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Old 03-17-2011, 11:58 PM   #13141
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Quote:
Originally Posted by AniMeFaN View Post
i felt my way was better to disarm
It's not, and I've explained why several times.


Quote:
this is not a small child, or a dog where you can effictevely punish to get rid of a behavior.
It works for adults as well. How do you think training for a job works? The trainer rewards the trainee for doing a good job, and admonishes them for doing a bad job. The training will do the good job more often than the bad job.

Quote:
im not saying do it a week later, i would bring them aside and privately deal with it, try to calm them a bit.
Good for you, but it still won't be as effective. And I'm not sure if you noticed or not, but she did it as a result of her dad snapping at her mom AFTER her sister left the room. There was no reason for her to pull her dad to the side, then explain it later when her mom was there witnessing it.

God, you're stupid.
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Old 03-18-2011, 12:06 AM   #13142
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Quote:
Originally Posted by kael03 View Post
By saying she didn't do it your way and her method only served to exacerbate her dad further, you implied that she didn't try to disarm the situation. Seriously, are you always this stupid?.
you are so stupid seriously, how is me saying i would have done it differently imply that she wasnt trying to diarm the situation. she obviously was trying to disarm the sitation, whether her results were favorable or not she was trying to disarm, i felt my way was better to disarm but thats not implying she wasnt trying to disarm.



Quote:
Originally Posted by kael03 View Post
It works for adults as well. How do you think training for a job works? The trainer rewards the trainee for doing a good job, and admonishes them for doing a bad job. The training will do the good job more often than the bad job..
pretty sure them wanting to keep the job has something to do with them trying to do the job well. they do the things they are taught are correct for the job.



Quote:
Originally Posted by kael03 View Post
Good for you, but it still won't be as effective. And I'm not sure if you noticed or not, but she did it as a result of her dad snapping at her mom AFTER her sister left the room. There was no reason for her to pull her dad to the side, then explain it later when her mom was there witnessing it..

what do you mean theres no reason to pull her dad aside, obviously theres a reason. her mom did not witness the fight between the sister and him, she could of explained later to her why he was upset and snapped. or even better maybe he would have after the talk
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Old 03-18-2011, 12:15 AM   #13143
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Quote:
Originally Posted by AniMeFaN View Post
you are so stupid seriously, how is me saying i would have done it differently imply that she wasnt trying to diarm the situation. she obviously was trying to disarm the sitation, whether her results were favorable or not she was trying to disarm, i felt my way was better to disarm but thats not implying she wasnt trying to disarm.
Um...why did you just repeat yourself? I've explained how you implied she wasn't trying to disarm the situation because she wasn't using your way, and apparently your way is the only way from the way you're vehemently defending it.

Quote:
pretty sure them wanting to keep the job has something to do with them trying to do the job well. they do the things they are taught are correct for the job.
And the way they are taught is being praised for doing a good job (reinforcement) and written up if they do a bad job (punishment) *GASP!* It's exactly what I said. The loss of the job is a consequence of doing a bad job and is an unlearned aversive condition (punisher).

Quote:
what do you mean theres no reason to pull her dad aside, obviously theres a reason. her mom did not witness the fight between the sister and him, she could of explained later to her why he was upset and snapped. or even better maybe he would have after the talk
It still would've been pointless. The results would've been the same and I've explained why several times. Seriously, you're apparently too fucking stupid to see that your method wouldn't be as effective as her method in that situation.

What's with all of the stubborn/stupid people this week? Is it a full moon?
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Old 03-18-2011, 12:17 AM   #13144
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kina View Post
Tabby, let's just watch Doctor Who and talk about how awesome it is.
Don't marry what's his face, marry me, you are like my dream girl <3


also, guys it's ok, my dad is ridiculous, i tried to defuse the situation and he's still ridiculous, and i couldn't save my mommy from beign a little hurt, so it doesn't really matter in the end, cause i should have stepped in sooner.

also, it wasn't really my sisters bad attitude, it was my dad, but i couldn't just tell him to not be a dick.


