AnticitizenOne

Self-explanatory, just find a random joke and tell it. I'll start us off:

(No offense to mexican americans, please don't take offense, also please don't ban me for it if you consider it racist)
There are three men on a plane, one is Italian, another is Mexican, the other is American. Their plane is going down so they all need to drop something from the plane. The Italian drops a bowl of spaghetti and says I have too many of these in my country, the Mexican drops a Sumbrero and says I have too many of these in my country. The American takes the Mexican, throws him off the plane, and says I got too many of these in my country.

Oh, and no yo mama jokes please, most people find them offensive.

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HarukoChan

Ok .. what do you call a Native american pokemon?



And your jokes just racist man. :|

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LonelyNinja

Damn, that's awful. XD

Anyways:

George Bush is smart.

Seal_master

so this man walks up to ask for a recomended drink so the barkeep says a grasshopper so the man orders a grasshopper
and on the way home the man comes apon a grasshopper and says you know theres a drink named after you
so the grasshopper says you mean theres a drink named ervings

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All dead move to the hollow rythm of necromancy

Chibi Thread Updated: 3/13/08

kluang

................

a classic.

my turn

The City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam

NAME:____________________
GANG NAME:______________________

1.) Little Johnny has an AK-47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Little Johnny attempt before he has to reload?

2.) Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?

3.) Rufus pimps 3 hoes. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus's $800 per day crack habit?

4.) Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounces will he need?

5.) Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more corvettes must he have to steal to have $900?

6.) Raoul got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

Extra credit bonus: how much more time will he get for killing the hoe that spent his money?

7.) If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint free?

8.) Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?

9.) Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a Boa Constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Bernie makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the Boa on one week's income?

10.) Billy steals Joe's skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph, Joe loads his .357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his magnum, how far away will Billy be when he gets whacked?

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AnticitizenOne

Lol at the above joke, it's kind of a funny joke, and surprisingly thorough.

Cmon guys it's not all that racist, it just speaks the truth, there are more Illegal Immigrants in America than there should be. Especially since it's against the law. You could also argue that that is racist because not all Mexican Americans are illegal immigrants. You could also say that my joke is racist and you're going to report me to the mods and I'm going to be banned for life. I don't feel like listing all of the possibilities.

And yours isn't? Cmon man be reasonable. I could argue that your joke is also racist because it makes fun of Native Americans, so if you think my post is racist so is yours.

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sand_illusions

Three nuns walk into a bar. The fourth one was smart and walked around it.

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We live in the HERE and NOW
so don't worry about what will happen tomorrow, todays troubles are enough for today-Matthew 6:34

kluang

GREATER LOS ANGELES AREA DRIVER'S LICENSE APPLICATION:

Name:______________ Stage name: ________________
Agent:______________ Attorney:__________________

Sex: ___male ___female ___formerly male ___formerly female ___both

If female, indicate breast implant size: ____
Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safely operate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes___ No ___

Please list brand of cell phone: ________.
If you don't own a cell phone, please explain:________________________

Please check hair color:
Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde
Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue [ ] Skinhead

Please check activities you perform while driving: (Check all that
apply)
[ ] Eating
[ ] Applying make-up
[ ] Talking on the phone
[ ] Slapping kids in the back-seat
[ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs
[ ] Tanning
[x] Snorting cocaine (already checked for ease of application)
[ ] Watching TV
[ ] Reading Variety
[ ] Surfing the net via laptop

Please indicate how many times:
a) you expect to shoot at other drivers ____
b) how many times you expect to be shot at while driving ____

If you are the victim of a car jacking, you should immediately:
a) Call the police to report the crime
b) Call Channel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car on the news in a high-speed chase
c) Call your attorney and discuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 call not going through
d) Call your therapist
e) None of the above (South Central residents only)

In the event of an earthquake, should you:
a) stop your car
b) keep driving and hope for the best
c) immediately use your cell phone to call all loved ones
d) pull out your video camera and obtain footage for Channel 4

In the instance of rain, you should:
a) decelerate by 5 mph
b) drive twice as fast as usual
c) you're not sure what "rain" is

Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____.
Are you presently taking any of the following medications?
a) Prozac
b) Zovirax
c) Lithium
d) Zanax
e) Valium
f) Zoloft
If none, please explain: __________________.

Length of daily commute:
a) 1 hour
b) 2 hours
c) 3 hours
d) 4 hours or more

When stopped by police, should you:
a) pull over and have your driver's license and insurance form ready
b) try to outrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405 Freeway
c) have your video camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuring yourself of a hefty lawsuit.

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Seal_master

yo momas so dumb she thought jar-jar came with pickles pickles

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All dead move to the hollow rythm of necromancy

Chibi Thread Updated: 3/13/08

G

what do Pigs put in their computer...?

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kluang

Good girls never go after another girl's man...
Bad girls go after him AND his brother.

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AnticitizenOne

I get that one, it's kind of old but still good in my opinion, ok I have another one that's more wierd than funny, but not percievably racist at all:

A man sees a bear in a movie theater. He goes up to the bear and asks "Why are you watching this movie?" The bear says "I read the book."

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ShinobiKnight

^ Not really funny...

I liked kluang's, though. Very nice.

Anyway:
Two guys are walking down a street when they see a lamp on the road. The rub it and a genie comes out and says, "You each get three wishes. We'll start with you." So the first guy, who is kind of perverted, says, "Hmmm....I wish everyone in the state but us was a hot chick." His wish is granted. The second guy says, "Give me ten billion dollars." His wish is granted.
For his second wish, the first guy says, "You know what? I wish every person in the country but us was a hot chick." His wish is granted. The second guy thinks and says, "I want a brand-new Hummer." His wish is granted.
The first guy says, "Aw, what the hell. I wish everyone in the world but us was a hot chick!" His wish is granted. The second guy looks around and thinks for a moment. Then he points to his friend, says, "I wish he was gay!" then runs off as fast as he can.

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AnticitizenOne

^ It wasn't meant to be, like I said.

I like your joke ShinobiKnight, it was funny.

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nejismirk

in a petshop:

a man looked into a parrot and said, ' hey you! can you speak huh?! can you speak?! stooopid!!'.

then the parrot replied,' yes i can! how about you, can you fly huh?! can you fly?! a******!!'.

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"Gimme the sword, Shinigami."




"I hate ghost shows."
-Ichigo Kurosaki