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Old 09-03-2012, 12:00 PM   #1156
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vishnu View Post
My god Kiddjutsu, you already know my plot's machinations. You deduced corect about the training, though i'm still oscilating a bit between presenting it in flashbacks or dedicate a chapter to it. Also, if Kazer is Sasuke, i would admit it. But i won't admit anything just yet.
Well I picked up on that because I know a bit about your train of thought when it involves fighting and what not. That still don't mean I wanna read that sh*t ASAP sir. And I'm as close to positive in Kazer being the Death God Uchiha btw lol.
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Old 09-03-2012, 01:14 PM   #1157
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

I'm hoping to have the next chapter of my fanfic up by wed. night. I've decided to shorten it up, since it seems like Kishi might be wrapping up Naruto sooner than expected. I want to finish my fanfic before Naruto is wrapped up. I've also been putting more thought into my original story. But as promised, I will finish this one up before I really start on the new one.

@vishnu
Well done as always.
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Old 09-03-2012, 03:41 PM   #1158
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jekyl_hyde View Post
I'm hoping to have the next chapter of my fanfic up by wed. night. I've decided to shorten it up, since it seems like Kishi might be wrapping up Naruto sooner than expected. I want to finish my fanfic before Naruto is wrapped up. I've also been putting more thought into my original story. But as promised, I will finish this one up before I really start on the new one.

@vishnu
Well done as always.
And we're looking forward to it too sir. Been a long enough hiatus I'd say.
Hope that at home dad adjustment hasn't been too rough.
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Old 09-03-2012, 04:43 PM   #1159
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

This should hold for a while.....


*Jericho Productions

"Final Exam"

We see three swords clash against one. *It is Sasuke versus 3 Lt. , with 7 others surrounding him ready for an opportunity to strike.*

Sasuke, { good call on the elemental jutsu, these swords absorb any nature based attack. They use them as offensive and defense weapons.}*

He flips over them and slices them in their backs, blocks a sword coming from one of the others and kicks another would be attacker.*

With his SG active he is handling himself well.

We see Hinata *in gentle fist stance, a she fend off attackers she notices something.

Hinata, {seems somehow there armor is shielding them from the effects of my technique. Good thing I learned another one.}

She uses shadow clone to make 9 of her. They all pull out bladed boomerang that has handle with a seal on the curve part.

Along with shuriken all the Hinata *throw the boomerangs at an Lt.

All the shuriken were stopped but the boomerang were evaded.

Just as this happens Hinata(s) appear right behind them,
*" Rasengan!"

Crashing into each one of there backs. As the boomerang is still in motion they vanish and appear several feet away.

Hinata, " still standing?" {good} the boomerang is headed back to the enemy.

The Hinata vanish and reappear *ramming a lion head encased rasengan into the enemies chest as ass the troop are sent crashing back defeated the clones disperse and a Hinata jumps back catching the original boomerang.*

We see the Twins and Leo surround by 30 Lt.

Leo darts to the left with 10 in pursuit. The twins look at each other and both dart off in separate directions.

Leo is surrounded, " i bet you think we have some elaborate plain to separate you guys and trap u in some *way. Maybe have our Hokage save us by surprising you or one o our sensei. "

All the Lt. just look ready for an attack to counter or an opportunity to attack him.

Leo, "let me give u a bit if intel on this team, its the first of it's kind for three reasons. One, we are a Doujutsu team, ( he raises his shade showing his BG/SG)."

*Scene cuts to the Twins, separately showing their eyes as well.

"Two, we are all to the *Uzumaki clan. Three, well thats the most interesting see. All of us were adopted by separate clans. Which means, on top of our Uzumaki techs and traits we have he skills of our adopted clans as well."

Shows the twins taking familiar stances. *One in the man beast stance the other is using Shikamaru's trademark hand sign for concentration.

Leo puts his hand together with the pointer fingers strait up, "release."

Suddenly we see that his appearance was just a transformation technique. He has bandages wrapped around his hands up *his *forearms and on his legs(much like Lee), a cloak that is blowing in the wind, which is revealing *an odd shaped back pack, he has seals on his fingertips an a scroll under and above the back pack.

Leo throws the cape away, " my team and another team are considered the top of Konoha city, but me and one other *Chuunin are considered the most gifted. Me well i was raised by the Sarutobi clan, that being said I followed in the footsteps of the 3rd Hokage."

He tears pulls off weights that were on his legs and drops them. "third gate, release."
While they are falling he collides with 4 troops breaks their blades pounds two *into the ground one punch each and kicks the other two yards away, the land near Sasuke that looks up and smiles.
* *
He them appears where he started and catches the weights before they impact and gently places them down.

His fingertips begin to light up, as this happens he begins to draw in the air soave all around him.

When he is done we see drawn versions of Gai, Kankaru and Killer Bee.*

The drawings begin fighting the troops as Leo jumps up and pulls out a scroll and summons seven swords, two pair of numchuku and a puppet.

As he comes to the ground he unzips his back pack releasing a swarm of insects.

Leo who is holding a short blade is watching all the troops as they are being defeated by the drawing clones an swarm of insects, " I was taught as a genin by more than one clan, after Uncle Naruto taught ne shadow clone technique it became ultra easy to have a bunch of teachers. Learning their jutsu.*Being Uzumaki gives me the chakra to use em."

Scene change.*

We see that all the Lt. have been caught in shadow possession, by Quantez.*

Quantez, " don't ever under estimate the ninja of lead City again. Be it as allies or enemies."*

She motions for them to pull there swords and then turned to the side. Everyone is either facing someone or *at their backs.*

She swings her motioned sword right at the last second see switches to their hilt and each one is knocked out.

We see Quantoz standing with both pups on top if a few Lts. *The rest are defeated and scattered.*

Suddenly a huge force shakes the ground and *moves through air.

We see Kakashi come from the ground. Also Sasuke is standing in front of defeated legion.

Hinata face is shown, " The air is filled with chakra, its almost moving me."

