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Old 11-16-2012, 09:06 AM   #1306
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
Vishnu!!
This sh*t is outstanding. You've finally taken me where I felt the story should go. You've given us a surprise guy, Claude probably/hopefully, you made Arinasa a nice badass, the Celest City is starting to get it cracking. So now, don't mess around man, you've managed to beautifully transition from your fanfic to this original gem so I need that next installment sir. Also a question, if Robert is the Earth manipulator guy why didn't he put up a better fight being on Earth of all places? That's more curiosity than an actual question lol. So when can your readers expect that??
Well first thanks a lot for your words. Now about Robert and his powers...his true power it's not the earth manipulation. That's just a secondary power. His true power is not even the Balance of Truth that he used against Yama. An Eären's true power will be explained in the next chapter. And it should be up by the end of the weekend.
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Old 11-18-2012, 03:06 PM   #1307
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Sorry about the hiatus guys. We've had a lot of things going on. We know that baby boy is definitely coming early according to the docs, just not exactly sure of when. Our car was also broken into. I haven't forgotten about my promise to you guys, and when I do have some time, I'm looking forward to catching up on your stuff vishnu.
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Old 11-18-2012, 03:37 PM   #1308
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by jekyl_hyde View Post
Sorry about the hiatus guys. We've had a lot of things going on. We know that baby boy is definitely coming early according to the docs, just not exactly sure of when. Our car was also broken into. I haven't forgotten about my promise to you guys, and when I do have some time, I'm looking forward to catching up on your stuff vishnu.
Hey man. Sorry to hear about your car, but happy to hear about your baby boy. Congratulations! It's a big step. I don't know you, but i'm actually happy for you. You managed to put a smile on my face with those news. Anyway, i'm sure that nobody here has anything to say about your hiatus, since you got such important stuff going on. Congratulations again!
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Old 11-18-2012, 10:24 PM   #1309
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Thumbs up Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Hey man. Sorry to hear about your car, but happy to hear about your baby boy. Congratulations! It's a big step. I don't know you, but i'm actually happy for you. You managed to put a smile on my face with those news. Anyway, i'm sure that nobody here has anything to say about your hiatus, since you got such important stuff going on. Congratulations again!
100% agree J_H.
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Old 11-19-2012, 02:04 PM   #1310
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

And the second chapter of the Volume nr. 2 it's up. I'm waiting for opinions and criticism. As Kiddjutsu would say: i just added several major twists to the plot. Hope that you'll enjoy it.


Chapter two: The Truth.



The scene shows Arinasa in her cage. She is not able to use any abilities. She is mad but she manages to pose as a calm prisonier. Michael enters the room.

Michael: Hello, Arinasa. How are you today?
Arinasa: What do you want?
Michael: Nothing actually. I just came by to see if you killed yourself.*
Arinasa: My life is too precious to kill myself.
Michael: Too precious for who? For your friends? Who abandoned you? For Vishnu? Who died and failed to protect you?*
Arinasa: For them and for me.
Michael smiles: Listen to me. You had two Eärens as protectors. One...i killed him myself. The second one i got him killed by the Beyonders. The rest of your friends are a bunch of useless immortals. Nobody is coming for you. Nobody knows where you are.
Arinasa: Then why are you keeping me alive?
Michael: Because i want your Azymus.*
Arinasa: Then take it.
Michael remains silent.
Arinasa: You can't just take it, can you? You need me to do something...something that would help you taking it. Well, i'm sorry, Michael. But i won't play your game.
Michael smiles and leaves the room.
Arinasa thinking: Shit...he is right. Nobody can save me. Claude is dead. Most likely Robert didn't survived that blow. The others are useless against Michael. And this cage keeps me from using my powers...it seems that this is the end!

The scene shows Robert. He is sitting in a bed and he just woke up. At his side are Leonardo and Darwin.

Robert: What...what happend?
Leonardo: Michael impaled you in the chest with his sword.
Robert: I remember now...but that wound was fatal...how did you saved me?!?
Darwin exchanges a look with Leonardo, then he answers.
Darwin: It wasn't easy...but we did it.*
Leonardo: Yeah...it took all the knowledge that we have to save you. Now you're fine, but you should rest a couple of hours.
Robert: Ok. Forget it!
He gets off the bed and starts changing his shirt.
Robert: Where is Arinasa?!? Did Michael took her?
Darwin: Unfortunately he did.*
Robert: Fine. Prepare yourselves and let the other know.*
Leonardo: Know what?
Robert with a menacing look: We are going to save her!
Leonardo and Darwin leave the room and they go to speak with the others.
Leonardo: Do you think that...
Darwin stops him: That we should have told him about the one who really saved him?
Leonardo: Yeah.
Darwin: No. He gave us specific instructions that we will not tell Robert about him. Yet.
Leonardo: But why?
Darwin: Because it seems that Robert has a vulnerability that all Eärens posses. It seems that Michael can read another Eären's thoughts while he is in the Celest City. If Michael would know about him...
Leonardo: Michael would kill Arinasa instantly.
Darwin: Exactly. And our minds are shielded it seems. So, for the time being, we will keep Robert in the dark.

The panel it's switched. It shows Robert's castle. A day has passed. They are all gathered in the main yard. Everyone is dressed for battle. Robert appears.

