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Old 10-28-2009, 07:57 PM   #1
Tabris
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Not Always Right

I often visit the site www.notalwaysright.com

It is full of stories from cashier and associates at varius retail stores about customers.
it's hilarious

this is one story
Paging Leonidas To The Front Desk
Hardware Store | New York, NY, USA

Customer: “Look! My friend told me I could get this type of hammer at your store! Now go get it for me!”

Cashier: “Sir, I already told you… we don’t have ANY hammers back here that aren’t already stocked on the shelves.”

Customer: “LOOK HERE. F**K YOU! I KNOW YOU’RE TRYING TO SAVE MONEY BY SWITCHING OUT YOUR STOCKS! GET ME THIS HAMMER!”

(At this point, I come to the front of the store, overhearing what’s going on; note that I’m the manager.)

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Customer: “Yes sir! Your employee here is not doing what I tell her to!”

Me: “Well, you need to calm down and understand that we don’t have what you’re looking for. So maybe you should go back to shelves and check–”

Customer: “F**K THAT!!! IT’S NOT THERE, OKAY?! YOU NEED TO F**KING GET ME WHAT I ASK FOR!”

Me: “That’s it. Get out of my store.”

Customer: “What? NO!”

Me: “Sir, get out, or I have to take you out.”

Customer: “Then do it!”

(I go around the counter and approach the customer. I yank him by his collar & drag him to the door.)

Me: “Now, then… you wanna apologize and maybe come back in?”

Customer: “No! I just want my hammer! God, what is this madness?!”

Me: *puts the customer down*

Customer: *confused* “… What is it?”

(I turn back to the cashier, who nods in approval. I then turn back to face the customer.)

Me: “Madness? THIS! IS! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!” *kicks customer out of store and slams door*


there are better ones, but i just read this one
check it out, you'll really like it if you work at some place serving the public

lots of them are ones where afterwards you're like WTF?

EDIT: I also found this one really funny, because i'm canadian

Big Lies Are Better Than Small Ones
Liquor Store | Willimantic, CT, USA

(Often I enter the beer cooler with shorts, a t-shirt and some rubber-hand work gloves on.)

Me: *walks out of the cooler*

Customer: “Are you f***ing insane? It’s freezing in there.

Me: “I don’t mind it.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! You know it’s cold. Why would you lie to me?”

Me: “Excuse me? I’m pretty sure I know my own tolerance and I’m working so I get a bit warm, even in there.”

Customer: “WARM!? In a COOLER!? You’re a G**D*** LIAR! How can you be WARM in THERE!”

Me: “I’m Canadian, and ever since my igloo melted I only feel at home in there.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t know. I’m sorry for your loss.”

Last edited by Tabris; 10-28-2009 at 08:21 PM.
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Old 10-28-2009, 08:39 PM   #2
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Re: Not Always Right

Lol
Cool
I love these stupid client quotes sites
Although I think most of these are fictional
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Old 10-28-2009, 08:57 PM   #3
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Re: Not Always Right


Truly Fake Intentions
Clothing Store | Waterford, MI, USA

(A customer and his wife come in to find an outfit for her to wear. He seems particularly interested in one that’s being worn by a mannequin.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you have the outfit on the mannequin?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I sold the last one earlier today. The one the mannequin is wearing is the only one I have.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t you just give me that one then?”

Me: “I can, but I do have another almost identical outfit in stock.”

Customer: “No, I want that one!”

Me: “Okay, sir.”

(I start dragging the mannequin to the back.)

Customer: “Where are you going?”

Me: “City law says I can’t undress her in front of the windows, sir.”

Customer: “Well, why can’t I have that one?”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “I want the one on the mannequin!”

Me: “That’s what I’m doing sir.”

Customer: “I WANT THE ONE ON THE MANNEQUIN!”

(His wife suddenly appears from another part of the store.)

Customer’s wife: “He just wants to see the mannequin naked.


lol
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Old 10-28-2009, 09:39 PM   #4
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Re: Not Always Right

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sevi View Post
I love these stupid client quotes sites
I don't. Human stupidity and absurdity knows no bounds.
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Old 10-29-2009, 05:21 AM   #5
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Re: Not Always Right

If it wern't for OH's American members i'd probably think of all americans as this stuipd

Quote:
The Imperial Left Or The Metric Left
Hotel | London, UK
Guest: “How do you get to a cash machine??”

Me: “You exit the hotel, turn left, and then–”

Guest: “Turn left?”