We see steps coming to the arena, it is three people dressed similar to the Shinigami form bleach.*

Leo and the other Chuunin, "just 3 people?"

Kakashi, "...."{captains}

suddenly a huge beam of light comes down inches from Kakashi.

In the light a tall muscular man walks out has the build of Raikage, " I am Major Lennox field officer of the Magi devision, you will not finish this, *Ninja .

Scene change.

We see Naruto and the others, they are entering a huge city via Uzu tunnel.

Sasha, "this is the wrong place."

Naruto, " well I'm just getting used to the tunnel technique, sorry."

Sasha, " not your fault, *we are in the Land of light, just *not the right city."

Hiroshi, " yeah wrong city."

Rakia, " how do you know that?"

Hiroshi points.*

We see an army of troops similar to the legion but they are in different shades of green.*

A door of light opens, a man in a black an white suit comes through.*

Man, " I am Ambassador, you are trespassing. There is no toleration for Samurai presence *here."

Naruto, " Ambassador, i am sorry to trespass it was an accident and i am responsible for it."

He walks up to him and kneels, " if you must punish someone, them let it be me."

Ambassador, " so be it, you are responsible. So you will watch your friends die and be the last to go."

Suddenly doors open and other men appear and grab the others. They are holding small instruments to their heads ( like a Sonic Screwdriver).*

Suddenly the Ambassador waves one as well and shackles of light appear around Naruto.*

Ambassador, "this tool is a chakra lance, wonderful thing. It's only limitation is the users chakra and imagination."

Suddenly a huge explosion occurs behind him, the army is defeated and there is a huge hole.*

There is amoke and a man in a blue suit and long cape emerges. He is tall with a beard and glasses.*

Beside him is another man in a black and red suit, it is...

Naruto in shackles on his knees.*
" Madara!"

Ambassador, "what is this?!"

Man in blue suit, "i am the Conqueror and this is the beginning."

Ambassador, "beginning?"

Madara, "of War."

Naruto is in full armor Madara doesn't recognize him.

Naruto, whispering to Ambassador, "let me go, now."

Next: *first strike of War. *"Enemy of my Enemy"
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Old 09-03-2012, 05:04 PM   #1160
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Jericho - that's what the f*ck we like to see. You came back from strong today man. Now its at an epic spot with Madara back in dramatic fashion. Not to mention we see Naruto in a unfamiliar spot with an enemy who he'll have to rely on apparently. But the best part is the battle royale of team Hidden Leaf v. the Uzu Capts. I'm stoked completely to see what else you got up your sleeve. J_H, Vishnu, and you in this Fanfic forum have easily been the best reads for me and you definitely didn't disappoint. I gotta give you props because you are mad creative. The twins seem like they have ridiculous potential too. The only thing they are missing is chakra beasts to become jinks. Then they'd have no equals. Can't wait for the next drop.....
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Old 09-03-2012, 07:25 PM   #1161
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Ok, here is the new chapter. Hope you guys like it.

