything that we stand for. Claude was our leading flame. He was the reason why we all kept going even though the threats were great. Now...what are we fighting for? Tell me...if any of you holds the answer, please share it with me. What are we fighting for anymore? We were used...we meant nothing to him. I cannot belive what he just did. I cannot accept it. I don't want to accept it. But i will have to deal with it. It's my own problem. My advice to you: go and live your lives. Be free. Forget about everything. Because if we keep going forward, at a certain point we will all die. You saw what happend in the Celest City. We were this close to get killed. We barely escaped. We are no match for the likes of Claude. Not even me, an Eären. I am far from his level. That's life. I accept my condition.
Darwin slams his fist into the table: Are you telling me Robert that i should simply walk away from this?!? I'd rather die fighting those bastards than be a coward!
Robert gets off his chair angered: You are not a coward if you acknowledge your level! You'd rather die fighting who?!? Gabriel? Claude? They would simply tear you apart in an instant? And tell me, Charles...what purpose will have your death at that moment? Do you think that it will inspire anyone?*
Darwin: Fuck you Robert. If you want out, just say it. But don't put me in the same boat with you! I will stand for my principles! And if anyone wants to kill me because of them, let them come! I'm waiting!
Robert: You're an idiot, Charles. You don't grasp the gravity of the situation!
Darwin: Oh, come on Robert. Just admit it! You're afraid of death. We all see this clear enough!
Robert, nervous, punches the table, breaking it: Of course that i'm afraid of the fucking death! You know what's for us, the Eärens after we die?!? I will tell you...nothingness! Void. Empty space. Oblivion. That awaits me. Do you think that i will waste my life so easily? For what?
Darwin: Then tell me what are you living for then!*
Robert is shocked by Darwin's statement, and it's seen on his face.
Darwin continues: All you life, you stand at Vishnu's side! You aided him! His dream became yours! Now you want to abandon?
Robert shouts: My world just shattered! The dream that you are talking about...guess what? I just learned that it was a lie! That i belived in a lie! My entire life is a mistake! How do you think that i feel? I have two choices here...either i forget everything about this and i live an eternity regretting what i have done, or i go with you to war against the Celest City and oblivion awaits me! Try to place yourself in my shoes for a minute Charles!
Darwin: Did you ever considered winning?!?
Robert laughs: Winning?!? Do you realise what you are talking about? Are you insane? You never saw Claude at full power. We are mere bugs compared with him! Should i remind you that he killed a Beyonder? A fucking Beyonder! Without sweating his ass!*
Darwin remains silent.
Robert: And you want me to go against a monster like him? Get real, boy. I have lived 10 times more than you did. I'm not a child so you would lecture me. *
Robert turns around and leaves the room, slaming the door while he gets out.
Darwin gets down in his seat.
Darwin: He is right...
Leonardo: No he is not right. We must fight.
Arinasa: Guys...calm down a little. Let me ask you all a question. Claude's powers are above ours, right?
Suleyman: No doubt about this.
Arinasa: So...why did he bothered fighting us back in the Celest City?
Mozart: I don't get it...where are you going with this?
Arinasa: Well...for a moment it seemed like he was really sorry about fighting us. Like he was hiding something.
Henry: Interesting...it might be true. Knowing Claude...he always kept a secret or two from us.
Harry: But going so far this time...
Max: It means that maybe it's more than it meets the eye.
Newton: Maybe he is protecting us from something...i don't know...
Arinasa with determination: Either way...we must find out! We must confront him!
Leonardo: Arinasa...think about this...if we confront him, he won't tell us. I think that you might be right. But the best decision right now is to wait. Let's ask Robert.
Suleyman: I will go after him.
-20 minutes pass-
Suleyman gets into the room sweating.
Suleyman: I cannot find Robert anywhere!
Leonardo: Maybe he went for a walk or something.
Suleyman: I don't think so...i felt something strange when i got into his room and i checked if any technique was used. A large quantity of residual Azymus was there. Shaped as a...
Darwin suddenly understands: Shaped as a portal!!! He went to the Celest City! He is going to try to kill Claude!
Newton: We must hurry!
Harry: He taught me the incantation for opening the gates!
Leonardo: Wait. We are not going all. Harry is going with Suleyman with Charles, Max and with Me. Henry, Amadeus, Isaac,and Arinasa will stay here.*
Arinasa: I want to go too!
Amadeus: No! If Claude really betrayed us, you are not safe there. Let them go. You will stay here. I'm sorry.
Arinasa: But!?!
Leonardo: I'm sorry but there is no argument here, Arinasa.
Houdini quickly charges his hands with his Azymus then he places them on the ground.
Houdini:*Sigillanda! Celest civitatem! Portas aperire!!!

