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Old 06-17-2012, 07:45 PM   #841
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Scene continues from page 49.....

Quote:
Naruto Fan Fic Chronicles: The Keepers

We pan around the room zooming in on everyone's shocked face. The panel cuts to Onoki who suddenly stops floating and falls and crashes in the center of the table.

Naruto- are you okay flying gramps?

Onoki nods at to say he’s fine and then slowly sits up and looks at Naruto.

Onoki- are you absolutely sure ?!!

Naruto leans back in the chair arms crossed

Naruto- Yes!

Kakashi- The Sage of Six paths, I thought he was a myth.

Onoki- NO no no, Kakashi he is no Myth he was a god amongst men.

Raikage- Don’t be so foolish old man. People can call themselves a god all they want, but that does not make it so…

Onoki loos at Raikage

Onoki- That may be true, but that’s what made him so different he never once called himself a god…It was the people around him that gave him that title.

Gaara- Onoki how do you know so much about a man that has been gone way before our time?

Mei- yeah!

Kakashi- yes, please tell.

Onoki- (sighs)- …OK you must understand the info I have gathered on this man comes from a very credible source.

Kakashi- how credible can it be? As Gaara pointed out he’s been gone for quite some time.

Onoki pans his gaze at all the Kage, first to Mei, Katsuchi, Raikage, Gaara then to Kakashi

Onoki- My source came directly from the Keepers of History… the Guardians of Our Past…

Gaara- The keepers of History?

Onoki looks at Gaara

Onoki- Yes, the Keepers of History… Gaara you yourself have pointed out the sage came way before our time. Which is certainly true for us but not for them..

Kakashi- what do you mean not for them?

Raikage- WHO ARE THEY ?!!!

Onoki glances at Raikage but turns and focuses on Naruto, who is still leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed.

Onoki- The Keepers of History…The Guardians of Our Past…. {sighs}… were None other than the Uzumaki clan.

Everyone is in shock except for Naruto who has no reaction.
Kakashi glances at Naruto but quickly brings his attention back to Onoki.


Kakashi- please continue…

Onoki nods

Onoki- as I was saying before, we might be connected with the sage 15 degrees of separation generation wise… but the Uzumaki’s would have only needed 5 generations to be connected to the sage.

Raikage- how is that even possible?!!

Onoki pans the Kages faces but ends up focusing on Naruto once again

Onoki- Naruto….

Naruto opens his eyes and looks at Onoki

Onoki- Your clan was known for their Longevity… while on average a normal shinobi could live to a feeble and barely mobile age of 92. Your Clan the Uzumaki’s surpassed that… They on average lived to be a healthy and very much active 125 years of age

Mei is now looking at Naruto

Mei- I knew they were know as the longevity clan, but 125 years that just sounds so unlikely…

Onoki- It is very much true… I was told by an elder of the Uzumaki clan himself.

Onoki sighs and looks down at the table shaking his head

Onoki- They were such a peaceful clan, and yet they had to be feared.

Naruto- FEARED?!!! FEARED?

Kakashi- Calm down Naruto…

Onoki- You must understand Naruto, that every village feared the Uzumaki clan, their seals were legendary, their life seemed never ending and when threatened…. They would become the fiercest warriors anyone has ever seen!... and Naruto they were the most respected clan in the Shinobi world.

Naruto- Then who tried to wipe them out?!!

Gaara- Tried?

Naruto points to himself

Naruto- I’m still here aren’t I.

Gaara smiles
All eyes are back on Naruto and Onoki


Onoki- I do not know.

Naruto- How is THAT Possible?! You just said it yourself that the Uzumaki clan was known to be the fiercest warriors in our world and the most respected clan….and YET you do not know the name of who tried to wipe them out!!

The room goes silent

Naruto- Their Names should be Legendary with that feat alone!!

Onoki- You are correct, they would be legendary, and yet I know not who attacked your clan…

Naruto abruptly gets up from the table and faces away from the kages and Onoki…

Kakashi- Naru…..

Onoki- Naruto!

Naruto slowly turns around

Naruto-...?!!!

Onoki is on his knees on the table bowing in front of Naruto …

End
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Old 06-18-2012, 12:44 PM   #842
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

if you can please tell me what you think. Hate it or Like it and why,
it will help me if i continue this.

Thank you

Last edited by Narut0360; 06-18-2012 at 12:50 PM.
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Old 06-18-2012, 01:03 PM   #843
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

You have taken your fanfiction in a different direction that the others. I for one enjoy it and applaud your creativity. But in the end you should do it because you want to do it and let us benefit from that.
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Old 06-18-2012, 01:19 PM   #844
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by royalmage View Post
You have taken your fanfiction in a different direction that the others. I for one enjoy it and applaud your creativity. But in the end you should do it because you want to do it and let us benefit from that.
Yeah i cant do what J_H and Vishnu do and create almost a whole new universe so i kept it simple and with a semi plausible plot. and i do enjoy writing these i actually have a lot written down i just have to type it up. so if people enjoy them i will keep typing them up.