Now that it's a while later... i'm sure he's just stressed cause we were told on sunday that the doctor says my grandpa only has 2 years to live...
i think he doesn't know how to handle how he feels about that

thanks for defending me and what not Kael <3

and thanks everyone else for suggestions.

it's sad to admit, but at 21 years of age, it still hurts alot when my daddy is mean :/

Last edited by Tabris; 03-18-2011 at 12:19 AM.
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Old 03-18-2011, 12:19 AM   #13145
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

But what about Doug...? If I have to leave my man, you have to leave yours! Unless we can have Doctor Who sessions on the sides. We can tell them we have to work late.
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Old 03-18-2011, 12:20 AM   #13146
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

srly, the full moon thing affects people. i have seen it.

but on the topic of ragin peoplez, i have dealt with it all but with kids, who are as equally, if not worst than adults who are ragin.

what do u do?
you just step away from them when they are mad, anyone thats near them, tell them to leave that person alone. you let that person calm down on their own and give them some time/space, THEN you go back and ask them about whatever they were mad about. if still a jerk about it, dont give attention to that anger, youll just fuel it more.
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Old 03-18-2011, 12:28 AM   #13147
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

@ Kina: i Love you <3
you'll be ma part time lover favourite secret dr. who buddy <3

yeah, i just went and did dishes and left dad alone all night, i'll talk to him about it tomorrow, although i may try to talk about papa instead, cause i think that's the real issue, he really needs to talk about how he feels about his dad dying
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Old 03-18-2011, 12:39 AM   #13148
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Quote:
Originally Posted by kael03 View Post
Um...why did you just repeat yourself? I've explained how you implied she wasn't trying to disarm the situation because she wasn't using your way, and apparently your way is the only way from the way you're vehemently defending it.
yea apparently you just make things up constantly and thats why i repeated myself, to show how stupid your idea of any implication like that is. me saying i would approach a situation differently to disarm is not an implication that her method was not to disarm, what kind of retarded logic is that.



Quote:
Originally Posted by kael03 View Post
It still would've been pointless. The results would've been the same and I've explained why several times. Seriously, you're apparently too fucking stupid to see that your method wouldn't be as effective as her method in that situation

its not pointless, the results would have almost for sure have been different. her telling him she has a problem with the way he is acting while infront of her mom right away is not going to have the same results as pulling him aside and breaking down the situation after calming him down, if you believe that you are an idiot
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Old 03-18-2011, 06:51 AM   #13149
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabris View Post
We don't.

in other news, my father is an ass.
I knew he was unrefined, sure, but sometimes he is just plain dumb.

it's a long story, but feel free to read
we got a call today about my sister missing class 1 and 3 today.
she's missed these classes pretty much all year, not with excuses.
also, she's in grade 12

so when she got home my dad started to get after her, saying she's not gonna graduate due to missing classes, and that she needs to do that book report she can't graduate without (also, it was due a month ago, but the teacher says she needs to hand it in or she can't possibly pass)

she explains that Burgendys boyfriend is an ass and "Burger" was sad so amy took her for coffee instead of going to class"

dad says that bull shit and that she can't be doing that.

She shakes her head and stares at her phone, texting... who ever.

He doesn't raise his voice, but you can tell he's super pissed, and he starts to rail her about the corespondence math she hasn't been doing, that she needs to finish or she wont graduate (i think it's grade 11 consumer math)

she yells about how she is doing it and that she's been asking the teacher for help

he then raises his voice and tells her that if she doesn't graduate she's out of the house.

she stomps away to her room.

at this point my dad looks at my mother, who had just come home from teaching "can-skate" (young childrens skating lessons, for kids aobut 4-8 years old) and was wearing a silly green hat and a shamrock lei to celebrate st patty's with the kids, and says angrily "You're not Irish! why are you wearing that garbage"

at this point i sat up and said, "Hey, hey wait; lets not transfer Amys bad attitude to the rest of us. If we let it keep going everyone is just gonna be unhappy and hurt"

My dad then turned on me, with that look, you know, the look of "you're such a fucking idiot" and says "we don't want your bullshit, mind your own business"

I replied calmly, "See, if we do just like that, everyone is going to be sad and it'll just keep going and affecting other people, but if we can leave Amys negative energy and attitude behind, then we don't have to pass it along"

I don't remember what he said then... something mean. I started to get ready to go back to the city, but the roads are so bad, i actually didn't think i'd be able to make it to the city



Why can't my dad see and that getting angry at my sister and then turning it on my mother, and then me is just turning one little fight into a miserable house hold?
my mom can be like that. spreading the anger to everybody. The worst thing is when she winds up she uses everything, everything that happened in the past 3-4 years and shouts about that switches between one thing to another. But she's been better now, after a big incident she was a lil angry at me for something, didnt get into a fit yet, we mentioned my sister who was in a different part of the house and she (my sister) said something like who mentioned me, in a "teenage" tone. That set my mom off, it was like a 5 hour fit (though my sister wasn't there for 2 hours so she was quiet during that). She got physical and everything and the night pretty much ended with going out on the lawn to sleep(threat), my mom sending my sister to get me(thank god, i was freezing), us locking and blocking our doors with chairs and shit when we came back. She really reflected upon herself after that and has been better.
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Quotes for noobs (learn how to break up a quote)
Quote:
Originally Posted by minato uchiha View Post
Ok Stubborn donkey, how do you break it up please and if your not willingly to tell me, then please DONT offer me no advice in future
So you can post the second bit and i shouldnt be allowed to if i dont tell you? Why be so rude?