The scene it's switched. It shows Robert walking on the streets of the Celest City alone. People are getting out of his way. Suddenly another Eären lands in front of him.

Robert: Get out of my way. Now.
Unknown: I'm sorry, but i cannot do that.
Robert: I am going to count to three. If you don't get out of my way, i will eviscerate you.
Unknown: I'm sorry Lord Robert...but i'm here to take you to Lord Vishnu. That's my mission.
Robert: Interesting. So he already knows that i'm here. Fine, take me to him. What's your name?
Unknown: I'm Anubis my Lord.
Robert: Anubis...you're an egyptian Eären, right?
Anubis: Exactly.
Robert smiles: Extraordinary. I'm from Egypt too. *From the period when Osiris was alive. I was present at the battle between him and Vishnu.
Anubis: I was a newborn then, my Lord.
Robert: Interesting...but why are you calling me Lord?
Anubis confused: But...that's your rank!
Robert: Aham. Well then...take me to Vishnu.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vishnu For This Useful Post:
ivhturp2 (11-26-2012), KiddJutsu (11-25-2012), Numinous (11-30-2012), royalmage (11-26-2012)
Old 11-25-2012, 06:11 PM   #1325
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The panel shows Robert. He is already in Secundo mode. He arrives at the top of the tower where Vishnu resides. He enters the grand room. Claude is seen at the window, looking at the City below.