Thanks RoyalMage for your thoughts.
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Old 06-18-2012, 01:51 PM   #845
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narut0360 View Post
Yeah i cant do what J_H and Vishnu do and create almost a whole new universe so i kept it simple and with a semi plausible plot. and i do enjoy writing these i actually have a lot written down i just have to type it up. so if people enjoy them i will keep typing them up.

Thanks RoyalMage for your thoughts.
It's pretty awesome. I never thought about going in this direction. You have something nice there with the Uzumaki's being the Keepers of History. Exploit that. Good job!
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Old 06-18-2012, 04:08 PM   #846
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

yeah, royalmage is right. write it if it's what you enjoy, regardless what another thinks. trust me when i say, someone will like it. you've got my attention with your storyline.

but i also understand completely why you want the feedback.

here it is:
other than the shortness of the chapter, it was pretty good. i think you need to reveal oonoki's connection to the uzumaki soon.
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Old 06-18-2012, 07:01 PM   #847
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Ok, I've been reading all the Fan Fiction posts but I was moving and that sh*t is a pain. Now I can take a breath and discuss some things.

VIshnu - First off, you know I'm very much a fan my friend. I'll offer what I feel really good about and possible shifts for the story. Lets start with Naruto. I like the idea of it having to be a work in progress to obtain that power but I'm still confused. With the Rinnegan, doesn't it bestow the ability to deduce ALL types of jutsus and doutjutsus? Question being that with that wouldn't he at the very least know what his power is and just have to provide the work to obtain it meaning his clone jutsu would allow him to gain the experience required in short order. Just something I was curious about. I'll also say I like the intermingling of the different genres of Gods and mythical characters like the Greek gods but my biggest sticking point is probably how they can even measure up. Not that they fight but if Zeus and Hades are in the story they MUST be able to at least hang with the other Naruto characters. Just sayin.....
Ok, one area that miffed my slightly was the idea that Vishnu would walk into the lion's den to grab his 3 thousand year booty call affair and NOTHING of an action standpoint goes down. All the fellas know, if you f*ck with my ol' lady you got serious problems. Lol, just something I looked at.
Alright, now to Faust and Dante, what is up with these guys. I'm trying to determine who they are, their lineage, and why the f*ck they are outclassing some of the stories most powerful characters in this story? Seems strange these guys even compare to Naruto & Susake.

So my thinking is we discuss this power of Faust & Dante, update Naruto with the completion of his powers now being fully integrated, Sasuke his should learn some very important discovery regarding his abilities.

J_H - I love where you stopped the story because its completely ready for a battle with that. Fuijin & Naruto are looking at joining Sasuke & Raijin I believe, is that right? I'll say that you pulled a nice interaction at the very beginning of the last post with the introduction of Amatsu and how he has the group of four operating. A battle royale is in the works no question. My only critiques really are concerning what seems to be on the horizon: Hinata gaining knowledge after being given the location of the scrolls, Naruto seems ready to put his developing powers into action, we get to see Sasuke kick into gear now that he's being challenged, Raijin is on now too and Fuijin looks to give a hand, and Kabuto is also in the mix to further push Sasuke as well. Izanagi has the Kages & villages preparing a new collective army which will include newly cemented jinchurikki to boot. So my man I'm fully amped for this things you got there.

Jericho UZ - once again my man, you gotta roll with that Uzu Samurai theme. Its tailor made for a story to be extended from.

N360- what I like about where yours is headed is that NOBODY has even hinted at that angle. Please bro lets see what you got there.
You've got a reader and fan in me homie. Just flesh it out and by the look of your post its something that has serious legs.
Looking forward to it all fellas.....
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Old 06-18-2012, 08:48 PM   #848
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
J_H - I love where you stopped the story because its completely ready for a battle with that. Fuijin & Naruto are looking at joining Sasuke & Raijin I believe, is that right? I'll say that you pulled a nice interaction at the very beginning of the last post with the introduction of Amatsu and how he has the group of four operating. A battle royale is in the works no question. My only critiques really are concerning what seems to be on the horizon: Hinata gaining knowledge after being given the location of the scrolls, Naruto seems ready to put his developing powers into action, we get to see Sasuke kick into gear now that he's being challenged, Raijin is on now too and Fuijin looks to give a hand, and Kabuto is also in the mix to further push Sasuke as well. Izanagi has the Kages & villages preparing a new collective army which will include newly cemented jinchurikki to boot. So my man I'm fully amped for this things you got there.
kidd,
all i'm going to say is that you're half-right.

haven't had any time to work on the ff, but i know which direction i want to go. and from what you've posted, i think you will like the direction.
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Old 06-19-2012, 12:09 AM   #849
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Cool Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jekyl_hyde View Post
kidd,
all i'm going to say is that you're half-right.

haven't had any time to work on the ff, but i know which direction i want to go. and from what you've posted, i think you will like the direction.
Yep, pretty sure I will based on the stuff written to this point.
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Old 06-19-2012, 12:26 AM   #850
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by Narut0360 View Post
if you can please tell me what you think. Hate it or Like it and why,
it will help me if i continue this.

