Shrike

The problem that I have with chicks in this "friendzone" talk is that they keep being like: "men are pigs, why cant i find someone who will really appreciate me for who i am?" (even though she is a dumb fuck who goes around dressed like a slut and expects people to like her personality) and then there is a guy who actually does respect them and he gets friendzoned. That's why there are butthurt friendzoned guys out there.

Oh and girls get friendzoned too? I may have heard once of that myth happening to someone who knows someone who knows someone who knows me.

Playa

Friend zone?
I assume every girl I talk to knows we'll bang...eventually...



...I also assume most of the red names follow the same reasoning...



...well except for ACT the spoil sport

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ACt

I'm married with a baby daughter. You know I no longer count.

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It's amazing to me that, unlike in the real world, people on the internet will wear "everyone thinks I'm a moron" as a badge of honour.

01purple

Girls get friendzoned all the time. The weird ones that DON'T dress like trashy whores that are into the "jerk" guys, the plebs who follow the big-dick artistry of life, are the most common victims. These girls follow them around like puppies and basically turn into coat hangers for guys that have an "I don't want to bang you, but I'll gladly let you be a third wheel."

Friendzoning is retarded. If you like a chick fucking let her know or that's exactly where you'll be. (Not directed toward you, by the way, I'm speaking generally. XD )

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"YOU, I HAVE SEEN THE OCEAN!"

~Holo

T9F

Agree with purple on lady friendzoning. Also I think we deal with it a little bit different. Guys are all, "What's wrong with her, I'm so nice and she still doesn't like me!" and girls are all, "I'm so nice and he still doesn't like me, so there must be something horrifically wrong with ME."

Scientia

That's not how I grew up with the term. For me it's always meant that there's two people who are close, but one wants to be romantically close while other doesn't, and everything has been talked about already and both know how each other feel, etc. That's how I've always seen it used until I became a regular on the internet. I've even seen Demi's definition before the "woman likes jerks" bit. Of course, I'm convinced that you'd agree that how I grew up with it is a good use for the term, just saying how I'm used to it.


Eh, I don't think one interpretation of the phrase should mean the phrase as a whole should get a bad wrap. Even if it is contended that it's the most popular use.... which I think is something that needs to be proved. Especially considering that there's 7 billion people on the planet- variation is abundant.

Not to mention, ACT, I'm not so sure that is necessarily the context in why it was invented. I think its origin's or popularization's context had more to do with the idea of it being really hard to have a romantic relationship with a girl you've already become friends with, but maybe you could have had a chance if you made your intentions clear from the beginning. Granted, I haven't seen the episode of Friends that it supposedly coined the term in, so I'm just going off of summary. But anyway, I don't think they were blaming the girl in that context. There's also the fact that in the show they do get together, implying that the girl wasn't really all about hating the nice guy, or whatever, and the problem had more to do with not making your intentions clear.

Anyway, just in case it isn't clear, I completely agree that using the friendzone in the "girls don't like nice guys" context is stupid. Completely. It's really just semantics but whatev, I just kind of like the concept of the friend zone in the way I'm used to using it, that's all. =^p

Haha.

Haha.

I think I might be able to "prove" otherwise through the use of LOGIC.

If the girl doesn't like you in that way, then regardless of whether or not you let her know you like her, you are likely to be in the friend zone. I say likely instead of definitely because she might magically like you if you ask her out, (which I think is kind of shallow if you not asking her out is enough to make her ignore your personality traits, but whatever). If she does like you in that way, and you let her know you like her, then you are not likely to be in the friend zone (no shit, right?). And, if she likes you and you don't let her know, then one of two things will probably happen: She makes her move on you (because she likes you), or she doesn't and she gets friend zoned. And then you are both in a friend zone equilibrium.

Now, don't misunderstand the point of my "proof." You asserted that if you don't let her know you'll be in the friend zone. What I'm saying is that isn't the only option, and what's more isn't the only logical option when all other scenarios are considered. If she does like you back, then it IS possible for you to get out of the friend zone, regardless of whether or not you tell her you like her. You might go with "girls don't want to ask guys out so it's more likely that you'll be in the friend zone." While there's probably something to that because of biology or whatever, I don't think this is necessarily true and don't think the biological context kicks in for this situation- in a situation where you two are friends and close with each other and she already likes you romantically.