Claude: Hello Robert.
Robert: Vishnu.*
Claude: You haven't called me like that for a long time. I assume that you're here to kill me.
Robert: Correct. But i need some answers first.
Claude: What makes you think that you'll receive any answers?
Robert: Because i deserve answers. I served you my entire life. And it has been a long life, Vishnu.*
Claude: I'm sorry...but i cannot help you. Are you sure that you want to fight me?
Robert as he reveals his sword: Then...i'm sorry too...
Instantly the two men clash above the table. Claude is attacking, while Robert struggles to keep up with his defences. Swing after swing, clash after clash, Claude's elegance, skill and power is seen. While Robert barely manages to parry the attacks.*
Robert thinking: Shit...i cannot defeat him like this...i have to use my power!
Robert suddenly jumps a few steps back and claps his hands.
From the ground, giant branches emerge towards Claude. The latter simply severs them with his sword, and launches himself to attack once again. Robert dodges the slash and claps his hands.
Robert shouts: TERRA!!!ULTIMUM CATACLYSMUS!!!
The whole tower gets violently shaked from its very foundation. Both men gets throwned into the walls. Suddenly a giant explosion is heard and the tower starts falling down.*
Claude manages to get on his feet and he uses the wind to fly through a window. Robert is on his knees smiling. Blood is slowly coming out of his nose and mouth. He exhausted himself.
Robert: You cannot escape this one...Vishnu...
Claude is shown flying away from the tower, but he suddenly stops. He realised what kind of technique Robert used. From the four cardinal points, four branches emerges. Branches larger than anything seen before. One branch longer than 7 km and wider than 10 km. The branches are closing in one to another, crushing the entire City, and sealing it like a clam. Claude lands on the ground and looks at the branches. They formed a dome around the City.*
Claude impressed: Amazing...i never knew that he could do something like this...
And then another explosion is heard. The tower collapsed entirely. And from the middle of it, a giant spike emerged with Robert on top of it.
Robert obviously in a bad shape: Do you know what this technique does, Vishnu?
Claude: Besides destroying my city? No. I don't.
Robert: It seals away the power of every Eären that it's trapped here. Besides me obviously. So guess what...You cannot use your powers anymore.
Claude smiles: So what? Look at you. You're moments away from dying. This technique...it comes with a great risk...the strain that it puts on your Azymus levels...it must be extraordinary.
Robert smiles: It is...but i would never use it on Earth. Because i would die in a matter of minutes. Luckly here, i can use my Secundo powers without restraints.
Suddenly Robert impales the ground with his sword and claps his hands.
Robert: BLADE OF ATHENA! THE BALANCE OF TRUTH!!
Instantly the scene starts spinning with the two men. They instantly find themselves located in a different dimension. A giant balance made of gold appears in front of them.
Claude amazed: Wow. I have never seen the actual dimension. Of course you told me about it, but this place is amazing. Yet, you never told me what really happens here.
Athena's voice: Shut up! I will ask the questions now!
Claude: Questions? What questions?
Athena: I will start with you Robert...how do you feel about Claude's betrayal?
Robert: Sad. Disappointed. Mad. Angry. Frustrated. I feel like my entire life was all a lie. That i followed a dream that turned into a nightmare.*
Athena: Good. Now...first question for Vishnu. How do you feel about Robert coming here to kill you?
Claude smiles: Proud. He is like a little brother to me. I feel proud that he had the guts to come here and confront me knowing that he will most likely die in the process.*
Athena: Good. Robert. Second question. Why did you come here?
Robert with a sad voice: So i can embrace the nothingness. That's why.
Athena: I understand.
Claude thinking: Embrace the void...?!?
Athena: Vishnu. Second question. Do you have an important reason behind your behaviour?
Claude: I do have, Athena. Unfortunately i do have.
Athena: I see. Robert. Last question: Do you think that Charles is right?
Robert: I knew that he was right. I couldn't just accept the truth. I couldn't accept that the man that i had as a role model was actually a traitor.
Athena: Interesting. Vishnu...last question.*
Claude: I am listening.
Athena: Are you good...or evil?
Claude sighs: You see...Athena...nobody is either good or evil. Inside me is a constant battle. Unfortunately. But right now...the good side is winning. Fortunately.
Athena: And with those said my judgement is this: you both answered truthfully to the questions. For the first time, i will not have my sacrifice.*
Suddenly both men get pushed back in the real world. Unscathed both. But Robert being on the brink of death from early.
Claude: An amazing technique you have Robert. You never showed it to me before!
Robert: Because it was supposed to kill you!*
Claude: How it does work?
Robert: If you lie...even a slight lie...Athena drains all your Azymus and she gives it me.*
Claude amazed: Interesting. It's a marvelous attack.*
Robert as he prepares a green wave attack: Yet, you still don't have your powers. Meaning that i will kill you with this!
Robert thinking: I must do it! It's the last Azymus that i have left!
Robert releases the green beam, shouting!
Claude smiles as the beam comes closer and closer. He simply catches it and breaks it with his palm.
Robert shocked falls to his knees.
Robert: But how...!?! You are supposed to be stripped off your powers!
Claude smiles: Remember what you said early. About restraining powers.
Robert as he falls down unconcious: It seals away the power of any Eären...then it means that you are not...
Claude remains silent, smiles and goes next to Robert. He places his hand on his chest, while his palm glows blue. Then he grabs him and puts him on his shoulder.
Claude: Let's get you treated. I gave you enough Azymus from me so you would survive until your receive treatment.*
Claude turns around and looks at the giant branches. He takes out his sword and makes a slash in the air. Suddenly the walls are destroyed from the bottom. As the walls fall down, Claude puts his sword back at his waist.
Claude to himself while holding Robert: Yeah...i am not one.

The scene shows Houdini, Suleyman, Darwin, Max and Leonardo arriving in the Celest City. They are at the outskirts of the city and they look at the remaining roots of Robert's giant branches.

Leonardo: Oh no...what happend here?!?
Suleyman: It seems that we are too late. Robert already engaged Vishnu.
Darwin: And apparently he lost...but i never saw something like this before...look at the City!
Max shocked: Half of it was crushed by Robert's branches! My god, what kind of battle did they had here?!?
Houdini: I don't know...but we must move!
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vishnu For This Useful Post:
ivhturp2 (11-26-2012), KiddJutsu (11-26-2012), Numinous (11-30-2012), royalmage (11-26-2012)
Old 11-25-2012, 06:11 PM   #1326
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The panel it's switched. It shows Vienna. Robert's castle. Arinasa is with Henry, Newton and Mozart.*