Thank you
Definitely Continue I Like It Very Much
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Old 06-19-2012, 07:41 AM   #851
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Narut0360 it was good man i enjoyed it you should continue
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Old 06-19-2012, 01:36 PM   #852
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Catastrophe Part 2
*Scene opens in the Hokage’s office. Gaara has just left, leaving Tsunade, Kakashi, Gai, Hinata and Ao in her office. Tsunade is sitting at her desk. She looks disturbed.*
Kakashi: Guys, would you give us a moment?
*Ao nods and leaves the office. Gai picks up Hinata in his arms and carries her out of the office. Kakashi stands before Tsunade opposite her desk.*
Kakashi: Lady Tsunade… if something is wrong… we must
Tsunade: You don’t understand.
Kakashi: Understand what?
Tsunade: Izanagi told me…. he told me… that this will not end favorably for us.
Kakashi: We’ve faced insurmountable odds before, bu…
Tsunade: Dammit Kakashi, we’re all going to die!
*Kakashi looks at Tsunade.*
Tsunade: Amatsu has the Amenonohoko. He could kill Izanagi, Suijin, Raijin, and Fujin at any time. And then, he confides in me that an army of dragon sage clones is what attacked Kirigakure… Kabuto is still around…. and now…
Kakashi: What?
Tsunade: We’re not up against the likes of Madara. We’re up against gods. Gods who could wipe us off the surface, which they almost did to Iwagakure.
Kakashi: So what are you saying?
Tsunade: We’ve never faced a situation like this. We’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t.
Kakashi: What do you mean?
*Tsunade looks at Kakashi seriously.*
Tsunade: Summon every single jounin still in Konoha.
Kakashi standing at attention: Aye!
*Scene switches to Shikamaru and Temari, heading towards Port City. Both stop abruptly and look around.*
Shikamaru: This seems far enough.
Temari: And I don’t see anyone around.
*Flashback scene to Shikamaru and Temari packing for their trip. As they are about to leave from the main gate, they are approached by Shizune, who hands them a scroll. She is seen whispering into Shikamaru’s ear. He goes wide-eyed as he looks at Shizune, turning to Temari. The two head out. Flashback ends. Shikamaru takes out the scroll.*
Temari: So what’s on this scroll?
Shikamaru: Shizune said not to open it until we were beyond the halfway point. She also said to make sure no one was around to see this scroll, not even Naruto or Sasuke.
Temari: I wonder why she said that.
Shikamaru: C’mon, surely you should have an idea how those two operate now.
*Shikamaru unravels the scroll, seeing instructions for him to do several handsigns. Shikamaru performs the handsigns and the scroll goes blank. All of a sudden, words are appearing on the scroll. The next panel shows Shikamaru stunned.*
Temari: What is it?
Shikamaru: Our mission was a façade. We’re actually going to get Sakura and the Mizukage and bring them back to Konoha.
Temari: So why the change in mission?
Shikamaru: Because… we may be bringing back carcasses.
*Scene switches to Sasuke trying to stand, facing Amerterasu, and Tsukuyomi. He has a smirk on his face.*
Amerterasu: Why do you smile when your demise is only moments away human?
Sasuke: My demise?
*Tsukuyomi flashes right in front of Sasuke, trying to punch him in his gut, but Sasuke blocks it. Tsukuyomi stares at Sasuke in astonishment. Sasuke then kicks Tsukuyomi in his chest, pushing him back a bit.*
Tsukuyomi: He has some fight in him sister.
Amerterasu: Aye, it seems so. Question is, can he manage to save his wife?
*Sasuke goes wide-eyed and turns to face in the direction Sakura was thrown. Scene switches to Sakura who is seen getting kicked by Kabuto, sent flying backwards towards the Mizukage, Juugo, and SSM. The group surrounds Sakura. Every swordsman unsheathes their sword, entering into a battle stance. Kabuto laughs.*
Kabuto: How amusing! The only thing missing is Naruto’s naivety and assuredness that everything is going to end how you say… happily ever after.
*The scene focuses on Sakura who now has a serious look. She bull rushes through the group, heading straight towards Kabuto. Just as she is about to swing at Kabuto, she is stopped, by running into a person’s back. The panel zooms out to show Suijin, holding a sword that Kabuto was about to thrust into Sakura.*
Suijin: I understand you are close to Naruto, and have some frustration with this person *grunts* but don’t lose your head in a fight… or you will literally lose your head.
*Kabuto is seen grinning.*
Kabuto: Suijin, this is the last time you will interfere in my affairs.
