Freshgrease

High-schoolers go trick-or-treating? Wow. Be sure to collect loads of booty.

Miburo

Alright, so we started trick or treating late because I haven't done this shit in a while so I dunno how it works anymore. Apparently 8ish is late now. Whatever.

So I drive us to a different neighborhood because if only idiots pillage from people they know. We're trick or treating normally for like an hour or so, nothing exciting happens really except for my cousin punching some guy when he jumped out of the bushes to scare her. She's got 25% of my DNA, so it's to be expected that she's pretty badass, but I was impressed none-the-less. Around 9:30ish we're walking down the sidewalk and there are two kids dressed up like vampires or emo kids, boy and girl, a little older than my cousin (12) walking towards us and the girl is crying a bit. I just figure they're pussies and got scared of something so I don't care, but my cousin asks them what happened. The boy says some jerks dressed in black wearing masks stole their candy, one was wearing a huge dragon mask.

In hindsight, this is where I should have realized that my life is sort of like some ridiculous RPG or some shit. If I had a quest log right then I could have opened it up and read:

Main Quest
-Escort the pirate princess as she procures various sugary treasures
Optional Quests
New!-Thieves have been spotted in Scrubtown stealing from children. Bring these dastardly fiends to JUSTICE!

But at the time I didn't think anything of it. If you steal from middle school aged kids you'd have to be an idiot to hang out in the same area, because they'll tell their parents who'll call the cops or drive around looking for you with a hunting rifle. That's part of the reason why I only steal from highschool age kids and up, they're usually too embarrassed to rat you out. The other part is because stealing from little kids is extra fucking mean, who would do that?

So we keep going about our trick or treating business, it's about quarter after ten now and we go down another block when my cousin says "Chris, look! Dragon mask!" I couldn't believe it. Five guys wearing all black clothes, chains all hanging from their pants, and one is seriously wearing a misfit shirt. All masks, one huge dragon mask. Fucking gothfags, no way. This is awesome!

They're walking right towards us. My cousin starts walking mad slow to create distance, just like we planned beforehand for when I mug highschool kids for candy. As I get closer I say "Ahoy, mateys! I hear ye be wanted for plundering children's booty! And ye be stealin' candy too, ye scurvy dogs!" I could hear my cousin laughing. Then fucking dragon mask responds by saying "Fuck off, butt pirate." His gothfag buddies all snicker. I just look at him with the most stone faced serious expression I could muster, then calmly say "No you," right before lunging at him and punching right in his dragon teeth. He staggers and all his faggy friends start scattering right away. I rip his pillowcase full of candy out of his hand and charge after the next goth fag. They're all running like idiots because they have those stupid baggy goth pants on and the chains are making their pants fall down. The one I'm chasing sees me closing in fast and drops his candy so he can speed up. I switch targets to a different one after he jumps a fence. I have to hop a fence to get to him, but I catch up to him and shove him to the ground. I tell him to hand over the candy and he does. Then I tell him to run, and he does that too. I smile.

Then I walk back to where I first confronted them and my cousin is standing there with two bags of candy laughing. I laugh like a pirate, grab the bags, and we walk off into the sunrise. Except it was only like 10:30 or some shit, so we really just walked back to my car. Then we got back to my Aunt's house and I drank some rum and fell asleep. Sidequest complete. Fuck yeah!

Babyface BK

Oh shit Mibs you're awesome man loll. You should've taken a pic of the gothfags all sat down in front of you on the floor and you in your dashing pirate outfit.

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Jaxon

You are now renowned enough to use the "YAAARRR" expression.

ShinobiKnight

Mibs, you're a fuckin' hero.

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