Robert: So...is everyone sure that you want to come with me to the Celest City?
Everyone: Aye.
Robert: I must warn you...most likely, many of us won't return from this. Many of us will die there. So if you want to reconsider...
Henry: Robert...cut the crap please...we are all ready to go and die. We will retrieve Arinasa.
Robert: As you wish then.
Robert claps his hands together and green energy forms between his palms. Then, he places his palms on the ground.
Robert: Sigillanda! Celest civitatem! Portas aperire!!!
From the ground a spiritual majestic gate emerges. Robert pushes it with his hand, revealing a white vortex.
Robert with a determined look on his face: I promised you that i will protect her with me life...well...i'm going to do it!
The last panel shows everyone entering the vortex and vanishing.

The scene it's switched. It shows the Celest City. The city it's located on a plate in the middle of clouds. Skyscrappers are seen. The City has a round shape, with giant defensive walls. In the middle is a tower that has a lightning shape. Vishnu's former tower.

The panel shows Robert, Henry, Isaac, Charles, Harry, Leonardo, Suleyman, Max and Amadeus in front of the city's grand gates. They appeared out of nowhere.

Robert: This is it gentlemen...the Celest City.
Everyone stares amazed at the sight of the City that Vishnu build out of nothing. They witness that power of the Eärens.
Suleyman: Well then..shall we?
Robert pushes the gate and they all enter. Just as they enter in front of them lands a man.
Unknown man: You will all stop right here!
Robert: Hello Julius.
Julius: Robert. I thought that Michael killed you.
Robert: He failed.
Julius: I'm sorry, but you will not pass.
Robert: Everyone...meet Julius Caesar. He became an Eären after Yama killed him. That's the requirment of becaming one. You must die first, by the hand of your best friend.
Henry: What's his ability?
Robert: Swords. He is one of the best swordsman that the City has to offer.
Henry as he takes out his reforged Iridium blade: He is mine. Everyone, please proceed ahead. I will face him.*
Robert: Are you sure?
Henry smiling: Yeah. This should be interesting. I have searched for someone that can defeat me in sword fighting.
Robert: Then he is all yours.
Julius: You should know, Robert...i'm not the only one who will encounter your group.
Robert: I know. I would be disappointed if the Celestials wouldn't try to kill us.
Henry makes a step forward.
Henry: Julius Caesar. I am Henry Tudor former King of England. I will be your opponent.
Caesar: Nice to meet you.
Henry as he takes a battle stance: Everyone...go!
The group leaves Henry alone facing Julius Caesar.
Henry: So...Robert said that you are the best swordsman in the whole Celest City. Well, i'm the best on Earth. I think that it will be interesting to see which one of us can prevail.
Caesar: Henry. I'm glad that you came. I haven't had much action in the past centuries, here. I think that you could be fun.
Henry as he prepares to attack: So do i.
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Old 11-19-2012, 02:05 PM   #1311
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The scene it's switched. It shows Robert's group advancing through the streets.