Prelude to Battle
*Scene opens with the sun rising over the ocean. Birds are seen flying in the distance from the viewpoint of a beach. Suddenly, a foot slams into the beach. The next panel zooms out to show Amatsu wielding the Amenonohoku, joined by Izanami.*
Amatsu: Do you smell that milady?
Izanami smiling: Aye, milord.
Amatsu grinning: Ah, it’s the smell of a god’s death.
*Suddenly Hachimon and Benten are standing next to Izanami.*
Hachimon: Question is, which one’s death do you smell?
Amatsu: Play your cards, right, and it will not be your’s.
Izanami: Play them wrong…
*Susanoo along with his brother and sister flash in.*
Susanoo: Let it be known, when he falls, it will be by my hand, no one else’s.
Amatsu: Is that so… nephew?
Izanagi: Amusing, coming from the god who has had his ass handed to him twice by the son of wind, and once by the son of thunder.
Susanoo: As I recall, everyone here except Amatsu had their asses handed to them on that day.
*Amatsu walks up to Susanoo.*
Amatsu: You would do well to not forget that… nephew.
*Scene switches to a dark cell. Kakashi and Gai are seen slumped over with their backs against the wall. Mungo is seen pacing in front of the duo. Bee is seen laying on the floor, looking up.*
Gai: So how long?
Kakashi: I’m almost done.
Mungo: And we’re all in agreement?
*Gai and Kakashi nod.*
Bee: I still don’t like it.
Kakashi: We know, that for some reason, they want the bijuu, we just don’t know why. It’s best for the two of you to return.
Gai: And if they don’t kill us, I will feel much better about our rescue knowing that all of you jinchuuriki are coming for the two of us.
*A door slams open, as all four men look towards the door. The next panel focuses on Kakashi, wide-eyed.*
Kakashi: You…..
*Scene switches to the land of whirlpools. The different panels show the couples all laying together, excluding Naruto and Hinata and Sakura and Sasuke. The next panel shows a small meeting of people. Shikaku, Inoichi, Naruto, and Sasuke are all seen.*
Naruto: So this is what we are facing then?
Inoichi: Aye. And this… Professor… He knew all of my jutsus, as well as your’s *looking at Shikaku*.
Shikaku: Things are looking direr.
Sasuke: I think it’s time, Naruto.
Naruto: Aye. Shikaku, Inoichi… I need the two of you to gather all of our warriors. Shikaku, you and Shikamaru need to come up with a strategy to face our opposition. And don’t include myself or Sasuke in your strategies.
Inoichi: Why not?
Shikaku: You know the rest of the jinchuuriki will want to follow you.
Naruto: Aye, but we have some unfinished business to attend to.
Shikaku: Let me guess… Suna.
*The next panel focuses on Sasuke’s eyes, which are now showing his EMS.*
Sasuke: Precisely!
Naruto: At high noon, summon Hinata, and send her to Fuujin, Raijin, and Suijin. Have her inform them of everything that we’ve discussed.
Inoichi: How come?
Sasuke: Because, besides me and Naruto, the only ones who can battle the gods are the jinchuuriki.
Shikaku: And because of the Ryun, now we’re going to need them battling for us… with us.
*Naruto looks down. Scene switches to the Main Gate at Kiri. Kabuto and Ryu are seen.*
Ryu: And I am to stay here?
Kabuto: Yes.
Ryu: And what of them? *nodding back to the barrier room*
Kabuto: Leave them be for now.
Ryu: And what of her?
Voice from behind Kabuto and Ryu: And what of me?
*Scene flashback to Kakashi, Gai, Bee, and Mungo in their cell. Kakashi and Gai are staring in shock at the woman before them. The next panel shows Benten standing at the door of the cell.*
Kakashi: But you… All this time?
Gai: To think, they came and went. It makes a lot of sense now, seeing how she was never seen since the barrier went up.
Benten: I see the two of you are no fools. Just tell me what I want to know, and you’ll have your chance at escaping.
*Mungo looks up at Benten at the mention of this.*
Mungo: What is it you want to know?
*Scene switches back to Kabuto, Ryu, and Benten.*
Ryu: So did they know?
Benten: Insolent fools!
Kabuto: Why are you so worried about it, milady?
Benten: There is over a millennia of planning in this. And things aren’t adding up. Come along now. We must head back to Iwa.
*Kabuto and Ryu look each other in the eye.*
Kabuto: My apologies milady, but I have a feeling that Naruto and Sasuke are heading towards Suna as we speak. *grins* Could you drop me off there… for time’s sake?
Benten grunting: Fine!
*Benten and Kabuto disappear in the blink of an eye. Ryu is seen smirking.*
Ryu in thought: The bitch has no clue. This is going to be fun.
*Ryu turns and walks back towards the barrier room. The next panel shows the four captives.*
Mungo in conversation with Bee through Isopu: It’s decided. Once we have a distraction, we’re making a break for it.
Bee through Gyuuki: Fo’ sho’. You got the point.
*Gai walks over to Bee.*
Gai: We’ve fought against each other, and side by side. Kakashi is my eternal rival and greatest friend. After today, I consider you as another.
*Bee looks up at Gai and puts his fist out. Gai and Bee bump fists.*
Gai: I know you want to stay behind and make sure we get out as well, but we, the shinobi alliance, needs the two of you more than Kakashi and I.
Kakashi: The two of you can at least fight a god. We cannot.
Bee: Fine den. Just make sure you make it back. A’ight?
Kakashi: We’ll do our best.
Gai: With the power of Youth.
*The door to the barrier room flies open, in walking Ryu.*
Ryu: Well, Well, Well! Let’s have some fun boys!
*Ryu does some handsigns, and then blows a giant fireball at the door, knocking the door off of its hinges. Everyone is shocked, and then realizes that Ryu has disappeared.*
Kakashi: Everyone knows what to do.
Gai, Bee, and Mungo in unison: Aye!
*All four men head out of the cell, with Kakashi and Gai taking the lead. Just as soon as they get outside, and the sun hits their faces, all of the men stops, shielding their eyes from the sunlight as their eyes adjust. Scene switches to the whirlpool country. The former kages are seen with Shikaku and Hinata.*
Shikaku: So that is what we are facing. Hinata-chan, Naruto requested that you go and speak with the elder gods.
*Hinata nods, then stands up and leaves the meeting. In an instant, she has vanished. Scene switches to the dimension with the gods. Fujin, Raijin, and Suijin are seen. Hinata approaches the gods. Suijin is the first to look at Hinata.*
Suijin smiling: Hinata, it’s been a long time now.
Hinata bowing: Suijin-sama, Fujin-sama, Raijin-sama…
Fujin: What brings you here child?
Hinata: I’ve come to tell you about what has happened since we last spoke.
Raijin: Aye, how have things been?
Hinata: The remaining forces of the shinobi alliance have relocated to the Whirlpool Country.
Fujin: So the Ryun were finally able to take Konoha?
Hinata: There is more. As you know, Lady Tsunade was murdered.
Suijin: Aye.
Hinata: Well, we learned that she was murdered by the Raikage.
Fujin: Hmmm…
Hinata: We also learned he was under another’s control.
*The three gods look at each other.*
Raijin: Do you think?
Fujin: It makes sense.
Hinata: What did I miss?
Fujin: Where is Naruto?
Hinata: I’m not entirely sure. But I was told that you would know where to find him. Is something wrong?
Suijin: We must get you out of here, at once. Return, NOW!!!!!!
Fujin: We three will go with you. Naruto and Sasuke are on their own, for the time being.
Voice from behind the group: Oh come now. Is my being here crashing your party?
*The next panel shows Orochimaru, in his new body, standing behind the group.*
Fujin: This explains how we’ve been able to stay here for so long.
Hinata: What do you mean? I thought Izanagi had placed a seal to keep this dimension open.
Suijin: That’s what we thought at first. That is until we sensed an essence similar to Izanagi’s.
Hinata: I don’t understand.
*Hinata activates her byakugan, and sees Orochimaru’s aura all over the dimension. She looks at him, worried.*
Orochimaru: Do not worry. I am not here to fight, at least not yet.
Fujin: What is it?
*Orochimaru disappears and appears behind Hinata, putting her in a reverse choke hold.*
Orochimaru: I need an insurance policy first.
*Orochimaru and Hinata disappear. The three gods look at each other, then disappear.

