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Old 02-23-2013, 01:06 AM   #16066
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Quote:
Originally Posted by ACt View Post
Friend zoning is a horrible excuse for a sentiment. It literally defines it self as "aw, c'mon woman, why won't you just sleep with me like I want you to". Ugh. Kids is fucked up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ACt View Post
Nah. Always see it used between guys "Ah, you got put in the friend zone. That sucks dude." "Yeah, I don't get it - I was totally nice to her. Why do women like jerks?"
That's not how I grew up with the term. For me it's always meant that there's two people who are close, but one wants to be romantically close while other doesn't, and everything has been talked about already and both know how each other feel, etc. That's how I've always seen it used until I became a regular on the internet. I've even seen Demi's definition before the "woman likes jerks" bit. Of course, I'm convinced that you'd agree that how I grew up with it is a good use for the term, just saying how I'm used to it.

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Originally Posted by Numinous View Post
To be honest, I don't blame people for not knowing what friendzoning is. That's probably the most moronic word invented tied with "shawty" and "YOLO", so who doesn't know it is doing themselves a favor.
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Shrike - What I'm saying is the term was invented by and most commonly used by guys who expected sex for just for being nice, as if women were wrong to "friend zone" them. I'm not calling an excuse, I'm saying the whole reasoning behind it is horrible.

That it's caught on and everyone uses it doesn't change what it sprung from.

Eh, I don't think one interpretation of the phrase should mean the phrase as a whole should get a bad wrap. Even if it is contended that it's the most popular use.... which I think is something that needs to be proved. Especially considering that there's 7 billion people on the planet- variation is abundant.

Not to mention, ACT, I'm not so sure that is necessarily the context in why it was invented. I think its origin's or popularization's context had more to do with the idea of it being really hard to have a romantic relationship with a girl you've already become friends with, but maybe you could have had a chance if you made your intentions clear from the beginning. Granted, I haven't seen the episode of Friends that it supposedly coined the term in, so I'm just going off of summary. But anyway, I don't think they were blaming the girl in that context. There's also the fact that in the show they do get together, implying that the girl wasn't really all about hating the nice guy, or whatever, and the problem had more to do with not making your intentions clear.

Anyway, just in case it isn't clear, I completely agree that using the friendzone in the "girls don't like nice guys" context is stupid. Completely. It's really just semantics but whatev, I just kind of like the concept of the friend zone in the way I'm used to using it, that's all. =^p

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Um...does anyone know about my sensei (Stubborn Donkey)
Haha.

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Couple of weeks later, she calls him and is all like "I found a great guy!" (the guys interpret this as "his dick is huge!").
Haha.

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Originally Posted by 01purple View Post
Friendzoning is retarded. If you like a chick fucking let her know or that's exactly where you'll be.
I think I might be able to "prove" otherwise through the use of LOGIC.

If the girl doesn't like you in that way, then regardless of whether or not you let her know you like her, you are likely to be in the friend zone. I say likely instead of definitely because she might magically like you if you ask her out, (which I think is kind of shallow if you not asking her out is enough to make her ignore your personality traits, but whatever). If she does like you in that way, and you let her know you like her, then you are not likely to be in the friend zone (no shit, right?). And, if she likes you and you don't let her know, then one of two things will probably happen: She makes her move on you (because she likes you), or she doesn't and she gets friend zoned. And then you are both in a friend zone equilibrium.

Now, don't misunderstand the point of my "proof." You asserted that if you don't let her know you'll be in the friend zone. What I'm saying is that isn't the only option, and what's more isn't the only logical option when all other scenarios are considered. If she does like you back, then it IS possible for you to get out of the friend zone, regardless of whether or not you tell her you like her. You might go with "girls don't want to ask guys out so it's more likely that you'll be in the friend zone." While there's probably something to that because of biology or whatever, I don't think this is necessarily true and don't think the biological context kicks in for this situation- in a situation where you two are friends and close with each other and she already likes you romantically.

I think that's more true when the friendship isn't established, and a girl and guy are meeting for the first time. It's then that it's unlikely for a girl to ask a guy out. But logically, if they are friends and are repeatedly exposed to each other, and the girl likes him romantically, the chances that she'll eventually break get higher and higher- or at least start becoming on equal ground with that of the guy, like with how the probability of life in the universe, despite being small, had a decent chance at happening due to the sheer amount of times (or high probability for) the potential chance to even happen, through the huge amount of planets or whatever. So with that in mind, the idea that the guy has to be one to move out of the friend zone isn't exactly true. Though I'm in no way defending those who are too much of a pussy to let the girl know their true feelings. In fact, the only meaningful definition of the friend zone in my eyes is when the two have already done so.

Also, regardless of how one feels about the friend zone, I think this video is pretty interesting to watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGK2KprU-To

Edit: Fun fact for anyone who's interested in my name- I share the same first name as the guy who created (or is the primary host of) Vsauce.
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Old 02-23-2013, 01:47 AM   #16067
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Quote:
I think I might be able to "prove" otherwise through the use of LOGIC.