Suijin: Is that so… a human… defeating a god?
Kabuto: Who said anything about me?
*Suijin goes wide-eyed as he suddenly withdraws, looking around.*
Suijin: Where is he?
Kabuto grins, thinking: He really has them spooked. This is going all too perfectly.
*Scene switches to Izanagi and Raijin.*
Izanagi: Raijin, go aide Suijin. It appears that Amatsu will make his presence known soon.
*Raijin nods and flashes over to Suijin. Hachimon walks up behind Izanagi. Izanagi takes a deep breath.*
Izanagi: To think… my own son and nephew… I will not ask why, for I already know the answer.
Susanoo: This wouldn’t have happened father, had you not given our powers to these pitiful humans.
Izanagi: Your greed right now shows that you were never capable of wielding your powers.
*Scene switches to Konoha, inside Hinata’s apartment where she is being watched over by Kakashi, Gai, and Kurenai.*
Gai: Are you sure?
Kakashi: Aye.
Kurenai: So… what do we do? Someone needs to be here with her.
Kakashi: Aye. I have someone who should be stopping by any moment now.
*A knock is heard at the door.*
Voice: Let me in Kakashi-sensei!
*Kakashi goes to open the door revealing Konohamaru.*
Konohamaru: So how long will you guys be?
Kakashi: Shouldn’t be more than an hour.
Konohamaru: And what do I do if she wakes up?
Kurenai: Keep her here until we return.
*The three jounin leave as Konohamaru walks over and sits in a chair next to the couch that Hinata is laying on.*
Konohamaru: I hope you’re ok Hinata-chan… for Naruto’s sake. He’s gonna kill whoever did this to you.
*Scene switches to a field, with all of Konoha’s jouning standing around. Tsunade approaches the group.*
Tsunade: I’m going to make this short. Some dire news has been brought to my attention. And with this news, certain events are going to take place. As you’ve all heard by now, Kirigakure and Iwagakure as we know them are no more. And it has been surmised that Suna and Kumo could be next. I’m going to head to the Whirlpool Country, to meet with the other kages about this bit of news that has been delivered to me. No one will accompany me. Shikaku…
Shikaku: Yes milady…
Tsunade: We must be prepared to take on refugees. Make the necessary preparations.
Gai: For how long milady?
Tsunade: I’ve been advised that the longer this war lasts, the better for us.
*Tsunade flickers out, as the jounin look at each other.*
Random jounin: What does she mean by that?
Gai: Is that all she told you Kakashi?
Kakashi: No… and for now, I’m not going to share it with you. But we need to make sure an emergency meeting of the jounin can be held at a moment’s notice.
Shikaku stunned: So she means to do that?
Kakashi: I think so.
*Scene switches back to Hinata’s apartment, showing Konohamaru taking a piss. Hinata sits up abruptly, looking around. Realizing where she is, she looks around seeing no one and flashes out. Konohamaru returns, noticing that Hinata is missing.*
Konohamaru: Oh shit. Kakashi is going to kill me. And if he doesn’t, Naruto will.
*Konohamaru runs off to find Kakashi. Scene switches back to the Whirlpool country, showing Sakura, Mei, and SSM battling the clone army.*
Mei: We should break off into two teams of four.
Sakura: Why?
Mei: Because you’re our only medic. One team will take the right side while the other takes the left. Juugo will take the front. It’s our best chance for survival.
Juugo: Agreed.
*Juugo transforms as the Mizukage and SSM gather on the left and right sides Sakura. The group begins to move towards the clone army. Several clones leap at the group. One is caught mid-air by Juugo, him slamming the clone down into the ground by its head. Kazuka the swings his blade down, beheading the clone.*
Sakura: That’s one way of handling these guys.
*Jamena impales two clones on his sword, thrusting it into the ground. Kazuka spins over, swinging his blade down the on the clones, beheading these two.*
Mei: Is Kazuka’s blade the best one against the clones?
Choujourrou: Aye milady.
Mei: Shio, will you blade be as effective?
Shio: Afraid not milady. But it is the second best, that is if Jamena can wrangle up several of them for me on his blade.
Choujourrou: Ok, change of plans. Let’s form a wedge. Hiru, you’re up front. Jamena, you take the first left, while Kazuka takes the first right. Shio, you’ll be behind Jamena. Toyo, you’ll be behind Kazuka. I’ll take the rear on the left while Chizo takes the right rear. Juugo and Mizukage-sama will take up the rear middle, leaving Sakura-chan in the middle to heal anyone if need be.
Mei: Sounds like a plan.
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Old 06-19-2012, 01:36 PM   #853
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

