Jokes R Us

Eternal Solitude · 08-26-2012, 11:45 AM

If anyone know a good joke please share

A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc.

The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"

Note: No adult jokes please

**Miburo** · 08-26-2012, 01:33 PM

Are you a dude or a chick?

gringie · 08-26-2012, 01:40 PM

"it" has to be a dude

kael03 · 08-26-2012, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eternal Solitude

Note: No adult jokes please

Two guys walk into a bar...

Fuck you.

Vanity · 08-26-2012, 02:10 PM

Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.

gringie · 08-26-2012, 02:27 PM

@kael it's sad, really sad that this person ES could be a kid posted not to say no adult jokes and you still manage to curse... very academic of you...

kael03 · 08-26-2012, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gringie

@kael it's sad, really sad that this person ES could be a kid posted not to say no adult jokes and you still manage to curse...

Fuck you, like I give a shit.

Quote:

very academic of you...

Um...the word you are looking for is "mature", academic has a completely different meaning. Stop trying to use big words to not look like a dumbass, it's not working.

gringie · 08-26-2012, 02:44 PM

academic should fit for u too genius....and a mature person wouldn't be wasting his time on a fandom forum

**Mal** · 08-26-2012, 07:38 PM

A mature person would realize life is what you make it and not have such narrow ideas of "maturity." As long as you're not a drain on society and avoid interference with the Rights of others then go ahead and do whatever you want.

Eternal Solitude · 08-27-2012, 02:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miburo

Are you a dude or a chick?

Male

Quote:

Originally Posted by kael03

Two guys walk into a bar...

Fuck you.

Why guys why

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

kael03 · 08-27-2012, 03:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eternal Solitude

Why guys why

Because you said not to.

A priest and a rabbi...Fuck you.

Eternal Solitude · 08-27-2012, 05:00 AM

Once a fat man fell from a building and lost conscious,he woke up in a hospital and said wow I'm alive,on this the doctor said yes you are alive but on whom u fell r dead.

Vishnu · 08-27-2012, 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eternal Solitude

Once a fat man fell from a building and lost conscious,he woke up in a hospital and said wow I'm alive,on this the doctor said yes you are alive but on whom u fell r dead.

No comment. Kael your jokes are better. Tell us again the one with the priest and the rabbi.

kluang · 08-27-2012, 05:23 AM

We have found the Karen of the forum

ask me anything · 08-27-2012, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gringie

...and a mature person wouldn't be wasting his time on a fandom forum

So by your on admission you aren't mature, since you are also here.

See what I did there?

Probably not.

08-26-2012, 11:45 AM	#1
Eternal Solitude Maybe ur my luv! Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 62 Thanks: 91 Thanked 12 Times in 10 Posts	Jokes R Us If anyone know a good joke please share A couple were going out for the evening. They'd got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab -"Sorry I took so long" he says, "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!" Note: No adult jokes please __________________ *Thoughts & emotions r merely products of minor electronic currents...I'm no different from a machine* *Love nd Respect Norza & Nora-sama.*

08-26-2012, 01:33 PM	#2
Miburo Deos Fortioribus Adesse Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Valhalla Posts: 3,543 Thanks: 34,417 Thanked 17,643 Times in 5,442 Posts	Re: Jokes R Us Are you a dude or a chick?

08-26-2012, 01:40 PM	#3
gringie my ninja way! Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: near the welfare building Posts: 516 Thanks: 89 Thanked 85 Times in 71 Posts	Re: Jokes R Us "it" has to be a dude __________________ I'll toss your baby with an explosive seal tag on it!!!

08-26-2012, 02:10 PM	#5
Vanity Succumb Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 976 Thanks: 3,432 Thanked 5,983 Times in 2,238 Posts	Re: Jokes R Us Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. __________________ My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me. Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak. What are you thinking of? What thinking? What? I never know what you are thinking. Think.

08-26-2012, 02:27 PM	#6
gringie my ninja way! Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: near the welfare building Posts: 516 Thanks: 89 Thanked 85 Times in 71 Posts	Re: Jokes R Us @kael it's sad, really sad that this person ES could be a kid posted not to say no adult jokes and you still manage to curse... very academic of you... __________________ I'll toss your baby with an explosive seal tag on it!!!

08-26-2012, 02:44 PM	#8
gringie my ninja way! Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: near the welfare building Posts: 516 Thanks: 89 Thanked 85 Times in 71 Posts	Re: Jokes R Us academic should fit for u too genius....and a mature person wouldn't be wasting his time on a fandom forum __________________ I'll toss your baby with an explosive seal tag on it!!!

08-26-2012, 07:38 PM	#9
Mal Scotch Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 3,101 Thanks: 12,855 Thanked 10,825 Times in 3,840 Posts	Re: Jokes R Us A mature person would realize life is what you make it and not have such narrow ideas of "maturity." As long as you're not a drain on society and avoid interference with the Rights of others then go ahead and do whatever you want.

08-27-2012, 05:00 AM	#12
Eternal Solitude Maybe ur my luv! Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 62 Thanks: 91 Thanked 12 Times in 10 Posts	Re: Jokes R Us Once a fat man fell from a building and lost conscious,he woke up in a hospital and said wow I'm alive,on this the doctor said yes you are alive but on whom u fell r dead. __________________ *Thoughts & emotions r merely products of minor electronic currents...I'm no different from a machine* *Love nd Respect Norza & Nora-sama.*

08-27-2012, 05:23 AM	#14
kluang One Punch Man Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 6,419 Thanks: 3,186 Thanked 4,660 Times in 2,100 Posts	Re: Jokes R Us We have found the Karen of the forum __________________ To err is human, to forgive, divine. Humans aren't machines... they have souls, feelings. They live, they die, they love, they hate... And yes, they even make mistakes..... When kluang finds you creepy and wrong then you are beyond horrible. He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Being Malaysian is about driving in a German car to an Indian restaurant for an Indonesian food, then travelling home, grabbing a Pakistani kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. Because we have no originality.

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