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Old 03-24-2012, 06:29 AM   #421
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by sFrog View Post
This seriously is the most complicated plot I've ever been fortunate to read that actually works out and hasn't gaps in the plot. Stunning... If there is anything out there comparable I really would like to know, since it would be a good read. I've got to admit, Oda is funnier

Vishnu, don't you really think you should get crackin and team up with a decent drawer for your thoughts? Kishi might be the better drawer, but if I had to choose I would prefer the well worked out and complex plot of this fanfiction over that of kishi.
I know ahat you are saying and thank you for the supoort. Unfortunateoy, i don't know any good drawers here in my country that could help me. And since i'm not one myself, i'm afraid that for the time being it will remain just another fanfiction.
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Old 03-24-2012, 07:43 AM   #422
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

I think any critic I may have had has already been said by peeps above. Nice read though. Waiting to see naruto's powerup cos I know u've powered him up,lol. Hmm somebody's gonna die permanently n I smell it... well looking forward to the next installments.
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Old 03-24-2012, 09:02 AM   #423
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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I think any critic I may have had has already been said by peeps above. Nice read though. Waiting to see naruto's powerup cos I know u've powered him up,lol. Hmm somebody's gonna die permanently n I smell it... well looking forward to the next installments.
Your sense of smell it's aqurate my friend.
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Last edited by Vishnu; 03-27-2012 at 11:38 AM.
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Old 03-27-2012, 11:38 AM   #424
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The next one will be up in two days.
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Old 03-27-2012, 04:35 PM   #425
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

looking forward to it...
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Old 03-30-2012, 08:30 AM   #426
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

I'm surry but i will delay it a little. It turns out that i have to study a lot this weekend. Sorry guys.
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:48 AM   #427
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

You my friend will pay dearly for that...lol
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Old 03-30-2012, 04:18 PM   #428
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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You my friend will pay dearly for that...lol
Sorry mate but i really have to study.
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Old 04-06-2012, 11:05 AM   #429
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Again i'm sorry guys. The chapter was ready, but in the last moment i decided to change everything because it would have created a massive plot hole. Tomorrow night it's up. And i promise that you won't be dissappointed.
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Old 04-08-2012, 01:25 PM   #430
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

And it's up guys. I'm sorry that i took so long, but i wasn't content with the original chapter, so i had to rewrite everything. It occured to me that i haven't given much attention to potential awesome characters that i've made like Zero, for example. So i modified to chapter in order to include some of the old characters. Anyway, from this point everything will go faster and we will be back at one chapter per week. I'm aware that this particular chapter will raise some questions, and i'm sorry in advance if i won't be able to asnwer some of them ( because of the spoilers). Anyway without any more delays here it is.



Naruto: The fall of the Guardian.



The panel shows Konoha's army clashing with the bodies everywhere. The army has the upper hand, even though they don't count so much man power. Various familiar faces are seen: Kiba, Shino, Kakashi, Guy, Tenten, and many, many others. After, the scene shots the Beyonders. Krishna is slashing everything around him. Yama is using his dagger to kill as many enemies as possbile.

The scene shows Konohamaru back to back with Yama. Suddenly a man lands near them.