Robert:The cells are in the main tower. At the basement. That's where we must go.
Leonardo: Do you think that Henry is going to be ok?
Robert: Only Henry can beat Julius. Henry outranks me in sword fighting. In the meantime, our main concern should be about who lingers around the next corner.
Just as Robert finished saying this, a man lands in front of them. He is a blonde man with blue eyes. Tall. With his hair long, below his shoulders and curly. He is all dressed in white. Behind his back, two giant wings, made of white feathers are seen.Gabriel the Archangel...
Robert: Fuck!
Gabriel: Hello everyone.
Robert: Gabriel...
Gabriel: Robert. I'm amazed that you have dared to come to the City and attack us.
Robert: Well, you took Arinasa. I have to save her.
Gabriel: It's quite foolish of you, if you ask me. You know that we are superior to your power, and yet you chose to come here and attack us. This is an insult, to think that you might actually win.
Robert: It's not an insult, Gabriel. It's an act of bravery.
Gabriel: Call it however you like. But you won't be able to advance. I'm sorry. From the moment that you activated the gate, Michael sensed that you were coming. So he sent me to welcome you.
Robert: I see.
He slowly takes out his sword and smiles.
Robert: Everyone. Please go ahead without me. I will deal with Gabriel.
Gabriel: You don't understand something, Robert. You cannot defeat me. I'm sorry. They can proceed, but they won't make it. After i'm done with you i will go after them.
Robert: You heard him. Go ahead. He will not harm you.
Gabriel smiles: I will not harm you now. You can go. I will be with you in a matter of moments.
Newton: Robert...
Robert: There is no argument here. Go and save Arinasa. I told you where the cells are. Go, and save her. Harry, you memorized the incantation for opening the gates right? You will just change the Celest Civitatem with Terra. You will be able to reach Earth after you saved her.
Harry: Rogered.*
Robert: Suleyman...i leave the command to you. Now go!
Everyone leaves the scene, heading for the main tower.
Robert is shown preparing himself to fight the Archangel.
Gabriel: Don't be a fool. Put your sword down, and i woll spare your life, Robert...
Robert: You know that i cannot do that, Gabriel.
Suddenly Robert activates his Secundo. His outfit changes.He is now wearing green boots, with a black jumpsuit, green arm plates, on his chest he has a green plate. His hair is now spiked and his eyes are determined.
Robert: Blade of Athena...Secundo release...
Gabriel smiles.*
Gabriel: You cannot defeat me with your abilities. I'm sorry, Robert.
Robert: You see, Gabriel...here in the Celest City, i can finally use the Secundo release at its fullest. I can use my special ability without the necessary conditions that i have on Earth.
Robert suddenly places two fingers on his blade.
Robert: Blade of Athena...the Balance of Truth!
Suddenly the scene starts spinning with the two men. They instantly find themselves located in a different dimension. A giant balance made of gold appears in front of them.
Robert: Welcome to my dimension, Gabriel.
Gabriel looks curious but not worried around him.
Gabriel: Interesting. What is this place?
Athena's voice: Welcome. I will be your judge today.*
Gabriel: Judge?
Robert: Athena will ask us three questions. You have to answer them Gabriel.
Gabriel: It's fine with me.
Athena: Very well. Question number one. Robert. How do you feel about Arinasa's former insubordonation?
Robert: I was mad at that moment. Because i realised that she is growing and soon she will no longer listen to what i have to say. Because i realised that she finally got a grasp of her real potential and that she will eventually reach the conclusion that she can take her own decisions without involving me anymore.
Athena: Gabriel. Question number one for you. How do you feel about Michael giving you orders?
Gabriel: Sometimes, i feel a bit frustrated, but he is my older brother so i must listen to him.
Athena: Question number two. Who do you respect the most? For both of you.
Robert: Vishnu.
Gabriel: Vishnu.
Robert shocked: You respect...Vishnu?!?
Gabriel: Of course. He had the courage to do what he thought that it was the right thing to do. He assumed his liberty and stand with his principles until the very end. Plus, he died honorably. Few gods can die with such elegance.
Athena: Question number three. Robert...would you ever betray Vishnu? Even if he would have chosen to do the wrong thinga.
Robert with a determined look: No. I would not.
Athena: Gabriel...would you ever betray Michael if he would make a wrong choice?
Gabriel hesitates for a second then he answers: No. I wouldn't.
Athena: Very well. The answers have been given. Robert was honest, while Gabriel said one lie. You lied, Gabriel, when you said that you won't betray Michael.
Gabriel: So now what?
Robert: This is my ability. Athena will ask you three questions...if you lie i win. Your Azymus gets drained and she gives it to me. And then i kill you. So...unfortunately Gabriel...you have lost. Now you will die!
Gabriel starts laughing: Amazing ability. I never knew that something like this even existed. But i won't die. I'm sorry.*
Gabriel simply waves his hand and the whole dimension gets shattered like glass. Athena releases a scream, while Robert stares shocked.
Gabriel: Did you really thought that you could keep me there? It was fin to witness your ability, but i'm sorry. I won't die so easily.*
Robert barely has time to see how Gabriel dashes towards him. After that, everything goes black.

The panel shows Henry fighting Caesar. They are clashing with furry. Swing after swing, Henry gets pushed back by Caesar. Suddenly they take a small break.

Henry: You're quite good.
Caesar: I'm impressed that you managed to keep up with me so far. But i will end this!
Suddenly Caesar dashes towards Henry trying to impale him. Henry dodges, spins and catches Caesar's sword between his body and his arm. With his left hand he pierces Caesar's chest.
Henry: Fool. You were not even a challange to be fair.
Caesar falls to the ground, dead. Henry takes out his sword and looks towards the City.
Henry: Now...i must find the others...

The panel shows the rest of the group heading towards the tower. Suddenly from behind, a powerful light is seen.

Leonardo: That's where we left Robert!
Darwin: Quickly everyone! Get on battle positions!*
Suleyman: What happend to Robert?!?
Suddenly Gabriel's voice is heard.
Gabriel: He lost.
Everyone is shocked. In the middle of the group, Gabriel appeared. They barely have time to react. Newton, Mozart, Leonardo and Darwin are trying to get out their pistols, but before they even managed to reach into their coats they got thrown on their backs by Gabriel. Houdini claps his hands and summons several snakes that he throws at the god. While the snakes were in mid-air, Gabriel only looks at them, and the creatures burst into flames. Then, he waves his hand and Houdini falls on the ground unconcious. Suleyman attempts to slash Gabriel with his sword, but he fails. Gabriel simply touches Suleyman's forehead with one finger. The Sultan falls on the ground. Gabriel heads towards Max. The latter activates his shield, trying to protect himself.
Gabriel: Interesting. An Azymus shield. But it cannot protect you boy.*
Gabriel touches the shield with a finger. The shield explodes, throwing Max on his back and rendering him unconcious.
Gabriel: And with this...it is done.

The scene it's switched. It shows Arinasa in her cell. She is slowly losing her energy. She started kicking and hitting the walls a while ago, trying desperatly to find a breach, but she soon found out that her energy was quickly depleted. Michael enters the room and throws a look at her.

