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Old 01-29-2012, 03:45 PM   #301
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The panel shows the Unknown sillhoute, hidden by shadows and Quintrix.

Quintrix: Master...Uchiha Sasuke died.*
Unknown: Indeed...he was a redutable enemy...we are one step closer with his death.
Quintrix: What do you plan next?
Unknown: Tell him to come here.
A man approaches Quintrix and the unknown man.
Shiva: Quintrix...Master...
Unknown: Shiva...proceed to the next part of the plan. Make Brahma attack Uzumaki Naruto.*
Shiva: Got it, Master!
Unknowm: In the meantime...you will go with Quintrix. You will assassinate Yama Dharma. You must not fail!
Shiva: I won't master!
Unknown: You may leave. Quintrix will contact you at the right moment.
Shiva leaves them and vanishes.
Unknown: Quintrix...i trust that you will do it at the proper moment.
Quintrix: I will do it Master. Of course.
Unknown: Good. Shiva is a pawn like Brahma. They are two pawns that i trust you to dispose of them when they are not needed anymore.
Quintrix: Got it. What will you do master?
Unknown: I will release Livontes. And i will make him fight Vishnu.*
Quintrix: But what if Vishnu wins?
Unknown: It doesn't matter. I will use thheir fight to collect their power and i will meet my true purpose. You may leave too Quintrix.
Quintrix: Right master!
Quintrix leaves leaving the Unknown alone.
Unknown to himself: The final step of my plan is near...i will get access to the Creator's dimension...
A lightning strucks and the light shows up a part of the Unknown face. He has a spirallig pattern in his right eye.
Unknown: And it's all thanks to you...Uzumaki Naruto!

The end.

Next chapter: Vishnu's training and Konohamaru's determination.
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Old 01-29-2012, 05:08 PM   #302
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

hmm, don't like that brat died. You could have left him a shadow clone of naruto
but well, decent chapter... thank you
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Old 01-29-2012, 07:25 PM   #303
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

hmmm interesting nice fight
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Old 01-30-2012, 12:08 PM   #304
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by sFrog View Post
hmm, don't like that brat died. You could have left him a shadow clone of naruto
but well, decent chapter... thank you
Hehe...don't feel to bad yet!
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Old 01-30-2012, 12:43 PM   #305
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

I love your fan fiction. It is the reason I finally registered here. Two questions about the latest part of your fan fiction.

1. Under the new "freedom of information act" between Vishnu and Naruto, why wouldn't he had warned them about the abilities of the potential gods that would've came after them such as the God of Blood's unique ability. He describes three different potential gods that could have been sent but doesn't describe their abilities? Seems odd to me.

2. Why doesn't Naruto use Outer Path: Samsara of Heavenly Life Technique to revive Sasuke? When Pain used it on everyone in Konoha, it did drain him and I think ultimately caused his death but shouldn't Naruto be able to cast it on a single person and not die?

Either way, wonderful storytelling. Thank you for sharing.
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Old 01-30-2012, 01:16 PM   #306
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by royalmage View Post
I love your fan fiction. It is the reason I finally registered here. Two questions about the latest part of your fan fiction.

1. Under the new "freedom of information act" between Vishnu and Naruto, why wouldn't he had warned them about the abilities of the potential gods that would've came after them such as the God of Blood's unique ability. He describes three different potential gods that could have been sent but doesn't describe their abilities? Seems odd to me.

2. Why doesn't Naruto use Outer Path: Samsara of Heavenly Life Technique to revive Sasuke? When Pain used it on everyone in Konoha, it did drain him and I think ultimately caused his death but shouldn't Naruto be able to cast it on a single person and not die?

Either way, wonderful storytelling. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for asking these questions.

1. Yama said that nobody knew abouth the god of blood's power because there wasn't anyone to survive it. I cannot tell you right now why Vishnu didn't properly inform them on their powers because i would spoil it.

2. I'm eager to answer to your question but again, i don't want to spoil the next chapter.Trust me...it will all make sense. I'm sorry that i cannot tell you right now...if you have any more question don't hesitate to ask them.

And thank you for the good criticism.

edit: And i'm very glad that my fanfic made you to register here. Good to have you!
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Last edited by Vishnu; 01-30-2012 at 01:18 PM.
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Old 01-30-2012, 01:32 PM   #307
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The suspense for this is killing me more than the main manga .
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Old 01-30-2012, 03:43 PM   #308
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

That's true.. fan-fics are really awesome.. how far did u think about the story?
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The suspense for this is killing me more than the main manga .
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Old 01-30-2012, 06:10 PM   #309
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

I sense Sasuke's revival because he may be in a momentary death state or the death of Yama will cause nothing to die hence bringing Sasuke back to life since he died recently. As always, a very entertaining read. Thanks, Vishnu.
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Old 01-30-2012, 08:20 PM   #310
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

hey first of all just wanted it says ur version of the manga is just so AMAZING and such EPIC read. Ur imagination is just BRILLIANT!

