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Old 10-09-2007, 06:09 AM   #31
Kyoko-_**
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

what a situation.... 5 years? that's like..... forever!!! (for me of course..)

what i meant was, i never had such a long relationship like yours..... the longest i had was 6 months....

i have a boyfriend now, and, well.... i think his situation is similar to yours....

i'm kinda busy with school, the student council, the school pub, and everything else... which means he can't be my number one priority... i made it clear to him in the first place but he doesn't seem to understand... he think he does understand but he really doesn't...

what i think is (for me) that he needs time for herself.... a time to think about things and setting up priorities.... since she hides your relationship, it's a sure sign that he's not that loyal to you and want other people to think that she's still available..... (i've experienced this one...)

now, the main reason why i posted here is that... you shouldn't be over reacting... why don't you calm yourself down first and then think... think clearly or if you can't, talk to your parents... they might help you a lot with these kind of things because they are wise enough to even get married and have you as a child....

and, why not think about yourself first? you might be missing important things in your life while your sulking yourself because of your problem with this girl....
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Old 10-09-2007, 07:20 AM   #32
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ero View Post
hmm, ur and mabe?

Maybe if you learnt to eat less fried chicken and watermelon you wouldn't have to mash the keyboard, tubby =]


@Field- Look man, your not depressed for no reason, and its good to let all this out somewhere, but honestly there are better places to put this than NL, because as we can see, not alot of people sympathise with e-drama or people dumping their problems on the internet. If you want to talk to someone about it, talk to a friend or your parents or whoever the fuck it is that kids these days trust.

Just don't be surprised if these kids don't really care about what you're saying.

Good luck with your problems man.

EDIT- Oh and just incase this constitutes a flame, thank you in advance mods, i needed a vacation from NL =]
I know kids wont give a flying crap about my problems, especialy on nl. But since my computer broke, I dont have aim so I cant talk to the one friend that I do have. Other then that one friend I dont have anyone to go and talk to. Id talk to my mom about it but her personality might get in the way of the advice and that wouldnt be good. I'd call my dad but last night was the first time we spoke in like 3 months, plus he's not right in the mind. Im not making a joke, he has alot of problems. So nl is sadly all I have. But thanks.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyoko-_** View Post
what a situation.... 5 years? that's like..... forever!!! (for me of course..)

what i meant was, i never had such a long relationship like yours..... the longest i had was 6 months....

i have a boyfriend now, and, well.... i think his situation is similar to yours....

i'm kinda busy with school, the student council, the school pub, and everything else... which means he can't be my number one priority... i made it clear to him in the first place but he doesn't seem to understand... he think he does understand but he really doesn't...

what i think is (for me) that he needs time for herself.... a time to think about things and setting up priorities.... since she hides your relationship, it's a sure sign that he's not that loyal to you and want other people to think that she's still available..... (i've experienced this one...)

now, the main reason why i posted here is that... you shouldn't be over reacting... why don't you calm yourself down first and then think... think clearly or if you can't, talk to your parents... they might help you a lot with these kind of things because they are wise enough to even get married and have you as a child....

and, why not think about yourself first? you might be missing important things in your life while your sulking yourself because of your problem with this girl....
I do this in reverse-

Q: Why not think about myself first?
A: I can't. Well, I can...but I cant. I can in the literal sence, but I can't because I'm not missing anything. I'm not missing any chances with other girls, I'm not passing up on hanging out with friends, etc. Mainly because im not in school...like...ever due to my anxiety problems. But even when I am, I'm a loner. I dont talk to anyone unless they talk to me, and even then they only talk to me in school. Girls, they talk to me and find out I'm a pretty nice guy (Last year in bio like 4 girls asked me what I did for haily (my gf) on valentines day. I told them what I tried to get her and what I accualy got her, and they all where like "awhhh" lol funny side note) but hardly any girl in school talks to me out side of school....hell...none of them do. I know im not THAT ugly, but it could possibly be looking pissed off half the time lol.

So im not realy missing anything.

Like I said, I have noone to talk to.

We've taken breaks before, and we are at this point, so they could have worked but I just cant take the idea of her dating someone else.

Thanks for your advice as well
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Old 10-09-2007, 08:37 AM   #33
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ero View Post
hmm, ur and mabe?