Michael: Amazing. Look at you...you're almost dead.
Arinasa: Bastard...what have you done to me!?!
Michael: I took your Azymus. The more that you struggled to get out, the more i drained your energy. And now..it is over. You can barely stand on your feet.
Arinasa: But...why do you want my energy?!?
Michael smiles: I have a reason. Your Azymus is special. You never wondered how a mere human could aquire powers? How a mere human has the potential to bring down our lives?
Arinasa: No...
Michael: It doesn't matter anymore. I have news for you anyway...your friends...came to rescue you. I'm sorry to tell you that they all lost. They are all my prisoniers. Also i'm done with you. You will be executed tomorrow morning alongside with your friends. I will finally get rid of everyone.*
Arinasa with anger: Fuck you bastard!
Michael starts laughing and he leaves the room.
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Old 11-19-2012, 02:06 PM   #1312
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The panel it's switched. It shows the main square in the Celest City. A day has passed. Ten meters above the ground, on a plate, *nine people are lined up. Leonardo. Harry. Amadeus. Charles. Suleyman. Isaac. Max. Robert. Arinasa. They are all dressed in white robes. *The square is filled with Duodenaes and Eärens. Everyone came to assist the execution. Michael is right next to them, having a sword in his hand.

Michael: Citizens of our proud City! These traitors dared to come here and attack us! But we defeated them. We proved that we are better. They came here with the intent to kill us and destroy our lives. The girl is part of a prophecy! A prophecy that says that in the future, this girl will bring down our City! And us with it! Well, i will not allow this to happen! That's why...i will execute them myself, here, today!!! Starting with the core of our threat!

Arinasa is brought forward by an invisible energy. She struggles but she cannot release herself.
Michael as he prepares to decapitate her: Any last words?
Arinasa: Michael...your arrogance is what will kill you. Even if it's not by my hand...you will die. Eventually.*
Michael smiles: I will never die, foolish girl. Never.*
Unknown voice heard only by Arinasa: I wouldn't be so sure...
Michael makes a step back and slashes towards Arinasa's neck. The only sound heard is of metal hitting the ground.The panel shows a disturbing scene. A man, dressed entirely in black, with his black hair slicked back, caught Arinasa in his arms away from Michael.A man that is tall. The look in his eyes is determined. A superior smile is seen on his face. He finally returned to the Celest City. His final plan worked for him, not against him. He laughed in front of the death and emerged victorious from the clash with it. He is standing tall, proud and dominant. He finally returned...and he throws a menacing gaze at Michael.
Michael shocked and confused: IMPOSSIBLE!!! You shouldn't be alive!!! I saw...i saw...!!!
Claude smiling with superiority: How the Axis Mundi destroyed me? You saw what i wanted you to see. That's the difference, Michael. Now...i am back. And i am here to make sure that you will fall.
Arinasa looks shocked at Claude: You...is this a dream?
Claude: No my love. It's not a dream.*
Claude puts her down and takes a menacing posture.
Michael: I don't understand...you should be dead! No Eären should have the ability to survive the Axis Mundi!!!
Claude: You're right. No Eären has that ability. Now...if you don't mind...
Claude claps his hands together and in the middle of his palms something is forming. Claude summons his blade, Sciffer. He looks at Arinasa.
Claude smiling: Thank you for looking after my sword. If you'll excuse me a moment, i have something to finish here.
Michael: So...do you want to fight me, Vishnu?!?
Claude: No Michael. I don't want to fight you. My only intention is to take your life. That's it.
Michael reveals his blade and shouts: Then come and get it!
Michael places his palm on his blade and screams: Angelic Blade! Secundo release!
From his back giant feather wings emerge. His attire it's switched. Now he is enveloped in a pure, white light. Even his sword is made out of white energy.
Michael: I was never defeated in this form. Even a Beyonder would have trouble beating me right now. You stand no chance, Vishnu!!!
Claude remains still at his place, as he watches Michael's power.
Michael releases a wave attack from the sword towards Claude. When the beam comes near to him, Claude simply cuts it in half with his sealed Sciffer.
Michael shocked thinking: What the?!? He is not even in Tertia! How could he...!?!
Claude: Come on, Michael. That's all you got?
Michael thinking: I will not fool around anymore. I will hit him with my best attack and end this!
Michael jumps into the air and claps his hands shouting. From the ground, a pillar of white emerges and hits him. From the sky another pillars comes down and hits him. Michael points his hands at Claude.
Michael shouts: LUX AETERNA!!!
Michael absorbs the two beams that are enveloping him and releases them towards Vishnu. As they are coming closer and closer, the beams eradicate everything in their path. Claude is shown placing one finger on Sciffer.
Claude: Sciffer...Secundo Release!
Claude erupts in a burst of light. Then he is seen wearing a white shirt with white pants and so on. His hair has now white stripes in it.
Claude simply awaits for the beam to be near him, then he cuts through the middle of it with his sword. He makes it look very easy, as he didn't even blink.
Michael lands on the ground shocked.
Michael: Impossible!!! You should be dead!
Claude: I should, but i am not. You are a moron, Michael. You think that you can defeat the founder of the Celest City in his own domain. Now, you have a choice. Either you throw away your weapon and surrender yourself. Either i kill you. It's that simple.*
Michael starts laughing maniacally: Fuck you Vishnu! You were always so arrogant...you always had that superior glare when you looked at me! I'd better die than surrender to you!
Michael dashes in a furious attempt to kill Vishnu. Claude looks at him. Sadness is in his eyes.
Claude: As you wish then.
The scene shows only how Claude raised a bit his foot from the ground. The next instant he appeard 10 meters behind Michael with his sword raised and stained with blood. Michael is shown. Slowly a red line forms accros his chest. A line of blood. He falls on his knees.
Michael to himself: This world...is a lie...you will learn pretty soon...Vishnu...that...i was the smallest of your threats...
Michael finds energy to clap his palms one more time and place them on the ground.*
He whispers the incantation so nobody can hear him.
Michael: Portas Inferi. Aperire!
Vishnu turns around and looks at Michael. He didn't notice that Michael actually did something.
Claude: It seems that your last attack won't work. You are dead Michael.
Michael with his last smile: The sky...shall fall...Vishnu....
With those said, Michael the leader of the Celest City passed away.
The panel shows Vishnu turning around and looking at the crowd gathered there.
Claude with a mighty voice: CITIZENS OF THE CELEST CITY! Your true leader is back. Do you accept me once again as the ruler of the City?*
The crowd remains silent for a moment, then one of them makes a step ahead.
Claude: And you are?
Unknown man: My name is Krishna. I am the leader of the Blue Guard. I want to tell you something, Lord Vishnu. We are all under your command. The military power of the City recognizes you once more as its leader.
With those said, everyone bows before Vishnu. He looks at them with compassion.
Claude: Thank you...all of you...
Henry is shown coming out of the crowd and kneeling before Claude
Henry: My Lord...we are happy to see you well.*
Claude: Thank you Henry. Now come! Let's release our friends.

