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Old 07-14-2012, 05:09 PM   #916
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Actually i am on that diet

Give me something guys on the sneak peak!
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Old 07-14-2012, 05:19 PM   #917
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Cool Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vishnu View Post
A sneak peak from the most epic chapter that is about to come.

Sasuke instantly turns around and catches Yama dagger with his right hand. Yama uses the momentum to spin, places his left finger right in front of Sasuke and fires a powerful red beam. Sasuke, by using the Sharingan barely dodges the attack, by jumping above it. He lands in his left hand, draws his sword with his right and throws it at Yama. The sword it's covered in electrical surges. And it's too fast for the God of Death to dodge it. The sword impales Yama in the shoulder. Sasuke uses the opening to launch himself towards the God, wielding a Dimensional Shattering Lightining Blade. The young Uchiha jumps right in front of Yama, being ready to slash with the jutsu. The scene shows only Yama's determined eyes, and his voice is heard.
Yama: You left an opening...Sasuke...
The panel shows Sasuke's face as it changes from determination to despair. Then, the panel it's slowly zoomed out, presenting his body. Yama dragged the sword out of his shoulder and impaled Sasuke right in the heart with it. The Uchiha falls on the ground, on his knees. His clothes are destroyed. He is injured just like Yama. But the blade piercing his chest finally got him. He looks at Yama with confused eyes. His Spiralling Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan slowly vanishes. Yama stares exactly into Sasuke's eyes, as the light inside them fades away. The God Slayer throws his last breathe. The whole battlefield is silent, witnessing the death of their Commander. They are all shocked and don't belive their eyes. Yama pulls out the sword out of Sasuke's heart and turns with his back at the Uchiha. Yama's voice is the only thing heard on the silent battlefield.
Yama: Farewell...Uchiha Sasuke...
Vishnu, it's both epic and wrong that you've decided to pull one of these out of the vault. We gotta know when this epic sh*t is coming.

J_H, you have a drop date in mind?
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Old 07-14-2012, 05:24 PM   #918
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
Vishnu, it's both epic and wrong that you've decided to pull one of these out of the vault. We gotta know when this epic sh*t is coming.

J_H, you have a drop date in mind?
On 25 night or surely on 26 morning.
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Old 07-14-2012, 05:46 PM   #919
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vishnu View Post
On 25 night or surely on 26 morning.
I read that only an earlier post today but needed confirmation.
So clue me in on what happens with the training Naruto is undertaking?
How do you describe/classify his abilities?
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:18 PM   #920
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

@vishnu
Honestly, that little excerpt is as suspenseful as anything you've written thus far. Looking forward to reading more.

@kiddjutsu
I can't say. Maybe tomorrow, maybe some time later this week. In a couple of weeks, we've got a big move coming up. We'll be moving from Alabama to Baltimore, MD. And the wife is preggers again, so I'm going to have to do the vast majority of the move myself.
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:24 PM   #921
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jekyl_hyde View Post
@vishnu
Honestly, that little excerpt is as suspenseful as anything you've written thus far. Looking forward to reading more.

@kiddjutsu
I can't say. Maybe tomorrow, maybe some time later this week. In a couple of weeks, we've got a big move coming up. We'll be moving from Alabama to Baltimore, MD. And the wife is preggers again, so I'm going to have to do the vast majority of the move myself.
Just finished my move to Texas. Shit was mostly a pain. And prego too, congrats and good luck with that additional addition bro. Looking fwd to whenever you can drop another edition.
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:42 PM   #922
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
I read that only an earlier post today but needed confirmation.
So clue me in on what happens with the training Naruto is undertaking?
How do you describe/classify his abilities?
I skipped writing about the training part. It will be shown in flashbacks during Naruto's fight with Raiden. His abilities...well...by having the Rinnegan he was already at the peak of a human being level of power. But now, since he learned how to harness Vishnu's powers, the nature itself more exactly...well, i gave a sneak peak but i won't spoil something so major. You will just have to wait until 25 and you will read the best description of his abilities.
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Old 07-14-2012, 06:56 PM   #923
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Continuation from page 61…

I have to rewrite the next chapter so this might be it for a while.
hope you enjoy. and please tell me what you all think its much appreciated.

Quote:
Naruto Fan Fic Chronicles: The Family Tree

Scene continues with Naruto pushing the gate open

Naruto- Welcome…..

Hinata and Sasuke walk through the gate, and onto a bridge and looks around to see that they are completely surrounded by water with hundreds upon hundreds of whirlpools and trees that are twenty to forty times the size of Redwood trees.

Hinata- this is amazing, Naruto!

Naruto looks around and smiles

Naruto- I know…

Sasuke- yeah its unbelievable…. HOLD IT!.. Did I hear you correctly? Did you say your clan?