Maybe if you learnt to eat less fried chicken and watermelon you wouldn't have to mash the keyboard, tubby =]


@Field- Look man, your not depressed for no reason,
Ever hear the saying "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones?" Probably not, I'm guessing, since you called someone on grammar (The lamest thing to call someone on, by the way) then no less than one sentence later make two grammatical errors of your own (your=you're; double negative). Way to go, smart guy. XD

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Thanks for your advice as well
You're welcome. : )
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Old 10-09-2007, 10:05 AM   #34
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Miburo already kill'd Ero, ahaha my dude,

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Originally Posted by Kites View Post



hahaha!


LOL ero put u on blast G. You gonna take that?
ahaha man this guy comes in making some lame ass post which fits him well I'd like to add tryin' to get at me, notice how I did not post here again when people started helping out, so whats he even talking about?

Ero = Failed ;P

silly aussie


Edit: yea and good luck Field lol, thought I'd atleast add that XD

Edit 2: I dont take what Ero said as a flame just incase someone wants to ban the man, find another way =/
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Old 10-09-2007, 11:43 AM   #35
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Oh noes. Cry moar.

Eh, but seriously. I think you can live with it. If you love this girl so much, which I really think you do, cut her all the slack in the world.
I hope you and her stick together a long time dude, you really have something.

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Old 10-09-2007, 01:26 PM   #36
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

oh damn I didn't read all the reponses, well, anyways.

your probably still insecure when she cheated on you (and honestly I would've have let her come back if she did that) and afraid she'll do it again.

So the best thing in my book is being honest and always staying honest with each other. Honesty, Trust and Communication are the key things for a relationship and, really. There doesn't seem to be much of all three in your guys relationship.

Perhaps the reason why she's hiding from everybody that she might have low self-esteem as well and/or low self-worth. Heck, it could be depression! As for ways to deal with low self-esteem issues...People need to figure out why they have low self-esteem and work on it, an example is "oh I sound so dumb to myself...nobody wants to listen to me" So, basically, work on it and speak more to people. Positive thinking helps alot as well, coming up with a mantra of "I am good, I am great, I can do anything go go me" and saying that over and over and over again can help. My last thing is when the negative thoughts come, always counteract them with something positive, an example from body image: "OH MY GOD I'M SO FAT!!!" (and you counterattack with) "But look at those CURVES! Nobody but me has got them damn I look so sexy."

So whatever works. Do it.

Its not exactly unreasonable other than the Myspace thing: sometimes people don't need to exclaim to the world that they love somebody even when they still do deeply. I bet you anything she's more into the sublty so look at her body language and gestures for that response your looking for.

PHEW, thats alot of valuable advice there, hope things get better for you soon!
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Old 10-09-2007, 02:14 PM   #37
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaxon View Post
Oh noes. Cry moar.

Eh, but seriously. I think you can live with it. If you love this girl so much, which I really think you do, cut her all the slack in the world.
I hope you and her stick together a long time dude, you really have something.
I can, and I talked to her this morning. I brought all of this up to her as well. Im not trying to make a huge deal out of this, but if we're going to be in a relationship with alot of distance then we have to smooth out the road as much as possible in order to make this as easy as possible. I also cut her alot of slack, like she sometimes brings up her x boyfriends and after the cheating thing iv become realy jelous. But when she brings them up I just shrug it off andI dont let it bother me. I realy only get bugged by the big things, or in this case the small things that ammounted into a big thing. But thanks for the hope

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sakatsu View Post
oh damn I didn't read all the reponses, well, anyways.

your probably still insecure when she cheated on you (and honestly I would've have let her come back if she did that) and afraid she'll do it again.

So the best thing in my book is being honest and always staying honest with each other. Honesty, Trust and Communication are the key things for a relationship and, really. There doesn't seem to be much of all three in your guys relationship.

Perhaps the reason why she's hiding from everybody that she might have low self-esteem as well and/or low self-worth. Heck, it could be depression! As for ways to deal with low self-esteem issues...People need to figure out why they have low self-esteem and work on it, an example is "oh I sound so dumb to myself...nobody wants to listen to me" So, basically, work on it and speak more to people. Positive thinking helps alot as well, coming up with a mantra of "I am good, I am great, I can do anything go go me" and saying that over and over and over again can help. My last thing is when the negative thoughts come, always counteract them with something positive, an example from body image: "OH MY GOD I'M SO FAT!!!" (and you counterattack with) "But look at those CURVES! Nobody but me has got them damn I look so sexy."