The panel it's switched. It shows Claude walking the grand hallway of the tower, towards the Council room. Robert, Henry, Newton, Darwin, Houdini, Leonardo, Suleyman, Mozart, Max and Arinasa are coming behind him. Claude stops in front of the giant doors and he slowly pushes them. The Council room it's revealed. At a table, three people are seen. Gabriel, Hades and Brahma.

Claude: Gabriel. Hades. Brahma. I have returned.
Hades: Hello Vishnu. Welcome back.
Gabriel: Vishnu...
Brahma faking his emotions: Vishnu! Long time no see! It's good to have you back!
Claude smiles: I have defeated Michael. And i have resumed my position as the leader of the City.*
Brahma: Vishnu...if you don't mind...how did...
Claude: How did i survive? Obviously i won't share that with you, Brahma. I can see through your lies. I'm sorry, but you're no longer required.
Claude releases from his palm a lightning. As the lightning comes closer to Brahma, it divides into three seperate beams. The beams strike Brahma's heart, head and chest. The god is left on the ground, dead.
Hades: Lord Vishnu, please spare me! I never plotted against you!
Claude smiles and waves his hand: Both of you...leave the room. I will spare your lives, for now...
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Old 11-19-2012, 02:07 PM   #1313
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Gabriel and Hades get up and leave the room. Claude turns around and looks at his friends.*
Claude: Hello, everyone...
Robert still shocked: How comes that you're still alive?!? How can you be alive?!? I saw how the Axis Mundi obliterated you! And why did you hide yourself from us for two years?!? Two years!*
The panel shows Arinasa's face as Robert asked those questions. She has a mixture of confusion, shock and anger on her expression.
Claude: One question at a time, Robert.*
Robert angry: Then answer!
Claude: I wasn't killed by the Axis Mundi. Only my body was destroyed. The Axis Mundi is supposed to destroy also my soul, and forever. But it didn't work on me. They didn't have enough power to do that.
Robert: The Beyonders? Are you saying that the Beyonders didn't have enough power to obliterate an Eären?
Claude: Something like that. Anyway...i was suspended between worlds for a couple of months. I saw my entire life. I saw my mistakes. And i saw my flaws. When i managed to accept the man that i really was, i also reached a point where i could simply return. Just like that. And i did. I woke up a year and half ago somewhere in Australia.*
Robert: A year and a half ago! You could have returned to us!
Claude: Not exactly. I observed you from the distance. I saw that several other people were observing you. I kept my distance. I watched over you, waiting for something.
Robert: Other people...observing us?
Claude: Do you think that you were left alone by Michael? That he allowed you so easily to train Arinasa? His plan was in motion. He wanted to let Arinasa grow so he can steal her Azymus. Her power is a bit special. I don't know why, or for what Michael wanted to use it. But he failed. I managed to stop him.
Robert: But i still don't understand why didn't you communicate with me?!?
Claude: Because Michael can read an Eären's mind. That's why. If he would have known that i am still alive, he would have unleashed a war on Earth. Something that nobody wished.
Anyway, i communicated with the other before you came here.
Robert shocked: What?!? When!?!
Claude: I was the one that saved your life.*
Robert: I...thank you...
Claude: You're welcome. So, as i was saying...i watched over you. I saw Arinasa's fight with Flamel. I was ready to jump in but i managed to refrain myself. And then when i saw Michael abducting her, i decided that it was the best thing to do, because it would have allowed me to sneak into the City. Michael's attention would be kept on Arinasa. And now...we have regained the Celest City.
Robert: Which is great, Claude...but i don't understand something. How would having the City, helps us with the Prophecy?
Claude smiles: For the Prophecy to accomplish, there are several other things that need to be done. It's not just like that.*
Suddenly Arinasa approaches Claude. Her face is positioned at the ground, so he cannot see her eyes. She gets near him and remains silent.
Claude with regret: I'm sorry love...but it had to be done...
Arinasa barely speaking: You're sorry?
Suddenly she makes a step back, and gives Claude a punch covered in Azymus. He gets throwed on his back. He gets up confused.
Arinasa turns around and leaves the room crying.
Claude: I deserved that...
Leonardo: She will get over it...trust me...i never saw her that happy in the past two years.