On the side, I just wanted to ask you an random question overall. How did this generation came to be if the sage of the 6th paths didnt have any sons for these clans to exist like uchiha, senju, uzumaki and other clans that were the descendent of the sage. Am sure most of thier powers comes from the sage of the 6 paths like the power of eyes (sharingan) and body (senju) etc...
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Old 01-30-2012, 08:29 PM   #311
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ninjalostboy95 View Post
I sense Sasuke's revival because he may be in a momentary death state or the death of Yama will cause nothing to die hence bringing Sasuke back to life since he died recently. As always, a very entertaining read. Thanks, Vishnu.
I think naruto will revive him but would keep it a secret from everyone, that would pretty much surprise the final unknown villain. Before he does he may needs know more of whats going on and keep sasuke dead before he may die again in battle. Alternatively naruto may revive him and keep hhim in the shadows as an undercover without telling anyone.
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Old 01-31-2012, 12:17 AM   #312
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

@: ivhturp2: i have in mind the main aspects of the story and how it should evolve...i just add details that helps the plot developing. I try to avoid any major plot holes. Thank you for the good words.
@:UzumakiUchiha: Sasuke's time travel allowed the Uchihas and the Senjus to manifest, but it wasn't a cyrcle of hatred anymore. I am going to develop on this in the next chapters because there are still elements that i didn't presented, and i want to explain some stuff.
Anyway, as i said before...soon it will make sense. The plot it's a simple one: good vs evil. But i added many twists so i'm certain that you will enjoy it. The first part of my fanfics was just a prelude for what's coming.
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Old 02-03-2012, 01:03 PM   #313
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

It's up guys! Enjoy it!



Naruto: The God Slayer!


Panel shows Naruto looking at Sasuke's body inside a grand*room. With him are Itachi, Sakura, Jiraya, The Third, Tsunade, Shikamaru,Kiba, Ino, Kakashi, Choji and Lee.

Kiba: He really was powerful...
Shikamaru: In the end...he died as a hero...he saved us from a great menace...
Sakura and Ino are crying.
Naruto: Everyone...get out.*
Tsunade: Why Naruto!?!
Naruto: Get out i said. Except Itachi.
They try to protest.
Lee: Leave him be guys, Let's just leave...
They all leave the room except Naruto and Itachi.
Itachi: What are you thinking?
Naruto: You are about to witness the power of the Rinnegan. Step aside. I want you to cast the Susano'o around this room to protect the outside from an eventual power release.
Itachi: Mangekyou Sharingan! Susano'o!
Itachi: It's done, Naruto.
Naruto: Good...
Naruto makes a few handsigns.
Naruto: Summoning jutsu!
Fukasaku appears in front of him.
Fukasaku: What is it Naruto boy?
Naruto: I need you here to gather Natural Energy for me.
Fukasaku: Got it!
Naruto activates the Rinnegan, and after he closes his eyes.

The scene shows Naruto inside his mind talking with the Kyuubi.

Naruto: Kurama...
Kurama: Naruto...are you aware of the consequences?
Naruto: I am aware. But there is no other choice.
Kurama: Then i will lend you the necessary chakra. You took precautions, by asking Fukasaku to gather Natural Chakra.
Naruto: His chakra was vast. I need all the power to be able to reanimate him.
Kurama: Indeed...

The panel shows the real world.

Itachi: What are trying to do?
Naruto: I will revive Sasuke.
Itachi: Impossible!?!
Naruto smiling: Heh...you haven't witnessed the power of the Rinnegan yet, Itachi.
Naruto looks at Sasuke and makes quickly some handsings.
Naruto: Outer Path! Samsara of Heavenly Life Technique!!
The king of hell rises from the ground shocking everyone except Naruto. The demonic creature looks at Sasuke and then vanishes.
Naruto with a suprised expression: I don't get it! He should have revived him!*
Fukasaku looking sad: I'm sorry kiddo...
Itachi: Maybe he cannot be revived...
Naruto: What do you mean?!?

The panel quickly gets switched back to Kurama.

Kurama: He means that maybe Sasuke is beyond reanimation. That he is caught in some sort of dimension where you don't have acces.*
Naruto: Nevertheless, he should be alive.
Kurama: The body it's just a mere container for his soul boy. If his soul it's caught you cannot summon it back into Sasuke's body.
Naruto: So you're saying...
Kurama smiling: The brat isn't completly lost to us...he can be saved from that state.
Naruto: But when?!? And how!?!
Kurama: It's not our power to revive him right now. Let me give you an example. When our jinchuuriki gets killed, we, the tailed beasts die with him too. But we get back to life after a while. When we are dead, we are in a state of peace and meditation, and we witness our life and contemplate our existence. Something simmilar might happen to Sasuke right now. Have faith Naruto. That brat it's one of the toughest i have ever seen. He won't die so easily!
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Last edited by Vishnu; 02-03-2012 at 01:04 PM.
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Old 02-03-2012, 01:04 PM   #314
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The image it's switched. It shows a white large room. Sasuke is seen laying on the floor,wearing a white robe. He suddenly wakes up and looks around him.