Last edited by jekyl_hyde; 09-03-2012 at 07:26 PM.
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Old 09-03-2012, 07:26 PM   #1162
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The scene changes to Kakashi, Gai, Bee, and Mungo.*
Kakashi: Unbelievable.
Gai: Bee, Mungo, GO!!!!
*Bee and Mungo start to run towards the Whirlpool country. They are intercepted by Ryu and several of Kabuto’s clones.*
Ryu: Not so fast boys.
*Scene switches back to Kakashi and Gai who are fighting clones. Kakashi has activated his Raikiri, and is attacking clones one after the other. The next panel shows Gai, with the 2nd gate opened, kicking and punching the clones around him.*
Kakashi: Gai, go help out Bee and Mungo. I can handle things here.
*Gai nods to Kakashi. Scene switches to Bee and Mungo as both are not in their bijuu chakra cloaks. Suddenly Bee appears in front of Ryu, punching him in the face, sending him flying backwards. The ground begins to rumble as water erupts from the ground, launching the clones up in the air. Bee and Mungo look at one another and the carnage they created.*
Bee: Not bad, my man.
Mungo: We should go.
*Just as both men begin to leave, tree branches sprout from the ground, imprisoning both men. The kage clones step out and approach the two jinchuuriki. Gai sees this and picks up his pace to reach his comrades. Scene switches back Kakashi, who continues to slash the clones with his Raikiri, but isn’t finishing off the clones.*
Kakashi in thought: This is not working.
*Suddenly the area around Kakashi goes black. Scene switches to Naruto and Sasuke who are walking through the main entrance to Suna.*
Sasuke: Do you sense him?
Naruto: Aye. He’s here.
Sasuke: And anyone else?
*Kabuto appears at the top of the wall.*
Kabuto: I’m here, of course.
*Naruto flickers up to Kabuto, as Sasuke continues to enter Suna.*
Naruto: We have unfinished business.
Kabuto: Aye…. we do.
*Kabuto flings off his cloak, entering a battle stance, instantly entering his sage mode. The next panel shows Naruto looking at Kabuto with his toad eyes.*
Kabuto: This should be interesting.
Naruto thinking back to when he beat Kabuto to protect Tsunade: I beat you once, I can do it again.
Kabuto: Surely you don’t think I was going all out during that time.
Naruto: Maybe you should have.
*Instantly Naruto flickes to Kabuto’s position, with a rasengan in hand. The rasengan connects, exploding and sending Kabuto flying off the wall. Naruto flickers to where Kabuto landed, waiting for the dust to clear.*
Naruto: Quit hiding, you snake.
Kabuto: Surely you know by now, I am no snake. I am the Dragon Sage.
*Suddenly, Kabuto erupts through the ground, mouth wide open, with Naruto up to his knees in his mouth. As Kabuto’s intial thrust throws Naruto out of his mouth before he can close it, he is following Naruto in the air, with a chakra scalpel cloak on both hands. Once Naruto has reached the pinnacle of his jump in the air, he begins to fall back towards Kabuto. Kabuto is seen grinning. The next panel shows Naruto with a calm face, looking at Kabuto.*
Naruto in thought: It’s time I show you what I have mastered.
*Just as Kabuto is about to reach Naruto, he does a descending roundhouse kick, using the natural energy to push himself to the side as Kabuto parries the kick. Both men fall to the ground.*
Kabuto: Well done, Naruto-kun. *begins to grin* But I’m afraid that our fight for now, ends here.
*Suddenly, Orochimaru comes out of the ground, with Hinata in a reverse choke hold. The scene switches to Mungo, Bee, as they are still trapped in the roots. Bee and Mungo look at each other, then back to the oncoming kages.*
Bee: Mutha Fuckas, I’m tired of dis shit!
*Suddenly a bijuu-dama appears in front of Bee, with Bee launching it towards the kages. As the bijuu-dama reaches the kages, they all dodge the attack with ease, but during the attack by Bee, Mungo was able to use a fireball jutsu to free him and Bee. Suddenly, Raiju emerges from the dust cloud of the bijuu-dama, sprinting towards Bee and Mungo with his one finger attack. Bee, seeing that he is the first target, realizes that he cannot evade the attack. Right before Raiju reaches Bee, Gai (in his 7th gate form) crashes down, parrying Raiju’s attack with his nunchuckus.*
Gai: Run like hell!
*Bee and Mungo start running again. Raiju takes notice and begins to pursue the two. Suddenly a large turtle falls to ground right in front of Raiju. Gai is standing on the turtle’s shell.*
Gai: I’m your opponent.
Raiju: You die here, you piece of trash.
Gai: Youth before wisdom.
*Gai launches himself towards Raiju. Both men are shown to be on a head-on collision. The two collide, and shockwave sends everyone and thing backwards, by the enormous force. The scene switches to Suna, with Sasuke walking up to a bloodied Yamato.*
Sasuke: So Orochimaru is after those?!
*Sasuke glares at the five treasures Rikudo Sennin.*
Sasuke: He’s not going to get them.
*Sasuke picks Yamato up by his collar with his left hand, with a chidori charged in his right hand. Sasuke pulls his hand back, ready to strike.*
Naruto yelling: Sasuke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Sasuke looks back at Naruto, seeing him standing in front of Orochimaru and Kabuto, with Orochimaru holding Hinata as hostage. Sasuke drops Yamato. Yamato then scurries over to the treasures, gathering them and running towards Orochimaru and Kabuto.*
Orochimaru: Do it.
*Kabuto makes a handsign, and instantly, he along with Yamato and the treasures disappear. Orochimaru is grinning at Naruto and Sasuke. Suddenly Orochimaru has an alerted look about his face. He flings Hinata towards Naruto, as he leaps to dodge a projectile that causes an explosion. Scene switches back to the fight between Gai and Raiju. Gai is seen approaching Raiju, who is down on one knee. As Gai walks up to Raiju, he keels over. Gai suddenly notices two figures around Kakashi. The next panel shows Kakashi in darkness.*
Kakashi: It can’t be. This is Tsukuyomi!
*Tsukuyomi walks round Kakashi.*
Tsukuyomi: Precisely. This is your second trip here, correct?
Kakashi: What are you doing here?
Tsukuyomi: Making sure that you die.
Kakashi: Why me?
Tsukuyomi: Because of your sharingan.
*Suddenly Kakashi is ablaze from Amerterasu, as Amerterasu appears behind Kakashi. The next panel is back in reality, with Kakashi about to keel over, when Ryu appears with his blade, swinging, and beheading Kakashi. The next panel shows Kakashi’s head, falling and hitting the ground. The next panel shows Gai, who saw Kakashi’s beheading. Enraged with all sorts of emotions, Gai unlocks the 8th gate, the gate of death. The ground around Gai is quaking. With one swing of a nunchuku, Gai decapitates Raiju. Ryu sees this and disappears into the ground. In an instant, Gai is gone, and appears in front of the other kages. Gai performs his Afternoon Tiger attack, annihilating all of the kage clones excluding the younger Oonoki and Professor. They look at each other, nodding to one another. They each flicker to opposite sides of Gai. The scene switches back to Naruto, Sasuke, Hinata, and Orochimaru. Naruto catches Hinata.*
Sasuke: What the hell was that?
*The next panel shows Susanoo grinning at the group.*
Susanoo: I’m back motherfuckers!
*Susanoo continues to fire arrows at Orochimaru. Sasuke begins to charge up.*
Naruto: Wait a minute. He’s not going after us. Orochimaru is his target. We should take this time and regroup back at base. Yamato and the treasures have disappeared.
Sasuke: Just what in the hell is going on here?
*Scene switches back to Gai, Professor, and the younger Oonoki. Both men stop, with Professor shooting numerous fireballs at Gai, while the younger Oonoki shoots his jinton particle beam at Gai. Just as both attacks are about to connect, Gai vanishes. He appears directly infront of the younger Oonoki as the particle beam and fireballs collide with each other, creating a huge explosion. Gai grabs his wrist, and throws him towards the explosion. As the younger Oonoki is heading towards the blast, Gai appears behind him, punching him in his lower spine, sending him faster towards the blast. Gai then flickers to behind Professor, doing a basic roundhouse kick. As the kick connects, the body turns to mud, trapping Gai. The next panel shows Professor’s hand, with a Raikiri, sticking through Gai’s chest. Gai begins to cough up blood. Gai falls to his knees. The next panel shows the viewpoint from Gai’s eyes, looking at Kakashi’s decapitated head on the ground, staring back at him. The next few panels show Gai’s eyes closing.*
Gai: So we finally meet our end, my rival. You made them all proud.
*The next panels shows thought bubbles of Minato, Obito, Rin, and finally Sakumo. The next panel shows the viewpoint from Gai, with his eyes closed.*
Gai: Maybe I will finally beat you in the afterlife.
*The scene switches back to the beach, with only Amatsu standing, looking out over the ocean. Fujin, Raijin, and Suijin appear.*
Amatsu smiling: Nice to see you again so soon, at least compared to how long it has been in the past.
Fujin: Is this really what you want, brother?
Amatsu, walking towards the group: Aye. And it’s time these belligerent humans know their place as well.
Raijin: You know we will not allow that brother.
Amatsu: Aye, so…. Not long from now, it will only be myself and my bride. *looking at Fujin* I know your children plot behind me. Same goes for our niece and nephews. I also know of your son’s “trump card” against all of us. Susanoo is dealing with him now.
Fujin: So you know then?
Amatsu: Aye, I’ve known for some time now. I’m surprised your little bitch of a daughter hasn't figured it out yet.
Suijin: You know we will end this here.
Amatsu: No… No you won’t.