Henry: So...now what?
Arinasa: We wait. We will decide what we should they when they return.
Mozart: That's good. Let's hope that they will return safe.*
Newton looks on the window.
Newton alarmed: Guys!!! Get over here! Now!
They all go the window, only to see fourpeople waiting for them outside the castle.
Henry: Those are Rasputin, Freud and Flamel!!!*
Flamel's voice is heard.
Flamel: Get out of the castle and confront us! Otherwise you will regret!
Mozart: We will not respond to this. We will stay here. They cannot breach our defences.
Arinasa suddenly realised something: They can! Flamel knows the weak spots of the castle!
Just as she finished saying these, a giant flame hits the castle. A huge explosion occurs, as half of Robert's castle gets destroyed. Arinasa lands on the ground with the three men that she enveloped in water bubbles in order to protect them.
Flamel: Hello, old friends. Long time no see. I'm here for payback. For what you did to me back in Prague. The bullet that Darwin fired at me, kept me away from the battlefield for two weeks. Now it's my turn. And with the events that happend...nobody can protect you anymore!*
Arinasa to the group: Flamel is mine. I am the only one who can deal with him.
Henry: I have Rasputin.
Mozart: Freud is mine.
Newton: I will help you Henry with Rasputin.
Flamel: So gentlemen...shall we?
Arinasa makes a step behind and gathers her Azymus.
Arinasa: Nicholas Flamel. You are bold to come here.
Flamel: Young Arinasa...last time we met, you were severely outmatched. Why do you think that this time will be any different?
Arinasa smiles menacing: You failed to grasp something...did you really thought that i went all out on you last time?*
Flamel: Right back at you.
Flamel puts his white gloves on and smiles.*
Flamel: Are you ready, young girl?*
Arinasa as she takes a battle stance: Come at me bastard!
Flamel waves his hands and blue flames surround Arinasa shaped as a circle. Arinasa quickly projects from her palm a beam of water that she uses as a propulsion beam. She manages to jump from the flames. Arinasa lands exactly in front of Flamel. He attempts to kick her, but Arinasa grabs the man's leg and twists it in a matter of moments, breaking his knee. Flamel falls on the ground shouting, but he uses his cane and manages to get up.
Flamel: You...will pay...for your...insolence!
Flamel releases from his right palm a stream of flames at Arinasa. The latter simply claps her hands and several walls of water appear in front of her, protecting the woman from the attack.
Flamel smiles: You're good. It seems that i have to be serious about fighting you.
Arinasa: Well then...go ahead.*
Flamel smiles and starts spinning his cane.
Flamel: Secundo release...Alchemy power!!!
Flamel himself bursts into blue flames. In a matter of moments his body is seen. He became a monster. His skin and flesh went away. He looks like a skeleton enveloped in blue flames. His leg was healed.*
Flamel with a demonic voice: This is my power. Prepare yourself!!!
Arinasa gulps as she makes a step back.

The scene it's switched. It shows Leonardo, Suleyman, Darwin, Max and Houdini rushing on the streets of the Celest City, towards the ruins of Vishnu's tower. As they reach the ruins they see the magnitude of the battle that took place.

Leonardo: But...where is everyone?!?
Suleyman: Where is Robert!?! Did Claude killed him?*
Houdini: My god...do you imagine what kind of battle took place here?
Max: We need to find Robert, and get out of here!
Darwin turns around and looks behind them.
Darwin with a nervous voice: We don't need anymore to find Robert.
The group turns around and they look at an unscathed Vishnu that just landed near them.
Claude: Hello, everyone.
Darwin: Where is Robert?!? What did you do to him?
Claude: Isn't it obvious? He came here to kill me. He destroyed my City. Yet, he failed to accomplish his mission. That's why i had to take his life.
Suleyman: Bastard! Traitor!*
Claude: Shut up, Sultan Suleyman. He deserved it. Can't you see the devastation that he did?*
Houdini: He was your friend! He adored you! Like you were his god!
Claude: Then why did he took the choice to kill me?
Leonardo: Because you used us all. You shattered our dreams. Our hopes. Our lives. We lived for nothing. We fought, and we have risked our lives countless times for a lie. How that sounds to you?*
Claude: I'm sorry if i deceived you. But, i'm not sorry for killing Robert. Now...you have two options...either you leave the City in one piece, either i won't hesitate and i will take your lives too. It's your choice.
Max: What's this all about Claude? Arinasa came up with a theory that you are actually trying to protect us from something. Is this what you are doing?
Claude: No. I am not. I fooled you.
Leonardo: I don't buy it.*
Claude smiles and places one hand on the ground.
Claude: I don't need you to buy it, Leonardo.*
Suddenly a circle of blue energy appears around the group.
Claude: All i need from you...is to stop interfering in my affairs!