Anyways, here is a quotes for noobs guide


1. A basic quote

[*QUOTE][*/QUOTE]

(the * need to be removed for it to work, I put them in so you can see the text) is a basic quote that just wraps something in a quote without saying who quoted it who quoted so

[*QUOTE]this is a quote[*/QUOTE] without any * would look like
Quote:
this is a quote

Edit: there is a button for this, it looks like a speech bubble. If you select text and then press the button the selected text will automatically be wrapped with the quote tag


2. A quote that says who said it

[*QUOTE=who said it][*/QUOTE] this adds who said the post, manually putting that there can be useful when quoting something external. Example:

[*QUOTE=Mangastream]Remember all you sexy bastards out there, Naruto, Bleach, OP, FT, etc. all on break this week. Feel free to take your rage out on us[*/QUOTE] without any * would look like
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mangastream
Remember all you sexy bastards out there, Naruto, Bleach, OP, FT, etc. all on break this week. Feel free to take your rage out on us
3. A quote that says who said it and links to the post where it was said

[*QUOTE=who said it;X][*/QUOTE]

Where X is the post number.

For the post that i originally quoted it would look like this

[*QUOTE=minato uchiha;2118164]Ok Stubborn donkey, how do you break it up please and if your not willingly to tell me, then please DONT offer me no advice in future[*/QUOTE]

That is what you get when you press the quote button.

4. Breaking up a quote

Now that you know how quotes work it all boils down to preference, how you want it to look like and how you want to do it.

One way of doing it is copying the latter part of the original quote [*/QUOTE] and then pasting it after each section you break up, write your reply, choose the text you want then paste it after that portion, repeat till you finish the go back and copy then paste the first part of the text at the beginning of each portion of text. Of course you can immediately copy and paste both parts of a poste so that you dont forget one in the end.

The end result would be something like this

[*QUOTE=minato uchiha;2118164]Ok Stubborn donkey,[*/QUOTE]
My reply 1
[*QUOTE=minato uchiha;2118164] how do you break it up please[*/QUOTE]
my reply 2
[*QUOTE=minato uchiha;2118164]and if your not willingly to tell me, [*/QUOTE]
my reply 3
[*QUOTE=minato uchiha;2118164]then please DONT offer me no advice in future[*/QUOTE]
my reply 4



Which without any * would look like

Quote:
Originally Posted by minato uchiha View Post
Ok Stubborn donkey,
My reply 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by minato uchiha View Post
how do you break it up please
my reply 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by minato uchiha View Post
and if your not willingly to tell me,
my reply 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by minato uchiha View Post
then please DONT offer me no advice in future
my reply 4


Another way of doing it would be to cut and paste the second part of the quote tag after the first section of text you want to seperate then write your reply select the second part and hit he quote button (it looks like a text bubble),if you do that without anything else the end result would be

[*QUOTE=minato uchiha;2118164]Ok Stubborn donkey,[*/QUOTE]
My reply 1
[*QUOTE] how do you break it up please[*/QUOTE]
my reply 2
[*QUOTE]and if your not willingly to tell me, [*/QUOTE]
my reply 3
[*QUOTE]then please DONT offer me no advice in future[*/QUOTE]
my reply 4

Which would look like

Quote:
Originally Posted by minato uchiha View Post
Ok Stubborn donkey,
My reply 1
Quote:
how do you break it up please
my reply 2
Quote:
and if your not willingly to tell me,
my reply 3
Quote:
then please DONT offer me no advice in future
my reply 4

To make it like the previous example (which wpuld be preferred, though not necessary ) copy the part that says who posted with the link to the post and paste it accordingly to the proper part in each first half of each quote tag. In my I would copy =minato uchiha;2118164 and paste it where the # is
[*QUOTE#] to get [*QUOTE=minato uchiha;2118164] (of course with the * removed)


Of course you can use any other method you like to get to the end result, but now that you know what the end rwsult looks like I think there shouldnt be any problems
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Old 03-18-2011, 10:24 AM   #13150
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabris View Post
@ Kina: i Love you <3
you'll be ma part time lover favourite secret dr. who buddy <3
First off, let's lighten the mood, inspired by Tabs struck words.