Yama shocked: Agni! But i killed you!
Agni: You killed me indeed...but Raiden brought me back. And today you will die!
Agni forms a blade of fire and dashes quickly towards Yama. Just as he is about to strike the god, the blade clashes with another one. The panel shows Konohamaru, who took out his own sword, blocking Agni's attack.
Agni shocked thinking: The brat! He blocked my assault! An attack that was meant to kill Yama!
Konohamaru with a determined look in his eyes: If you want Yama...you must defeat me first!
Agni shouts: Step aside brat!
Konohamaru pushes back Agni, makes quickly a couple of handsigns and jumps in the air.
Konohamaru: Water release! Earthquake tsunami!
Konohamaru forms a giant tsunami that goes straight towards Agni.
Agni releases a flame and stops the water attack.
Agni: You will need more then that to kill me brat!
Konohamaru keeps making handsigns.
Konohamaru: Fire release! Hell's power!
From the ground emerge several pillars of fire towards Agni. The god jumps and dodges them all.
Konohamaru lands on the ground and looks at Agni.
Agni: You must be pretty stupid. You come at me with fire?*
Konohamaru makes a sign and suddenly he is in Sage Mode.
Yama thinking: He already set up a clone to gather natural energy for him. He is good.
Konohamaru envelops himself also in lightning armor.
Konohamaru: I know...
Agni raises a column of fire around his body, protecting him from any upcoming attacks.
Agni: Get ready brat!*
Konohamaru starts making complicated handsigns.
Konohamaru with a slow voice: I don't think that you realize the extent of what's going to happen.
Clouds are formed into the skies. Thunders are heared, and lightnings are seen. Several of them hits the earth.
Yama thinking surprised: That's Sasuke's jutsu! When did he learned to do it!?!
Konohamaru: My master uses a simmilar attack. But he just concentrates a lightning from above. The natural energy allows me to concentrate several lightnings.*
Suddenly several lightnings are gathered into Konohamaru's right arm, shaped as a spear.
Konohamaru whispering: And shape them like a spear...
He throws the lightning spear at Agni. The attack hits the god at full force, creating a mave blast. As the dust clears up the panel shows Agni injured but alive.
Agni: I admit...it was a good attack...but...
Suddenly he releases a giant flame wall towards Konohamaru.
Agni shouting: But don't get to cocky brat!!!
Konohamaru quickly makes handsigns.
Konohamaru: *Water release. Water wall!!
Konohamaru keeps making handsigns.
Konohamaru: Fire style! Blazing inferno!
Konohamaru releases from his mouts a wall of fire. Agni makes an effort and manages ti jump over it.
Konohamaru's water attack stoped he fire wall.
Agni as he gathers massive energies: You will die brat! This attack...will kill you instantly!
Agni wields above his head a massive ball of fire that reassembles the Sun.
Agni: This is my power! Survive a supernova brat!
But suddenly the giant ball of fire vanishes and Agni falls down on his knees holding his stomach.
Konohamaru is shows making a handsigns.
Agni: What..what did you do to me!?!
Konohamaru: When i attacked you with that lightning, i also slipped a small fire style jutsu. It's called Fire style! Internal inferno. It creates an internal fire that burns the insides of the victim. I thought that it was odd that you were dodging the fire attacks. You can repel the flames that you are creating but not those that attack you. You are weak against fire. How ironic.
Agni shouts: Fuck! I cannot die!*
He suddenly releases waves of fire from his body.
Agni: If i die...you're going down with me!
Konohamaru releases the cloth wrapping his right arm, and drabgs his own sword.
Konohamaru: I don't think so. You see...Vishnu taught me how to be one with my sword's soul. And how to properly channel my power through it...
Agni releases from his mouth a giant fireball towards Konohamaru. In the last moment the boy uses the Flying thunder god and appears behind Agni. He puts his sword at his back. The panel shows Agni's torso. He has a giant hole in it.
Konohamaru: Mystical dragon. One shot...
Agni falls down on the ground dead. Konohamaru's justu killed him in an instant.
Yama thinking: He is on an entire different level! His chakras are not even weakend by the fight. He is like Naruto in terms of power, but like Sasuke in terms of fighting style...if this kid grows up...well...his enemies should kill him now, because he will be unstopable.
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Old 04-08-2012, 01:26 PM   #431
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The panel shows Vishnu standing in front of Livontes several km away from the battlefield.*

Vishnu: What happend Livontes? Why do you do this? We both know that today one of us is going to die, so i think that you also want some answers.So my question, why? Why do you do this?
Livontes: Because i hate you. I hate you. Since the day we saw the Creator talking with Brahma. You were always in my shadow, you were less powerful and cunning then me, but you were the favorite!
Vishnu: How i was the favorite?!? Until your rebellion i was a mere god!
Livontes: I saw it, Vishnu! I saw it! You talking with the Creator! He said something to you that remained in my mind! Quintrix took me to the place where the Creator summoned you! Even though he betrayed us, i still trusted him!*I saw how The Creator told you that there will come a day when Brahma's power won't be enough. And that you must seek him in order to start a new age for us, the gods! You were weaker then me, but i always felt that i was inferior to you!
Vishnu looks at him with regrets on his face.
Vishnu: That day...when i talked with the Creator...he told me to bring you to him with Brahma's power will fade...you didn't hear that part...and the next day you left.*
Livontes shocked: It's this..true?!?
Vishnu: I'm sorry Livontes..l
Livontes: Hmpf...then...there is just one way to settle this. You will give me the control over the Beyonders!
Vishnu: I think that it's too late for that Livontes. You see...you killed in the wars to many of our kind. Your crimes cannot be erased. I'm sorry.
Livontes: I thought that you will say this...
Vishnu: Admit it, Livontes...
Livontes: There is just one path for us...
Vishnu: The one that will put an end to one of us today.
Suddenly the wind gets stronger around them. Lightnings are seen and meteors are falling.
Vishnu activates his Raigan and stares into Livontes's eyes. They are confronting their wills.
Vishnu thinking: The end...