The scene shows Arinasa facing the beastly Flamel.

Flamel makes one step towards her.*
Flamel: This is your end...girl...
Flamel waves his hand and releases a giant wave of blue flames at Arinasa. She tries to block it with water, but the flames consume everything. She jumps several meters back and claps her hands together. Blue energy appears around her palms, and forms a sword.
Arinasa: Venus release!!!
She now summoned her blade.
Flamel: I am impressed. You managed to summon your own sword. It's quite a feat.
Arinasa: Wait until you see what i can do!
Arinasa impales the ground with her sword.
Arinasa shouting: Venus release! Intense punishment!
From the ground, several high pressurized water beams emerge aimed at Flamel. The man manages to dodge them all. He tries to burn the girl one more time but he fails.
Flamel: Enough! Alchemy release! Demonic judgement!!!
He fires a 100m wide flame at Arinasa.
Arinasa thinking: Crap! There is no other way! I have to dodge this!
Just as the flames are inches from her body, she claps her hands.
Flamel laughs: It's too late girl! The fire will devour even your soul! You cannot escape that!
And his smile is turned into a surprised expression. He looks at his chest. A blade pierced it from behind. Flamel coughs blood.
Flamel: What the...
He looks behind him. An unscathed Arinasa is standing right there. She impaled him.
Flamel barely speaking: But...but how?!?
Arinasa: Ventus...my second element is the wind. I control the water and the wind. I used Ventus to move faster than the speed of sound. That's how i escaped your flames and got behind you so fast. And now...you're dead.
Flamel: I cannot belive...i got killed...by this child...
Arinasa quickly takes out the blade and decapitates Flamel in one move.
Arinasa: Farewell, Nicholas Flamel.

The scene shows Robert in a hospital bed. He is barely concious. He looks at his right where he spots Claude.

Robert: What happend?!? Am I dead?
Claude: No you are not. Everyone thinks that you are, but i sparred your life.
Robert: Why?
Claude: Because there are still things that connect me with you. And i thought about showing some mercy.*
Robert: You should have killed me. I don't need your mercy!
Claude smiles: And yet here you are. Robert, calm yourself down. I proved to you that you cannot kill me. Even if you manage to escape the building, you won't be able to escape the City. I sealed all the portals. I restricted the passage to the City. Nobody can get in. Nobody can get out.*
Robert: But why?!?!
Claude as he becames serious: Because...pretty soon we will be at siege. That's why.
Robert: Siege?
Claude: Goodbye Robert. I will come to see you later.
Claude leaves the room, while Robert is confused. He looks at his hands. Only his right is ties to the bed.
Robert: That bastard...!

The panel it's switched. It shows Claude with Krishna and Gabriel.

Gabriel: Lucifer will arrive soon.
Krishna: I did as you ordered, Lord Vishnu. I sealed all the remaining portals. There is only one portal left, and that's the only one that Lucifer will use.
Claude: Good. Now...prepare the main army. Have them evacuate the citizens to the safe zone.*
Krishna: Aye!
Gabriel: Do you think that he will be that bold to come all the way here, knowing what he is going up against?
Claude: Lucifer wants my brother. He wants the Bringer of Chaos at his command.
Gabriel: Imagine that he needs a lot of power for binding him...your brother, the Bringer of chaos.
Claude with a serios face: Gabriel...you proved your loyalty to me. You must keep me from going against Lucifer as the Dark General! Because if i do that...
Gabriel with a sad voice: Everything will be destroyed...

The end.

