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Old 10-08-2007, 10:41 PM   #1
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Am I being unreasonable?

MY gf told me a little while ago that she sent this guy a message. No big deal. But she doesnt have to go to a computer, so she had to go to her grandfathers. Once again, no biggie. But she didnt send me one. This isnt major, but its a little thing. She could have just said "I love yah" or anything. But okay. Now why does this bother me so much that I almost hung up on her? EVERYDAY I send her a message via yahoo (cause she cant check her myspace in school) So before I go to bed I send her either a realy long message, or a short funny one. I also go out of my way to do this, considering I have to use my mom's laptop which is always having problem. I also tell her how much she means to me, I tell her everything. She'll be talking about something and ill just be like "God damnit, I love you so much" and she could be talking about the nazi's and Id just say it randomly. Shed ask why and id give her a 5 minute long reason at the end of which I almost cry.

Break

She doesnt do that with me, which is fine. She's realy shy around me and/or maybe she feels awkward just saying it randomly. No problem, I'm cool with that. But I dont just dont feel like I'm realy special to her. We talk about going to the same collage, we've talked about having kids, what our house would look like, how I would ask her to marry me. Yeah, and? Sure that makes me a rank above boyfriend..but I don't feel like it. For the not saying how/why she loves me so much, or the mssage she sent to some guy, she cheated on me way back in august (to try and replace me. To find a me, there. Im fine with this cause iv done it a realy long time ago)

Break

And I'm going through ALOT right now. I got removed from a class I was in love with, my anxiety is back and realy bad, and I've been realy down lately. I've hardlly been talking. And if she was me, and i was her, Id go out of my way to make me giggle, smile, talk, ANYTHING. She just doesnt talk, sighs, and thats about it. Like on the myspace thing. Would it realy have killed her to send me a little something to make me cheer up a little?

You can call it wounded pride, low selfesteem, being insecure, or just being a flat out dickhead. But this realy bothered me, and Iv brough up to her how she hides me from everyone. She realy does, she even admits it. Only her parents, and like her bestest of friends know. One of her friends told the whole school and she freaked out (my gf freaked) I've brough that up to her, and she still did this. So it may be my pride, selfesteem, insecurity, or me being a dickhead, but I dont feel that big to her.

Side note: On myspace her header thing was "The nick garito experience" Cause that was our thing. and she changed it to something completly different, that has nothing to do with me, without telling me, or anything. Im not obessing but for god sake. Mine is "Hailyandnickforever" and I dont want to change it. So this changing of the name thing somewhat erked me

Am I being unreasonable?
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Old 10-08-2007, 10:43 PM   #2
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

the only thing unreasonable is thinking Ima read all that shit
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Old 10-08-2007, 10:49 PM   #3
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

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the only thing unreasonable is thinking Ima read all that shit
omgz thutsz s0 win it hurzt mai sde frum luolzin so herd!!1oneshift

Seriously, this is something important. If your not going to help, dont post. Your not funny, your not getting epic lulz, or even dead lulz, or even a small ounce of win. So please take this seriously
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Old 10-08-2007, 10:52 PM   #4
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

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Originally Posted by fieldscarcrow View Post
omgz thutsz s0 win it hurzt mai sde frum luolzin so herd!!1oneshift

Seriously, this is something important. If your not going to help, dont post. Your not funny, your not getting epic lulz, or even dead lulz, or even a small ounce of win. So please take this seriously
Lol I will do no such thing in the SPAM ZONE, you cant make me not post and trying to insult me and failing will no help ur cause, learn not to cry and mabe I'll leave in peace :]

now lets see how u reply
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Old 10-08-2007, 10:54 PM   #5
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

aww do you want me to play a sad violin for ya
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Old 10-08-2007, 10:55 PM   #6
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Jesus christ. Im not looking for a pitty fuck, or a shoulder to cry on. I am simply asking if im over reacting. Maybe some advice? Oh wait no, that has something to do with human emotion! God forbid we have or even show emotion!
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Old 10-08-2007, 10:56 PM   #7
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

tl;dr My girlfriend is being insensitive to me, I feel like shit about it, am I being unreasonable about all this?

That's what I got out of it, and it's for future reference for other people. Anyways, moving on:

The only unreasonable part I see is the whole MySpace thing. It's MySpace, for crying out loud, get over it. But for the rest of the stuff, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I'd be a little more than upset if I had a girlfriend who tried to hide me from her other friends or the fact that she even had a boyfriend. So, my advice? Bring it up to her, and not just over the phone. Next time you see her, sit her down and have a long talk about it. If you've already done that (I read something about talking to her about it, but I'll just reinforce the point), do it again. Make her see things from your point of view. That's all the advice I have, really.
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Old 10-08-2007, 10:57 PM   #8
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

dude relaxe im just messin with ya XD you to wound up

just relaxe, if it dont work out then you two werent ment for each other
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Old 10-08-2007, 10:59 PM   #9
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

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Originally Posted by LonelyNinja View Post
tl;dr My girlfriend is being insensitive to me, I feel like shit about it, am I being unreasonable about all this?

