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View Poll Results: Should parents be in control of child's future carreer?
I agree that parents should make the decisions 1 2.78%
I think the kids should make the decisions 8 22.22%
I'm half and half...... 27 75.00%
Voters: 36. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 03-28-2007, 09:07 PM   #16
Narutobaka
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

Went ahead and read the whole thing as well.
And yes, am an authorative parent, while Foxx's father is authoritarian. Makes for an interesting dynamic when the parents were raised opposite ways. Foxx's father works during the night as well, and is asleep most of the day. So most of the time my kids have me to deal with. There is an open line of communication between the parents and then between the children and parents. We seem to be doing alright. But my worries come when Foxx gets older.
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Old 03-28-2007, 10:36 PM   #17
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

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Originally Posted by DarkAztek View Post
20 bucks says that nobody but Miburo will read any of that.
Lol.

I think DA and Jaxon hit on this pretty well already, but eh. I too feel that, of the three choices, a style which follows closely to an authoritative style of parenting is probably the best way to go.

Laying down rules and guildlines, as well as punishments for breaking or disobeying them and then following through with them, establishes a good foundation for the understanding of consequences and the importance of obedience (And I'm sure a bunch of other things, probably. ^^). While at the same time, explaining the reason why rules are in place and allowing input from the child(ren) shows them that you're fair, just, and understanding...which in turn enhances their trust and respect for you (and others who act reasonably). This way you can be strict without seeming like a tyrant (Or douchebag, or whatever). To me, that just makes a whole hell of a lot of sense.

And I agree with DA (And I guess Vanity to a degree) when they say parents shouldn't be just friends or guides. Yeah, it's good to have a positive relationship with the kiddies, but at the end of the day the parents are in charge and what they say goes. Using a style of parenting similar to that authoritative style should keep a good parent-child relationship together while keeping the little bastards in-line.
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Old 03-28-2007, 10:45 PM   #18
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

^Yep. An authoritative style of parenting also encourages a child to recognize reason. Why a rule is a rule. Something that I find very important. If everyone just followed rules unquestionably, society would be stuck in the past forever.

EDIT: DA owes some peoples 20 dollars. I read it, too.
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Old 03-29-2007, 07:53 AM   #19
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

half and half....

how to raise a child is somewhat related/like how a president shud raise a country.... it is somewhat logical to hear...

a parent should first become a good model... by becoming one, the child will see it and take example from it, this is somewhat only applicable when the child is juz starting to grow and still has no reason or thinking of what is right and wrong...

a parent should give love and attention, well not all of the parent's attention, that is somewhat impossible and stressfull... the parent must give appropriate attention that the child needs... also shud be appreciative to wat ur child does for u....

a parent should be a teacher... not a disciplinarian... if ur child made a mistake, u shud not right away punish him but shud talk to him first... and now the child knowing that this action is wrong and somehow does it again... well the child has it coming to him... but be more sensible in doing punishments... do only something that the child understands that he/she deserves it...

a parent shud be responsible for his/her actions... shud know the good and consequences of his/her actions... and shud know, if he/she made a mistake and shud immediately admit it.... this is quite difficult coz some parents tend to show their authorithy to children and sometimes will not admit to their mistake...

a parent shud be a, somewhat, a smooth talker ... coz u cannot give ur reasons to a child if ur shouting like hell.... sensitivity has its benefits...

a parent shud be a good businessman... in a family, u shud know how to manage, not only the family budget but also with the other children when dealing with them the benefits/advantages of being a good boy/girl and the disadvantages of being a bad one... give and take relationship goes to action here...

a parent shud be rational in explaining things to a child... so that when the child becomes aware of things and take knowledge from others and him/herself... the child will remember that wat his/her parents said r right...

well... this r juz my views... and i know its not complete...

oh i forgot.... a parent shud also be a student and learn from his/her children... everyday u can learn something new through experience....
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Old 04-14-2007, 06:12 AM   #20
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

