When 2K Games announced that Arnold Schwarzenegger would reprise his role as T-800 in the next WWE2K game, a lot of head scratching followed. It wouldn’t be the only weird celebrity cameo in a game, but it’s definitely one of the most random. Why not just have Arnold be himself? At least he’s still a person wrestling other people, and that makes sense. Shortly after, something happened – It all made sense. Movie characters belong no other place but the video game equivalent of the squared circus of a WWE ring. In honor of this epiphany, here’s some other classic characters who should lace up some boots.
1. “Clubber” Lang – Rocky III
Considering Mr.T’s rich history with the company and his spot in the WWE Hall of Fame, it’s almost weird that he still has never been in any of WWE branded games. We can change that, and if he’s going to be added, we should choose his most prolific alter ego, James “Clubber” Lang. He is the character that invented the famous “I pity the fool…” line, after all.
2. Robocop – Robocop
Now that a precedent has been set regarding machine men in the franchise, it might be time to take it up a notch. Not as photogenic as T-800, the cyborg Alex Murphy would become still packs a wallop. He may not have the dexterity of other, more organic Superstars but he does have a pretty solid set of Prime Directives – Serve the Public Trust, Protect the Innocent, Uphold the Law, Law the Smackdown… I might have made the last one up.
3. Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh – Lethal Weapon
There may be no better tag team in movies than Riggs and Murtaugh. With Riggs’ wild eyed recklessness and Murtaugh’s veteran poise, they are the yin and yang that makes a championship pair. If they can overcome diplomatic immunity, Chinese triads, and Gary Busey’s face, all while being exceedingly too old for this, I really don’t see how any duo of wrestlers can even hope to stack up.
4. Bolo Yeung – Literally Every Movie He’s Been In
I know what you’re thinking: “Bolo is the actor, not a movie character.” I beg to differ, considering Bolo plays pretty much the same character in every movie he’s in. He’s the big, powerful, intimidating guy who is pretty much lethal to everyone except the protagonist. The only thing that changes is the degree of which he is a douchebag. He’s really the perfect heel.
5. Sgt. Jericho “Action” Jackson – Action Jackson
Action Jackson was pretty much the best/worst thing to happen to Carl Weathers after the Rocky series and Predator. It did pretty well at the box office, but the movie itself was a mess, regardless of the franchise potential of him in the lead role as a troubled Detroit detective. Clever and hot headed, he would go on WWE like tangents in the movie that almost made the whole thing look like an elaborate episode of RAW, anyway. Also, if Jericho Jackson isn’t a pro-wrestler name, than I don’t know what is.
6. Drax the Destroyer – Guardians of the Galaxy
This is a bit of a lazy pick, considering former WWE Champion Dave Bautista played the green goliath in the movie. The logic tracks almost to perfectly, though. Drax is a superior athletic specimen with a real knack for throwing bodies around, and generally being the toughest guys in the room. And there are currently no Ronan-like guys in the WWE, so he can avoid that sort of repeat embarrassment.
7. Machete – Machete
Ok, so considering Bolo got an entry as himself because he plays pretty much the same guy all the time, you’d think the same would happen to Danny Trejo. Not so. It’s not incredibly relevant that Trejo is pretty much some sort of grizzly degenerate in most of his roles. What is relevant is the 2 (and a half) times he played one of the most ridiculous heroes of modern cinema, Machete. Machete is what champions are made of. Machete doesn’t back down. Machete never quits. Machete don’t text.
8. Black Dynamite – Black Dynamite
The CIA really messed up when they let Black Dynamite walk, because he’s been delivering his own brand of street justice ever since. The communities drug dealers don’t consider him a brother or a friend, because his fury is as ruthless and the only thing sharper than his tongue are his suits. The WWE could use a man sticking it to the Man for the little man.
9. Predator – Predator
Let’s address the 7 foot, 500 lb alien in the room. If we’re gonna have time traveling robots and cyborg police officers cameo in the squared circle, the next logical step as a representative of a race of humanoid reptiles that have been hunting humans for sport and honor for centuries. Give one a pair of shiny trunks and some pyro, and what makes it any different than John Cena? Also: Predators are already pretty good at being in video games.
10. Sho’Nuff, Shogun of Harlem – The Last Dragon
Pretty much a pro wrestling villain already, The Shogun of Harlem would parade through the streets, professing his superiority, and bulling the local citizens into fearful subservience. He dressed the part as well, opting for animal print trimmed kimonos and Mad Max props over Levi’s and Sketchers. Not only could he make the likes of Brock Lesnar kiss his converse, he’d have a posse of goons telling him how pretty he was as he did it. The kind of guy who dunks 10 year olds in trash cans makes the perfect pro wrestling personality.
Who else should totally be in a digital WWE ring? Tweet us @CurseGamepedia, or leave yours below in the comments.