I think that's more true when the friendship isn't established, and a girl and guy are meeting for the first time. It's then that it's unlikely for a girl to ask a guy out. But logically, if they are friends and are repeatedly exposed to each other, and the girl likes him romantically, the chances that she'll eventually break get higher and higher- or at least start becoming on equal ground with that of the guy, like with how the probability of life in the universe, despite being small, had a decent chance at happening due to the sheer amount of times (or high probability for) the potential chance to even happen, through the huge amount of planets or whatever. So with that in mind, the idea that the guy has to be one to move out of the friend zone isn't exactly true. Though I'm in no way defending those who are too much of a pussy to let the girl know their true feelings. In fact, the only meaningful definition of the friend zone in my eyes is when the two have already done so.

Also, regardless of how one feels about the friend zone, I think this video is pretty interesting to watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGK2KprU-To

Edit: Fun fact for anyone who's interested in my name- I share the same first name as the guy who created (or is the primary host of) Vsauce.

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01purple

True, there is the factor of the girl liking the guy back that I didn't consider. From what I've seen and learned through others however, it is very unlikely that a girl will ask a guy out first. Really, it depends on the person, but nowadays it's just the norm for males to make the first move. Though there are exceptions to every rule, of course...

That idea of "friendzone equilibrium" is actually quite tragic... Granted, you have that simple benefit of having a great friendship with someone you admire, but when mutual romantic feelings are involved, it seems almost cruel that two people would be prevented from being with one another due to their own inability to let the other know how they feel. In that scenario, if one person confesses to the other, it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that the other would admit to their own feelings.

The girl-likes-boy scenario seems like the only factor that would actually discount the idea that if you don't let the girl know how you feel one way or another, you will be friend zoned. Even a subtle hint can let a person know that you have an interest in them, and for most, that small spark is enough to spur some sort of feeling towards that person. It's natural to like someone whom you know likes you back more than someone who doesn't (unless there's an intense infatuation involved, rather than sincere feelings), though as I said, it's largely dependent on the person. Everyone is different and responds to things differently. ^_^

I'm going to watch that video right now.

Edit: That was fantastic. I had no idea there was a "scientific" explanation. I love how he veered off the main "friend zone" topic and discussed the way that use of the internet and social networking causes a decrease in people hanging out in the real world.

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"YOU, I HAVE SEEN THE OCEAN!"

~Holo

LonelyNinja

Shut up, hawtness!

Don't mind me, just intoxicated.

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Demi-God

Friendzoned. ^

Eternal Solitude

Thanks guys I get it now. ur comments really helped.
Just one last thing...why is da user names of some members red ?

@Kael
I feel less stupid now xD

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Thoughts & emotions r merely products of minor electronic currents...I'm no different from a machine

01purple

He feels less stupid now.

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"YOU, I HAVE SEEN THE OCEAN!"

~Holo

LonelyNinja

Like a baller.

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Demi-God

-SassyLady-

Highly unlikely if you can't even figure out why their names are in red.

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“Never forget who you are, for surely the world won’t. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.”
-George R.R. Martin (A Game of Thrones)

Tabris

I only read like Half of all that.
I may be the only woman in the world who does this, but i ALWAYS make my intentions for a relationship (friendship or other wise) completely clear after like... two or three conversations, if not the first one. It seriously shouldn't take much longer than that for any woman to know if they are attracted to a dude.


Ladies should know by now that letting a guy do sweet things for you and go to dinner with you is gonna make him expect something she's not looking for or willing to do (sex or a relationship. some dudes just want a relationship)
I'm gonna say that this is mostly the ladies fault.
I think woman need to be straight up like right at the beginning and, for the love of all that is good(!), DO NOT LET HIM PAY FOR ANYTHING! That is called LEADING HIM ON.
Nothing aggravates me more than girls who let dudes they are not interested in pay for shit for them, then whine "I don't know where he got the idea that i might date/bed him, or that those outings were dates."


Guys could also help the situation by, once they recognize that they are interested in the girl, being deliberate and upfront.
If he's just looking to sleep with her then I think "friendzone" doesn't actually apply, as he's not interested in being her friend, so now the relationship is simply terminated.


On the other hand, if you start to have feelings for a long time friend, 100% of the time you should ask if they wanna date you. Why? most people wont because they are afraid of "Risking the friendship." guess what: That friendship is already changed! You've exchanged it for the sentiments that are there now, and you can never go back to what you had before, even if you never confess to your friend.

TL;DR: I've always firmly believed in being upfront about any feelings you may have, boy or girl, (including while you're in a relationship, always tell your significant other if you are unhappy or pleased right away so you can work through the bad together and build a strong relationship... but I digress) and i think that would really help to put a stop to the ridiculous friends zone bitching.

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C&H FTW

official co-owner of the digimon fan club!