*The group reshuffles around as they press forward towards Sasuke and the beach. Scene switches to Kabuto, Ryu, Suijin, and Raijin.*
Ryu: Don’t you think it’s time that we showed them our true power?
Kabuto: Not yet.
Suijin: You think you can toy with us?
Kabuto grinning: Of course. I know you can sense him, but you don’t know exactly where he is at. Does that drive you mad?
Raijin: Calm down brother.
*Scene switches to Sasuke, Tsukuyomi, and Amerterasu fighting. Sasuke is doing everything he can to fend of the two as they attack simultaneously.*
Sasuke panting: I was hoping I would have to resort to this, but since it’s the two of you, I think I just might…
*Panel focuses in on Sasuke’s EMS. The next panel shows him staring at Amerterasu, shooting the black flame at her. She is hit directly, but walks out of the flame.*
Amerterasu: Do you think that can harm me?
*Sasuke is stunned. He glances over his shoulder, seeing Susanoo wield weapons that looked similar to those that belonged to Madara’s Susanoo.*
Sasuke in thought: Shit… well, this should at least work.
*Sasuke stares at Tsukuyomi, sending him into the dimension. Tsukuyomi begins to step towards Sasuke.*
Tsukuyomi: Haven’t you learned by now that you can’t harm me here. This is my dimension after all.
Sasuke: I didn’t bring you here to harm you with this genjutsu. I brought you here to face you one on one.
Tsukuyomi: Pretty smart boy.
*Tsukuyomi begins to walk towards Sasuke.*
Tsukuyomi: You catch on fast. I’ll admit that.
*Sasuke immediately covers himself in his Susanoo. He fires an arrow at Tsukuyomi, which he dodges. Tsukuyomi charges at Sasuke, but stops abruptly as Sasuke surrounds himself with Amerterasu flames.*
Tsukuyomi: You catch on real fast boy.
Sasuke: You ain’t seen nothing yet.
*Sasuke has his Susanoo ready another arrow, but lightning is seen coursing through this arrow. Sasuke fires the arrow, hitting Tsukuyomi square in the chest. Tsukuyomi is sent back flying. A dust cloud resides over the area where Tsukuyomi was hit. As the dust clears, Tsukuyomi is seen standing, laughing at Sasuke.*
Tsukuyomi: You were smart to bring me one of us here. You just picked the wrong person. This is my dimension, my domain. You can’t harm me here.
*Tsukuyomi holds his hand forth towards Sasuke. The Amerterasu flames that encircled him are now getting closer and closer to him. The flames make contact with his Susanoo. Suddenly, his Susanoo is engulfed in the flames. Sasuke is seen sweating. The next panel shows Sasuke staring at the flames.*
Tsukuyomi: Like I said boy, this is my domain. These flames no longer belong to you, they’re mine. You can’t cancel them.
*Sasuke falls to his knees, grimacing. All of sudden the genjutsu is cancelled. Sasuke is seen standing before Tsukuyomi.*
Tsukuyomi: Well done boy. But you are back in your previous predicament.
*Amerterasu walks up beside Tsukuyomi. Tsukuyomi looks at her and smiles.*
Amerterasu: Why are you smiling brother?
*Tsukuyomi kisses Amerterasu, and then looks into her eyes. A maniacal grin appears on her face.*
Amerterasu: The fool.
*Amerterasu turns to Sasuke.*
Amerterasu: Both you and your wife will die here today.
*Scene switches to Izanagi, Susanoo, and Hachimon. Susanoo and Hachimon are seen standing on opposite sides of Izanagi, circling around him, looking for an open. Izanagi is standing there, calmly, with his left hand in a fist behind his back, and his right hand, palm opened pointing straight forward.*
Izanagi: I thought the two of you were to be the strongest amongst you. Yet you do not attack?
Susanoo: Who said we were going to attack you?
*Izanami is seen walking towards Izanagi.*
Izanami: Izanagi, you bastard!
*Izanagi turns to Izanami.*
Izanagi: So, have you come to take your revenge?
Izanami: Absolutely.
*Izanami leaps at Izanagi, swinging with an open fist strike. She claws at the side of Izanagi’s face. Izanagi kicks Izanami in her rib section, sending her towards Susanoo. Hachimon sees the opening and goes to attack. As Hachimon is swing his spear downward, Izanagi flips to the side, performing a spinning side kick, sending him away. Susanoo is in midair, swinging an axe downwards. Izanagi parries the attack at the last moment, pushing Susanoo back.*
Izanagi: It’s going to take more than that to stop me.
*Izanagi feels something flying towards him, and catches Sasuke’s body. Izanagi looks at that direction, and sees Tsukuyomi and Amerterasu approaching the battle as well.*
Amerterasu: Ah, father… it’s been so long…
*Amerterasu points at Izanagi. Izanagi flashes out just before flames burst in the area where he was located.*
Izanagi in thought: This is not good. If those two have their powers… We need you now, Fujin.