If the girl doesn't like you in that way, then regardless of whether or not you let her know you like her, you are likely to be in the friend zone. I say likely instead of definitely because she might magically like you if you ask her out, (which I think is kind of shallow if you not asking her out is enough to make her ignore your personality traits, but whatever). If she does like you in that way, and you let her know you like her, then you are not likely to be in the friend zone (no shit, right?). And, if she likes you and you don't let her know, then one of two things will probably happen: She makes her move on you (because she likes you), or she doesn't and she gets friend zoned. And then you are both in a friend zone equilibrium.

Now, don't misunderstand the point of my "proof." You asserted that if you don't let her know you'll be in the friend zone. What I'm saying is that isn't the only option, and what's more isn't the only logical option when all other scenarios are considered. If she does like you back, then it IS possible for you to get out of the friend zone, regardless of whether or not you tell her you like her. You might go with "girls don't want to ask guys out so it's more likely that you'll be in the friend zone." While there's probably something to that because of biology or whatever, I don't think this is necessarily true and don't think the biological context kicks in for this situation- in a situation where you two are friends and close with each other and she already likes you romantically.

I think that's more true when the friendship isn't established, and a girl and guy are meeting for the first time. It's then that it's unlikely for a girl to ask a guy out. But logically, if they are friends and are repeatedly exposed to each other, and the girl likes him romantically, the chances that she'll eventually break get higher and higher- or at least start becoming on equal ground with that of the guy, like with how the probability of life in the universe, despite being small, had a decent chance at happening due to the sheer amount of times (or high probability for) the potential chance to even happen, through the huge amount of planets or whatever. So with that in mind, the idea that the guy has to be one to move out of the friend zone isn't exactly true. Though I'm in no way defending those who are too much of a pussy to let the girl know their true feelings. In fact, the only meaningful definition of the friend zone in my eyes is when the two have already done so.

Also, regardless of how one feels about the friend zone, I think this video is pretty interesting to watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGK2KprU-To
True, there is the factor of the girl liking the guy back that I didn't consider. From what I've seen and learned through others however, it is very unlikely that a girl will ask a guy out first. Really, it depends on the person, but nowadays it's just the norm for males to make the first move. Though there are exceptions to every rule, of course...

That idea of "friendzone equilibrium" is actually quite tragic... Granted, you have that simple benefit of having a great friendship with someone you admire, but when mutual romantic feelings are involved, it seems almost cruel that two people would be prevented from being with one another due to their own inability to let the other know how they feel. In that scenario, if one person confesses to the other, it wouldn't be unreasonable to think that the other would admit to their own feelings.

The girl-likes-boy scenario seems like the only factor that would actually discount the idea that if you don't let the girl know how you feel one way or another, you will be friend zoned. Even a subtle hint can let a person know that you have an interest in them, and for most, that small spark is enough to spur some sort of feeling towards that person. It's natural to like someone whom you know likes you back more than someone who doesn't (unless there's an intense infatuation involved, rather than sincere feelings), though as I said, it's largely dependent on the person. Everyone is different and responds to things differently. ^_^

I'm going to watch that video right now.

Edit: That was fantastic. I had no idea there was a "scientific" explanation. I love how he veered off the main "friend zone" topic and discussed the way that use of the internet and social networking causes a decrease in people hanging out in the real world.

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Old 02-23-2013, 02:24 AM   #16068
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

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Originally Posted by T9F View Post
ACt, just take all my nickels. It's just easier if you take them all now so I don't have to keep track of how many I owe you.

I think that girls that allow for guys that they see in a completely platonic relationship do boyfriend-like things for them because they're taking advantage of them are dumb bitches, but when it's just a case of "I can literally never see you as anything past a friend and I'm not leading you on, you're just acting like you own this because you're nice" it's not the girls fault.

It's his fault.

His.

Or hers because ladies get "friendzoned" too.
Shut up, hawtness!

Don't mind me, just intoxicated.
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Old 02-23-2013, 06:50 AM   #16069
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Friendzoned. ^
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Old 02-23-2013, 10:56 AM   #16070
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Thanks guys I get it now. ur comments really helped.
Just one last thing...why is da user names of some members red ?

@Kael
I feel less stupid now xD
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Old 02-23-2013, 01:35 PM   #16071
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

He feels less stupid now.
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Old 02-23-2013, 03:35 PM   #16072
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

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Friendzoned. ^
Like a baller.
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Old 02-23-2013, 06:36 PM   #16073
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

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Old 02-23-2013, 06:48 PM   #16074
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

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I feel less stupid now xD
Highly unlikely if you can't even figure out why their names are in red.
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:56 PM   #16075
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

I only read like Half of all that.
I may be the only woman in the world who does this, but i ALWAYS make my intentions for a relationship (friendship or other wise) completely clear after like... two or three conversations, if not the first one. It seriously shouldn't take much longer than that for any woman to know if they are attracted to a dude.