Sasuke to himself: I...i died?
Unknown voice: Yes you did.
Sasuke: Who are you!?! And where are you?
Unknown voice: I'm nowhere and yet everywhere. I don't have a form. My voice surrounds you.
Sasuke: You must have a name.
Unknown voice: People called me many names....
Sasuke: Well, i don't know that names so give me one that i can use.
Unknowm: The First, it's the most used.
Sasuke: Well, then, the First...who are you?
The First: I'm nobody. I called you here Sasuke...because you will be the sign that Vishnu waited.
Sasuke: Sign?*
The First: Exactly. A sign. A sign that will guide him to his future choices. You may go back to life now, child.
On Sasuke's back appears a circle with some number inside it. The panel prevents us to see the numbers exactly.
Sasuke suddenly has a moment of revelation on his face.
Sasuke: Wait a moment. I always wanted to ask you something, the First...
The First: What is it Sasuke?
Sasuke: Don't be polite with me. You already know what i want to ask you.
The First: Indeed. Well...this is my answer: the time will tell you.
Sasuke confused: What do you mean?
The First: I said that the time will give your answer. You may leave.
Sasuke as he vanishes: Thank you...Creator...

The scene it's switched. It shows the Celest City. Yama is walking with Konohamaru towards Vishnu's tower.

Konohamaru amazed: Wow! So this is where the gods reside?
Yama: Exactly. This is our city...the Celest city. It was build by Lord Vishnu in the early days of the Earth. We are very proud of it. It can survive anything.
Konohamaru: But what would threaten it?*
Yama with a grave mine: A war...that is about to emerge...

They enter Vishnu's tower and they go to his chambers.
The panel shows Vishnu looking at a window and contemplating the city.
Yama: Lord Vishnu...
Vishnu turns around and looks at Konohamaru.
Yama: He is Konohamaru Sarutobi.*
Vishnu: Indeed...nice to meet you young man.*
Konohamaru: Nice to meet you too. You're that guy from the hologram?
Vishnu: Yes I am.
Konohamaru: Naruto said something about you training me.
Vishnu: Exactly. I will make you powerful.
Konohamaru: I don't belive that a youngster like you is the ruler over this city.
Yama angered: Watch your words brat!
Vishnu laughs: Don't worry Yama. I like the kid. He is bold. Well, Konohamaru i don't show my age. But i will be able to train you properly.
Konohamaru: I'm already extremly powerful!
Vishnu: Yes you are...to the human terms of power level. The only two humans that have power levels comparable to ours are Naruto Uzumaki and Uchiha Sasuke.
Konohamaru: I get it...
Vishnu: Good. Yama! Go to the Blue Guard HQ. You will prepare our forces there. We must get ready for an assault.
Yama: Got it!
Konohamaru: What's the Blue Guard?
Vishnu: They are the protectors of the city. An elite squadron made of warriors.
Konohamaru: Awesome!

Scene it's switched. It shows Yama dashing through the city. Suddenly a man lands in front of him.

Yama as he draws his red dagger: So it's you...

The panel it's switched. It shows Vishnu and Konohamaru talking.

Suddenly a Man dressed in blue bursts in.

Fodder: Lord Vishnu!
Vishnu: What is it?
Fodder: Lord Yama...is fighting!
Vishnu: Where!?!
Fodder: In the northern sector of the city! *He is fighting Lord Mara!
Vishnu: So...it has begun! Konohamaru! Go and help Yama! It seems that i cannot leave this place because i will have company.
Konohamaru: Got it!

Konohamaru leaves with the fodder.
Vishnu: Well, then...let's see who is our mysterious visitor.

Scene it's switched. It shows Mara clashing a sword with Yama's dagger.

Mara: You cannot beat the me!
Yama: I'm sorry Mara but if you cannot place me under an illussion you will die here!
Suddenly Mara looks up and dashes quickly behind. The place where he was gets destroyed. As the dust clears up we can see Konohamaru enveloped in his lightning armor and having Sage eyes.
Konohamaru: He is mine.
Yama: As you wish. Be aware that genjutsu doesn't work on him.
Konohamaru: No problem. Thanks for the intel. I will use just one jutsu against him.
Mara: A mere human hoping to kill me? Unless you're Uchiha Sasuke or Uzumaki Naruto you don't stand a chance brat. And since the Uchiha is dead and you're not the Hokage you cannot kill me!
Konohamaru releases the cloth on his arm.
Konohamaru smiling: Well then...why don't we put your life on the trial?