*Scene switches to Port City. Gaara is seen walking with Shikamaru and Temari. They walk towards a boat. The panel zooms out to show Darui on the boat.*
Shikamaru: Darui… what are you doing here? Where’s the Raikage?
Darui: He said he would be here, he just had to wrap something up back in Kumo.
*Ei flickers in next to Darui.*
Gaara: Raikage-sama, it’s good to see you again.
Ei: I wish it was on better terms.
*Everyone nods in agreement.*
Gaara: Where is Bee-sama?
Ei: He’s been training the new host of the Niibi.
Shikamaru: The new… jinchuuriki?!
Ei: Yeah. It appears that cat has found a new playmate.
Gaara: Who is it?
Ei: A kunoichi named Lin Mei. She just graduated from our academy.
Shikamaru: So she’s, what, 11 or 12 years old?
Ei: No, she’s 16.
Shikamaru sarcastically: Guess she’s a late bloomer then?
Ei: No, she’s one of our most promising medical shinobi. She graduated from our medical academy first, and then went through the ninja academy. Don’t be surprised when you see her at the next chuunin exams.
Temari: Wow. Sakura must have really helped you guys out a lot in that area.
Ei: Aye. Where is Lady Tsunade?
Gaara: I doubt she will be coming.
Ei: Why do you say that?
Gaara: She tried to prevent me from coming.
*Shikamaru and Temari glance at each other then down at the ground.*
Ei: You four go on ahead without me. I’ll stay behind, and go get her myself if I have to.
Gaara: Ok.
*The four set sail towards the Whirlpool country as Ei watches from the dock. Ei flashes out. Scene focuses on Temari.*
Temari: How long is it going to take us to get there?
Shikamaru: About 6 hours, and that’s with a decent wind, too.
*The panel zooms out, and poof, a puff of smoke appears, and once it fades, Kitsuchi is seen with Fujin stading at the bow of the ship.*
Gaara: Kitsuchi-sama, tis good to see you.
Kitsuchi: Aye, tis good to see you as well Kazekage-sama.
*Fujin blows into the masts, and disappears.*
Temari: Why did he leave?
Kitsuchi: He’s probably gone ahead with Naruto.
Shikamaru: Ah shit… Naruto’s going to be there?
Gaara: Would that not be a good thing.
Kitsuchi: You know, don’t you?
*Shikamaru and Temari nod their heads.*
Gaara: Know what?
Kitsuchi: The foe that we face, he makes Madara seem like a cockroach.
Gaara: A cockroach?
*The rest nod their heads. Scene switches to Ei standing on a tree branch. He catches Tsunade as she tries to evade him and almost falls to the ground.*
Ei: Princess Tsunade…
Tsunade: Ei… what are you doing here?
Ei: Coming after you.
*Ei puts Tsunade down on the branch. The two embrace.*
Tsunade: Why were you coming after me? Why didn’t you just go on to the Whirlpool country?
Ei: Tsunade, you are one hell of a woman. From now on, when I stand, I want to be by you. After this trip, I’m stepping down as Raikage.
*Tsunade who has been looking up at Ei, now looks to the ground.*
Ei: What is it?
Tsunade: This is not right?
Ei: What is not right?
Tsunade in tears: All of this. We… We’re all going to die.
Ei: Why do you say that?
*Ei leans down and kisses Tsunade. Tsunade returns the kiss.*
Ei: Who’s going to die?
Tsunade: Naruto, Sasuke, You, Me…
*The panel zooms in on Tsunade’s face as it has a terrified look. Blood begins to flow from her mouth.*
Ei: For now, you are the only one to die.
*Panel zooms out to show Ei’s finger poking through Tsunade’s body.*
Ei: Straight through your heart. Now you can’t use your Byakugou.
*The next panel shows Tsunade’s lifeless body falling to the ground. The scene changes to Hinata in a room reading a scroll.*
Hinata in thought: So we will have a chance. Thank you Lord Izanagi.
*She rolls up the scroll and flashes out. The scene switches to the battlefield, showing carnage all over the island. Izanagi and Sasuke are beaten up and panting. Raijin and Suijin are shown standing infront of them, fighting the gods. The next panel shows two set of feet standing back to back on the battlefield. The next few panels show everyone looking at the two. Scene zooms out to show Naruto, in his Kurama Sage mode, looking right at Kabuto. Fujin is staring at his son, Hachimon. Both do a straight palm thrust, sending Kabuto and Hachimon flying off the island country. Scene switches back to Ei standing over Tsunade’s body. A body approaches Ei.
Body: Well done, Raikage-sama.
Ei: What is your will now, Lord Orochimaru?
*The panel zooms out, showing Orochimaru in a body that resembles Rikudo Sennin.*
Orochimaru: Did you lower the defenses like I asked?
Ei: Aye, milord.
Orochimaru: Good. Go to Suna, and destroy that village. We’re going to save Konoha for last.
*The next panel shows Orochimaru with the rinnegan, laughing maniacally. The scene switches back to Naruto who is now wide-eyed.*
Naruto: It can’t be… I thought he was dead.
*Scene switches to Kabuto walking up on a beach towards Naruto.*
Kabuto smirking, in thought: So he’s sensed him finally… Excellent.