The scene shows Sasuke dashing through the army and slashing several zombies easily. Also the others are doing the same thing. The Kages, Konoha's shinobis and all the others have the upper hand. Suddenly they all stop from their movement and look behind them. A man is slowly walking towards the war zone. The panel shows the Sixth Hokage with the Rinnegan in his eyes, slowly walking. Sasuke has a moment of terror on his face and shouts.
Sasuke shouting: Defences!!!
Suddenly the whole army gets behind Sasuke. Jiraya is shown making quickly handsigns.
Jiraya: Summoning technique! Ten Rashomon gates!*
Jiraya continues making handsings.
Jiraya: Earth release! Giant wall!
Ten Rashomon gates emerges quicky in front of the army, followed by a giant wall made of earth.
Sarutobi is seen making handsigns.
Sarutobi: Summoning technique! Enma's giant pillar protection!
A giant pillar emerges from the ground, behind the gate, matching the size of the Rashomon gates.
Minato quickly makes handsigns.
Minato: Sealing technique! Multiple layered barrier!
A yellow barrier appears around them.
Gaara quickly envelopes his sand around the barrier and Onooki makes a giant sphere of earth around it.
Itachi lands in front of the sphere protecting it with his Susano'o. Sasuke appears next to him activating his Susano'o.
The panel shows that the entire army is behind the multiple shields that were summoned. Naruto is shown walking slowly, and he passes the defences. The whole army trembles at his sudden appearence. The air vibrates around him.
Sasuke looks at him amazed.
Sasuke: It's been a long time, since i saw him like this...
Itachi: You never seen him like this, brother.
Sasuke: What do you mean?
Itachi: You watch but you don't see. He is not the same man. He finally reached his full potential. By defeating the Creator's will he is now at the peak of his powers. I don't think that even all of us combined can survive his powers.*
Naruto looks at the zombie army. He makes a handsign and a wind sword manifests in his hand. He swings the blade and instantly destroyes the enemy army!
Sasuke shocked: Impossible! He mastered his powers!
Naruto turns around and looks at him.
Naruto: Keep the defences up. He is coming. Let me handle him.
Suddenly the area loses it's sunlight. A giant black cloud covers the sun.
From the ground emerges a black shadow. The panel shows Raiden smiling and looking at Naruto. The whole army it's shaken by Raiden's sudden appeareance on the battlefield.
Naruto: So he is finally here...
Sasuke: Raiden...
Raiden: Hello everyone. It seems that we are finally all gathered here. Naruto, Sasuke, Quintrix...
Raiden looks away and spots in the distance Vishnu clashing his will against Livontes.
Raiden: Those two are really making a scene...well, i could just start with you Uzumaki Naruto.
Naruto: Or, you could simply die here today.
Raiden smiles: Uzumaki Naruto. The last time we clashed our powers, you couldn't kill me. What makes you think that you can do it now?*
Naruto: Raiden...you're a fool. You orchestred all of these...but you missed something important. I am powerful. Very powerful. I'm finally the man i am supposed to be.
Raiden: What I see is an arrogant brat who think that he can defy the Gods. I wield powers beyond your comprehension brat.
Naruto: Then, why don't you use them Raiden? Let me tell you why...because you're limited. The Creator limited your powers while you're prisonier in this world.*
Raiden: Even so, you cannot measure with me.
Naruto as he gathers his chakras: Let's see...
Suddenky he vanishes with a red flash and appears behind Raiden. Naruto releases his chakras and sends a Rasen beam at him. Raiden simply takes the attack and he remains unscathed.
Raiden: Uzumaki Naruto. This kind of attacks cannot hurt me.
Suddenly Quintrix's voice is heared.
Quintrix: But these can! *Heaven's release! Angel's will!
Quintrix releases a wave of blue energy that pushes Raiden back.
Raiden: This again huh? You cannot stop me with jutsus like this!*
Quintrix: It worths the shot.
Raiden smiles: Well, well...so many of you against one...it's not fair. Why don't we balance the situation a bit? Ninshu! Eternal sleep disruption!
Suddenly several bodies emerges from the ground. The panel shows Kalkin, Brahma Narasimha and Mara. They are all dead, but they got ressurected by Raiden.
Sasuke:He revived those guys!
Naruto: A technique simmilar to the Edo Tensei. He wants to keep us busy.
Suddenly a group lands near them. The panel shows Udon, Konohamaru, Zero and Kaien.
Naruto: What are you doing here?!?
Konohamaru: We thought to have some fun too. And these guys are the perfect opportunity.
Zero: Yeah...one for each of us.*
Sasuke: You're insane. This guys...are one of the most powerful gods in existence.
Kaien: So what? We can deal with them.
Sasuke: You don't know what you're talking about. One of them nearly killed me!
Udon: But now we have the advantage. We are far beyond our previous levels of power.
Sasuke: No! You won't fight them!
Naruto: Sasuke...leave them. They must prove to us and to themselves that they are ready to take over Konoha. That they are ready to be the next generation of leaders!
Konohamaru: Yeaaah!! Let's go guys!
Suddenly Konohamaru lands in front of Brahma, Udon in front of Mara, Zero choses Narasimha and Kaien fights Kalkin.
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Old 04-08-2012, 01:26 PM   #432
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The panel shows Zero and Narasimha.