Naruto smiles and Nods

Naruto- Yep, Hehe

Sasuke- then that would be truly amazing, but then where is everyone?

Naruto Smiles at Sasuke and Hinata and looks up. Sasuke and Hinata follow suit and looks up into the trees. To see that hundreds upon thousands of tree houses and bridges {think Ewoks on a much grander scale}

Naruto- we are the village hidden in the trees and protected by the whirlpools…

Hinata- Wow! Incredible!!!....

Sasuke- What else are you hiding from us Naruto…. Do you really even need my training?

Sasuke in thought- your making me want to spar with you so bad….

Naruto laughs and looks at Sasuke and pats him on his back

Naruto- Of course I need your training… and we will…

Sasuke- will what??

Naruto- Spar of course…

Sasuke-?!!

Naruto- just as soon as I speak to this old Geezer… Koudo go tell him I will need a word with him…

???- NO NEED!!

Naruto looks up and smiles, though he cannot see anything since the sun is blinding his vision… Naruto Yells towards the voice…

Naruto- Yo! Grandpa Yoko… Can you give us a lift up?!

Scene cuts to the back of Yoko who is at the top of a tree bridge and is surrounded by many people. Yoko is a tall and slender man with red hair and small streaks of white. He is dressed in a long white robe with green, blue and a little brown detailing and the prominent Uzumaki Crest.

Yoko yells down to Naruto

Yoko- Your telling me the Great Naruto Uzumaki can’t climb a tree to get himself up here

Naruto yells

Naruto- HA HA HA.. Very funny Gamps! But as you can see I’m not alone.

Yoko yells

Yoko- True, you have brought us some visitors, Can they be trusted!?

Scene cuts back to Naruto on the ground

Naruto looks at Sasuke then Hinata smiles then looks upward towards yoko’s voice

Naruto- I trust these two with my life since they have saved it time and time again…

A hand is placed on Naruto’s shoulder, Naruto Smiles…

Yoko- Then they too will then be welcomed here, Naruto….

Sasuke and Hinata are stunned to see Yoko standing behind Naruto and even more stunned that they did not notice his presence until he spoke…. Naruto turns and faces Yoko. When you finally see Yoko’s Face, it does not look old but certainly not young either. Yoko has a long white Fu Manchu beard/mustache
and the biggest smile looking down at Naruto, who he Towers over.


Naruto- it’s good to be back Grandpa Yoko.. I have many things I need to talk to you about.

Yoko- Of course, but come relax… Then we can talk all you want.

Naruto- I’m Sorry, but this cannot wait…

Yoko’s Smile goes away and he nods

Yoko- of course…

Naruto turns to Sasuke and Hinata

Naruto- I will be back as soon as I can, but I must go speak with gramps here in private.

Sasuke- what are we suppose to do until you get back?!

Hinata- is it even safe for strangers like us to wonder about the village?

Yoko smiles and nods and Naruto turns to Makura and Koudo, Naruto bends down and whispers something to Makura… with that Makura vanishes with a black flash…

Hinata- Now Where is he going?

Naruto- You were wondering if it would be safe?... Yes, you will be perfectly safe I am lending Koudo and Makura to you, when people see the two of them, they will know you are with me.

Hinata- Oh.

Sasuke- That still does not answer, where Makura is going?...

In that moment a black flash reappears on Naruto’s scroll.

Makura- back Boss, and Mission complete

Naruto- Good… Sasuke, Makura was going and got you a guide for the village.

Sasuke- where is this guide of ours then?!

Makura- just where the boss instructed it to be.

Naruto- The guide will be up there to welcome you… Koudo, Makura

Koudo and Makura- Yes, Boss!

Naruto- Make sure nothing happens to them… You Got ME!!!?

Koudo and Makura- We got it, Boss!

Makura and koudo jump down from Naruto’s scroll and land in front of
Sasuke and Hinata. Naruto Looks at Yoko


Naruto- Shall we get going Grandpa Yoko

Yoko nods looks up and yells

Yoko- Riku, Daichi !!!!

Riku and Daichi fall from the tree tops they are wearing a very similar long robe that Yoko wears except their sleeves are cut off, they also have a Kakashi navy blue mask with brown trimming. They land Gently in front of Yoko and Naruto kneeling in front of them.

Riku- Yes…

Daichi- Yoko–Sensei

Yoko- Help my Grandson’s friends get to the top safely and to their guide.

Daichi- Yes..

Riku- Of course, Yoko-sensei

Sasuke and Hinata- Grandson?!!

Naruto Looks at Hinata

Naruto- Hinata I will be back as soon as possible

Hinata- Ok, But….

Naruto looks at Sasuke

Naruto- Sasuke….

Sasuke- What?

Naruto- Rest up because when I return we spar you will lose, then we Train Hehe….

Sasuke- hmm- as always so full of yourself.. your such a loser.