Second, didn't even read AF's responses... so excuse me if I missed something, but doesn't anyone think giving advice on how to disarm an angry father at this point is rather pointless and mildly insensitive? Tabs wanted support rather than, "well, here's what you could do..." Go away - if she wanted therapy, she'd go talk with Mal or get drunk and dance or something. She came to vent.

Thirdly, Tabs, I can understand how it hurts, but seriously, you handled it pretty much the best you could. I would have told my dad to shut the fuck up, too, knowing it'd just anger him more. Of course, that said, I wouldn't have had to, because my family was boringly normal in that loving and supportive way... so I feel for you. People are idiots, even our parents.

Finally, it is actually very easy to understand your father. As a man, he likes to have some level of control or influence over the things in his life - I think all men do. So to be utterly rebuffed by your younger sister (especially when she is obviously doing insanely stupid shit, not realizing what it may or may not be doing to her future), he turns that anger elsewhere. The rest is poor anger management and resolution - i.e. he turns on the wrong people and doesn't sound like he realizes it. But again, I wouldn't have handled it any different. This is why children need to move out on their own.
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Old 03-18-2011, 11:05 AM   #13151
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

Quote:
Originally Posted by AkamaruChewtoy View Post
Second, didn't even read AF's responses... so excuse me if I missed something, but doesn't anyone think giving advice on how to disarm an angry father at this point is rather pointless and mildly insensitive? Tabs wanted support rather than, "well, here's what you could do..." Go away - if she wanted therapy, she'd go talk with Mal or get drunk and dance or something. She came to vent..
appreciate you not reading anything i posted and just reading the posts around it, i dont think its pointless to give advice on how to disarm an angry father because it will likely happen again. i dont think its mildly insensitive to give advice on a topic that was posted. she came to vent and asked why her father doesnt understand what hes doing is a problem


Quote:
Originally Posted by AkamaruChewtoy View Post
Finally, it is actually very easy to understand your father. As a man, he likes to have some level of control or influence over the things in his life - I think all men do. So to be utterly rebuffed by your younger sister (especially when she is obviously doing insanely stupid shit, not realizing what it may or may not be doing to her future), he turns that anger elsewhere. The rest is poor anger management and resolution - i.e. he turns on the wrong people and doesn't sound like he realizes it..
agree, thats what i said in my first post, then commented on how i would handle that situation.
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Old 03-18-2011, 11:41 AM   #13152
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

^ Dude... it's your father. This is not like dealing with a friend or just someone you know.

As for not reading, I started your first one, but switched off for the rest of it. I found your advice simplistic as family always complicates things. Rereading your first post, you make it sound like he is not himself and lost control due to anger, whereas I get the impression he knows exactly what he is doing. Can't control one, so he exerts control elsewhere with anger.
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Old 03-18-2011, 12:14 PM   #13153
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

yeah, sounds like my dad...
i guess he probably feels out of control with not being able to affect his father, help him, stuff like that as well. I know i feel pretty powerless.

honestly, once Kael and AF started arguing i didn't read most of them, if any.

I hate being, possibly, labeled as the OH nice guy, but AF advise wasn't terrible if you pick out of it what you want.
I agreed that i should talk to him later, but didn't agree that i shouldn't try to stop him.
batman stopped crime while it was happening, not talked sternly to the villain about his bad behavior after the fact.
Batman: there is no better role model


note to self, my rhetorical questions need to sound more rhetorical....
I know my dad has some anger management problems, and i know he's definitely feeling out of control. i know he didn't mean what he said, especially since i'm pretty damn sure i'm his favourite.... cause i'm awesome.

He probably also felt that my stepping in was disrespectful; he's got pretty strict views about respect.

On the other hand, if you are going to argue with all the other members of MY family, in front of me; yes, it is my business. how did i not think of that last night.

on a more possitive note, i clean really well and really quickly when i'm upset

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Old 03-18-2011, 12:16 PM   #13154
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

i make it sound like he snapped at someone due to anger and a lack of control because it happened right after an incident which clearly made him angry and frustrated. you get the impression he knows what hes doing and i get the impression he was heated and not thinking rationally.
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Old 03-18-2011, 12:28 PM   #13155
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Re: The Longest Thread Ever v28

ah ah ah, in no way do i say he knew what he was doing. thankfully, like most humans, my father has a subconscious.
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