The next chapter will be up shortly. In two days at most. Thank you for reading. Also, some questions might appear because of this particular chapter, but the next one will reveal in flashbacks events that happend in this one. Thank you all once again.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com

Last edited by Vishnu; 11-25-2012 at 06:12 PM.
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Vishnu For This Useful Post:
ivhturp2 (11-26-2012), KiddJutsu (11-26-2012), Numinous (11-30-2012), royalmage (11-26-2012), Senpou (11-27-2012)
Old 11-26-2012, 01:16 AM   #1327
ivhturp2
Academy Student
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Hyderabad, India
Posts: 28
Thanks: 374
Thanked 27 Times in 18 Posts
ivhturp2 is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Vishnu, amazing story as usual.
Some critics from my side, if it helps:
You must have kept the battle between Robert & Claude bit longer. Or at-least some emotional dialogues The situation was so emotional and would've been really great if it longed for a while. Nevertheless, it was awesome anyway!

In the "Balance of Truth", it was confirmed that Vishnu had an important reason to behave so. And Robert is usually quick in grasping the situations. So, he must at least have got some doubt after confirming that Vishnu has an important reason. He was too quick to try killing Claude after the "Balance of Truth" without any talk-no-jutsu
ivhturp2 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ivhturp2 For This Useful Post:
Vishnu (11-26-2012)
Old 11-26-2012, 07:10 AM   #1328
luffyus
Academy Student
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 22
Thanks: 53
Thanked 13 Times in 5 Posts
luffyus is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

kiddjustu check youreslf the definition of a fanfiction(wikipedia).
and just to say it you must be an idiot even in the real life why the fuck are you insulting me? and by the way he started with an "crossover" and now he's directing to something else : this is not a fanfiction because he's not respecting the rules of FANFICTION.
luffyus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2012, 08:12 AM   #1329
KiddJutsu
Sannin
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 245
Thanks: 469
Thanked 195 Times in 141 Posts
KiddJutsu is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by luffyus View Post
kiddjustu check youreslf the definition of a fanfiction(wikipedia).
and just to say it you must be an idiot even in the real life why the fuck are you insulting me? and by the way he started with an "crossover" and now he's directing to something else : this is not a fanfiction because he's not respecting the rules of FANFICTION.
Umm, yeah still sounds silly coming from u. Honestly you are the arbiter of fanfiction seeing as you JUST GOT HERE! Vishnu has been at this for some time and if you had some background on things you'd know how this thing here works. Regardless just keep silly sh*t to yourself like that and all will be fine. The main Naruto stuff isn't in this thread ANYWAY. So if you don't like it click out of it. Now I'm done.
__________________
Two fingas like a playa!!
KiddJutsu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to KiddJutsu For This Useful Post:
Vishnu (11-26-2012)
Old 11-26-2012, 09:03 AM   #1330
Numinous
Writing speed: snail
 
Numinous's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Porto, Portugal
Posts: 4,783
Thanks: 8,386
Thanked 11,563 Times in 3,932 Posts
Numinous is a glorious beacon of lightNuminous is a glorious beacon of lightNuminous is a glorious beacon of lightNuminous is a glorious beacon of lightNuminous is a glorious beacon of lightNuminous is a glorious beacon of lightNuminous is a glorious beacon of lightNuminous is a glorious beacon of lightNuminous is a glorious beacon of light
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Oh goody, a discussion between a clueless critic and a vapid yes-man that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

@luffyus: Vishnu made sure that readers knew that he was making various references to historical figures and that he'd draw from various mythos, thus the miscellanea of names. If you didn't get that, it's your damn fault.

@Kiddjutsu: instead of doing a short explanation like I did, you just hung to Vishnu's cock and spouted drivel against luffyus. Sorry to say to you, but you're doing way more harm to every writer in this section by sucking everyone's cock than luffyus by doing his mistaken commentary. Nobody worth their salt likes a yes-man because a writer's priority isn't what's he's doing right, it's what they're doing wrong and how can they fix it. So, if I were you, I'd come up with a short list of what's wrong with Vishnu's fiction rather than saying "moar". I know you want to say "moar", but you're giving a negative feedback by doing so.
__________________
My writings and ramblings:

Water of Ocean Darkest Chapters: 1 - 2
Weaver Chapters: 0 - 1 - 2 - 3







Numinous is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Numinous For This Useful Post:
Vishnu (11-26-2012)
Old 11-26-2012, 09:30 AM   #1331
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by luffyus View Post
kiddjustu check youreslf the definition of a fanfiction(wikipedia).
and just to say it you must be an idiot even in the real life why the fuck are you insulting me? and by the way he started with an "crossover" and now he's directing to something else : this is not a fanfiction because he's not respecting the rules of FANFICTION.
I see your point when you say that it's not a fanfic, and you are correct. But your comment was related strictly to the name of the characters. You didn't offered though a valid reason, or criticism towards that. You just said: fuck man, i don't like it. I understand that, i don't expect everyone to like what i write. Also, i started with a "crossover" as you say, but that was done. I finished it, in case you didn't notice. And if your main concern it's related simply to the term that i have used: Fanfiction...i'm sorry mate but i have to tell you that you're an idiot. And i have reason to insult you. Come back please when you have a decent criticism and tell me what i did right or wrong, and i will gladly accept it, because it helps me evolve. But if you simply come here to tell me that i should use the so-called " rules" of a fanfic, please don't return. We won't miss you.

Also, Kidd, thanks for standing up for me, but you don't need to get angered because of this guy. If he has something clever to say about my work here, it's fine with me. If he doesn't just ignore him. There is no need for insults from the readers. I can deal with him.

Now for ivhturp2: Yeah i know that i rushed that part too much and it's my fault there. I focused too much on the action rather than the dialogue. And with the risk of spoiling a bit: don't worry. That's not the last battle that Claude will have with Robert. That whole "status quo" is about to change. If you noticed, Vishnu/Claude just sealed the entrances in the Celest City. All of them, but one. Currently Claude is in the Celest City with Robert. Leonardo, Darwin, Max, Suleyman and Houdini had an unknown fate. The next chapter will show what really happend to them. Also, on Earth, Arinasa, Henry, Newton and Mozart will have their own share of troubles. They are not done yet with Freud and Rasputin. I only showed Arinasa's battle. And there is still Amaterasu who declared his animosity towards Vishnu's regime. Don't forget about him. The next chapter will reveal a bit about the mistery behind Vishnu's brother, The Bringer of Chaos. Who he really is and why he was locked away. Also, Lucifer is going to make an appearence. His first appearence. And he is way different than what Claude expects. Trust me, the next one will be interesting. Oh, i almost forgot. People will die. Important people.

Thank you for the reading, and as always hit me with everything you got, either if it's appreciation or criticism. But please, don't behave like the guy who proved his ignorance.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com

Last edited by Vishnu; 11-26-2012 at 09:42 AM.
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Vishnu For This Useful Post:
ivhturp2 (11-26-2012), Numinous (11-27-2012)
Old 11-26-2012, 11:36 AM   #1332
jekyl_hyde
Hunter-Nin
 
jekyl_hyde's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,362
Thanks: 763
Thanked 1,248 Times in 521 Posts
jekyl_hyde is on a distinguished roadjekyl_hyde is on a distinguished road
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Wow... been working on my story a bit while I have a little time, and I jump on here to see we have somewhat of a small flame war.

I haven't had a chance to read vishnu's story yet, so I won't comment on that part, nor defend kidd or respond to num.... but what I will comment on is this: You know the world is in bad shape when "fanfiction" has a f'n wikipedia page and a set definition. I mean the second part of the word is flippin' fiction.
jekyl_hyde is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jekyl_hyde For This Useful Post:
Numinous (11-27-2012), Vishnu (11-26-2012)
Old 11-26-2012, 12:28 PM   #1333
Vishnu
Hunter-Nin
 
Vishnu's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Romania
Posts: 1,328
Thanks: 1,857
Thanked 2,172 Times in 789 Posts
Vishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enoughVishnu will become famous soon enough
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jekyl_hyde View Post
Wow... been working on my story a bit while I have a little time, and I jump on here to see we have somewhat of a small flame war.