The panel shows us the Celest City from above. We can see on one of the streets how a black dragon quickly rises up and then hits a place on the ground.
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Old 02-03-2012, 01:05 PM   #315
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The panel it's switched. It shows Vishnu's chamber.
The Unknown man is approaching Vishnu. Vishnu is sitting at the table waiting for him.
Unknown: Lord Vishnu...
Vishnu: And you are?*
Unknown: Heh...you already know me. At least you gave the order to have me killed. I don't need to say that Yama failed miserably to do it.
Vishnu: What do you want?
Unknown: Well, not to much...
Vishnu: I' impressed that you manage to send an astral projection to me.*
Unknown: Oh...so you've noticed...
Vishnu: You cannot trick me with with that.
Unknown: I like you already.
Vishnu: I'm aware that you sent Mara after Yama. But Mara is about to get killed.
Unknown: Mara is just Quintrix's pawn.
Vishnu suprised: Quintrix, huh?
Unknown: Exactly. You thought that it was over, Vishnu? You thought that sealing away Livontes was the answer? I'm here to declare war to you and to let you know that i intend to release Livontes!
Vishnu: You cannot control him fool.
Unknown: I don't want to control him. Just to set him free.
Vishnu: Well...there is just one mystery for me. Your identity. But i have a theory.
Unknown: So my plan is not a mystery to you?
Vishnu smiling: No.
Unknown: Then why don't you tell me what you know?
Vishnu: Well...i must say that i'm impressed about how you devised it. First you kill your brother. You make contact with Quintrix.Then you wait decades, just to start a war. You use Uchiha Madara and you tell people that you want to collect the tailed beasts in order to achieve our power. After, you kill Madara and you assume your real position. You fight against Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke. You orchestrate the events in order for Naruto to achieve the Rinnegan. Then you manipulate Uchiha Sasuke and you let him escape in order to stop Naruto from repeating the history. You wait in the original dimension, for them to grow confident.You use some tricks to make them come to you, knowing that you will involve us too. You have Sasuke Uchiha fight you and you fake your death at Naruto's hands. We act just as you planned. We attack Naruto and he manages to kill some of our members. You make sure that Shiva and Brahma will betray me, by manipulating them. Then you send Narasimha after Uchiha and, Sasuke gets killed. You also lost Narasimha but it doesn't matter. You anticipated that. You manipulate further Shiva, Quintrix and Brahma. You tell them what they want to hear. You send Mara as a diversion after Yama and in the meantime you have this conversation with me. The true assassin is either Shiva or Quintrix. Stop me if i'm wrong so far.
Unknown: No. You are doing great, actually.
Vishnu: Perfect. Let me continue then. After Yama is dead, you bring chaos upon the Celest City because of the lost of the balance between life and death. You release Livontes and you make him fight me. It doens't matter who will win. Because you will use Quintrix's powerful soul as a sacrifice and you will get our power, leaving us dead. In the meantime, Brahma will bring you the Tailed Beasts except Kurama. But you cannot use my power and *Livontes just like that. First you will seal the seven Bijuus inside you then you will hunt down Killer Bee. You will get also the Hachibi. Then i suppose that you will try to hit two birds with one stone. You will steal a Hyuuga's Byakugan, because it's the only eye missing in order for you achieve the perfect doujutsu. The Sharingan and the Rinnegan are already in your possesion,making your current doujutsu. You will implant the Byakugan in your eyes, thus achieving the perfect eye. The second bird will be your fight with Naruto. You will defeat the Hokage and you will seal Kurama inside you. That way you will be the Juubi's jinchuuriki. Then, you will also seal my power and Livontes's power inside you, thus making yourself the most powerful being in existence. Having our powers, the perfect doujutsu and the Juubi's energy, you will get acces to the Creator's dimension.*

Unknown: I'm impressed. You saw right through me.
Vishnu: Indeed. That was your real plan. You didn't want to challenge us. You wanted to challenge the Creator itself. A bold plan.
Unknown: You cannot say that i'm not creative.
Vishnu: And what if something goes wrong, Raiden? What if something slipped you?
Raiden: Nothing will go wrong. Even this talk with you was planned.
Vishnu: Well...as it looks something is about to go wrong right now. You underestimated one man.
Raiden: Uzumaki Naruto? What can he do against me? He was never able to kill him i just decevied him.
Vishnu: Indeed. You fooled me too. But i'm not talking about Uzumaki Naruto. i'm talking about the man who is going to throw a wrench into your plans.*
Raiden: Who are you talking about?
Unknown voice: He is talking about me.
__________________
When other men blindly follow the truth remember:
Nothing is true!
When other men are limited by morality and law remember:
Everything is permitted!

Quote:
We know the light...but when we shall create the dark?
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