Narasimha: You don't stand a chance brat! Leave now, and i will let you survive.
Zero: I don't think so. You see...i know your ability. The more blood we spill, the more powerful you get. But your attack has a weakness. If we don't spill any blood, you're inferior to my power.*
Narasimha: You cannot kill me like that brat! It's impossible to attack me without spilling my blood.
Zero: Actually it's possible.
Zero quickly makes a handsign: Secret arts! Energy sphere!
Narasimha : Nothing happend!
Zero: In fact everything happend. You see...if i didn't had previous intel about your powers i would be dead. Sasuke-sama barely defeated you because he didn't knew what you are capable of. But i do. That's why you lost.
Narasimha tries to create an energy beam but he fails.
Narasimha: What the...!?!
Zero: My justu cancels your access to your own powers. You are defenceless against it. Your powers are composed of two parts: firts, the healing power that allows you to heal from any attack, and the second one that allows you to grow more powerful with the spill of blood. And since you cannot heal yourself right now...one powerful hit...should be enough...so...Farewell...
Zero quickly makes three handsigns: Raiton! One hit!
He releases from the tip of his finger a thin ray of electricity that impales Narasimha right in the heart, killing him.
Zero: Easy...

The panel shows Konohamaru and Brahma.

Brahma: You fool! You cannot kill me! I have the power of the Sun! Even your Hokage barely defeated me!
Konohamaru siling: You think that Naruto was serious when fighting you? Fool.
Brahma smiles as he gathers his energies.
Brahma: You're the fool, little one.*
Suddenly he releases a powerful ray of fire towards Konohamaru. The latter simply jumps over it, while making handsigns.
Konohamaru: Water release! Immense tidal wave attack!
He creates a giant wave that goes straight towards Brahma, but the god destroyes it using flames.
Konohamaru lands on the ground and he starts building his Raiton armor and his Sage Mode.
Konohamaru thinking: His power relates to the Sun. So as long as the Sun gives him power, he has an unlimited array of attacks. Naruto defeated him by obturing the light of the Sun...but i don't have such powers. So...i could use something else...something that i used back at the chuunin exams. And to make sure that he won't be able to evade him i will use the Sage Mode.Also...i need to use a powerful hit to eliminate him after...i think i got it.
Suddenly Konohamaru draws his sword, vanishes and appears above Brahma, with the intent of striking him. Brahma quickly creates a flame sword and he clashes with the young Sarutobi. Konohamaru gets pushed back, but he makes a handsign.
Konohamaru: Earth release! Several spikes damage!
Several spikes emerges from the ground pushing Brahma back. At the same moment a Konohamaru clone appears behind him and tries to hit the god with a giant Oodama Rasengan. Brahma intensifies his flame armor and manages to break the attack. But it was just a diversion to allow Konohamaru to prepare his next jutsu.
Konohamaru: Secret arts! Bringer of darkness technique!
Suddenly Brahma loses his sight, being trapped in a world of darkness.
Brahma smiles: Nice trick kiddo. But i can use the fire to destroy this!
He barely finishes his sentence, because in the same moment Konohamaru throws his sword at the god. The blade impales Brahma in the shoulder pressing him on the ground. He is now completly trapped.
Brahma shouts: What the...!?! Why am i paralyzed?
Konohamaru's voice is heared: Because the blade it's enveloped in Natural energy. Energy that allows me to keep you pinned down. You have lost, Brahma.
The panel shows Konohamaru next to Brahma and revealing his right arm. The one with the black dragon tatoo.
Konohamaru: I perfected this technique.*
Brahma: Mercy!!!
Konohamaru: Mercy? I don't think so...Phantom's power! Nine dragons attack!
He releases from his arm a black dragon that divides into nine dragons. The dragons hits Brahma at full force, consuming his soul.
The panel reveals Brahma's body on the ground and Konohamaru next to it.
Konohamaru: Hmpf...easy one.