That's what I got out of it, and it's for future reference for other people. Anyways, moving on:

The only unreasonable part I see is the whole MySpace thing. It's MySpace, for crying out loud, get over it. But for the rest of the stuff, I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. I'd be a little more than upset if I had a girlfriend who tried to hide me from her other friends or the fact that she even had a boyfriend. So, my advice? Bring it up to her, and not just over the phone. Next time you see her, sit her down and have a long talk about it. If you've already done that (I read something about talking to her about it, but I'll just reinforce the point), do it again. Make her see things from your point of view. That's all the advice I have, really.

The myspace thing only bothered me cause she wanted me to put mine up there, if I change mine she would be bothered. So imonly bothered by it for that fact.

And btw this is a long distance relationship. Not like another state, a few hours by car, one hour or less by plane lol. I live in long island, she lives upstate new york.

Also I have brough this up to her (most of this stuff, not the new stuff.) and im defintly bringing it up again. Thanks for the advice

And to seal master:

Dude we've been going on and off for 5 years, mainly because she used to be over jelous and psycodic, and me being confused. So now im fixed, she seems to be and just to give up and say "Wasnt ment to be" would be stupid. Iv put everything I am/have into this relationship. I bleed to make this work (im not being emo, im just saying thats how hard I work sometimes)

Last edited by fieldscarcrow; 10-08-2007 at 11:02 PM.
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Old 10-08-2007, 11:00 PM   #10
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

can you summerize this
maybe just put some key points that happened
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Old 10-08-2007, 11:02 PM   #11
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fieldscarcrow View Post
MY gf told me a little while ago that she sent this guy a message. No big deal. But she doesnt have to go to a computer, so she had to go to her grandfathers. Once again, no biggie. But she didnt send me one. This isnt major, but its a little thing. She could have just said "I love yah" or anything. But okay. Now why does this bother me so much that I almost hung up on her? EVERYDAY I send her a message via yahoo (cause she cant check her myspace in school) So before I go to bed I send her either a realy long message, or a short funny one. I also go out of my way to do this, considering I have to use my mom's laptop which is always having problem. I also tell her how much she means to me, I tell her everything. She'll be talking about something and ill just be like "God damnit, I love you so much" and she could be talking about the nazi's and Id just say it randomly. Shed ask why and id give her a 5 minute long reason at the end of which I almost cry.
Smothering. At such a young age, too. =\ No offense, but I'd had dumped you the second I saw this becoming a habit.

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She doesnt do that with me, which is fine. She's realy shy around me and/or maybe she feels awkward just saying it randomly. No problem, I'm cool with that. But I dont just dont feel like I'm realy special to her. We talk about going to the same collage, we've talked about having kids, what our house would look like, how I would ask her to marry me. Yeah, and? Sure that makes me a rank above boyfriend..but I don't feel like it. For the not saying how/why she loves me so much, or the mssage she sent to some guy, she cheated on me way back in august (to try and replace me. To find a me, there. Im fine with this cause iv done it a realy long time ago)
You're only 16. o_O You'll be a rank above boyfriend when you're an actual man who can support himself and do for her as well, if need be. Her cheating on you in August, sure fire sign that something is wrong in the relationship. Which, is pretty clear now, after reading the last two paragraphs.

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Originally Posted by fieldscarcrow View Post
And I'm going through ALOT right now. I got removed from a class I was in love with, my anxiety is back and realy bad, and I've been realy down lately. I've hardlly been talking. And if she was me, and i was her, Id go out of my way to make me giggle, smile, talk, ANYTHING. She just doesnt talk, sighs, and thats about it. Like on the myspace thing. Would it realy have killed her to send me a little something to make me cheer up a little?
She sounds like she's just not interested anymore. Honestly, if she's your age, who could blame her?

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Originally Posted by fieldscarcrow View Post
You can call it wounded pride, low selfesteem, being insecure, or just being a flat out dickhead. But this realy bothered me, and Iv brough up to her how she hides me from everyone. She realy does, she even admits it. Only her parents, and like her bestest of friends know. One of her friends told the whole school and she freaked out (my gf freaked) I've brough that up to her, and she still did this. So it may be my pride, selfesteem, insecurity, or me being a dickhead, but I dont feel that big to her.
Maybe because you AREN'T that big to her. Sometimes you really need to open your eyes and see things clearly. =\

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Originally Posted by fieldscarcrow View Post
Side note: On myspace her header thing was "The nick garito experience" Cause that was our thing. and she changed it to something completly different, that has nothing to do with me, without telling me, or anything. Im not obessing but for god sake. Mine is "Hailyandnickforever" and I dont want to change it. So this changing of the name thing somewhat erked me
Wow. That sort of thing urking you shows your age and maturity a little. Because it's such a small, unimportant thing.