End.

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Old 09-03-2012, 07:54 PM   #1163
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

J_H, welcome back to the party boss. You've been playing papa bear but your skills are in peak creative form. I seriously wanna see that Susanoo/Orochimaru battle. That should be bananas. Looking very much forward to the next installment.
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Old 09-08-2012, 08:23 PM   #1164
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Jekyl that was good man. It's been long to feel your fights and stories again. Just wanted to ask you, I forgot what happened to tobi in your story, am guessing he died somehow. Anyways looks like you killed of kakashi, was hoping him to somehow advance his kamui to tobis level.

Another question regarding this; we have, izanagi, izanami, susano, tsuyomi etc. But is there anyone called kamui or does he even exist? and is it possible for you to make him appear in your story some how?
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Old 09-09-2012, 10:44 AM   #1165
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The latest chapter is out. It's just a prelude chapter. Right now, the real action will begin.


Chapter five: Different paths.
*

The panel shows the arena. Two weeks have passed. The arena is filled with angels. Everyone is there, waiting for the end of the battle. Yama and Livontes are already in the arena. Next to them is Gabriel. At the seats, the whole Archangel order is lined up. They are waiting for the battle to begin. All the seats are taken. Everyone wants to see who will became the next Archangel.*

Yama angry: Well, where is he?!?
Livontes: Gabriel, Vishnu is not coming anymore. Let's start this fight.
Gabriel: Five more minutes. And if he still doesn't show up, you two can fight.*
Yama: Five more minutes.
As the minutes pass by, Vishnu is nowhere to be seen. Gabriel sighs and turns to look at the two present combatants.
Gabriel: So it seems that this is it...Vishnu is disqua...
Suddenly he stops talking, because in the middle of the arena a burst of black flames appear. The flames are immediatly shaped as two bodies. From the black fire Kazer and Vishnu emerged.
Immediatly the arena gets filled with Archangels. Kazer gets surrounded by Michael, Raphael and Shiva.
Michael: How dare you to appear here?!?
Kazer smiles menacing: I just wanted to have a little chat with Kubera.
Shiva: It seems that the young Vishnu has connections with Kazer.
Kazer: I do indeed. But i just trained him a bit. Well, he didn't had a choice actually.*
Gabriel: Brothers...how are we going to settle this?
Kazer: Let me tell you. I'm not here to fight any of you. I haven't commited any crimes against the Heavens. Yet. That's why you should take a break.
Suddenly Kubera lands in the middle of the group.
Kubera: So you're Kazer.
Kazer smiles.
Kazer: And you are Kubera. Nice to meet you. We should have a little chat.
Kubera: Indeed. But now...let's watch the fight. We will talk later. Even you cannot defeat the full power of the Archangels. You will join us, at our seats for now.
Kazer: It's fine with me.
Michael: But!!!
Kubera: I said that for now, we will all stay calm.
Everyone leaves the stage, but the three fighters and Gabriel.
Gabriel: So...now...you will have a battle. There are no restrictions. Are you ready?
Each combatant smiles. The panel shows Aphrodite's concerned face.*
Gabriel shouts: Begin!!!
The three angels remains still.
Yama: You should both get out now.
Livontes: And why should we, Yama? We can beat you.
Yama: There is no "we" in this, boy. Vishnu will not help you.
Vishnu remains silent.
Livontes: It doesn't matter if he helps me or not, i can kill you on my own.
Yama: I would like to see you try.
Suddenly they both get shaked by a sudden release of power. The panel shows Vishnu. The sealing cloth on his right arm is missing. He is already prepared to take them seriously.
Vishnu: Let's do this...
Instantly Yama jumps above both of them and releases at the same time from his palms two red beams. Livontes dodges it, but Vishnu simply deflects it.
Yama thinking: Interesting. He deflected my attack. Guess that it's time to get serious on them!