To be continued.

Last edited by jekyl_hyde; 06-19-2012 at 01:37 PM.
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Old 06-19-2012, 02:01 PM   #854
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Great job Jekyl! I like the direction that you are going with the Raikage. I never expected a Rinnegan Orochimaru though.
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Old 06-19-2012, 03:49 PM   #855
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Scene continues from page 57....


Quote:
Naruto Fan Fic Chronicles: The Lesson

Scene starts where we left off, Onoki is on his knees on the table bowing in front of Naruto …

Onoki- Naruto I’m Sorry for the loss of your clan but I’m more sorry I can’t tell you what happened to them

Onoki moves his hands to his face and shakes his head

Onoki- and the troubling thing is I should know what happened to them, I had many friends that were Uzumaki’s

Onoki removes his hands from his face and looks at Naruto
Onoki’s eyes are red but no tears are present…


Onoki- How do you all think I came of this information, Interrogation… NO! I went to them to learn about our history, they were my teachers they were my friends they were my comrades that I had complete respect for the Uzumaki’s. Yet Naruto I cannot tell you how they met their demise…

Onoki bows again

Onoki- I’m sorr…..

Naruto- Stop!… Please know more bowing, I know your being sincere…{sighs} and I am not mad at you.

Onoki lifts up his head to see Naruto smiling

Naruto- Gramps please come sit here…

Naruto motions his hands to invite Onoki to come sit in his seat… Onoki nods stands up and floats over and sits in Naruto’s seat. Naruto pats him on his shoulder and moves to the opposite side of the table.

Naruto- Let us please forget about the past for right now and focus on the present. I did not just request this summit just to tell you about the sage, I requested it, because I need your help and your guidance.

Mei- Guidance?

Naruto nods his head… and stares at the Raikage..

Naruto- Raikage you once told me, “ Ninja Respect actions and strength!{…} The Weak Will Be Crushed! That Is The Inescapable Truth Of The Ninja World!” This is true but I learned one of my greatest lessons from….

Naruto looks up into the Balcony and looks at Sasuke

Naruto- The Great Itachi Uchiha, “ If Now that you are more powerful you start to forget about others, to be arrogant and to be attached to your Ego……. One Day you will become like Madara. No matter how powerful you become never try to shoulder everything alone. Otherwise you will undoubtedly fail.”

Naruto looks back at the Kages

Naruto- I do not want to fail anymore… I failed you all once and I don’t want to fail you again…

Kakashi- You failed us? No Naruto…

Naruto- Kakashi you must understand that I know my limits and I am weak…

Raikage-{Hmm}- Weak, you got to be joking…

Naruto- I am a fighter but I am considerably weak mentally. I know this now, but that is why I need your strength, your wisdom and your guidance to overcome my limitations.

Gaara- what do you need from us Naruto.

Kakashi- We will do whatever we can to help you.

Raikage, Mei, Akatsuchi and Onoki nods in agreement….Naruto smiles

Naruto- what I need from all of you is to teach me…

Akatsuchi- Teach you what exactly?

Naruto looks at Raikage

Naruto- Lighting Affinity

Naruto looks at Sasuke up in the Balcony

Naruto- Fire Affinity

Naruto looks down at Onoki

Naruto- Earth Affinity…I know this is a lot to ask and on such a short time table but I can’t do this on my own anymore.

Mei- wait…

Naruto looks over at Mei

Mei- what about Water Affinity

Naruto- Oh!... Hehe, yeah I mastered that one.

Kakashi- Really?!

Naruto scratches his head and smiles

Naruto- So… shall we get into the details of our war plan?

Naruto looks up into the Balcony

Naruto- Shikamaru… Get down here and tell us the plan already…

Naruto waves Shikamaru down, but Shikamaru hesitate and looks at Kakashi…Kakashi nods and with that Shikamaru jumps down and stands next to Naruto. Shikamaru pulls out a scroll from his Vest pocket, unravels the scroll and {POOF} a map of the battle field appears……..


Scene Fades out from the Kages Conversation and focuses on the Balcony.
Scene zooms on Hinata who can’t keep her eyes of Naruto.


Hinata- Naruto is SO Incredible!