So whatever works. Do it.

Its not exactly unreasonable other than the Myspace thing: sometimes people don't need to exclaim to the world that they love somebody even when they still do deeply. I bet you anything she's more into the sublty so look at her body language and gestures for that response your looking for.

PHEW, thats alot of valuable advice there, hope things get better for you soon!
I'm still VERY insecure about the cheating on me thing. Thats something major. Even if it was to find a me where she lived. It still makes me look inward and see whats so bad about me and the cheating thing also has made me a jelous person of her. I never was jelous but since that she brings up something about a guy and It bugs me (For example her brother's friend got her a job, and he said that she has a crush on him, and she was like "hes such an idiot" cause he said it to the manager right in front of her, but it still bothered me that he said that) But I try to not let the cheating thing affect my rationality or my feelings for her. Also, how could I not take her back? I love her so much that as soon as she told me I honestly told her that if it makes her happy to be with someone else rather then me, to just go with them. Ill eventualy get over it, just as long as shes happy. Hence why I took her back.

She cant take me being honest. I brought up that I didn't know if I loved her as much as I said I did. I said this because whats going on my life forced me to look inside of me an figure EVERYTHING out in the matter of minutes. I was rushed and I had to look over everything. But she got pissed, reasonably, but she was just as pissed when I explained that I was 90% I feel that way I just dont want to blind side her one night with a "I realy dont" Then a few weeks later (maybe a month-1 1/2) I brough up how she hides me from everyone and she was like " YOUR ALWAYS BRINGING SHIT UP TO ME! AND ITS ALWAYS ABOUT US!" and I was like "Sometimes my big hands are just not big enough. Some times I need hands to cradle mine so that nothing spills out" and she was like "Its always about me!" Now, I ALWAYS made sure to explain to her that its my fault because both times it was mainly me. But in a relationship it cant just be one person, but she doesnt get this. So this time I brought up what this threads about and how when im sad she doesnt do anyhting etc. And she still was like "ITS ALWAYS ABOUT ME!" and I told her that its 50% me and 50% her and she just cant comprehend this. She also freaks out when I bring problems to her.


Once again, the myspace thing bugged me cause if I changed mine shed be unhappy

Last edited by fieldscarcrow; 10-09-2007 at 02:17 PM.
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Old 10-09-2007, 04:23 PM   #38
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miburo View Post
Ever hear the saying "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones?" Probably not, I'm guessing, since you called someone on grammar (The lamest thing to call someone on, by the way) then no less than one sentence later make two grammatical errors of your own (your=you're; double negative). Way to go, smart guy. XD



You're welcome. : )
Then you just called someone on the lamest thing too lulz

FS-I think you are trying a bit too hard to get her to appreciate you. This should come naturally, and if she does appreciate you at all, she would be happy to tell others about you. It almost seems like you would do anything for her, but she wouldn’t reciprocate. Perhaps she isn’t ready for all the stuff you want to give her [considering factors such as her age]. The talk about the future and such? Most couples do that if they last for a while. Long distance could work, if you BOTH work at it, but if its just one of you then no. Does she do anything out of her way for you? I think you need to be her support “pillar” so she can gain some confidence in herself. If she just isn’t the type to change even with the support, then that’s it. You would just have to accept her the way she is, an insecure person. [But I believe that anyone’s insecurity can change with the right elements, although there are different ways to deal with it.] I think she is seeking attention from others. You may give her all the attention, but perhaps you are not the person she wants acknowledgment from. I’m just taking a wild guess here. <.<

//no grammar/spelling check so call me on it if you want =P
laziness FTW <.<
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Old 10-09-2007, 04:27 PM   #39
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

your young
get over it
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Old 10-09-2007, 06:12 PM   #40
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

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Then you just called someone on the lamest thing too lulz
Actually, I called him on trying to make fun of someone for doing something he's also guilty of. I couldn't care less about his grammar, that wasn't my point at all. Nice try though. ; )
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Old 10-09-2007, 06:14 PM   #41
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Re: Am I being unreasonable?

malboro still wins =)
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