Naruto- hehe if you say so… See ya later.

And with that he was gone in a flash.

Hinata- Man Naruto is so fast, I did not even have time to say good bye to him…

Yoko- I’m sorry for my grandson’s rudeness, he has a lot to learn.

Sasuke- So are you really Naruto’s Grandfa…..

Yoko Interrupts him

Yoko- I really must be going, it was truly nice meeting you both

Yoko does a blur of hand signs

Hinata- it was nice to mee….

But before Hinata could finish he fly’s up into the sky in a white red blur.

Sasuke- they sure act as if they are related.

Sasuke looks at Daichi and Riku

Sasuke- Daichi and Riku, was it?

Daichi and Riku- Yes!

Sasuke- ok then, so how are we going to get from here….

Sasuke points to the ground

Sasuke – to all the way up there?

Sasuke points skyward

Riku- if you two were an Uzumaki…

Daichi- it could be done very easily…

Riku- but since you’re not…

Daichi- it must be done the

Riku and Daichi- The Hard Way!

Hinata- Gulp – what way is that?

Riku and Daichi Sighs

Riku and Daichi backflips off the bridge and lands in between the many whirlpools that are surrounding them. Riku and Daichi Simultaneously do multiple hand signs with one hand all while holding each other’s hand… Out of Nowhere a tree sprouts up violently out of one of the many whirlpools…. Riku and Daichi both yell to Sasuke and Hinata

Riku- GET…

Daichi- ON!!!!


END

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Old 07-14-2012, 10:12 PM   #924
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Like what u did there with riku and diachi and with naruto and his grandad
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Old 07-15-2012, 01:33 PM   #925
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

N-360, I love what you did there. I guess I'd ask for starters is where the hell have these trees been? If it's in original Land of Whirlpools why is a contract required to arrive there? And is Yoko Kushina's father to be a legit gramps for Naruto then having the matching red hair? Just a few off the top of my head but damn man it's getting really good. I mean you haven't even previewed any possible new abilities for Naruto and a Sasuke sparring match is ready to pop off. Good stuff bro....
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Old 07-15-2012, 04:50 PM   #926
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The second sneak peek of the major upcoming chapter.

The panel present a bloody Vishnu. He has injuries all over his body. In front of him is the Archangel Michael.

Vishnu: So...Michael...this is the last one...
Michael: Indeed...Vishnu...but..can i ask you something before we do this?
Vishnu: I'm listening.
Michael: Why did you betrayed the Heavens? Why did you abandoned your brothers, us, the Archangels? Why did you abandoned our Father?
Vishnu smiles with sadness in his eyes.
Vishnu: You never understood, Michael. I never abandoned anyone. The Heaven lost it's ability to see the truth. I was closer to human beings than you ever were...and i can tell you...that rather than fighting alongside you...i would hapily die as their comrade! They represent our Father's masterpiece. Self preservating beings, able to surpass us, the angels. Able to exist with their dual personality. Able to prove us that we are not that superior.
Michael: You are speaking non sense. You betrayed Father's plan!
Vishnu laugh: I am actually protecting Father's plan!
Michael: Then..i must end this. I cannot allow you to live anymore.
Vishnu with a serious look on his face: Same here.
The last panel shows both of them, dashing towards one another, with their swords in their hands, ready to impale eachother. The final scene shows them right in front of one another. Vishnu's head is above Michael's shoulder and Michael's head is above Vishnu's shoulder. They already attacked. The panel shows Vishnu that coughs a little blood. And Michael that coughs almost the same amount of blood. In Michael's eyes is seen the anger. In Vishnu's eyes is seen only the sadness.
Vishnu with a very sad voice: I'm sorry...Father...


Guys, don't miss the epic chapter coming up on 25! And give me your thoughts on the second sneak-peak!
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Old 07-15-2012, 04:53 PM   #927
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Dammit Vishnu, the 25th is tomorrow if I'm not mistaken.
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Old 07-15-2012, 04:56 PM   #928
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Dammit Vishnu, the 25th is tomorrow if I'm not mistaken.
No it's not. Tomorrow it's 16. Next Wednesday it's 25. Anyway...opinions?
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Old 07-15-2012, 05:36 PM   #929
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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No it's not. Tomorrow it's 16. Next Wednesday it's 25. Anyway...opinions?
Well opinion wise it's very suspenseful but only lends to a major brawl taking place, which you write the best in my opinion. So it should be a Gohan/Cell type of finish. Looking fwd to it.
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Old 07-15-2012, 06:49 PM   #930
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Well opinion wise it's very suspenseful but only lends to a major brawl taking place, which you write the best in my opinion. So it should be a Gohan/Cell type of finish. Looking fwd to it.
The war will have a simmilar finish. But not the final chapter. I have prepared one last twist. Something that nobody ever anticipated.
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