The scene it's switched. It shows the Celest City a few hours later. The main square suddenly gets hit by a powerful white light. Five men emerge from the light. All dressed in white. Jesus. Mohammed. Moses. Buddha and Amaterasu.

Suddenly Vishnu lands in front of them.
Claude: The Beyonders.*
Jesus: Vishnu. We are here to talk.
Claude: It seems so. Come on. Follow me to the Council Room.
Claude leaves the main square with the five Beyonders. This is a rare sight. The Beyonders, all of them, never came to the City before.

The panel shows Claude entering with the Beyonders in the Council Room. Robert is there with Arinasa, Max and Leonardo.

Claude: Everyone. Out. Now.
Arinasa: Claude? What does this mean?
Claude: Arinasa get out now.
Arinasa protesting: But...
Her mouth gets covered by Robert's hand. He pushes her towards the door and the four people leave the room.
Arinasa bursts on the corridor.
Arinasa: What the hell was that Robert!?! He cannot order us around like that!
Robert: That was actually one of the moments that you are supposed to just shut up. Do you know who those people behind him are?
Arinasa: I do not.
Robert: Mohammed. Amaterasu. Buddha. Jesus. Moses. The five Beyonders.
Arinasa shocked: The Beyonders?!? What on earth are they doing here?!?
Robert nervous: I don't know...
Leonardo also nervous: But this could get ugly...

The panel shows the Council Room. Claude sits at the table with the five Beyonders.

Claude: Jesus. Mohammed. Buddha. Amaterasu. Moses. Welcome to the Celest City. I think that this is a premiere...having all of you gathered here at the same time.
Jesus: Indeed. It is. We have a reason for coming here.
Claude: I thought so. This obviously isn't a curtosy visit. Considering that you tried to kill me.
Mohammed: Because you became dangerous.
Claude with a menacing look: Did you really thought that the Axis Mundi will be enough to eliminate me? You should know better.
Amaterasu: Maybe we should have another shot then.
Jesus: Calm yourselves down. We won't attack Vishnu again. I'm sorry, Vishnu, it was a mistake from our side.
Claude: Indeed. So, what do you want? Why are you here?
Mohammed: We had...trouble...to decide if we will support you or not.
Buddha: That's why we have gathered here today. To discuss in front of you our decisions.*
Moses: We thought that making a decision as a group will affect the world. Because of that, we will make decisions, individually. It's better for everyone.
Claude: I'm all ears.
Jesus: I declare myself neutral. I don't want to be a part of this war.
Mohammed: So do I. I belive that it's for the best.
Amaterasu: I am against Vishnu's regime. I will not allow him to destroy our way of life.
Moses: I stand with Vishnu.
Buddha: I choose neutrality. It's the best call right now.
Claude: Interesting. So Amaterasu is against me and Moses is at my side.
Jesus: It means that probably a war will take place. That's a fact.
Claude: Indeed. I will not abandon my quest.
Mohammed: Vishnu...i know your true plan. The Prophecy...it's not about destroying the gods forever. It's an entirely different thing. It's about your brother. And you.*
Claude with a menacing glare: So what?
Mohammed: So why are you deceiving the girl?*
Claude: You know why.
Mohammed: I know your plan. You want to make her kill your brother. You know that if you die by his hands, the pain that she will feel will trigger her powers. And she will obliterate him. Something that you were not able to do. But don't you think that it's a risky gamble?*
Jesus: Mohammed is right. We all know that your brother, the Bringer of Chaos...will return at some point. And that you cannot kill him. Neither of us can, actually. But do you think that leaving the fate of the world in her hands...do you think that it's worth the risk?
Claude: I do think so.*
Buddha: So if the Bringer of Chaos murders you...
Claude: Her latent powers will awake. That will be the end. The Prophecy shall be completed. He will fall. You all know what happend to me because of him. You all know that when i became the Dark General, none of you could stop me. I killed Osiris without sweating.*
Moses: That's true. But how do you know that the Primordial Azymus is inside her?
Claude smiles menacing: Because it's an information that i have access to.
Amaterasu suddenly shocked: Only the...
Claude: Exactly. Only the one that met the Supreme Being can know this.*
Buddha: It's interesting. But you should know something new.
Claude: What?
Jesus: In his final moments...Michael unleashed something.
Claude confused: Unleashed something?
Jesus with sad eyes: He opened a certain gate...a gate that was keeping someone locked...
Claude suddenly understands what Jesus is talking about and he is shocked.
Mohammed: Indeed. He is free once again.*
Claude: It means that my plans have changed. Radically.
The Beyonders suddenly get up.
Moses: We will leave now. You know where we stand. I will support you with ever you want. Just let me know.
Claude: Aye...thank you for the update about opening those gates. Now i need to change everything. Oh and...Amaterasu...
Amaterasu: What?
Claude smiles menacing: Meet me on the battlefield when yo're ready!
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Old 11-19-2012, 02:08 PM   #1314
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

The panel it's switched. Everyone is waiting for Claude to exit the Council room.