The panel shows Udon facing Mara.

Mara: Get lost brat. I'm the god of illusions! You cannot beat me!
Udon smiles: How convinent.*
Mara: Think twice, brat. If you chose to fight me you will die.
Udon smiles, takes of his patch, revealing his Sharingan and makes a couple of handsigns: Summoning Jutsu! Secret arts! Transfering attack!
A small mosquito appears behind him.*
Udon: Let's do it.
Mara quickly throws an arrow shaped energy attack at Udon, that hits the kid straight into the chest.
Mara: Loser. You died right away...i told you...
Udon: I don't think so.
His body reforms several meters away from Mara.
Mara: What the!?!
Udon quickly makes handsigns: Feather Illusion Jutsu!
Mara looks at him and instantly falls asleep.
Udon: Izanagi...i took it to the level where nobody can ever kill me...and my summoning allows me to transfer any damage to it. So when i should lose my eye...actually the summoning loses one. You're in a genjutsu right now...and you will die.
Suddenly Udon is behind Mara chopping off his head with a kunai.
Udon: I'm the most powerful genjutsu user...not you...

The panel shows Kaien facing Kalkin.

They don't use the words, they simply started the fight. Kalkin is throwing several heavy punches at Kaien, and the boy endures them all.*
Kaien makes quickly handsigns: Fire release! Ultimate devastation!
His fist gets enveloped in fire, he makes a spin and punches a hole into Kalkin's chest.
Kaien: Farewall, nameless god...
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Old 04-08-2012, 01:27 PM   #433
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The panel shows Raiden's surprised face.