Me: “Yes, left.”

Guest: “Left?”

Me: “Yes, left.” *pointing with my hand*

Guest: *confused* “Left…right…”

Me: “Left in England is the same as left in America.”

Guest: “Oh, okay! I get it!”
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Old 10-29-2009, 03:23 PM   #6
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Re: Not Always Right

Sevi, you wouldn't think most of the3m were fictional if you were a cashier.
people are seriously this stupif
as for ones that are kind of.... um.... not so...um... they don't really praise american intelligence, i like this one

Boat, Boat, Boat Your Boat, Gently Down The Stream
Boat Rental | Jasper, Alberta, Canada

Customer: “Hello, sir, I am wondering if you can help me?”

Me: “Sure, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “I’m looking to rent a boat.”

Me: “Sure, what kind would you like?”

Customer: “A boat.”

Me: “Yes, sir, but what kind of boat?”

Customer: *confused* “A boat…”

Me: “Yes, sir, a boat, but what kind of boat? We have three different kinds.”

Customer: “A boat boat!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what you mean.”

Customer: “Stupid Canadians! Don’t know what a f***ing boat is!”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry. I just don’t understand your question, but I will go down to the docks with you and help you choose your boat.”

Customer: “Fine!”

(We walk down to the dock and approach a row boat.)

Customer: “That’s the one right there. A boat. You see?”

Me: “Oh, you meant a row boat, sir.”

Customer: “No, that is a boat boat!”

Me: “In Canada, it’s called a row boat.”

Customer: “Jesus, why can’t you Canadians speak regular English like everyone else?!”

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Old 10-29-2009, 03:47 PM   #7
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Re: Not Always Right

When I worked at walmart I was almost always on the verge of tearing someone's throat out with my bare hands because of all the stupid I had to deal with on a daily basis. And besides, we're on the internet. You can find examples of your average person's idiocy pretty much everywhere you look. Shit is totally believable.

Still, the spartan kick thing was probably bullshit. The rest of the story before that was probably true though.


Edit: SK family night?
Quote:
Movie Theater | Massachusetts, USA

(A customer comes in with four very young kids.)

Customer: “Does [R-rated police drama] have any nudity in it?”

Me: “No, but it’s incredibly violent.”

Customer: “…but there’s no sex or nudity, right?”

Me: “No, it’s just really violent and bloody.”

Customer: “I’ll have one adult and four kids, please!”
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Old 10-29-2009, 03:59 PM   #8
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Re: Not Always Right

It's a good way to pass time when you're bored, although lots of them probably are manipulated to make the poster like a "cool guy" like Mibs has noted with the Sparta example.
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Old 10-29-2009, 04:13 PM   #9
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Re: Not Always Right

Yeah, same way that most funny stories are bullshit. This phenomenon is a million years older than the Internet =P
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Old 10-29-2009, 04:42 PM   #10
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Re: Not Always Right

yeah, there are some that are totally exaggerated.
i think the last line in this story was probably added


(Our zoo recently put several robotic dinosaurs in the park to help boost attendance. While working a snack stand, a family of three walks up to me.)

Father: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Yes, how can I help you?”

Father: “Are the dinosaurs real?”

Me: “No, sir. They are not.”

Father: “But we saw them move…”

Me: “They are robotic dinosaurs. They have parts to make them move a little.”

Father: “Then why are they in the zoo if they are not real?”

Me: “It’s to teach our guests about dinosaurs.”

Son: “So are they real, dad?”

Father: *suddenly angry* “No, they are not! These f***ing people have fake animals!”

(As the father and son begin to walk away, the mother stays behind to tell me one last thing.)

Mother: “You know dear, maybe you should get real dinosaurs. That way, you won’t have problems like this.”


perhaps i should type up some of my customer stories. i only have 2 really good ones
and i think i might have told those stories before in the past...

Last edited by Tabris; 10-29-2009 at 04:54 PM.
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Old 10-29-2009, 07:17 PM   #11
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Re: Not Always Right

Put stories on here first


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Old 10-29-2009, 08:09 PM   #12
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Re: Not Always Right

I was only gonna post them on here (or in OH)
you see, some of those submissions were put together into a book.
i don't want my experiences to be profit for someone else
fuck no, only i get to profit from my work experiences

i'll start typing them up right away
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Old 10-31-2009, 02:20 AM   #13
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Re: Not Always Right

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vanity View Post
I don't. Human stupidity and absurdity knows no bounds.
Exactly
Which is hilarious
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