The scene shows Kazer standing next to Kubera.

Kubera: So...let me introduce myself properly. My name is Kubera and i am the head of the Archangels.*
Kazer: I'm Kazer.
Kubera: Just like that? You are Kazer? It's never that simple, i'm afraid.
Kazer smiles: You're right. It's never that simple.*
Kubera: I can tell that this is not your real name, Kazer.
Kazer: Correct.
Kubera: So why don't you tell me...what is your real name?
Kazer: I don't think so.*
Kubera: Why not?
Kazer: Because it might alter the future. You see...i'm not from around. So...if i tell you my real name, your Archangels will remember it, and they will have...second thoughts, when it will come to fight with me in the future.
Kubera: Don't you think that i will have second thoughts?
Kazer: No. Because you are not part of the future. You will die, Head Archangel. Soon.
Kubera smiles: You have made a mistake, Kazer.
Kazer: What mistake?
Kubera: You assume that the future is already determined. The future is constantly changing.*
Kazer: Indeed. But this future will not change.
Kubera: Tell me your name then.
Kazer smiles: Send away Michael, Raphael, Shiva and Brahma, and i will tell you who i really am.
Kubera looks at the four Archangels.
Michael: Head Archangel. Think about this...
Kubera: I can tell by looking at him...he is not here to kill me.
Kazer: I am not. You will fall before someone else.*
Kubera: You four...go away. I want to talk with him. Alone.
Michael grins but he accepts Kubera's decision. All the Archangels leaves the place.
Kubera turns and looks at Kazer.
Kubera: Now...why don't you tell me? What is your purpose here? And who are you.
Kazer: Let me tell you a story, Kubera. In a distant time, the Earth will be populated with humans. A devious creature will rise a war. A war that will bring destruction upon every realm that exists. The Heavens will be led by Michael and he will fall. The world will eventually know peace. The real peace. But for that to happen, that young angel over there, Vishnu, must grow. He must became the man that he is destined to be.*
Kubera: And what he is to you in the future?
Kazer: My mentor. My friend. My brother. You see, after that war, another brother of mine will also rise. He is destined to became something else. Greater than you and me. But for that to happen, the Death must assume its role. And slay the Creator. Your Father.
Kubera: It's impossible! The Creator cannot be slain!
Kazer: It's his own will. Everyone has to die at a certain moment. Let me enlighten you...the world, as you know it...it's just a dream, an illusion. Everything it's a lie. There are no forces in the world, besides the life and the death. The Creator, when he made this place, he also made a set of rules. Rules that cannot be broken. I broked one of those rules. The most important.*
Kubera: I don't understand...
Kazer: For the world to exist...the Creator must vanish at a certain point. Otherwise, the balance of the world would be disrupted and everything would colapse.*
Kubera: And who are you?!?
Kazer smiling menacing: My real name is....
He stops because suddenly a powerful wind starts blowing. Kazer's eyes are now focused on the fight.
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Old 09-09-2012, 10:45 AM   #1166
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The panel it's switched. It shows Yama facing Livontes and Vishnu.

Yama suddenly dashes towards Livontes, wielding a red energy sword. Just when he is about to connect, Vishnu appears and blocks his assault. Yama spins and tries to deliver a kick, but this time Livontes saves Vishnu and blocks Yama's side kick. Yama backs off and starts releasing his energies.
Livontes: He is a dangerous fellow.
Vishnu: We should...
Livontes: Yeah...i agree...
Yama: You agree what?
The panel shows Vishnu and Livontes getting back to back and smiling both.
Vishnu: We will defeat you together!
Livontes: And then we will see which one is more powerful between us!
Vishnu: So...you'd better...
Livontes: Be ready...
Vishnu and Livontes both with a menacing smile: Because we are coming after you!
Instantly Vishnu leaps and lands exactly in front of Yama. He quickly engages the angel In sword fighting. Yama manages to parry the attacks. Vishnu suddenly crouches, as a purple beam passes above his head towards Yama. The angel dodges it Matrix style, but Vishnu uses the momentum to try to slash him. Yama gets up and manages to block Vishnu's sword. At the same moment, the angel releases his sword, and grabs Yama's right hand instead.
Vishnu: Got you!
From behind Livontes appears and impales Yama in the shoulder with his sword. At the same moment Vishnu creates another energy sword and impales Yama in the stomach.
Livontes: You have lost...
Yama as he coughs blood: I wouldn't be so sure!!!
Suddenly Yama releases from his body stream of red energy. The energy closes his wounds and wraps around his body.
Yama: Come on!!!
He appears exactly behind Vishnu and delivers such a powerful blow to his head, that the angel gets throwed several meters away, and he crashes into the arena's wall. The next moment, Livontes engages Yama, but the latter catches Livontes's punch, and simply breaks his arm without any effort at all. And, the next moment he gives the angel a powerful kick right in the chest. Livontes gets pushed back. Vishnu rises from the dust and claps his hands together, creating a stream of lightning bolts between his palms.*
Vishnu shouts: Lightning creation!*
He shots the lightnings at Yama, but a strange thing happens. Just when the lightnings were about to hit the angel, they got nullified.*
Yama's eyes are red and he smiles.
Yama: You cannot hit me, Vishnu. I'm sorry.
Slowly Livontes gets up and looks at Vishnu.
Livontes: Vishnu...stand aside. I will try something new...
Vishnu: Something new?!?
Livontes as he gathers his energies: Something that you have never seen before...
Around his fists purple energy is concentrated. He claps his palms and now, the purple energy got transffered to his right arm, and slowly gets shaped as a blade. Livontes swings the blade in Yama's direction.
Livontes shouting: Phantom's menace!!! Corrupted attack!!!
He releases from the tip of the blade a powerful, dark, *wave-like beam towards Yama. The angel watches shocked as the wave is coming closer and closer. He focuses his eyes on the middle of the wave, and slowly it starts vanishing.
Livontes shocked: What the...!?!
Suddenly the middle of the wave completly vanishes, thus rendering the attack useless.
Yama is shown sweating heavily. He barely had time to disrupt the attack.
Livontes falls to his knees exhausted. But in an instant Yama appears in front of him and impales him right in the chest with a red energy blade. Livontes coughs blood and falls down.
Yama: It's not a fatal one...but it's enough to take you out from the fight.
Vishnu is shown with an angry face.
Yama: Now that Livontes's out...what can you do, Vishnu? You are powerful indeed...i give you that. But as you can see, no harm can come to me.*
Vishnu thinking: It seems that there is no other choice...