Newton: Do you think that he is fine?
Mozart: Yeah...we shouldn't worry too much.*
Suleyman: I assume that they are here only to talk, right?
Henry: Let's hope so...otherwise...
Leonardo: Otherwise we will all die.
Houdini: Anyway...Claude must know what he is doing...
Darwin: He knows.
Max: Let's hope so...or it will be just like Leonardo said.
Robert: We will not die. Claude will do anything he can to protect us.
Arinasa remains silent, simply waiting for his return.
Suddenly Claude opens the giant doors and steps out.
Robert approaches him.
Robert: Claude...what happend? Why are the Beyonders here?
Claude: They were here to warn me about something.*
Robert: About what?
Claude suddenly changes his whole atitude. From a warm one he goes cold towards Robert.
Claude: It's none of your bussines.*
Robert surprised makes a step back.
Robert: What are you talking about?
Claude: I'm sorry, Robert. But you are no longer of use to me.
Robert confused: What do you mean?
Arinasa suddenly makes a step ahead angry: What the fuck is going on, Claude? First you vanish yourself for two years, and now you treat us like this?
Claude with piercing eyes: You don't understand...don't you...i never intended to bring down the gods. My plan was to regain the control over the Celest City. And i just used all of you as a diversion. A diversion to keep the Celestials's eyes off me and on you. A diversion that would allow me to be recognized once again as the leader.
Arinasa shocked: Are you saying...that...
Claude: Yes. I lied to all of you. And now...i have no further use for any of you.*
Leonardo: This cannot be true.
Claude: I'm sorry Leonardo...but it's true. Now...you know what happens with those that i have no use for? They die.
Robert remains paralyzed hearing this. Claude just destroyed his world. But the humans are the ones that take action first.
Mozart: Kill us? After everything that we went through?
Claude suddenly summons his sword and charges with electricity.
Claude: Exactly...
He starts walking towards them. Just at that moment, Darwin takes out his revolver and fires all the six Radium bullets at Claude. The latter deflects each bullet with his sword. Robert is still in shock.*
Darwin shouts: Everyone! Go at him with everything you got!
Houdini claps his palms and summons tight ropes that envelop around Claude. But he breaks them with ease. At the same moment Leonardo and Amadeus starts shooting bullets at him. He deflects the all. Darwin grabs Robert's shoulder.
Darwin shouts: Come on Robert! Open the fucking gate to Earth!
Robert is still confused and Darwin starts shaking him.
Arinasa is crying but when she sees Claude, she finds her courage and claps her hands.
Arinasa shouts: AQUA! LANCEA!!!
She starts throwing spears of high pressurised water at Claude. He quickly charges electricity through his sword and cuts through the spears. Robert is still shocked.
Arinasa: Aqua! Unda!!!
From nowhere a giant tsunami appears and hits Claude, pushing him back. Arinasa uses the momentum and goes near Robert.
Arinasa: ROBERT! Deal with this later! Now, get us out of here!
Robert regains his senses and claps his hands.
Robert:*Sigillanda! Terra! Portas aperire!!!
From the ground a giant majestic gate appears. Robert opens it and looks at the group.
Robert: Go ahead. I will handle Claude, myself.
Arinasa: I don't think so!
She claps her hands.
Arinasa: Aqua! Sphaera!
A sphere of water appears around Robert, trapping him. He is heard shouting, but Arinasa pushes him through the portal. The rest of the group jumps in, Arinasa being the last one. Before she takes the leap she looks at Claude. He just escaped from the wave. She looks into his eyes. She sees only sadness and sorrow. For a moment she is confused. She is oscilating between going with the group or staying behind. She feels that something is not right.*
Claude with a sad voice: Fulgur...Ultimum chorea!
His sword becames enveloped entirely in electricity. He dashes towards Arinasa. Just when he is moments away from slashing her, she finally releases her Azymus shaped as a weapon. An elongated, curved blade appears in her hand. A sword that has a white hilt and the blade itself it's white.
Arinasa finally understanding her power, charges her sword with her Azymus. The white blade starts glowing.
Arinasa: Venus...release!!!
She clashes her sword with Claude's, creating a giant blast. For a brief moment she spots his expression. A mixture of sadness, surprise, and what's the most disturbing: he is proud of her. His love of her can be seen in his eyes. And yet, he is attacking her. Something doesn't feel right.
Claude pushes her back, and throws her into the portal. She falls into it, without managing to understand his behaviour. She sees him smiling, as the portal takes her away from the Celest City.

The scene shows Earth. Every member of the group is on the ground somewhere in a field.

Leonardo: Did....Claude just betrayed us?
Darwin quickly regaining his cold blood: It seems so.
Robert: I don't understand...what happend...why? What were we to him?
Suleyman: I'm sorry my friend...but it seems that we were mere pawns.*
Max: I cannot belive what i just saw.
Newton: It's...it's...i do not have words to describe what just happend...
Henry: He betrayed us...he used us...he tricked us...
Houdini: To think that he was only after power...
Mozart: And now what?
Arinasa suddenly gets up and with a determined look on her face talks to the group.
Arinasa menacing: I will tell you what happens now. We prepare ourselves. And we will crush him and the Celest City. That's what's going to happen!