Raiden: So...that brats did it.
Sasuke: You shouldn't have doubted them.
Naruto: They are ready, Sasuke. Now i can go all out against Raiden, because even if i die i know that the next generation is ready to take over.
Sasuke: Indeed...
Raiden smiles: Go all out? You don't stand a chance.
Sasuke smiles: Quintrix...add your defences to those existent. Me and Naruto are going to show Raiden what it means to be powerful.
Quintrix releases his energies: Divine judgement! Gates of heaven protection!
Large gates emerge from the ground in front of the countless defences.
Naruto and Sasuke, both of them make a couple of steps forward smiling.
Naruto: Raiden...let us show you...the power of..
Sasuke: Hokage and God slayer!
Suddenly they both release their energies. Their combined power is crushing. It tears the earth apart. Even Raiden gets pushed back, and has difficulties standing in front of them.
Naruto gathers Natural Energy, and releases the full power of Kurama.
Sasuke has activated his Spiralling Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan, and slowly a dark chakra armor starts enveloping him.
Raiden smiles: So...you're both really going all out, huh?
The panel shows Naruto and Sasuke. Naruto is enveloped in a red shroud of chakra, has e orange markings of a Sage around his eyes, and the Rinnegan in his eyes. Sasuke has the Spiralling EMS and he is covered in a dense dark chakra made armor. He also holds a sword made of dark energy.
The panel shows Raiden's eyes with the Spiralling doujutsu activated. The look in his eyes is a menacing one.
Raiden: Let's do it...
Suddenly the whole scene gets confused, by the sudden power releases. The panel shows Sasuke making a step forward.
Sasuke: Stay behind Naruto. I will go first.
Sasuke instantly appears in front of Raiden and swings his sword at Raiden's head. He barely has time to create an energy sword to protect himself from Sasuke's attack. The clash causes a giant explosion that creates a huge crater. The panels shows Sasuke and Raiden sword fighting. They are evenly matched. Sasuke manages to parry Raiden's attack and Raiden manages to avoid Sasuke's assault.
Suddenly Naruto makes a handsigns, and the ground starts raising. Multiple fragments of earth are ripped out of the ground. As they fly into the air, Naruto leaves his hand down, and the fragments start falling and aiming at Raiden. Raiden makes a handsigns and sends multiple beams from his fingers to destroy them. Sasuke uses the momentum, jumps back and instantly makes handsigns.
Sasuke: Dimensional shattering lightning blade!
He dashes towards Raiden with the lightning blade in his hand, but Raiden manages to parry the attack with his sword. The next moment he turns around, only to avoid a Kurama Rasenshuriken sent by Naruto.
Sasuke: You're quick.
Raiden: And you're naive to think that you can defeat me!
Sasuke: Not quite!
Suddenly the panel shows both, Naruto and Sasuke above Raiden, ready to strike him.
Raiden quickly makes a handsigns and ahouts: Ninshu! Beam of chaos!
Raiden releases a powerful energy beam that hits the heroes directly!

The panel shows Vishnu and Livontes.

Both of them are clashing their wills . Lihtnings are striking the ground, lava it's coming out of it, there are earthquakes, the wind is very strong and meteors are falling from the sky. Cracks are opened in the dimension. Everything is crumbling around them.The whole setup is an apocalyptic one. Both of them have a determined looks in their eyes.*
Vishnu: This is the end, Livontes.*
Livontes: Indeed...one of us will die here today!
Suddenly Vishnu creates out of nothing a lightning sword, and he activates the Raigan in his eyes.
Livontes creates a flame sword and looks at Vishnu with hatred.
They both dash towards eachother, each holding his own blade. Just as they are about to clash the panel shows each's face. Livontes has a face marked by hatred, pain and ager. Vishnu has a sad face, with tears in his eyes and pain on it.
They clash. And the clash is so powerful that it creates a huge sphere of released energy. The blast eradicates everything in it's path. Mountains are reduced to the ground. The sky goes dark. Everything loses it's life. The Earth itself gets powerfuly shaked by their clash.
The panel shows the aftermath. It shows Vishnu and Livontes face to face. Then it shows their bodies. Vishnu impaled Livontes right in the heart with his sword. But Livontes's sword also pierced Vishnu's chest.
Livontes: Heh..you've won...
Vishnu: No...i have lost..
Livontes: What?*
Vishnu: My friend...even though we were enemies, i still considered you my friend.
Livontes smiles: Fool...but you're right...you lost. You just won the battle against me. But the war...was lost from the beggining. The end is near Vishnu. Can you feel it? Everything went against you.
Vishnu: The Creator gaves us signs that we will win.
Livontes: You're so blind...the Creator was an impartial being. An objective entity that developed this world, based on the illusion of time. If he was really involved in our war...it means that he lost his objectivity.
Vishnu: He gave Quintrix the mission to kill Raiden! He helped Sasuke and Naruto!*
Livontes: You're a fool, Vishnu..it was all part of his plan. Can't you see? What is the Creator?
Vishnu: The being that created us. An entity that stands above all of us.
Livontes: And, why would such entity involve itself in the course of this world?*
Vishnu surprised: I...i don't know...
Livontes: And who is Raiden, Vishnu?
Vishnu: He is the opposed side of the Creator. An iration, subjective entity that has many simmilarties with the human kind. Arrogant, selfish...
Livontes: You still fail to see the entire picture?
Vishnu's face shows the revelation he just had.
Vishnu shocked: You mean that...!?!
Livontes smiles and coughs blood.
Livontes with his last breathe: Exactly...farewell my deceived friend...it was all in vain...but don't worry...you couldn't have done anything against Raiden...it was our destiny...he already won the game. We lost. We were just pawns...
With these said, Livontes slowly vanishes. His body turns into ash and it's taken by the wind.
Vishnu: Farewell...old friend...
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Old 04-08-2012, 01:27 PM   #434
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The scene shows Naruto and Sasuke falling on the ground. Raiden's attack injured them a bit.