Ladies should know by now that letting a guy do sweet things for you and go to dinner with you is gonna make him expect something she's not looking for or willing to do (sex or a relationship. some dudes just want a relationship)
I'm gonna say that this is mostly the ladies fault.
I think woman need to be straight up like right at the beginning and, for the love of all that is good(!), DO NOT LET HIM PAY FOR ANYTHING! That is called LEADING HIM ON.
Nothing aggravates me more than girls who let dudes they are not interested in pay for shit for them, then whine "I don't know where he got the idea that i might date/bed him, or that those outings were dates."


Guys could also help the situation by, once they recognize that they are interested in the girl, being deliberate and upfront.
If he's just looking to sleep with her then I think "friendzone" doesn't actually apply, as he's not interested in being her friend, so now the relationship is simply terminated.


On the other hand, if you start to have feelings for a long time friend, 100% of the time you should ask if they wanna date you. Why? most people wont because they are afraid of "Risking the friendship." guess what: That friendship is already changed! You've exchanged it for the sentiments that are there now, and you can never go back to what you had before, even if you never confess to your friend.

TL;DR: I've always firmly believed in being upfront about any feelings you may have, boy or girl, (including while you're in a relationship, always tell your significant other if you are unhappy or pleased right away so you can work through the bad together and build a strong relationship... but I digress) and i think that would really help to put a stop to the ridiculous friends zone bitching.
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Old 02-24-2013, 01:44 AM   #16076
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

I absolutely agree with that bit about leading them on. God, it's horrible when chicks pull that crap and let a guy think they're interested when they aren't. Just plain bitchy.

On a side note... What happened to Miburo? I haven't seen him around on here.
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Old 02-24-2013, 10:14 AM   #16077
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

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Originally Posted by -SassyLady- View Post
Highly unlikely if you can't even figure out why their names are in red.
Why can't I get a straight answer out of u ppl

@Demi God,

Will u plz tell me
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Old 02-24-2013, 01:49 PM   #16078
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

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Originally Posted by Tabris View Post
[COLOR="DarkOrchid"]I only read like Half of all that.
I may be the only woman in the world who does this, but i ALWAYS make my intentions for a relationship (friendship or other wise) completely clear after like... two or three conversations, if not the first one. It seriously shouldn't take much longer than that for any woman to know if they are attracted to a dude.
Actually, it takes a lot more than that for me to know if I'm interested in a dude. I say interested, because physical attraction is one thing, and being interested in dating is a whole different ball game. Just because I think someone is attractive, doesn't mean I'd date them. Three or four conversations is barely what I'd call an acquaintance, much less a potential partner. But that's me. I barely feel like I know a person after three or four outings lol. Well, maybe that has to do with being guarded and assuming that most people are the same, whether they realize it or not.

And if a guy is all like, I want to date you, after three conversations, I pretty much assume he just thinks I'm attractive and though obviously wants to get to know me, he's doesn't know me well enough to really want to date, and I find that it turns me off.

As for letting a guy pay for shit, sure, even if I just want to be friends. As long as I can return the favor at some point, I see no problem in that, regardless if he gets a crush or not. Most guys I'm friends with have shown an interest in me at some point... But they get over it if I'm not interested and the relationship continues or we drift apart. Generally they find someone else and we remain friends.
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Old 02-24-2013, 07:50 PM   #16079
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

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Originally Posted by UchihaTaijiya View Post
Actually, it takes a lot more than that for me to know if I'm interested in a dude. I say interested, because physical attraction is one thing, and being interested in dating is a whole different ball game. Just because I think someone is attractive, doesn't mean I'd date them. Three or four conversations is barely what I'd call an acquaintance, much less a potential partner. But that's me. I barely feel like I know a person after three or four outings lol. Well, maybe that has to do with being guarded and assuming that most people are the same, whether they realize it or not.
I hear whatchu screamin'. People are complicated, commitment is scary, and it's not like dating is supposed to be spr srs anyways. Some people are just worth a cab ride home the next morning. Being hot=/= interesting.
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Old 02-24-2013, 07:57 PM   #16080
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Yup. And from my experience, it definitely takes more than 3 conversations to really determine if someone is interesting, compatible, or even cool, or if they are cray-cray. XD Such a short time and so soon a decision I find to be very strange, sorry Tabs. lol.
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If the elephants have past lives yet are destined to always remember
It's no wonder how they scream
Like you and I they must have some temper

And I am dreaming of them on the plains
Dirtying up their beds
Watching for some sign of rain to cool their hot heads

And how dare that you send me that card when I'm doing all that I can do
You are forcing me to remember when all I want is to just forget you

If the tiger shall protect her young then tell me how did you slip by
All my instincts have failed me for once
I must have somehow slept the whole night

And I am dreaming of them with their kill
Tearing it all apart
Blood dripping from their lips and teeth sinking into heart

And how dare that you say you'll call
When you know I need some peace of mind
If you have to take sides with the animals
Won't you do it with one who is kind

And if the hawks in the trees need the dead
If you're living you don't stand a chance
For a time though you share the same bed
There are only two ends to this dance

You can flee with your wounds just in time or lie there as he feeds
Watching yourself ripped to shreds and laughing as you bleed

So for those of you falling in love keep it kind
Keep it good
Keep it right
Throw yourself in the midst of danger but keep one eye open at night

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