The panel it's switched. It shows the Celest City. It's night. The top tower, gets striked by several lightnings. The scene shows Vishnu standing at the top of the tower. He is sitting down right on the edge with his legs balancing above the Celest City. Lightnings are striking around him.*

Claude while tears rolls down his cheeks: I'm sorry everyone...i'm sorry...but it had to be done...you will all understand soon...i'm sorry...
Suddenly Krishna, the leader of the Blue Guard lands near him.
Krishna: Lord Vishnu. What are your orders?
Vishnu without looking at him: Prepare the City's defences. Mobilize every warrior that we have. Prepare our full power.
Krishna: Can i ask what happend?
Claude: Michael...released a seal before he died. A sealed that should have been locked.*
Krishna: What seal, my lord?
Claude: The seal to the gates of hell. He freed Lucifer...
Krishna shocked: Lucifer?!?
Claude finally gets up and turns around. His eyes are yellow, with a three lightnings around a black iris.
Claude with a menacing gaze: Aye...and we will put him down once again!
He turns around and looks at the horizont.
Claude: I'm sorry everyone...but the truth...must remain hidden for the moment!

The end.
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Old 11-20-2012, 07:40 PM   #1315
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Vishnu- loving the progression of this story man. Details still need to be unearthed for Max and Arinisa but they are coming into form. I also like the way you are bringing more elements from the fanfic like with Lucifer as brother to Claude but his nebulous power that dwarfs the beings who can't be dwarfed seems like a bit of Bleach with Aizen and him combining his powers to the Hogyoku (spelling terrible on that) but I see a bit of similarity there. What I think is more depth on Lucifer, a power breakdown of humans like Arinisa with the abilities to bloom with power, what those types are, etc. Also are where these brothers came from, why the gap in power between them, the Beyonders position in it, things along these lines.

What I also have to say is the fight scenes are tremendous. You had softer fight scenes early but you're picking it back up. You're almost to the type that God Slayer Sasuke and Naruto in your fanfic. Those scenes are in a league of their own still.

So when do get more story sir?! Gotta kick us more chaps. Great job as always. You are the standard, point blank.
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Old 11-22-2012, 02:10 PM   #1316
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Originally Posted by KiddJutsu View Post
Vishnu- loving the progression of this story man. Details still need to be unearthed for Max and Arinisa but they are coming into form. I also like the way you are bringing more elements from the fanfic like with Lucifer as brother to Claude but his nebulous power that dwarfs the beings who can't be dwarfed seems like a bit of Bleach with Aizen and him combining his powers to the Hogyoku (spelling terrible on that) but I see a bit of similarity there. What I think is more depth on Lucifer, a power breakdown of humans like Arinisa with the abilities to bloom with power, what those types are, etc. Also are where these brothers came from, why the gap in power between them, the Beyonders position in it, things along these lines.

What I also have to say is the fight scenes are tremendous. You had softer fight scenes early but you're picking it back up. You're almost to the type that God Slayer Sasuke and Naruto in your fanfic. Those scenes are in a league of their own still.

So when do get more story sir?! Gotta kick us more chaps. Great job as always. You are the standard, point blank.

Thank you Kiddjutsu. Now about the story...Claude's nature will be hinted in the upcoming chapter. Also, the conflict with Lucifer will be a major part of the plot. But don't forget about the Beyonders, because they haven't forgot about Claude. Anyway, this time i decided to write also a novel plan so i won't lose sight of the matters that i want to explain/detail/ focus on. This fanfic will be longer than the previous one, and i really hope, much better. I want to insist on the internal conflict of the characters and also on the consequences of their actions. That, combined with the fight scenes and history of the world...well i hope that it will maintain your interest. Also, in the future I want to develop much more Max. I have a plan for him, but for now, he will be only a support character rather than part of the main characters ( Claude and Arinasa). And, this will not be a wannabe shounen fanfic. Characters will start dying. Soon. Important ones. Not only the antagonists.
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Old 11-25-2012, 01:24 PM   #1317
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

@vishnu i really like your writings but man why are u adding all this characters from the book off history(darwin,houdini.newton,mozart???w tf man seriously?)? when are u going to add saddam hussein or George W BUsh in your fiction?

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Old 11-25-2012, 03:27 PM   #1318
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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@vishnu i really like your writings but man why are u adding all this characters from the book off history(darwin,houdini.newton,mozart???w tf man seriously?)? when are u going to add saddam hussein or George W BUsh in your fiction?
This is a fanfic. It's not a novel. If you don't like it, i'm sorry. But i won't change this, because i like it. I know that opinions may be different. But for me it's like this: i must like what i'm writing. And i like using historical characters. I'm truly sorry if it bothers you and that you cannot see past thenames. Other readers are not disliking this,though.
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Old 11-25-2012, 04:34 PM   #1319
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

Anyway it's wierd ......

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Old 11-25-2012, 05:35 PM   #1320
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Re: Naruto Fan Fiction Thread!!

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Anyway it's wierd ......
Don't read it then. I really do not see what you consider wierd. If you had a valid criticism i would have accepted it gladly. But you are simply pointing out something that doesn't make any sense. I used some historical characters. That are far way from our timeline. I did it in order to make people relate much easier to the characters in the story. It's not that hard to grasp. Because in a story where people are immortal, and it's set using elements from the reality, it's more plausible and interesting to insert real famous people.
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