Raiden as he makes steps towards them: Fools. I told you.*
Suddenly he has a surprised expression.
Raiden: It seems that their battle has come to an end. Vishnu won.
He barely finishes talking and Vishnu lands in front of them.
Raiden: Hello, my friend.
Vishnu: I'm not your friend.
Raiden smiles: Oh, but you are. You've been my friend for the past 10 milenniums.
Sasuke: What the...!??
Raiden: And it's all thanks to you Sasuke boy!*
Vishnu: Shut up Raiden.*
Raiden: Why should i Vishnu? Have you realised the extent of the plan i have devised?
Vishnu: I did. When you didn't showed any interest for my fight with Livontes. It was only to weaken me..a fight that wasmeant to lead me to my next action. You didn't summoned him in order to capture our energies. No...you summoned him in order to make me weaker...to make me consume all my power against him...but...there is still something that you need from this world...otherwise you wouldn't have come here.
Raiden: Exactly. Quite clever. But it's obvious that i won't tell you what. And right now, you don't pose a threat for me. You have consumed all your energy against Livontes.
The panel shows Naruto.
Naruto as he slowly rises up: Vishnu..get out of the way.
Vishnu looks at Naruto and makes slowly a step out of the way.
Naruto smiles as he releases all Kurama's chakra.
Naruto: Raiden...you will witness...my ultimate attack!
He quickly starts making handsigns.
Naruto: Fire give me the energy! Water give me the essence! Earth give me the endurance! Lightning give me the power! Wind give me the speed! Heavenly Outher Path! Dimensional summoning! Light energy creation! Angel's power!
Naruto releases a beam of light from his hands. A beam that it's so powerful, that affects even the mater around it. Everything starts vanishing around it. It consumes the energies of the surroundings, as it gets closer to Raiden.
Raiden shouts: You cannot kill me!
Vishnu looks amazed at Naruto's attack and thinks: This kid...he has much more power then me! He surpassed me...he combined all the elements in a single attack.
The beam hits Raiden at full force devastating the surroundings. It eliminates everything that has life around Raiden.*
Naruto falls down on his right knee sweating heavily.
Naruto: That attack...it took everything i had...is he dead?
Suddenly Raiden's voice is heared.
Raiden: No.
The dust clears up, revealing an injured Raiden. He is still alive.
Raiden: But i admit, Uzumaki Naruto...you've grown..
Naruto: Shit!
Sasuke runs towards Raiden while making complicated handsigns.
Sasuke: Spiralling Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan! Demonic ways! Galaxy clash!
Suddenly, in each cardinal point, black holes open. Four giant black holes appears next to Raiden. One at his left, one at his right, one below him and one above him.
Sasuke shouts: Die Raideeeenn!!!!*
From the black holes, four dark beams emerges. The beams hits Raiden at full force creating a massive blast.
Sasuke lands on the ground. As the dust clears up, from the smoke a thin purple ray comes at great speed towards Sasuke, hitting him in the shoulder.
The panel shows Raiden much more injured, but still alive.
Raiden: You both have grown. But it's still not enough.
Sasuke jumps and dashes furiously towards Raiden. In the last second Vishnu catches him, stoping the young Uchiha from a sure death.
Vishnu: Stop it Sasuke! Don't lose your head!
Sasuke: He must die!
Raiden: Cocky this one...anyway Sasuke...thank you...if it wasn't for you...i would have not suceeded this plan.
Sasuke: What do you mean!?!
Vishnu with a sad voice: He means that you were the catalyst that allowed him to go this far.
Raiden: Exactly. By giving you the Spiralling EMS I created a connection between us. It allowed me to manipulate your powers. Have you ever wondered why you got a sudden power boost when Narasimha nearly killed you? Or when Nirriti nearly killed you? Or...when you nearly killed Naruto? I was behind it. You facilitated my plan, Uchiha Sasuke.
Sasuke looks at Raiden, makes a spin, breaks Vishnu's guard and dashes towards Raiden.
Raiden gives the boy a kick that throws him away.*
Raiden: It's time to end this.
Raiden makes handsigns and points his hand at Sasuke.
Raiden: Farewell boy...Ninshu! Particle destruction!
He lets out of his hand a thin ray towards Sasuke's chest. The young Uchiha cannot avoid the attack anymore. He is good as dead.
The panel shows Sasuke's shocked face. The next panel shows Raiden's content face.
Raiden: And that's one down...
The scene present a disturbing image. It shows Vishnu standing in front of Sasuke. He took the blow instead of the young Uchiha.
Sasuke whispers: Vishnu...
Vishnu turns around and looks at Sasuke smiling. He falls down on his knees coughing blood.
Naruto lands in front of him. At the same moment Krishna, Quintrix, Yama and several others attack Raiden, giving Naruto and Sasuke the opportunity to help Vishnu.
Naruto shouts: Sakuraa! Sakuraa! Heal him!
Vishnu: Stop it, Hokage...it's too late for me.*
Sasuke: I'm sorry Vishnu...i didn't wanted you to sacrifice for me!
Vishnu smiles: You're wrong, Sasuke...don't worry...it was my destiny...
Naruto: We cannot win without you, Vishnu!
Vishnu: We...already lost Naruto. It's not about winning. It's about the correct choice. You will find the truth soon enough. I'm sorry guys...i'm sorry for everything that it's going to happen...time...it's just a lie...we were all decevied...
Naruto: What do you mean?!?
Vishnu: You will find out...Naruto...i tried to live my life by the best of my ability. I think that, compared to you...i have realised nothing...you are a great Hokage...like none before you and none after you...Sasuke...i tried to guide you...i have failed...because you already know your path boy. Raiden must die. I suppose that you will take care of that.
Sasuke: I will Vishnu...
Vishnu: Because...today...you'll just earn a delay, boy...don't lose yourself Sasuke...never...
Sasuke looks at him and smiles: I won't Vishnu...i promise...
Vishnu with his last breathe: You're just kids compared to me...but you proved to be more valuable then me...Sasuke...good luck in your quest...and Naruto...you will be a better guardian then me...farewell...-he quickly makes a handsign and for a moment revelation strikes Naruto's face.
With these said the former Commander of the Trimurti, leader of the Beyonders, Guardian of time, ruler of the Celest City, Lord Vishnu, passed away.
Sasuke looks at the body of the great man and a tear rolls down on his cheeks.
Sasuke: We will defeat Raiden!

