It’s Episode 4 of The Bachelor and there are still contestants popping up on the TV whom I’m certain I’ve never seen before in my life. We really need to trim the fat, but first, we’re heading on vacation.
Arie Luyendyk Jr.’s giant personality could only keep the ladies entertained for so long, so this week he shipped his potential brides to exotic Lake Tahoe for some wintery fun in the woods. But they didn’t fly far enough to escape all the drama, so let’s break down the most memorable moments below.
Wilderness Survival Training
Tonight’s group date looked more like an episode of Survivor, as the contestants were forced to eat insects and drink their own urine. Okay, so they ended up not actually having to drink it — jokester Arie was actually drinking apple juice when he took a swig from his pee jug — but does that really make things less weird? Everyone looked relieved that it was a joke, but they still all had to pee into little bottles. And then all pretended like it never happened and moved on to the next activity, which was swallowing worms, naturally. If you can’t fall in love on a date like this, then sorry, but you’ll probably be alone forever.
Urine for it this time! #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/QwH0J5mrtA
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) January 23, 2018
"As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with worms."
Yup, paraphrasing Shakespeare.#TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/kumYX2Z8sb
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) January 23, 2018
They are drinking their own piss on the. #bachelor This show has sank to an all-time low. #BachelorNation
— Janelle Pierzina (@JanellePierzina) January 23, 2018
Krystal’s Breakdown
Producers must have loved Krystal for making their jobs so easy this season, as she effortlessly fulfills her role as the villain every time she opens her mouth. This week, the competition got the best of her, however, as she suddenly realized she’s on a dating reality show forced to share a man with a room full of nearly identical women.
“I know I need to talk to Arie, but yet, I don’t really want to be one of those girls,” she said in a confessional. Krystal, did you forget about Bibiana? (We sure haven’t!) She called you out for being “one of those girls” at the start of the season. But perhaps the breathy blonde just isn’t blessed with self-awareness. She said she was disgusted by how desperate the girls are to get Arie’s attention before interrupting the rose ceremony in order to get Arie’s attention. Ultimately, she got a rose and lives to be hated another day.
5 minutes into the bachelor and i litteraly want to punch Krystal in the face…w a hammer
— shirls (@keishadicaire) January 23, 2018
I haven’t disliked a girl on the bachelor as much as I dislike Krystal. It’s unnatural. #TheBachelor #BachelorNation pic.twitter.com/jLByfwcFyX
— Emerald (@emmersonsxx) January 23, 2018
Bekah M.’s Age
It was finally time for Bekah M. to let Arie know she is 14 years younger than him and the ladies were certain he wouldn’t be pleased to discover he’s been robbing the cradle. “Do you know how old I am?” the 22-year-old asked with a youthful glimmer in her eye that reminds us that she’s not even old enough to remember 9/11. “I haven’t been wanting to say because I don’t want you to see me through the lens of my age.”
“Oh my god,” he responded in disbelief. Arie expressed doubt about whether or not she’s ready to be in a committed relationship while mentioning that he’s worried he wouldn’t be able to keep up with her. “I feel like I’ve become a little bit more boring,” he said. (Hey, at least he’s self-aware.) Ultimately, though, Bekah’s girlish charms proved too irresistible and Arie gave her a rose.
22 is wayyyy too young for Bekah to get married. At that age, she's got at least 4 or 5 Bachelor in Paradise appearances and a future Winter Games appearance in her before that nonsense. #TheBachelor
— Michael G. (@MichaelGarofola) January 23, 2018
Chris Harrison: “There’s no cocktail party. Arie has made up his mind. And also it’s past Bekah’s bedtime.” #BachelorNation #TheBachelor
— Bachelor Fever (@Coach_Bachelor) January 23, 2018