I'm half and half really. Complete control may lead to dependancy which will harm your child when they are out on their own. Someone once said that youth was the time for mistakes. However, there are times when the parent knows best and should step in and control the situation. It also depends on the kid. My eldest sister always wanted to make her own choices when she was a teen(and my parents, unfortunately, neglected to step in where they should've). Because of that she became manipulative and had no fear about lying whenever it benefited her. She also put herself in risky situations and chose the wrong friends. What she did affected her younger siblings, our family reputation, and her attitude on life. In that case, the parent should've taken control. Now that she's out on her own and having to live up to some of her stupidity, she's become completely dependant and wants my parents to make the decisions for her. Basically, she's gone in the wrong order. I just hope that my parents have obtained enough wisdom to know when to help and when to back off. Overall, there are times when parents need to step in and times when they just need to give their opinions and let the kid figure it out for themself.
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Old 04-18-2007, 05:32 AM   #21
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

its should be halfway...parents need to be there for their child to guide them in making the decisions for their future. that is one of their sole duty. but it doesnt mean that they should dominate them in making decisions and force them to do things they dont like. this thing specially comes up before college, picking a course and studying in what school.. its better that the child himself/herself makes the decision (with much reasons). after all, it is his/her future.
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Old 04-19-2007, 03:12 AM   #22
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Smile Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

i think parents should not overshadow their childs wishes and try to reason with them to come to terms and make decisions together!!
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Old 04-19-2007, 03:05 PM   #23
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

no way should a parent control there kid's future, come on that's messing up there destiny, a child can be who they are and want to be, it's the common saying " BE WHO YOU CHOOSE TO BE" " blaze your own trail" " folllow your own destiny not parents destiny< your destiny!!
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Old 04-19-2007, 06:00 PM   #24
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

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Authoritative parents encourage discussion with their children and are more flexible with rule making, sometimes allowing exceptions. For example, “You can stay out an hour later than your regular curfew because you did all of your homework and chores” Authoritarian parents establish rules and expect the obedience of their children. Authoritarian parents tend to be the strictest of all three styles. Children with such parents will often hear phrases such as “Because I said so” “I’m your mother/father, that’s why” and “if you don’t ______ you’ll be grounded”. Parents who value their children’s unwavering obedience above all else, would most likely chose the authoritarian style because it might have that desired effect
I would have to say that this was the way my family raise me more of a 50/50, i was in a military family. My family always wanted us to have respect for others and trust there judgements. Once they raised us to a point (say 13-15) they allowed us to start making our own decisions. Only to a point, if we seemed to be making bad decisions then that right was taken away. We always had a shitload of chores and always had to keep the house clean when they were working. They expected the best from us at all time, good grades, getting a job, going to a university.
The one bad thing about authoritarian parents is sometimes there can be a abusive parent in this group.. Not saying that all are, but few can be.
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Old 04-19-2007, 08:07 PM   #25
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

I believe that before they reached their teens, parents should be in control.
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Old 04-23-2007, 05:48 PM   #26
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

There are no rules or laws about it but some traditions and religions have rules about it. The way a child is raised depends also on the outcome. If you depend too much on your parents then they will control your future. But if you take your future in your hands then it is probably more successful. Parents like to think they know what is best for their kids, but times have changed and sometimes they just don't understand.
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Old 05-17-2007, 08:01 PM   #27
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

I believe that what many people don't understand is that parents control the lives of their kids because they love them. If a pair of parents let their kids do whatever the f**k they want, then those parents could be consider bad parents (depending on your perspective, mind you). However, kids have a right to do much without having to get permission. Kids should be allowed more license in doing what they want. For example, if akid wants to play games all day, he can choose to do so. But he must remember the consequences of doing so. He will get lower school grades and will lose priviledges.
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Old 05-17-2007, 08:15 PM   #28
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

you cant be like a herb and listen to ur momy and daddy if you want to not go to collage you dont have to if you want to be a barber and your parents want you to be alawyer you dont have to listen. you do what makes you happy.
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Old 05-17-2007, 08:39 PM   #29
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

at least till the person is 18....if parents weren't in control like at age 7, this world would be probably be in ruins. many fights, rebellions, and deaths...not a world i want to live in....
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Old 05-18-2007, 07:44 AM   #30
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Re: Should parents be in control of a child's future?

let me see of course no!!!What are u talking about?The kid even before 18 should be able to decide alone for his future his parents should support him not force him to change.And if they think his decision is wrong they should talk not force!I hate it when ppl say w8 untill u become 18.What is the difference between 17 and 18 or even 16 in some cases.2 years or 1 make u think more wisely???It is just wrong.I decieded that i wanted to go in university and study physics(or science not sure how it is in english)from going to university and study something that will give me more money in the future,and u know what my parents did?They supported me.The parent has no right to make the future of his child hi role is to help him find out what he wants...
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