I haven't had a chance to read vishnu's story yet, so I won't comment on that part, nor defend kidd or respond to num.... but what I will comment on is this: You know the world is in bad shape when "fanfiction" has a f'n wikipedia page and a set definition. I mean the second part of the word is flippin' fiction.
My thoughts exactly. If he has something to criticize it should be my work.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
Check out the new fanfiction bloghttp://celestcity.blogspot.com
Vishnu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2012, 06:21 PM   #1334
KiddJutsu
Sannin
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 245
Thanks: 469
Thanked 195 Times in 141 Posts
KiddJutsu is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Num - yet another instance where I believe you or somebody not directly involved in something. Granted I did the same but I was just short fused about the silly ass comment I read a responded. Now in regards to your comments on me, sounds like another dose of bullsh*t. For starters if you read anything I've posted to this forum about his fanfic I include questions, give my commentary, offer my opinion on similarities from strong mangas, and tell him good job. Not sure why you always referenced male genitalia but hey it is what it is. And why are you so concerned what I do in regards to others stories? Still haven't figured that out yet but whatever.

Bottom line, didn't wanna read that nonsense from a guy who literally was here 5min asking dumb sh*t to the highest order. Too strong a response maybe, valid. You feeling the need to mention me with obvious inaccuracies, ridiculous and above all unnecessary.

Hell I've about your story before but you've put nothing up about. It seemed to be something. So how about putting the focus there so somebody can post something stupid about it too. Thought I'd gotten passed this sh*t from a couple of you folks who deem it necessary to butt-in with that level of flagrantness. Hopefully this sh*t is done.
__________________
Two fingas like a playa!!

Last edited by KiddJutsu; 11-26-2012 at 06:23 PM.
KiddJutsu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-26-2012, 06:28 PM   #1335
KiddJutsu
Sannin
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 245
Thanks: 469
Thanked 195 Times in 141 Posts
KiddJutsu is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vishnu View Post
I see your point when you say that it's not a fanfic, and you are correct. But your comment was related strictly to the name of the characters. You didn't offered though a valid reason, or criticism towards that. You just said: fuck man, i don't like it. I understand that, i don't expect everyone to like what i write. Also, i started with a "crossover" as you say, but that was done. I finished it, in case you didn't notice. And if your main concern it's related simply to the term that i have used: Fanfiction...i'm sorry mate but i have to tell you that you're an idiot. And i have reason to insult you. Come back please when you have a decent criticism and tell me what i did right or wrong, and i will gladly accept it, because it helps me evolve. But if you simply come here to tell me that i should use the so-called " rules" of a fanfic, please don't return. We won't miss you.

Also, Kidd, thanks for standing up for me, but you don't need to get angered because of this guy. If he has something clever to say about my work here, it's fine with me. If he doesn't just ignore him. There is no need for insults from the readers. I can deal with him.

Now for ivhturp2: Yeah i know that i rushed that part too much and it's my fault there. I focused too much on the action rather than the dialogue. And with the risk of spoiling a bit: don't worry. That's not the last battle that Claude will have with Robert. That whole "status quo" is about to change. If you noticed, Vishnu/Claude just sealed the entrances in the Celest City. All of them, but one. Currently Claude is in the Celest City with Robert. Leonardo, Darwin, Max, Suleyman and Houdini had an unknown fate. The next chapter will show what really happend to them. Also, on Earth, Arinasa, Henry, Newton and Mozart will have their own share of troubles. They are not done yet with Freud and Rasputin. I only showed Arinasa's battle. And there is still Amaterasu who declared his animosity towards Vishnu's regime. Don't forget about him. The next chapter will reveal a bit about the mistery behind Vishnu's brother, The Bringer of Chaos. Who he really is and why he was locked away. Also, Lucifer is going to make an appearence. His first appearence. And he is way different than what Claude expects. Trust me, the next one will be interesting. Oh, i almost forgot. People will die. Important people.

Thank you for the reading, and as always hit me with everything you got, either if it's appreciation or criticism. But please, don't behave like the guy who proved his ignorance.
Not a prob. And I didn't really see it as a defense moreso aggrevation from fresh meat. I was in that position as a new poster earlier this year but if I'd have done something that clearly stupid I'd have deserved a shot across the thread.

Looking forward to that next installment. I'm looking for all that clarification you mentioned plus hopeful some idea on the brother of Claude and ability progression of Arinisa and Max.

**Forgive the double post
__________________
Two fingas like a playa!!
KiddJutsu is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to KiddJutsu For This Useful Post:
Vishnu (11-26-2012)
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:04 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.