Flashback

Vishnu is shown training with Kazer.
Vishnu: What do you mean that i have to awaken the power in my eyes?
Kazer: I meant that you eyes contain something extremly powerful. In time, that power will grow...but for now, you must awaken it.
Vishnu: What power?!?
Kazer: I always suspected that your Raigan has something to do with the Earth. You see...your love for the human kind it's what it feeds him.
Vishnu: My what?!?
Kazer: Raigan. It's an ocular power. With it, you are able to access all of the nature's elements and powers. You are able to do extraordinary things. But you must prepare yourself to use it.
Vishnu: And how do i do that?!?
Kazer smiles menacing: You will have to die first..
Vishnu: Die?!?
Kazer instantly appears in front of Vishnu. The panel shows Kazer's face from Vishnu's POV. His black eyes slowly change. They became red with a spiralling pattern inside them.
Kazer: Tsukuyomi...
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Old 09-09-2012, 10:45 AM   #1167
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

End of flashback.

Vishnu raises his right hand. White energies are spinning around it.
Vishnu: Yama...you...will not...became...an Archangel...not...with me...around...
Suddenly the wind starts blowing harder. It's like a tornado landed in the middle of the arena. Lightnings are seen and thunders heard. The ground is shaked.
The panel shows Aphrodite smiling.
Aphrodite thinking: So this is his real power...finally...
Vishnu points at the sky with his hand as his entire body gets enveloped by the white light.
Yama shaked: What the hell!?!
Suddenly the whole apocalyptic scene stops. Even the wind ceases to blow. The entire stadium is silenced. Only Vishnu's whisper is heard.
Vishnu: Raigan...
And almost instantly the apocalypse starts again. The wind blows powerful than ever, giant lightnings are striking near the arena and inside the arena, and ground gets violently shaked. And just like it started everything stoped. The scene it's focused on Vishnu now. His entire atitude and posture has changed. He is now taking an arrogant and superior pose. He is fully relaxed and confident in his power. Yama looks in his eyes, and shocked he makes a couple of steps back.
Vishnu: Yeah...that's right...
The panel shows Vishnu's eyes. The Raigan manifested inside them for the first time! The lightning pattern is glowing in a gold color.
Vishnu: Light release...blade of void...
In his right hand a light blade appears. But it's different than any light blade ever seen. It's hilt has a hawk head and the guard looks like some wings.
Yama smiles.
Yama: I see...so you have the powers of an Archangel. If i'm not mistaken, you are almost as powerful as Kubera is. Amazing...you managed to hide this all this time. But you see, Vishnu...you have chosen the worst opponent for those powers of yours.
Vishnu: And why is that?
Yama with a menacing voice: Because i can "kill" them!!!
Yama starts emmiting red energy from his body. In dense waves.
Yama thinking: I have to kill his energy. Otherwise, he will defeat me!
Yama shouts: Death release!!! Red eye power!!!
The red glow in his eyes gets more intense as Vishnu slowly starts sweating.
Vishnu: What the hell!?!
Yama: I am killing your powers...that's what is happening!
Vishnu tries to attack Yama, but instead he falls on one knee. He can barely breathe.
Vishnu thinking: Crap! Why i am so tired? Why so sudden?!?
Yama thinking: Those eyes took quite a tool on him. Even though, if i had let him attack me, i wouldn't be standing here right now. I've made the right call...
Vishnu's blade vanishes and so does the Raigan. He falled to his knees. He is sweating heavily. Yama managed to kill his energy.
The angel approaches Vishnu wielding his red energy blade.
Yama: You...have lost Vishnu. You are powerful...indeed. But you falled for my trap. I am the winner. I will became an Archangel. And...i will kill you...
Yama swings his blade towards Vishnu's neck. Aphrodite is heard screaming. But from the arena only one sound is heard. How the blade hit something.

The panel shows Kazer. He landed exactly in front of Vishnu and blocked Yama's attack.