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Am I being unreasonable?
Somewhat, but you're also smothering her, and she doesn't seem to like it, based on these paragraphs.
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Old 10-08-2007, 11:08 PM   #12
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Boo hoo who woud actaully read all that crap i mean seriously andwhy talk about your love life on a forum don't you have any friends back home instead you are asking the opinion of a bunch of unknown people and WHO WOULD READ THIS MUCH in a spam zone.
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Old 10-08-2007, 11:09 PM   #13
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

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Smothering. At such a young age, too. =\ No offense, but I'd had dumped you the second I saw this becoming a habit.

You're only 16. o_O You'll be a rank above boyfriend when you're an actual man who can support himself and do for her as well, if need be. Her cheating on you in August, sure fire sign that something is wrong in the relationship. Which, is pretty clear now, after reading the last two paragraphs.

She sounds like she's just not interested anymore. Honestly, if she's your age, who could blame her?

Maybe because you AREN'T that big to her. Sometimes you really need to open your eyes and see things clearly. =\

Wow. That sort of thing urking you shows your age and maturity a little. Because it's such a small, unimportant thing.

Somewhat, but you're also smothering her, and she doesn't seem to like it, based on these paragraphs.

Lol I thought so too! When she went to this sleep away camp, we could talk maybe twice a week if we were lucky. So I asked her If me sending her messages would make it easier for her, I asked if a few here and there are good, or should i send one everynight. She said that itd help alot if i sent one everyday, so i did it. When she got back from teh camp, I asked her If I should keep sending them. She told me that I should. I also told her taht I asked cause I didnt want to be smothering her.

I explained why it urked me

Since this is a long distance relationship, I still the cheating thing (like the many break ups before) were do to wanting to be with me. I may just be blind, but I told her to tell me the god's honest truth and if she didnt I would hang up and just walk away from us. But how would I know? She does something (hard to explain) when she lies/denies something.

About being a rank above boyfriend. I have my shit more together then most adults I know. I know what I want to be when I can get a job, I know how to get the degree, I know the pre-requists (sp?) I have an idea of what collages have the corses I need. I know everything.IM not some asshole 16 year old that stumbles blindly through life.

If im not that big to her, then why does she like talking about our future? (serious question)

Last edited by fieldscarcrow; 10-08-2007 at 11:11 PM.
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Old 10-08-2007, 11:11 PM   #14
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

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The myspace thing only bothered me cause she wanted me to put mine up there, if I change mine she would be bothered. So imonly bothered by it for that fact.

And btw this is a long distance relationship. Not like another state, a few hours by car, one hour or less by plane lol. I live in long island, she lives upstate new york.

Also I have brough this up to her (most of this stuff, not the new stuff.) and im defintly bringing it up again. Thanks for the advice
Ah, okay. Well, if she changed hers, change yours and (not to be a total ass, but) show her how it feels (if she reacts the same way). That might jar something.

I remember reading a few times that it's a long distance relationship, yet not that long, but that's somewhat beside the point?

That would be a good idea, but in light of Mikey's post, you might be smothering her. I didn't think about that, but it's possible.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonelyNinja View Post
tl;dr My girlfriend is being insensitive to me, I feel like shit about it, am I being unreasonable about all this?
Quote:
Originally Posted by balmung5000 View Post
can you summerize this
maybe just put some key points that happened
There ya go, bal.
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Old 10-08-2007, 11:14 PM   #15
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

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Originally Posted by fieldscarcrow View Post
Lol I thought so too! When she went to this sleep away camp, we could talk maybe twice a week if we were lucky. So I asked her If me sending her messages everyday would make it easier for her. She said that itd help alot, so i did it. When she got back from teh camp, I asked her If I should keep sending them. She told me that I should. I also told her taht I asked cause I didnt want to be smothering her.
So she's the one who told you to message her every day? o_O Hm.

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I explained why it urked me
I must've missed it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by fieldscarcrow View Post
Since this is a long distance relationship, I still the cheating thing (like the many break ups before) were do to wanting to be with me. I may just be blind, but I told her to tell me the god's honest truth and if she didnt I would hang up and just walk away from us. But how would I know? She does something (hard to explain) when she lies/denies something.
I stopped reading after the long distance relationship bit. I've been there and done that, and I must say, especially at your ages, it's not going to work out unless at least one of you is willing to make a serious move to the other. In person >>>>> long distance.

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About being a rank above boyfriend. I have my shit more together then most adults I know. I know what I want to be when I can get a job, I know how to get the degree, I know the pre-requists (sp?) I have an idea of what collages have the corses I need. I know everything.IM not some asshole 16 year old that stumbles blindly through life.
'K. You're still an unemployed 16 year old involved in a long distance relationship. Oh sure, knowing what you wanna do is find and all, but actually doing it....while still keeping her interested. This'll be quite the test for you two.

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If im not that big to her, then why does she like talking about our future? (serious question)
Talk is just that, talk. It doesn't mean much unless things actually get rolling.
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