Sakura- I guess, but he is still no Sasuke

Sakura looks at Sasuke and Sasuke looks back at her and gives her a smirk, but quickly returns his focus to Naruto with a serious look upon his face.

Sasuke-{thinking}- Though I myself have grown these 5 years Sakura, I’m surprised you still can’t sense this is a completely different Naruto…. Weak my ass Naruto, you were impressive when you left , so I’m excited but a little bit terrified at what you can do now.

Kankuro- So how does it feel that Konoha will have Naruto for another Century or so? Hehe…

Sasuke-{smirks}- Tiring…

Hinata- Happy …. but also Sad.

Temari-…?

Sakura- Sad…Why sad Hinata?

Hinata- Though I am so happy I will get to spend my whole life with him…

Hinata who is still looking at Naruto, her eyes begin to water

Hinata- When I’m gone or Sakura, Sasuke, Kakashi, Bee, or Even our entire Generation is gone…. Naruto will be all alone and that is too painful to think about.

Sakura is now looking at Naruto with a tear running down her cheek, we see the tear falling towards the ground and when it hits the scene cuts back to The Kages Conversation.

Naruto- So that settles it.

Naruto Pats Shikamaru on the Back

Naruto- I will send either Makura or Koudo to you when I am ready to train…So shall we officially make this meeting adjourned?

Kakashi- Does anyone have any questions?

The Kages are Silent

Kakashi- Good, Because we have a lot of work to do.

Kakashi stands Nods to the other Kages and looks at Naruto

Kakashi- Shall we get going to Konoha Naruto?

Naruto-{sighs}….No.

Everyone is Shocked and speechless

Kakashi- …and Why Not?!

Naruto- I’m Sorry..

Hinata- DON”T BE SORRY!! JUST COME HOME!!!

Naruto Looks up towards the Balcony at a crying Hinata

Hinata- We have been waiting for you {Sniff..Sniff} We’ve been waiting for 5 years for your return…

Scene zooms in on Hinata’s face which was crying but now has a shocked expression on her face. Scene pans out to see Naruto is standing on the Balcony Railing, Naruto kneels down face to face with Hinata…

Naruto- Hinata…

Naruto brushes her hair over her ear and kisses her on the forehead

Naruto- It is not my time to return to Konoha, Not yet anyways, but very soon.

Naruto flashes to the doorway where he first entered the summit…Stops and turns to everyone

Naruto- Makura, Koudo Lets Go!

Makura and Koudo come from under the Table and in a Black and White Flash land on Naruto’s Scroll. Naruto turns and starts to walk out the door buts sticks his hand in the air and says

Naruto- See ya later everyone…

Naruto leaves

Scene cuts back to the Kage Table where everyone is still in shock


Raikage- wha..wha….WHAT is the meaning of this Kakashi ?!!!

Kakashi shrugs his shoulders

Kakashi- I…I ….I have No Clue, but I will find out.

Kakashi snaps his Fingers

Kakashi- Sasuke, Hinata!

Sasuke and Hinata jump from the balcony and land in on the table in kneeling in front of Kakashi…

Kakashi- Follow Naruto and though it will be difficult try not to be detected.

Sasuke and Hinata Nod

Kakashi- GO NOW!

With That Sasuke and Hinata Dash out the door after Naruto

Raikage- Do you want Killer Bee to go with them?

Kakashi looks up in the balcony and see’s Bee dancing and throwing Gangs signs..

Kakashi- Bee doesn’t look like he can do under the radar, but thanks anyways.

Raikage looks up at Bee and starts shaking his head

Raikage- Good choice Kakashi, because you’re absolutely right.

Killer Bee- Bro don’t be so cruel, I can dance and throw any beat, without any MoFo Havin the Slightest clue you dig!

Onoki-{whispers}- Because people ignore you just so they won’t go blind and deaf from watching you dance and hearing you sing… Hehe

All the Kages hear this and laugh to themselves


Scene cuts to Naruto walking on a snowy mountain trail
The scene cuts to Naruto Mind where we see him sitting with Kurama


Naruto- Kurama, Were they all telling the truth?

Kurama- there was no disturbance in their chakra network so it seems they were telling the truth.

Naruto- Hmm….

Kurama- I know what you mean, with all are research one of the Kages should have known something….

Naruto- I Know… That’s why it makes it more puzzling.

Kurama- Naruto, Koudo and Makura are…

Naruto- yeah I sense it too…. Kurama can you go over and see if I missed anything, because this summit made me have more questions that I will have to go ask…{sighs} that Geezer.

Kurama- Grrr… It’s a pain but I will do it.

Naruto- Thanks

Scene cuts back to Naruto walking

Makura- Boss!

Koudo- We are being followed..

Naruto- I know… Let’s put on a show for my two friends…

Koudo- Right.

Makura- You got it, what do you have in mind Boss?

Naruto-Hmm…….

End
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