Yama: What the..!?!*
Kazer: Hi Yama. I'm afraid that you're not going to kill him today. Not on my watch.
Yama screams: Who do you think you are?!?
Kazer smiles: It doesn't matter. You will not be allowed to kill Vishnu.
Yama makes a couple of steps back and launches a powerful red beam at Kazer. As soon as the beam approaches the man, slowly, *it vanishes.
Yama thinking: What the...!?! It's just like my Death Eye!
Kazer: Yeah...you see...i'm just like you.*
Suddenly Kazer is surrounded by all the Archangels . Michael, Kubera, Gabriel, Raphael, Brahma and Shiva are looking at him.
Kubera: I'm sorry, but you will not leave this place alive...if you don't tell me who you really are.
Kazer smiles menacing and looks at everyone.
Kazer: Fine. I will tell you. I guess that it's time.
Kazer: My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I'm the current God of Death, wielder if the Spiralling Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan. I am a man that exists outside God's plan and rules for the world. I am the one who will reap your Father's soul at the end of time. That's who i am!
Kubera looks at him and grins.
Kubera: You heard him Archangels. He is a sworn enemy to our Father. We must take him down immediatly.
Sasuke makes a couple of steps back and smiles. Slowly Michael and the others are moving towards him.
Sasuke: I should warn you...Kubera...no angel has defeated me in battle yet. Not now, and not in the future. I am known in my own timeline as the God Slayer. You should be careful where you send your men.
Kubera: I don't plan to kill you. It would be foolish.
Sasuke thinking: Crap. He is not stupid at all. He got it.
Kubera: It would be foolish, because i want actually to know informations about the future. And what other way than capturing you?
Sasuke laughs: Capture me? You think that you can do it? Then give it a try...Kubera. Send your Archangels to beat me.*
Kubera: Everyone...aim for the kill. We must use lethal force. He won't die, but maybe we can put him down.
Every Archangel: Aye, Head Archangel!
Sasuke smiles as he starts taking out his sword.
The first one to attack is Michael. Sasuke dodges the assault, places his right hand on Michael's shoulder and forces him to kneel, because of the power applied. A crack it's heard. And the next moment, Sasuke simply kicks Michael away. At the same time Brahma releases some fire at him, and Shiva a chaos beam. Sasuke dodges the fire, and deflects the chaos beam. He jumps and lands exactlly between the two Archangels.
Sasuke: Chidori Nagashi!!
He releases from his body countless streams of electricity that throws the Archangels on the ground. Raphael places himself in front f Kubera, protecting him and Gabriel rushes towards the other fallen Archangels.
Sasuke: Head Archangel...Kubera...as i told you...i am not here to fight. I just gave Vishnu a little push so he can unlock his potential. But i must warn you...if you dare to touch him...i will kill every one of you. I will burn down the Heavens.
Kubera simply looks at Sasuke.
Sasuke: Now...if you'll excuse me...i have other places to be.*
Sasuke makes a handsign and he vanishes in a burst of black flames.

The panel it's switched. It shows Vishnu in a large council room. In a circle, surrouding him, are all the Archangels.

Kubera: Vishnu. Even though you have lost the match against Yama Dharma we have summoned you here today to promote you to the Archangel rank. You proved yourself to be a valuable member.*
Michael: But, under the condition that you will hunt down the man called Uchiha Sasuke.
Brahma: And you will bring him to justice.
Vishnu looks at every one of them and bows.
Vishnu: I accept the promotion and...the condition.

The scene it's switched. Several years have passed since Vishnu was promoted to the Archangel rank. The whole Heaven is in turmoil. They are all watching the Earth. In a couple of days a huge event will happen. One that will have a great impact on the world. Eve is pregnant. And she will give birth in a couple of hours.

The panel shows Vishnu standing next to Gabriel and Shiva. They are watching from Heavens, on a screen-like device the turnout of the events. Kubera sent two female angels to help Eve. In a couple of hours Eve delivers the first boy. She looks at him and smiles.
Female angel: What shall he be named?
Eve: ...Cain...
A few minutes later she delivers the second boy too.
Female angel: And he?
Eve: ...Abel...
The scene shows the two newborn brothers as they look at eachother and smile. Then the panel shows Sasuke who is hidden in the darkness. He is also watching the birth.
Sasuke to himself: Hmpf...if one doesn't know he could be tricked by this image...Cain and Abel...Faust and Dante...the world will now you both for eternity...

The end.
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Old 09-09-2012, 12:54 PM   #1168
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

lol vishnu, it was sasuke after all. For a moment i thought it may have been konohamaru. But it was cleverly done; and i thought eve gave birth to twins male and a female, first cain and sister1 then abel and sister2. Anyways ppl have different views on that.

Got one question:

I am kind of confused how you portraying vishnu and yama. Last chapter you written vishnu killed 5 dragons and even arch angel has trouble with killing 5 dragons; this means vishnu was already the same level as an arch angel or beyond arch angel, and now he seemed weaker than yama, that should means yama's way stronger than other archangel. Also last chapter you implicated vishnu was stronger micheal, does that mean vishnu and yama is already stronger than arch angels?
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Old 09-09-2012, 01:23 PM   #1169
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by UzumakiUchiha View Post
lol vishnu, it was sasuke after all. For a moment i thought it may have been konohamaru. But it was cleverly done; and i thought eve gave birth to twins male and a female, first cain and sister1 then abel and sister2. Anyways ppl have different views on that.

Got one question:

I am kind of confused how you portraying vishnu and yama. Last chapter you written vishnu killed 5 dragons and even arch angel has trouble with killing 5 dragons; this means vishnu was already the same level as an arch angel or beyond arch angel, and now he seemed weaker than yama, that should means yama's way stronger than other archangel. Also last chapter you implicated vishnu was stronger micheal, does that mean vishnu and yama is already stronger than arch angels?
The strenght issue will be cleared up in the next chapter. Right now, it seems that Yama holds the upper hand against Vishnu.
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Old 09-09-2012, 03:47 PM   #1170
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Originally Posted by Vishnu View Post
The strenght issue will be cleared up in the next chapter. Right now, it seems that Yama holds the upper hand against Vishnu.
Of course it was Sasuke. Loo I called that sometime ago. My question is though if Yama isn't yet the Death God how can he use Death techs? Killer action sequences Vish, but it's expected frankly at this point.
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