TsunadeChaos

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Naruto
LOL!! read at your own risk. the only way to escape this may be suicide! LOL!

OG

Explode! Dive!! And more vaguely action-oriented verbs followed by superfluous exclamation marks and flashbacks!!! It's the Naruto Plot, BELIEVE IT!!!

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sand_illusions

ZOMGOOODNESS!!!! that is ROYAL! that is so ROYAL!!! its great....XD

Haruno Whatsherface....zomgoodness....i shall remember that forever!!!

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We live in the HERE and NOW
so don't worry about what will happen tomorrow, todays troubles are enough for today-Matthew 6:34

OG

That Man
Here, that person is referred to no less than 3 times.
Here, that person is referred to no less than 3 times.
That Man, born in That Day and also known by the alias This Guy or That Person, is well-known among ninja of the world for developing That Jutsu and his key role in That Incident. However, he should not be confused with That Man who is That Man but is not really That Man.

Also known to be creator of the Girls in the game Guilty Girl XXX.

He is most well known as the Man on the fire exit signs.

[Guilty gear comparison...lmao]

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TsunadeChaos

WARNING: Attacks in batle are farther than they appear!!

balmung5000

ahhh G i never knew you cosplayed

Grimmjow

omg.....lmao!!!! pedophile kakashi haha

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OG

Scarecrow - Some guy addicted to porn, who managed, in a freak, hentai-related accident years earlier, to lose both his brain and his left eye.

Sausage is the main character of the series, although a fringe cult of deluded Swirlamagig fans claims otherwise. His ambition is avenging and resurrecting his fallen clan, or in more blunt terms, killing Hibachi and getting laid.

Swirlamagig Whirly - By any and all reasonable criteria that could possibly be applied, Whirly is the suckiest ninja ever. Seriously, nothing useful comes from this kid.

When she gets angry her hormones lose control and her PMS is formed as a seperate entity in her mind. Most notably, Haruno Whatsherface emerged from relative non-importance and obscurity to a state where her ambivalent romantic feelings and angst have all but swallowed the series whole and rendered most other characters redundant.

Psy - An underling sent to infiltrate That Team Over There on behalf of a generation-old fascist conspiracy within the village, codenamed "Psy" - nobody cares about his real name - is essentially like Sausage with a transmogrified personality and a belly shirt.

lmao

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TsunadeChaos

Master of the perv jutsu! AKA Jar the mouse hermit AKA Hugh Hefner

Miburo

The entire section about Swirlamagig Whirly is surprisingly accurate, actually.

I lol'd.

Grimmjow

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Harry_Potter_%28Books%29

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kluang

WARNING: Attacks in battle are farther then they appear

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OG

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Star_wars

OMG lmao....

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Grimmjow

Harry Potter and the Philanthropist's Stock Options

The British cover of the first Harry Potter Book.


In the first book, Harry, a small and especially irritating bespectacled child who, in the Golden Age, would be down the tin mines earning his keep (bloody kids these days), learns that his benevolent aunt and uncle Vernon and Petunia are in fact the heads of a Masonic splinter lodge. To keep their secret well hidden, Harry is bundled off to boarding school where he is visited in the night by a large bearded dwarf telling him that he's "special".
Harry is taken to an ancient bank deep in the heart of London, where he learns that his long-dead parents, killed in a tragic fly-by shooting under the orders of Lord Voldemort (named after the sound produced by trying to yawn with a mouth full of marshmallows), left him stocks and shares worth five times the amount of all the money in Paragon City. Not only that but he has magic powers and, being a small child who desires wanton destruction above all else, is a danger to humanity.
One feeble explanation about "mitochondria" later and he's off to the Jedi Apprentice Academy at Hogwarts to master in Quidditch. He is placed in a secret friendship club known as Gryffindor by a mystical piece of headgear known as the Selection Sombrero. On the way he meets tall, anorexicRon Weasley and plot device Hermione Granger, who, like him, have special powers and thus require secure detention. After indoctrination at the top-secret Academy they proceed to break all the rules, vandalize ancient works of art and kill off their Self Defense teacher (as well as several other minor characters) under the excuse that they were "saving the world".
The American publication of the book was re-titled "The Rich Dude's Stock Options" because research has indicated that American children are allergic to dictionaries.




Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Alderaan
“That's no moon...”

~ Oscar Obi-Wilde on Book 3 Plot

When Harry senses a thousand voices "crying out, and suddenly silenced", he goes to investigate. It turns out that the notorious spammer Sinister Black has escaped from prison and along with Princess Lisa of Alderaan has decided to use his magical powers of mass hypnosis to try to break the world "simultaneous interrupted scream by a crowd of people" record. Determined to thwart this evil genius, Harry returns to school, only to end up being diagnosed with dementia and locked in a safe.
Excerpt

Voldemort: "Dumbledore never told you what happened to your father."
Harry: "He told me enough! He told me you killed him!"
Voldemort: "No, Harry. I am your father!"
Harry: "No, it's not true! It's impossible!"
Voldemort: "Search your feelings... you know it to be true..."
Regional Differences

Different regional printings include variations that suited the local nationality including title and content changes. In "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Uzbekistan", Harry is arrested for speaking against Islam Karimov and is boiled alive until he confesses to being an Islamic radical. In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Afghanistan, Harry is locked inside a metal shipping crate in the sun and left for dead. In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Turkmenistan, Harry accidentally offends Turkmenbashi due to the wording of a spell and is imprisoned for blasphemy. Other copies include "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Guantanamo Bay" in which Voldemort sells Harry to the marines as a Taliban combatant; "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Abu Ghraib" where Harry is stripped naked and forced to cast spells on his privates; and "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Finland" in which Harry can't tell that he's in prison except for the constant reminders that if he ran off, the government would be "very hurt".



Harry Potter and the Deadly Gallow

The sample cover for one proposed title, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Stargate".


“You want to kill me, don't you? Just pick up your wand -- it's right over there.”

~ The Inquisitor on Harry's severed hands Harry gets captured and tortured by a witch hunter. Possibly the most useful book of the series, as it provides vital information concerning how to deal with magic users. Face it, you're neither a wizard nor a witch, so info about how they cast magic isn't useful as "how a direct hit at face can prevent the wizard from casting a spell on you". The majority of book, however, mostly consists of violence and gory torture scenes as Harry is interrogated by none other than the great Jack Bauer. In few last chapters, Jesus himself appear as guest character, leading an army of the righteous in a crusade against all magic users, culminating in Harry's execution by hanging. In a postscript, Hogwarts is purified and converted to a megachurch under the pastorship of Rev. Rod Parsley, the hippogrifs are captive-bred for poultry, Hedwig creates a political stir over logging in the Pacific Northwest, Harry's money is seized by the IRS for payment of back taxes, and Dobby is relocated to a Malaysian sweatshop.
A 2007 article in Tiger Beat, a teen magazine, reported that Rowling had arrived on the sound of the title before deciding on the specific wording and plot. Alternatives batted about included:

• Harry Potter and the Deadly Bellows: Queen Victoria returns to head Hogwarts, and all ragamuffin orphans like Harry are put in their place, working in a factory with lax safety standards.
• Harry Potter and Dudley's Tallow: Desperate for replacement suet for a candle-enchanting spell required to graduate from Hogwarts, Harry finds an unexpected source in his oft-annoying cousin.

The article also went on to state that Daniel Radcliffe is "soooo hot".
Harry Potter and the Snapes on a Plane

“'I have had it with these motherfucking Snapes on this motherfucking plane!'”

~ Samuel L. Jackson on a plane Dumbledore, using his awesome powers of blatant copyright infringement, reappears alive in the Fangorn Forest (this is actually what happens in the series of short stories 'Lord of the Rings' by J.K. Rowling). Upon flying home to step-child Harry Potter, Snape learns of his revival. He makes a whole load of motherfucking clones of himself and puts them on Dumbledore's Plane, hoping to kill him once and for all. Dumbledore is played by Samuel L. Jackson in this book, unlike the other books in which he is portrayed by Andy Serkis and state-of-the-art computer animation.

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kluang

Star Wars was invented by fundamentalist Christians as a method of birth control in Ireland because they understood that Star Wars fans would never get laid. Unfortunately, Star Wars leaked outside of its intended market and ended up being used as a birth control device worldwide. The specific long-term effects of Star Wars are unknown, but most scientologists agree that it will cause total annihilation of the human race and several breeds of llamas by the year 2017.

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