Naruto and Sasuke get up and look at Raiden's location. He managed to incapacitate the shinobis attacking him.

Sasuke shouts: Everyone...get behind. We will handle him from this point.
Naruto: Sasuke...leave him to me.
Sasuke: You're insane? The light release nearly killed you. You're no shape to fight him alone!
Naruto instantly makes three handsigns: Rinnegan sealing jutsu! Power block!
He manages to touch Sasuke's chest, paralyzing him.
Sasuke: What are doing?!? Are you insane? Release the seal, Naruto! You cannot win by yourself! You will die in vain!
Naruto: No...i won't die in vain, Sasuke. I will take the bastard with me.
Naruto goes towards Raiden as Sasuke shouts at him to stop.

The panel shows Raiden smiling. He looks at Naruto.

Raiden: You've chosen to fight me by yourself, Uzumaki Naruto?
Naruto: Indeed, Raiden. I haven't shown you my full power yet.
Raiden: Look at you. You're barely standing. That light element attack nearly killed you, and it was your best move. What do you think that you got against me, at could actually kill me?
Naruto smiles as he starts gathering his powers: What i got against you, Raiden? It's quite simple. ..
Naruto activates his Rinnegan and three lightnings starts manifesting in his eyes.
Naruto with a determined look: The power of the Beyonders!!!

The end.
Next chapter: The devil's bargain.

Tell me what you think guys.

Oh, and probably there willbe two more chapters and this fanfic will reach it's end. But i'm considering to make the third part also, because i have some good ideas about how it should continue. Obviously it will introduce new enemies, old characters and a whole new setup. I was also thinking about making a two chapter backround story about Vishnu: how he rose to the power...his battles...if you guys want it.
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Last edited by Vishnu; 04-08-2012 at 01:31 PM.
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Old 04-08-2012, 02:15 PM   #435
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

So basically naruto has inherited vishnu's lightning powers right smh? nice read though, luking to the continuation
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